Let me just get this out of the way: about a year ago someone sent an account to my little munchie research chat, a girl that was claiming to have two rare variants of EDS at the same time. Classical and Vascular. At first it was "ok munchie” and “let's keep an eye on this one because she's going to be funny." She fit the type. Young, white, middle-class American girl whose parents held her hand through life. All her friends were instagram spoonies. She was dramatic in every post. Then came the proof: an actual genetics testing panel from a legitimate diagnostics firm that showed a multi-gene deletion involving the genes COL3A1 and COL5A2. She really did have two variants of EDS along with a host of other problems caused by a massive fuck up in her DNA. Things can go catastrophically wrong in human development, things that seem like they are so far outside the realm of the possible may be, and you can’t always assume an improbable story is a lie.
Which is all to say I went into this thinking, "could this one also be telling the truth? Did the zygote that split to form these twin girls have a big old Fuck You coded in its DNA, causing both of them to inherit some wretched connective tissue diseases?"
No, lol.
Nicole Sams starts her account (currently @thatstudydog) in August 2013 with teen girl fluff. She’s a 16 year old homeschooler in her last years of high school trying to brand herself as a super ambitious and organized student, the kind of girl who hops out of bed early and spends hours color-coding her notes before school.
Nicole is a total geek into every standard teen nerd fandom from anime to Marvel capeshit to Dr. Who.
She’s also a youtuber making videos under the name Danni Sams but her entire account has been wiped save a few inconsequential vides. It was apparently a lot of cosplay and nerdy skits.
She’s a twin. Nicole’s twin sister Abby is also on instagram as @abbysamsd. Her account also starts in August 2013 and is way more active than Nicole’s. They may look fraternal but they're actually identical. Abby just takes infinitely better care of herself than Nicole.
Abby prides herself in healthy eating.
And modesty, although she'll often show herself in very short running shorts so I guess that doesn't count.
The twins are very religious. Abby has a blog where she writes about having briefly gone to public school but being bullied by her peers about her faith after arguing against evolution with her teachers. They now homeschool but apparently either do some kind of homeschool co-op or attend some classes at school as they occasionally do have to go to a school in the morning, which Nicole, of course, complains about.
Abby's a letterman at the local public school but this may be a residual from when they attended there or a situation where they are allowed to attend extracurriculars at the public school.
Abby works out a lot. She surfs, skateboards, and freedives too. The twins are basically polar opposites. Nicole is shy and nerdy while Abby is outgoing and extremely active.
She participates in fundraisers for cancer kids and donates her hair to make a wig for a kid.
She loves Disney, Jesus, and Chick-fil-a.
And The Fault in our Stars, teen sickfic romance about teenagers with cancer and they’re in love and then they’re dead.
#gayrights. Ok, wasn't expecting that but
Abby's first health complaint other than normal colds: migraines in December 2013
Nicole is working out with Abby this one time and only this one time.
Abby claims she's lactose intolerant and at various times also claims she eats a sugar-free and gluten-free diet as well but it’s usually framed as just an extension of her healthy eating habits.
She’s reading a book about Esther Grace Earl, a kid who died of cancer.
Abby hikes and kayaks.
She breaks her surfboard and bonks her head on the way down but she’s alright!
Smiley for Kiley was about another kid with cancer, Kiley Myers. She was a child actress I guess?
Abby goes to the ER for her migraines. I can make out Toradol, topamax, prednisone and Reglan. All of them are used in treating migraines.
She’s also claiming the limited diet she’s been on is for the migraines. I think that's a thing?
But she's not real strict with it in any case.
Meanwhile Nicole has depression and she’s treating it with herbs.
She's trying out for roller derby.
And stalking Type 1 diabetics on youtube for some reason.
And crying,
Abby gets hurt surfing again. She’s fine! Nothing to worry about!
Nicole starts looking like she got a case of the genders.
She’s eating peanut butter and potato chips sandwiches which just reminds me of Ally Sheedy’s character in the Breakfast Club making a Pixi Stix and Captain Crunch sandwich for attention.
Nicole still has depression and now she has trichotillomania, which she announces by showing a bald patch and acting like she was blindsided by the revelation that she has this condition. You kind of notice you’re pulling your hair out, friend. You might do it idly while watching TV but it’s not like you go into a fugue state and wake up bald.
She buys cancer hair wraps to hide it.
Just in time to go to Jesus camp and show it off to the nice church people. No shit.
Also beanies and fidget toys.
She’s getting her hair cut off so she can’t pull it out anymore.
Lmao okay teen girls are dramatic about their hair, but like... you'll see.
Nicole gets her wig and her femininity back.
Nicole is also obsessed with cancer kids, unsurprisingly.
Abby is hiking to film a short film and climbing some trees.
Coming out as what? And why you gotta ruin grandpa's birthday with it?
This Beckie0 girl is a youtuber who made one of those “selfie a day for x years” videos documenting her trichotillomania and dermatillomania, where she’d show that her hair started to grow back in, then something stressful would happen and she’d pull it all out again, shave what was left, and start over, rinse and repeat. So this is why Nicole suddenly has trich and it’s an all-consuming disorder that requires her to shave her head. Beckie, for the record, may be one of the only people whose mental health improved under quarantine. When she stopped having to go out in public every day, she stopped stressing about if people would notice her hair or lack thereof, so she stopped thinking about the fact that she pulls her hair out, so she stopped pulling her hair out.
Nicole self-harmed but has recently stopped. Also claiming she's dyslexic, which she never mentions again and seems to have no issues with.
She’s still obsessed with her hair and now wearing cancer awareness shirts all the time.
She's taking more herbs for depression.
Oh no, Nicole is a fan of
Ashley Mardell aka Ash Hardell, obnoxious non-dysphoric gender snowflake who recently proved she was true n’ honest trans by carrying a pregnancy to term and giving birth, the most female thing one can do.
Still crying about muh mentuls.
But whatever, she’s feeling better, no longer pulling her hair out, and back to skating.
NOTICE ME ASHLEY!!!
Abby is relaxing her diet even more.
She does yoga and is decent at it, but she doesn’t really like it.
She
really likes lifting and crossfit
Nicole is by far our more active instagrammer at this point, at least in terms of posting. She shows off her cutting scars.
She has dermatillomania.
She wants to be in a relationship with a boy.
>tumblr. Well there’s your problem.
She has anxiety and panic attacks.
Nicole loves deaf culture and has been learning ASL since she was a kid.
She still wants a boyfriend.
She’s genderfluid
she gets deep about bandaids.
She cries so much her eyes are puffy and her throat feels like razor blades.
She’s a vegetarian, but not a healthy one.
This doesn’t look vegetarian. I know there’s been some advances in the faux meat department but that looks like real chiggin to me.
Kylie the cancer kid dies and both girls post condolences. The annoying one posts black and white photos of her crying over it for attention.
She’s constantly making dramatic posts about how she’s so sick but it’s always a cold. At this point she’s updating insta several times a day to complain about shit.
She's been saving up to get a ferret as an ESA. She finally gets it. Her ESA ferret is deaf. Everything I read said that this is for real, that ferrets with Blaze pattern fur have about a 75% chance of being totally deaf and that it's the same genetic condition that causes Waardenburg Syndrome in humans. But really, both girls are interested in deaf culture the same way they're obsessed with cancer kids and I don't know that I believe she was blindsided by this. I think she picked this ferret knowing it would have a very good chance of being deaf. If I'm even less generous, we know Nicole openly seeks the attention of youtubers she watches and obnoxious gender-alien gigafaggot "Stef" Sanjati was making very popular videos about both his gender LARP and his real Waardenburg diagnosis at the time.
Whatever the case one thing is for sure: Nicole is absolutely ridiculous and seeks attention however she can.
Meanwhile Abby is just posting about crossfit, photography/filming, surfing, travel and occasionally mentions having migraines and being medicated for them. She is clearly the functional twin.
Nicole has no sleep schedule. Abby does not seem to have this issue.
She’s recovering!
Abby’s still working out and getting those gains.
Nicole’s wearing a mask for seasonal allergies.
TFW FRIENDS ARE TIRED OF MUH MENTULZ.
Oh look she’s seeing an actual psych to get actual medication. Progress!
I just had to laugh. Weeb eating chicken noodle soup with chopsticks. I also vaguely remember “eat everything with chopsticks to slow you down” being one of those pro-ana-lite weight loss tips circulating on social media at the time.
MY TUMBLR GENDER IS VERY IMPORTANT. All her friends are females who pretend they’re not females. It’s a social contagion.
Nicole also posts pictures of her that just say "boy" or "I'm a boy" and I think this was her way of letting her friends know which pronouns to use for her on any given day because it was subject to change without warning.
Nicole thinks it’s unfair that famous youtubers get book offers “left and write” but she can’t get a single publisher to look at her vanity novel she’s been writing for three years! It’s NOT FAIR!!!! Nothing ever goes write for her!!!
she can’t function without her meds she just started taking. Escitalopram aka Lexapro, SSRI antidepressant.
All her friends abandon her. LMAO I know she’s a teenager but holy fuck.
On June 2, Nicole also starts having migraines. Right to level 10. Still updating insta tho.
While Nicole is crying about being bored and her terrible case of the genders, Abby the functional twin is in fucking Tanzania volunteering at a school in a town where there’s no running water. She’s got a kid there she’s been communicating with since she was very young and they finally meet for the first time. Sounds like one of those Sally Struthers sponsor-a-starving-kid-in-Africa situations.
Meanwhile Nicole is taking a picture of her lexapro bottle on top of a YA novel about schizophrenia. She has panic attacks triggered by a fictional suicide attempt in the book then claims she also has a manic episode from it. Because she has no personality outside muh mentulz.
She’s muh mentulzing harder than ever now.
She's got an internet "girlfriend". Pretty sure this kid has Waardenburg Syndrome and found her through hashtags while talking about the ferret but I'm not sure. Looks like most of her internet history has been deleted.
Meat makes her sick and now she’s all pukey.
I guess the chicken she documents herself eating all the time doesn’t count.
She’s a they/them now.
Meanwhile Abby’s getting psyched…. for college! She’s visited her dream school, the University of North Carolina - Wilmington and can’t wait to go. She wants to be a marine biologist.
Back home she's still living her best healthiest life.
The twins go to the beach together and Nicole does not spend the whole vacation sulking and crying.
Only part of it.
They’re home from the beach and now they’re at Jesus camp.
Nicole spends the whole time crying about a friend of hers who necked himself and showing off her self harm scars.
Abby’s back at it in the gym!
And Nicole is back at it crying in her bed.
She’s is
also a fan of The Fault in Our Stars!
Abby spends six hours in the gym in one day because she’s training hard for a competition.
Nicole can’t figure out how to make a grilled cheese.
Abby’s squatting her twin and kayaking
Nicole’s crying because her new books haven't been delivered on time.
Abby’s showing off her lifting callouses.
Nicole’s showing off her psych meds.
And crying about her hair.
And skinwalking cancer kids again.
Abby’s purity ring gets stolen lmao. Sometimes it’s hard to remember just how religious the twins are given Abby's very normal interests and Nicole's tumblr identity.
Nicole is complaining about pain again.
She can’t walk. She has to see a doctor.
It’s just a dermatologist and she gets a shot in an embarrassing place haha. I’m guessing she got an inflamed ingrown hair in her groin or something minor like that.
Abby goes white water rafting and kills it in the gym.
Nicole whines about another cold and shows off her impeccable diet.
Abby is doing cancer fundraisers at her gym.
Nicole is applying for art schools and claims UArts in Philadelphia really wants her. She plans to major in youtuber.
Abby places second in her crossfit competition. Those things on her legs are compression/support sleeves for weight lifting, not braces for injuries.
Nicole finally figures out how to make a grilled cheese sandwich.
Nicole gets literature from the Art Institutes, a for-profit private school that once had sixty campuses across the US. She's excited!!! AI were notorious for accepting anyone, saddling them with enormous debt, and shitting them out with useless degrees that were not worth the paper they were printed on. Students were lied to about how much the program would cost and told inflated estimates of what they could earn once they had their degree. All but seven campuses closed after multiple lawsuits. Most recently, a group of AI students won a debt cancellation supreme court case because they were actually defrauded.
Nicole shows how they were able to do this: gimmicky nerd shit that appealed to the tumblr “artist” set who thought people cared about their anime doodles.
Abby’s excited that the children she helped in Tanzania have each received a mosquito net and other “luxuries” and talks about how life-changing it is for these children to get a real education, so much so that they walk miles to attend school.
Nicole “adopts” a stuffed animal and sucks chocolate off her fingers like an actual toddler.
And picks at her backne.
And cries.
Nicole would like a service dog before she goes to college lmao. Of course she would. She has no job or money so she needs YOU to pay for everything. Gib. (dead link)
And she wants this because she’s found CF vlogger Mary Frey’s socials and Mary has a service dog.
She's giving away her emotional support ferret.
Abby give us a positive Grey’s Anatomy sign and…
ER trip! No one can figure out what’s wrong.
Nicoles judging “prospects” for her accessory dog which she somehow feels she's competent to do. I'll spare you weeks of her describing dogs.
She might get a "professionally" trained dog instead! (spoiler: she does not.)
She is still obsessed with deaf people and mary frey. Like.. really obsessed with Mary.
But she got into Columbia College Chicago, her top pick.
Abby make this post about the bags under her eyes, which has that virtue signalling image description thing, but overall she's doing fine.
Nicole is, unsurprisingly, still talking about her mental health, but nowhere near as much as she used to.
Abby makes a video about why you need to learn ASL even if you’re not deaf. it's been deleted.
The twins get tattoos days after they turn 18. Nicole’s is a Peter Pan quote and Abby’s are pediatric cancer awareness on her thigh and the outline of Tanzania on her arm.
Abby goes to Alabama on a whim and enjoys some stand up paddleboarding with her normal friends.
Nicole suddenly develops a deep interest in yoga and starts doing it for hours at a time. She went from barely touching her toes to this in three months of daily effort. She’s also heat intolerant. Gee, I wonder what she's setting up here.
Abby signs on stage.
Nicole is still just obsessing about Mary Frey. It's really creepy and weird just how many times she makes posts about Mary and tags her for attention.
They graduate high school.
They do a CF walk in Mary's honor. Childhood cancer is out, CF is in!
In June Nicole adopts Mercy, a fully grown pit bull/lab shelter mutt, to be her SD. The dog will alert to panic attacks, do DPT, and interrupt her nervous habits. Prong collar.
Abby’s back in Africa volunteering with the school again. She is in her element and hopes she'll keep coming back year after year.
Nicole is taking her puppy to obedience classes.
Abby travels solo to LA to go to Vidcon. She'll be back in LA soon.
And Nicole travels solo to Chicago. She does not bring the dog.
Notice me Mary!!! But hey, at least she’s no longer tagging the gender people in every post.
She’s starting public access with Mercy.
She wants to join her college’s…
Quiddich team. ok. I guess nerd fitness is better than no fitness.
BRO! DOOD! MARY NOTICED HER!
Mercy gets her CGC.
Nicole moves to Chicago with her puppy.
Abby goes to the US Virgin Islands. She can’t wait to live here.
Nicole takes her dog out in public and it shits in a store. She cries. Also keep your goddamned dogs off the escalator. It is dangerous and scary and they do not understand it. There’s a reason a lot of SD orgs say their dogs can’t be taken on escalators and it’s because it’s real easy for them to get their tails or paws caught in a moving part and end up with a degloving incident or worse.
Abby comes home from the Virgin Islands and decides to move to LA. She doesn't explain it now, but she's gotten a short-term film gig in LA (likely while she was there for VidCon). She's planning to work in LA for a semester then start a marine bio program in the Virgin Islands once the gig is over.
