Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[OtherLastTrainHome]

Luckily for Rick, nobody reads his books.

not even his agent(s), lmao.

i don't want to get her involved anymore in Fat Rick than she already has been, but i do wonder what Leslie would think of this crap.

 

[Uncle Buck]

not even his agent(s), lmao.

i don't want to get her involved anymore in Fat Rick than she already has been, but i do wonder what Leslie would think of this crap.

Or his editors, evidently......though I'm making an allowance for the possibility that it was Ooogabooga Dopey Artichokenose who was the editor, in which case failure to grasp the relatively simple concept of the plane of the ecliptic while editing a work of science-fiction involving space travel is sort of understandable.

 

[Maude Snew]

Or his editors, evidently......though I'm making an allowance for the possibility that it was Ooogabooga Dopey Artichokenose who was the editor, in which case failure to grasp the relatively simple concept of the plane of the ecliptic while editing a work of science-fiction involving space travel is sort of understandable.

I distinctly seem to remember it being mentioned that his editor was dyslexic or something along those lines. They really brought their A-Team for big fat earner some asshole from Milwaukee.

 

[OtherLastTrainHome]

Or his editors, evidently......though I'm making an allowance for the possibility that it was Ooogabooga Dopey Artichokenose who was the editor, in which case failure to grasp the relatively simple concept of the plane of the ecliptic while editing a work of science-fiction involving space travel is sort of understandable.

lmfao. i opened it up myself. this is on page 22, by the way. very early mistake to not be caught.

there's something else i want to bring up since other books got mentioned. there's a mini review by a "Max Gladstone" on some of his book covers and it's copy pasted, even when it has nothing to do with the content in question. both Starship Repo and In The Black have this review on them and only one of them (Starship Repo) is part of his Gate Crashers series. i don't think this was a fuck-up at all, just manipulative marketing.

 

[kcbbq]

I've also read if you cut a planarian in half, when they regenerate into two planarians, both of them have the same memories.

Hammerhead worms, which are planaria that can grow to be a foot long, can regenerate into a whole bunch of copies. They're invasive over a big chunk of the US and coat themselves in the same neurotoxin that pufferfish generate. You're not supposed to smash them because then you get lots more, you have to pretty much incinerate them.

Some planarians can actually be scary, unlike Pat who can just be fat and offputting.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

I'm broke as shit. Anybody got Porsalin's Pay Quasi videos somewhere?

 

[OtherLastTrainHome]

onapest hits it out of the park again.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Imagine. You are a Wisconsinite looking for insurance. You call around to different agencies.

Patrick S. Tomlinson answers the phone.

"Hi, I'd like to ask about your insurance plans-"
"You have been instructed, many thousands of times, to cease contacting this number. You are comitting felony telephone shopping. Enjoy prison, stalker."

 

[Smithfield Ham]

I think I'm mostly surprised that he isn't a NEET living off welfare. The reality of Pat being employed and not getting fired for being an insufferable cunt is stranger than any shitty fiction he could write.

It was good enough for JK "Terf Queen" Rowling. Though if she used all her new free time to argue with people on the internet and make template messages to spam at them, she probably wouldn't have gotten much writing done either.

 

[JJLiautaud]

there's something else i want to bring up since other books got mentioned. there's a mini review by a "Max Gladstone" on some of his book covers and it's copy pasted, even when it has nothing to do with the content in question. both Starship Repo and In The Black have this review on them and only one of them (Starship Repo) is part of his Gate Crashers series. i don't think this was a fuck-up at all, just manipulative marketing.

Using a copy pasted reviews is fairly common, and not just for hacks, Terry Pratchett's soft covers, for example, frequently have the same review printed on them.
Edit: Examples:

 

[Uncle Buck]

there's something else i want to bring up since other books got mentioned. there's a mini review by a "Max Gladstone" on some of his book covers and it's copy pasted, even when it has nothing to do with the content in question. both Starship Repo and In The Black have this review on them and only one of them (Starship Repo) is part of his Gate Crashers series. i don't think this was a fuck-up at all, just manipulative marketing.

It's basic shill marketing... I question whether Max Gladstone, whose reviews alone dwarf fatboy's total sales, actually read either of those embarrassing examples of so-called science fiction.

But all those people pointing out how much of an idiot he was for not understanding what the plane of the ecliptic was and how it was something completely different from being eclectic and that "Firstname Lastname" and "Fonald Plumpf" were really dumb ideas for sci-fi characters were somehow committing actionable "defamation" because they also thought he was fat, had bitch tits and was nothing more than a wannabe Morton Downey Jr.

Come to think of it I suspect his idol is actually Hal Turner, but Hal was not only somewhat successful, had a [relatively small and stupid] following and was an FBI informant [and, therefore, kind of important].

 

[MilkThePig]

I've been thinking about pig's predicament and I think it really would be beneficial for him to troon out at this point. I mean think about it - he's already got a unisex name, he's already got tits so no need for top surgery and his 2 inch nub would be no problem to remove and have an axe wound created.

If he became Patricia, he might actually get some of the victim status/attention he so desperately craves. As a white, middle-aged, fat man it's just never going to happen.

 

[Dean Pentel]

Niki doesn't strike me as FAS, she just seems horribly boring and painfully unremarkable,

I'm really just talking about her physiognomy

And if you are in court for a public court hearing, the bailiff has to arrest anyone IMMEDIATELY who you don't like. So they can start enjoying prison.

Did we hypothesize about why the whole "enjoy prison" thing became a staple comeback for him? I suspect that's him being obscenely obese projecting. He knows with his floppy fat tits, his pathological willingness to suck cock, and that very gay lisp that he'd get a lot of attention in prison. All that and the fact that plenty of inmates have cell phones so he can still "child" people on social media, he'd very much enjoy prison.

A guy in his 40's should be able to float that amount himself, maybe not ready cash laying around but credit, a secured loan, something, without having to grovel to your fucking relatives.

I can understand the logical path you're taking here, but do remember this is Pigrick Tomlinson we're talking about here. His food and alcohol expenditures alone could comfortably support the families of several of his pepperoni ingredients for a year.

 

[Troon_Patrol]

There are two incidents I'm searching for but, cannot find the full story on;

Did pat actually shit his pants and get caught on the jumbotron at a brewers game?

Whats the story about Niki taking a fart to vag from some black guy?

 

[Second Missing Primarch]

From Benson's description I judge her to be a minor and dislike the flowery exposition on her appearance. Frankly, it's grossly out of place for the narrator to show this much interest - if you wanted to sleaze it up even harder, having a tertiary character here alongside Benson actually SAYING those things and establishing himself as a total scumbag would have been the smart choice.

Not only is the description of this girl horribly creepy and kinda racist, it also doesn't make sense. This kid is part of a marginalized group of outcasts and lives in a dark, dank, neglected part of the ship that's being held together with spit and glue, yet she has a formfitting dress, perfect skin, only a little bit of dirt on her hands and knees, and somehow smells like apple blossoms. Realistically speaking, she should be as skinny and unhealthy-looking as the others given their diet of mushrooms and whatever they can score from the perverts who come down to buy their kids, covered in grease and dirt from crawling around in the bowels of the ship, and generally look and smell kinda gross and urchin-y. In other words, she should only look good to the kind of desperate chomo who would be sneaking into the guts of the ship to buy sex from a minor in the first place. Now, it's possible to argue that the Unbound would try to keep her and the other girls they're prostituting cleaner and better fed because they're more appealing to the johns that way, but even then I still doubt she'd look like the perfect little geisha doll Pat describes. He was very obviously thinking with his dick when he wrote this part and it's both gross and stupid.

 

[Broadside]

Soooo.... is A Christmas Carnage off the tables?
How many books has Pat abandoned in favour of record correcTing? Remember this one?

 

[Maude Snew]

Soooo.... is A Christmas Carnage off the tables?
How many books has Pat abandoned in favour of record correcTing? Remember this one?
View attachment 5300610

Nobody needs this take since we have the superior version anyway

 

[McMitch]

Soooo.... is A Christmas Carnage off the tables?
How many books has Pat abandoned in favour of record correcTing? Remember this one?
View attachment 5300610

Any author that refers to their work as a “sub-genre” is a hack. Anyone who has to acronym the name of their sub-genre is a colossal faggot.

 

[Broadside]

Any author that refers to their work as a “sub-genre” is a hack. Anyone who has to acronym the name of their sub-genre is a colossal faggot.

Mil-spec? I'm assuming this means speculative military? If so, what has Pat speculated in his novels that was actually decent and original?

 

[Dim Glownigger]

Mil-spec? I'm assuming this means speculative military? If so, what has Pat speculated in his novels that was actually decent and original?

I've only ever seen that term refer to "military specification," something made for military use. Maybe that's where all of pat's book sales go; to US military psych warfare groups.