"Jim" / James Augustine née James Patrick O'Shaughnessy / Mister Metokur / Jim81Jim / Internet Aristocrat - His autistic videos and the gay beta "sweetie squad" who mindlessly suck his cock.

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Perhaps he really likes smoking. People who smoke really do.

I mean I did. It's the hardest thing I ever quit.
Shit man I never was a heavy smoker but if I was given a firm expiration date I'd be smoking marlboro reds like they're going outta style. I mean what's the point he's going to go room temperature by the end of the year most likely?
 
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Reactions: AnOminous
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With all He has suffered these last 5 years, the least the universe can do for him is to give him a peaceful death.
As Metokur lay dying in Hospice with his Waifu and DVD anime collection, a feint holler is heard from the reception area. A 5'9 Ralphamale appears, drenched in sweat. He pulls out a gun and says "Me first BITCH" and blows his brains out all over Metokurs Sailor Moon poster collection.

It just so happens he has the same blood type as Metokur, so they transplant all of the Gunts organs, except the liver and kidneys, and Metokur reluctantly takes over the killstream for the rest of his life...

which is exactly 2 and a half years, because his body literally fights off getting gunted too death.
 
I looked up vertebral artery dissection and apparently it's a kind of stroke. So at this point, he's had cancer, a stroke, autoimmune issues, arthritis (I guess caused by the autoimmune stuff), osteoporosis, kidney stones, and now a heart attack.

And he's only now quitting smoking?
Bro the guy probably has to eat through a straw a hospital food crap and thats his only pleasure left, everything else is a strain to do. I mean is not like quitting half way through having cancer aids would help anyway.
 
On the bright side.
If they knew he was as good as dead, they likely would not tell him to stop smoke and eat better . Maybe.
Doctors are paid when people are fighting their illnesses. They will fight up until the last minute because that is how their money is generated. If Metokur was on hospice (at this point he definitely qualifies) the nurse probably would’ve cut most of his meds down to the essentials for pain management and some other stuff and told him “maybe you shouldn’t smoke” but not stopped him. You can get hard liquor as a prescription at that point.
 
He's 100 percent faking it. Do you know how easy it is to fake screenshots? He blanked out the names on it because he just wants to upset his beta fans into giving him money and attention, which is why he can't quit the internet until he holds up a picture of his medical papers right by his face with Jade. I will think he's lying about it.
Pretty good bait.
 
Read the Poast last night and was pretty sad, thought I heard the news he was getting better. Usually though it's always better before the storm, and I hope he's just enjoying the time he has left laughing at retards. If you do read the farms Jim, thanks for the laughs and godspeed you glorious retard. I just cannot believe DSP has outlived every single person, but then again roaches never can die.
 
Perhaps he really likes smoking. People who smoke really do.

I mean I did. It's the hardest thing I ever quit.
Medical science says nicotine is more addictive than heroin (but with less serious medium-term health effects and withdrawal symptoms ofc). I believe it, I've gone years w/o smoking only to relapse and for that reason I expect to be smoking again at some point in the future. Quitting a £500 a week coke habit was trivially easy compared to giving up smoking, for me at least.
 
Read the Poast last night and was pretty sad, thought I heard the news he was getting better. Usually though it's always better before the storm, and I hope he's just enjoying the time he has left laughing at retards. If you do read the farms Jim, thanks for the laughs and godspeed you glorious retard. I just cannot believe DSP has outlived every single person, but then again roaches never can die.
We got reports from people not directly connected to Jim that the cancer was in remission. I don't know if he ever confirmed that or not, but even before this medical dump we knew the cancer wasn't the main issue.
 
In some strange way, it's fitting. Jim is the voice of the old internet, and that's pretty much gone as well.

But in all seriousness, Jim is hilarious, and I'm gonna miss him when the time comes. He has never seemed to let stupid online drama bother him beyond its utility to make him laugh. Perhaps that's a side effect of being so ill for so long. Puts things in perspective.
 
Jim is saying he had a heart attackView attachment 5245627View attachment 5245628View attachment 5245632View attachment 5245636
E: small update. Jimmothy has a few listed health issues on his healthcare app
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Edit again (sorry, for some reason archive.org refuses to archive this shit)
Kidney stone drama and osteoporosis and more stints
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yeah not to be too negative but jims absolutely fucked. with this type of heart issue you are on borrowed time plain and simple. there is always that slim chance you can bounce back but that would require jim to recover from all his other illnesses so his body can focus on the heart stuff. i admire his stubbornness its a trait i feel like everyone should have to some degree.
 
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