Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Ben Lurkin']

She* needs the ''modern aesthetic'' so she can pretend to be a fashionable, GIRLBOSS influencer.

Amber has named two key requirements for this new living situation-type deal:

1. A One Bedroom Apartment, and
   
   
2. An Open Plan Layout

Voila...

Amber's "Ess-tet-tic" = One-Room / "Open Plan" Living Apartment​

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This layout offers maximum convenience...while requiring the MINIMUM in annoying movement!

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ETA: Hardwood floor and en suite washer/dryer...cuz', Hamber's not vacuumeen or leaveen.​

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No shower - how is she suppose to shit if she has nowhere to waffle stomp?

ETA 2: Okay, okay..."wafflestompeen station" (with influencer leaf window curtain) installed. Ur welcome.​

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

No shower - how is she suppose to shit if she has nowhere to waffle stomp?

 

[Ayygs and Layygs]

The 70s thru early 90s there weren't many deathfats walking around the US like there are now. Apartments weren't built to accommodate fatties and disabled people.

I think you've pointed to her reason for wanting new construction. She can't go see the place in person to make sure she can waddle through doorways and such, and she knows newer places have units like hers now that are semi accessible with wider doors and hallways. The "luxury" apartments with the aesthetic she's wanting weren't built with her in mind.

 

[Atrax_Morgue_Dat_Pussy]

Did I hear right, that she said she doesn't want to live in a place built in the 1990s? Are we supposed to crumple up and throw away buildings when they're over 10 years old? She needs a brand new everything because of??? That's one of the stupidest things I've heard her say, unless I misheard because I watch at 1.75x speed and can't be assed to give her my full attention.

It's just fat talk for wanting an apartment that can accommodate her fat ass.

The only things built to her size pre 2010 are hospitals and zoos.

No shower - how is she suppose to shit if she has nowhere to waffle stomp?

Install a drain in the center and you are good to go.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

I think you've pointed to her reason for wanting new construction. She can't go see the place in person to make sure she can waddle through doorways and such, and she knows newer places have units like hers now that are semi accessible with wider doors and hallways. The "luxury" apartments with the aesthetic she's wanting weren't built with her in mind.

I would give Amber a bit of slack in her choice of flats. A newly build is likely more in her style than anything else. Can you imagine her living in a chocolate box cottage or an older house with character? A newer build would have a lift if she is not on the ground floor and would have upgraded electrical and plumbing. Unfortunately, these flats are likely more expensive than older construction. She might even be able to rent a whole house for the same price. The house in Montecito was about what she is paying now I think.

 

[We're All Going To Hell 2]

A newer build would have a lift

Not necessarily. Where I live all the newer luxury apartments (2010+ which AL is looking for) have all been thrown up quickly. Like within a few months to build an entire complex. They're basically 3 levels high and built out of cheap materials.

I have yet to come across one with an elevator because only 3 floors. Now older yup Apts I've seen with elevators. Lmao take at your own risk elevators but AL would be super uncomfortable in them as well because 4 normal sized people is pretty full in there.

 

[maybe a pigeon]

She‘s trying to make it look like she wants new construction because of her mid-century modern HomeGoods girl boss aesthetic. It’s equally obvious that central air, handicap-accessibility, a walk-in shower, an open floor plan, and an in-unit washer/dryer are necessities, rather than luxuries. She can’t fit through standard doors or into a standard shower. And can you imagine her hurpling her way to a common-area laundry room? She who can’t reach the bottom of the washer to remove her clothes because her stomach gets in the way?

I listen to her natterings and amuse myself by imagining her in different decorating styles and aesthetics, like dark academia or cottage core. So far the funniest is Amber trying to make her famous chili in a 90s Tuscan kitchen, or maybe Farmhouselynn, where she gets guillotined by a barn door.

 

[Major Pain]

Just have the Amish build a nice barn for you, Amber.

 

[Surprised Pikachu]

It’s her new neighbours I feel sorry for. Modern buildings (esp the quick build apartment type deals) have *in my experience* poor noise insulation and we know what a squealing inconsiderate bitch she is, especially when her mentuls keep her awake until 4am. I hope the new buggers that get to share her space are fans of H3H3 and yappy dogs - and those noises are the least of what they’ll get to experience. #prayfornextdoor

 

[Bibbity Bobbity]

Amber has named two key requirements for this new living situation-type deal:

1. A One Bedroom Apartment, and
   
   
2. An Open Plan Layout

I was talking to an elderly relative about how no one cooks anymore. They said they KNEW because look at how they build houses now. Open plan, so you're eating in a room with dirty dishes visible all the time. You can't entertain that way either.

A new apartment building signifies other things: fast food and trendy, takeout friendly restaurants nearby. McDonald's is usually the first to show up in newly built areas, so our girl is taken care of. You can't get bigger appliances in older buildings either. So much for a giant fridge or washer.

 

[Vingle]

Farmhouselynn, where she gets guillotined by a barn door.

Idea for much cheaper weight loss surgery. Just guillotine off the fupa #freethefupa

 

[Boolean Bitch]

Just have the Amish build a nice barn for you, Amber.

Only problem with that is that the Amish will expect payment in the form of a large, well made group meal. None of them are going to be willing to raise a barn in exchange for that sewer soup of hers.

 

[HackerX]

Not necessarily. Where I live all the newer luxury apartments (2010+ which AL is looking for) have all been thrown up quickly. Like within a few months to build an entire complex. They're basically 3 levels high and built out of cheap materials.

I have yet to come across one with an elevator because only 3 floors. Now older yup Apts I've seen with elevators. Lmao take at your own risk elevators but AL would be super uncomfortable in them as well because 4 normal sized people is pretty full in there.

0% she's going to choose anywhere that's not on the ground-level. Most people will choose to if they have a choice, but she's got no choice lol.

 

[Salvador Dali]

first official weekly weigh in | you'll never believe this

Spoiler: August 22, 2023 Archive

 

[Kier Starmer]

Same weight btw, bitch is desperate for money.

Check out Amber trying to gather new Am babies, we know where this is going already. Amber has been fat the entirety of her existence. Wow, you lost like 14 lbs, for someone your size that is the norm. I still don't believe she is that weight because she is such a bad liar.

I think she is on low carb or carnivore, the bitch is copying Hungry Fat Chick guaranteed. The whole video is just word salad absolutely nontent. The bitch takes a series of large shits and is like "I am cured!" No Amber you are still the size of 4 150lb women.

 

[maybe a pigeon]

I agree she's probably low-carbing. Remember when Amber got all lip-trembly and voice-quavery when she recounted her meeting with the Lymphedema specialist? She was maintaining that it's almost impossible to lose weight, even when she "eats healthy." The Lymphedema specialist wanted her to go low-carb because it's the best way to get rid of all of her retained water. And of course Amber "I know my body better than the doctor" Reid didn't want to do that,

Fucking moron wasting everybody's time claiming it's so hard for her to lose weight, and then (If she is to be believed, which she isn't) drops 14 pounds in three or four days. Exactly as everyone predicted would happen if she started low-carbing.

I don't know who is more infuriating, her for being so irredeemably dense, or me for paying any attention to the so-called thoughts that emerge from that garbage disposal she calls a mouth.

 

[Point and Laugh]

I think ALR either is already, or will start taking Adderall soon. Back in the WLS fake out arc she said she was getting referred to a psychiatrist because her therapist didn’t handle that and she’d decided that was her latest crutch. I wouldn’t be shocked if she loses a few pounds and never mentions that she’s on speed. Guarantee that’s what she’s going to this newer doc for.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

Plot Summary with commentary. What's with all the uploads? Is she trying to save up for a cargo plane to ship her to Oklahoma? "You'll never believe this". You're right; I haven't even seen the video and I already know I'll never believe it. Alright, let's go!!

Spoiler: first official weekly weigh in | you'll never believe this

The archive doesn't even want to this... not a good start.

Official first Monday weigh-in of one week of getting back on track!

Amber talks about the 13th of August, and about how she needed to start being more productive, stop getting high, and start putting better food in her body (while uploading videos of herself eating takeout and frozen pre-made meatballs). It's like she's trying to act out this weird addiction-recovery after school story ... with her bullshit, made-up GUMMY addiction.

Amber hasn't felt this energized, this productive, this clear-minded ... (since two months ago during her last bullshit weightloss journey).

She's decided that she's not going to share what she's doing to lose weight, because Amber the strong and resiliant person can't handle the "strong opinions" made by randos on the internet (in the comments section that she claims to never read). The self-proclaimed tough and strong Amber admits that a few comments from trolls talking shit (again, the in the comments section that she claims to never read) is enough to mess with her brain - making Amber OFFICIALLY weaker than wet toilet paper.

I'll help the newbies who aren't sure what she's doing and really want to know. Amber is:
1) LYING about her weight loss (this is my personal guess), OR
2) Eating less than 4000 calories per day.

Okay, or 3) has a tapeworm the size of a python, but that's really gross and some folks here may have just eaten supper.

Weight on August 14th: 543.0lbs. Weight on August 21st: 528.4lbs. Down 14.6lbs, or ~ 2.69% of her total body weight. Or, to put it into numbers that are more recognizable: equivalent to a 130lb woman losing 3.5 lbs in their first week of a slight calorie reduction. Amber already warns her audience that moving forward, there will be no successes remotely close to this again. Don't worry; WE KNOW.

Amber's throwing everything out that she knows about weight loss - just like she says EVERY TIME she starts a new diet. Amber blames mental illness and addiction for her previous dieting actions.

"...If I'm being 100% honest..." ... which you never are. She's scared, because her "past self" (aka, her CURRENT SELF), would see the lower weight loss number in week 2 as a failure. Don't be so narrow-minded with yourself, Amber: we see EVERYTHING you do as a failure.

Amber's not allowing herself "sweet junk" on this diet, because it's "so triggering". Candy and sweet food soothes her like medicine. Her eating was the worst that it's been in YEARS AND YEARS.

Amber's wanted to mess up and go off her plan, but somehow struck through it for the ETERNITY OF 7 DAYS. Amber's still been getting takeout, because if she doesn't allow herself these things, she'll SPIRAL!! People just don't understand food addiction like Amber does.

She's "moving soon" - whatever "soon" means. Her babbling hints that shortly we'll be subjected to horribly out of date content because she'll be too busy to edit and upload on a reasonable schedule (when in reality it's just because she's lazy).

TL;DR: NONTENT. Amber is all up her own ass about losing 14.6lbs in a week, from 543 to 528.4lbs - which is the equivalent of a 130 lb woman losing 3.5lbs the first week of dieting. Amber spends the entire video parked on her shelf, saying the same things and making the same revelations that she's made at least 100 times before. Amber never moves from the couch for the entire video.

 

[Surprised Pikachu]

Okay I’ll bite: She’s doing meth.

Change my mind.

 

[the weeknd warrior]

If phentermine couldn't stop her from eating three large slices of pepperoni pizza that she doesn't even like, Adderall isn't making a dent in her food addiction. If anything it will augment the dopaminergic response and get her already broken neurotransmitter system to wire for even more food orgasms.