Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

One week it's "hippie psychiatrist and rodeo clown", the next week it's "oil sales rep and vintage car upholstery". When I was younger I learned people who lack any accomplishments will live through their parents and even consider their parents accomplishments things that qualify them as experts in things they know barely anything at all about. Chris Chan did the exact same thing, he took credit for his fathers engineering and patents and lied quite a bit about his father's accomplishments at that. Patrick ended up in the hospital trying to do what his father did, and somehow his father selling motor oil qualifies him as some kind of car expert? I'm never surprised by Patrick failing at life and claiming hes an expert about things he either just googled or just made up (like the tank/paint thing).
 
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No underwear... only 1 millimeter of fabric protects the world from his herpes sored one incher
 
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I imagine it sounded brilliant in his head as a categorical takedown.

“Well, for your information…Stalker, to entertain the inquiries that coalesce from your unsatisfied base urges, not only have I not, to explicate your vulgar parlance, had intercourse with individuals in the category of those who are not my wife, I have not had intercourse with my wife, nor would I ever have intercourse with my wife. The distance between your statement and reality, dear, disappointing Stalker, is dwarfed only by the Euclidean gulf between my phallus and all intercourseable individuals, human or otherwise, from the day of my birth unto all perpetuity.

These plebian ruminations tax your meager faculties, Child. Mayhaps envision prison instead."

I'm halfway through his book and I can't believe it's written by the same person.
 
"I don't wear underwear, it don't need it, stalker." What kind of brag is that? What, in his mind, makes it a flex to not wear underwear? How does he believe that this sets him apart from others in a positive way? How does he think that this makes him better than others? Why is he so goddamn fat?
i truly wish to believe that patrick just made a huge error in pecking out that response on his phone and that he does wear underwear, but if by some insane twist he doesn't it wouldn't surprise me. people with poor hygiene are typically very mentally ill. it's also par for the course with particularly bad cases of narcissism because choosing to be unkempt around others is a power play. you're forcing them to put up with your stink; bad personal hygiene sends signals to other people.

hollywood celebrities are notorious for their own hygiene problems. this is an archive.org link talking about it, because the original article was deleted. makes you think, doesn't it?

here are some choice quotes from the article.

In fact, she [Julie Roberts] rarely smells quite so fresh because she apparently only showers every few days. That’s mainly because Julia likes to be eco-friendly, so she aims to avoid wasting water wherever possible. She reportedly believes that they’re [antiperspirants] the real issue because they hold the smell in, rather than letting it out.
He [Robert Pattinson] told Extra that he didn’t see the point in cleaning his hair, and that the rumors of him not shampooing in six weeks were probably true. In his eyes, there was no point in going to so much effort when he didn’t care about being clean. Unfortunately, it seems that the people he worked with had a different point of view, with MTV News revealing that some crew members didn’t love his poor hygiene.

let's keep in mind that humans are also animals. what do primitive animals do when, say, marking their territory? if you have no contact with anyone, you can be as dirty as you want, but there are tons of people out there who force others to endure their rank presence as a sign of power - no different from animals marking territory with bodily excretions. Mao Zedong never bathed - 50 years, not a single shower. Stalin and Hitler both stank to the lowest of Hells too. on top of being irreversibly addicted to drugs, Hitler's body odor was reportedly so tremendously horrible that it was authentically painful to be in the same room if the doors and windows were shut.
 
Eventually the law of averages dictates that Patrick must get a win at some point in life, right? I realize his incompetence and sheer unlikeability don't aid his efforts in any way, but damn.

This unfortunate schmuck's life is a never-ending series of embarrassments and defeats.
Pat is the greatest living proof of karma as a system of logic, or Null's theory that when you act like an arrogant asshole the universe will contort itself to fuck your shit up. I've never in my entire life seen a man with as much hubris as Pat. Even the boss hog himself, Ethan Ralph, has had moments of candid vulnerability where he acknowledges his life is a disaster but he's too fucked up to care, but Pat can't even do that.

Even when Pat talks about losing (i.e. abandoning) his daughter, an experience almost anyone would be sympathetic too, he does it in such a violent, sociopathic way that any empathy instantly evaporates and even a non-Patposter understands the real reason his daughter is no longer part of his life. There is not a single problem in Pat's life that has not been caused by him, and all his problems would stop tomorrow if he'd just shut the fuck up for once in his fat life.

TL;DR Pat will continue to catch Ls hard and fast for the rest of his life, because he will never, ever learn to turn the other (fat) cheek. As Thom Yorke said...you do it to yourself, and that's what really hurts.
 
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