Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
Omg I was right about the wine. He litterly just shook the jug up and mixed all the yeast around. He didnt let the "lee"s die and settle to the bottom and then siphon the (what should be fairly clear now) liquid from the top. The absolute mad man did it. I cannot imagin how foul this must taste.

"Taste more like beer than wine" I fucking called this too. He used instant rise baking yeast. Its going to taste like bread and skunky beer.

I don't understand his logic by shaking up the wine then adding it to a clean bottle before immediately drinking. The wine is already contaminated by God knows what.
 
Been holding out on posting about the wine since much has already been covered by others, @SpiceyHuman in particular, but Cobes is fucking up so much of this that I just have to say something.

The biggest issue is the general lack of cleanliness or any hygienic practices. I didn't expect anything at all, but then I saw him using his manimal monkey paws to pour sugar into the juice instead of a funnel and knew I was in for a treat. Heck, he could just use a piece of rolled up paper to DIY a funnel, but he instead decided to use his unwashed, filthy hands. He then goes on to sip the 'wine', likely at least twice a day. While yeast is generally able to colonize whatever mix one might be using for their wine, as pointed out by others, quick rise yeast isn't exactly the best choice here and it can potentially be out-competed by more aggressive strains, some of which I'm certain can be found in his disgusting mouth. Mild contamination, while best avoided, generally isn't a life or death issue in wines, but some can produce enough toxic products to make one sick. God help this retard and anyone who ends up treating him if he manages to poison himself.

Another thing to note is that not all wines are made the same way and some may require mixing and exposure to oxygen for a couple days to aid in proper yeast colonization and the addition of a yeast nutrient to ensure fermentation goes to completion, this latter point being particularly important for any sort of filtered or pasteurized juices, such as the mango whatever the fuck mix Cobes was using. The most likely reason that fermentation stopped after just one week is the yeast simply ran out of nutrients/oxygen, only getting the final alcohol percentage to about 2%, maybe 3% if I'm being generous. Dude's drinking vinegar, dead yeast, and spoiled fruit juice with a bit of sugar mixed in. Yum.

I don't spend much time keeping track of Cobes over other cows, but this prison wine arc really made it sink in how he cannot put a plan together or budget anything at all. He could really save a lot of money if he actually got good at making his own wine, but he'd rather overdraw his account making $50+ doordash orders of slop every day instead of putting aside $10-20 for an airlock, funnel and a decent siphon, maybe even a carboy. I know it's a long shot, but I'd love to see him try to distill some moonshine one day.

Never change, you wacky, boglim tard.
 
Screenshot_20230905_150916.jpg
igovkbvqfhmb1.png
Teeth not long for this world toobz
 
Last edited:
I wonder if it was the overdraft fees. How it works in most banks is you get hit with an overdraft fee (30 dollars, legal limit so its always 30 dollars) for every transaction in the red. With how often he was in the red in August maybe they all hit him at the end of the month.
 
I wonder if it was the overdraft fees. How it works in most banks is you get hit with an overdraft fee (30 dollars, legal limit so its always 30 dollars) for every transaction in the red. With how often he was in the red in August maybe they all hit him at the end of the month.
I think PayPal might be costing him a bit too. PayPal Merchant (which is what he has) takes $0.49 + 1.5% off each 'donashun'. It is entirely possible that people are donating less than that and his account is getting whittled down by fees from them as well.
 
Cobra went live.

1. He drank all his "wine"
2. He is $765 in the hole
3. Only went live for an hour because he wants to finish his album by halloween. Does he know it's September?

That was pretty much it. Boring e-begging.
Since he didn't drink it on camera I'm assuming it wasn't alcoholic at all and was basically vinegar, also I thought banks usually only let you go negative to a certain limit?
 
2. He is $765 in the hole
Honestly, when will Cobes just decide to debtmax and stop caring about how far he goes in the hole? It's obvious he is getting further and further into the negative every time and it's not like Clint will do shit about it. Why stop at $800 in the negative? Why not $80,000 in the negative? The real "winning the lottery" was in embracing the debt all along
 
Back