I hate women. They always want to touch my peepee, which is ONLY for peeing, but they think it's a toy or something.
Every time they do my peepee gets all swolen and leaks stuff. It's really annoying.
I got really scared and went to the doctor and asked him if it was an infection, because of the swelling and the white stuff that could be pus. The doctor just laughed at me and called me names. Very rude. He said that was perfectly normal, so I paid him $500 for the visit and went home.
I called my neighbor to come help me get the fluid out and she did. Then I tried to find a use for it. It looked kind of like milk, so I put it in a glass and drank it. It was awful. Not even Nesquick made it any better.
I thought maybe it's yogurt, so I put some fruit in it and ate it. Better, but still bad.
After a few hours of this my peepee (sorry for all the rude language) was really sore and barely making any more juice. It was broken. I could never pee again.
That's why I hate women.