Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Harambe]

Fatty needs that much to make up for his dead taste buds and barely functional sense of smell.

No matter how much vanilla he adds all he smells is burnt toast!

 

[Super Hans v2]

Do you think the arm smells bad or different?

How would you even tell? Jack hasn't had his ass wiped since being in the nursing home.

 

[indomitable snowman]

Putrescine and cadaverine have very distinct smells. Would cut through the dirty diaper. Everything about this man is gross and affront to natue.

How would you even tell? Jack hasn't had his ass wiped since being in the nursing home.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Putrescine and cadaverine have very distinct smells. Would cut through the dirty diaper. Everything about this man is gross and affront to natue.

So would gangrene. But then I'm betting Jagoff smells pretty ripe all the time.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

No living human should ever be that color. It looks of death and I'm surprised it hasn't just fallen off yet. It's a testament to modern medicine and the resiliency of the human body. Do you think the arm smells bad or different?
If he gets a cut, can he feel it and if not, then are we looking at the maggoty arm arc?

What are you talking about? Jagoff "totally agrees" that his right arm is looking better.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

This is a man who was weeping for joy during rehab when he finally got to move his paralyzed arm for the first time in years. And now, due to sheer neglect and gluttony, his limb is reduced to looking like the bony nub of an eaten chicken wing. Ironic, isn't it?

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I hate that I see the eye of goatse in the withered meat hammer fist. Why is it so shiny?

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Cinnamon rolls? I see Jack is really sticking to that keto diet

 

[Pig Cups]

Come on in close, foodjacks. We've got another video from Jack where he is accusing Rob of stealing recipe roulette from him. And it looks like he's deleting negative comments again.

"Okay, before I give this whole dish away to Bible study..."

Haven't they suffered enough? Also, the fact that he felt the distinct need to include that speaks volumes. He knows that he's going to eat it all by himself (with maybe a few crumbs set aside for Tammy), and he knows that we know it too. And thus, his uncomfortable self-consciousness takes over and makes him frantically gurgle out a denial that no one believes, as part of some attempt to keep up appearances (lol, what appearances?).

If he didn't say anything about who'd be eating that abomination, it'd be more plausible to see it as something made for a crowd and not just him. After all, it's in a disposable aluminum baking dish, and those are frequently used for get-togethers/potlucks, right? But him going far out of his way to tell us that he's TOTALLY NOT going to be shoveling it down all on his own? He might as well have just sat down and eaten it all in full view of the camera right then and there.

Listen, Jack: your duplicitous behavior over time has made it so that saying that you plan to give food away, at this point, accomplishes the exact opposite of what you hope to achieve. Simply *not* saying what's to come of the food might not help much as far as soothing your ego or sense of paranoia, but it's significantly better than continuing the Bible study/homeless charade.

Also, LOL...

Holy shit he has bought like a 20+ oz bottle of vanilla. Can you imagine needing that much vanilla and not being a commercial bakery/restaurant?

And you just know that it's that garbage imitation vanilla and not pure vanilla extract...

Just get a 4-8 fl oz bottle of the real stuff. It's all you really need for a home kitchen, even if you do a lot of baking. Hell, the avid bakers in my life (who do a hell of a lot more baking than me) wouldn't be caught dead with that economy-sized bottle of fake dismalness.

 

[AnOminous]

Listen, Jack: your duplicitous behavior over time has made it so that saying that you plan to give food away, at this point, accomplishes the exact opposite of what you hope to achieve.

What's amazing about this fat retard telling that lie about giving half-eaten hamburgers to the homeless is that not only does he think that anyone believes it, but he thinks that if you did believe it, you wouldn't despise him even more for poisoning the homeless.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Now Jack's look like a cum laced abomination. But what the hell is with this new trend to cook Cinnamon Rolls covered in heavy cream? Seriously who the fuck wants a soggy cinnamon roll? If you want Bread pudding just make it and leave the cinnamon rolls alone.

 

[Pizza Munch]

Late to the party with this but @captkrisma?

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Here's the daily intake of a family of 4 on one single dish. It looks like an elephant ejaculated on the dish after rabbits took numerous shits. This is not edible.

Looks like something Jack "had" to eat during summer camp.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

And you just know that it's that garbage imitation vanilla and not pure vanilla extract...

Just get a 4-8 fl oz bottle of the real stuff. It's all you really need for a home kitchen, even if you do a lot of baking. Hell, the avid bakers in my life (who do a hell of a lot more baking than me) wouldn't be caught dead with that economy-sized bottle of fake dismalness.

Yeah but that real stuff lasts forever. Or if you really want to, get a bottle of vodka or everclear, slice open a couple vanilla pods and throw them in. Let it sit in a cool, dark place for about a year and you'll have enough real vanilla extract to last you a lifetime. Hell you could bottle it into little frou frou bottles and give them as gifts to people you know. And you probably will because that's a lot of vanilla to go around.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Jack "Congestive Heart Failure" Scalfani gurgles through another episode of Restaurant Roulette, of course without revealing anything about how the restaurants get chosen. Pretty sure he's taking the piss out of the YT commentors since he mentions "meat" maybe 10-15 times within the space of 30 seconds and ends the review with "gud gud gud" etc.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Jack "Congestive Heart Failure" Scalfani gurgles through another episode of Restaurant Roulette, of course without revealing anything about how the restaurants get chosen. Pretty sure he's taking the piss out of the YT commentors since he mentions "meat" maybe 10-15 times within the space of 30 seconds and ends the review with "gud gud gud" etc.

Lot's of meat cheap. Jack like. Gud. Literally an A. Tongue action.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Jack "Congestive Heart Failure" Scalfani gurgles through another episode of Restaurant Roulette, of course without revealing anything about how the restaurants get chosen. Pretty sure he's taking the piss out of the YT commentors since he mentions "meat" maybe 10-15 times within the space of 30 seconds and ends the review with "gud gud gud" etc.

1. Styrofoam plates
2. Not content with showing how low-class he and Tam are by going to places exclusively with pictures on menus, but now proclaims that it's a feature he loves.

And Jack's not smart enough to make fun of anybody. Him saying meat over and over is just the strokebrain breaking down and saying the only two things this sack of lard wants in his mouth.

 

[poopshoes]

lol the comments on that video are hilarious.

also notice how he, in one shot, has placed the rim of the pan under the swollen thumb of his rotting purple meat-dangle to try and create an illusion of utility?
View attachment 5242345

The only question is whether he manipulated that corpse-hand into position using his left hand, or just had tammy do it.


his "good" arm's lookin p gnarly too. jack's got the itis
View attachment 5242321

Maybe I'm the last retard to notice this, but I just realized he has his "smart/fit" watch bullshit on his only useable fucking arm. It's small things like this that make me feel true hatred towards him for some reason.

 

[Pig Cups]

This man's upcoming death will be one of the most completely expected, least surprising events to occur, owing to the rate of deterioration and continued enslavement to his vices. The level of what can only be described as the diametric opposite of shock that will be felt upon receiving the news will be on par with what I felt upon learning of the deaths of Chris Farley, Amy Winehouse, and Fez Whatley. And those people served an actual purpose (besides providing fodder for internet autists).

What's amazing about this fat retard telling that lie about giving half-eaten hamburgers to the homeless is that not only does he think that anyone believes it, but he thinks that if you did believe it, you wouldn't despise him even more for poisoning the homeless.

I've not given food to the homeless since one of them rudely turned down a surplus pizza I offered (it was from a nearby event and untouched), insisting something be freshly bought for him. Fuck 'em.

That being said, I do my duty each year by volunteering at a local soup kitchen on Thanksgiving mornings.

 

[AnOminous]

Just get a 4-8 fl oz bottle of the real stuff. It's all you really need for a home kitchen, even if you do a lot of baking. Hell, the avid bakers in my life (who do a hell of a lot more baking than me) wouldn't be caught dead with that economy-sized bottle of fake dismalness.

That fake vanilla literally comes from an animal's anus. Look it up if you don't believe me. Jack sucks shit out of dead animal buttholes. Jack does that.

 

[ZipDisk]

watch bullshit

Every time he boops the iwatch with his nose I hope the watch will slide into whatever abomination he's cooking.