Cuntspiracy Man
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2021
im not gonna elaborate, we all know why this statement is retarded
sit and stew in it, glowbro
Off-Topic Deathfat Encounters IRL - This thread is not your personal army.
- Thread starter 12FluidOunces
- Start date
sit and stew in it, glowbro
FarmVille
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2021
There is a world of stupid in this comment.
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2022
once I saw a person, so big and fat, I laffed.
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2020
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- Joined
- Jun 12, 2021
This is an old encounter but I saw the thread and it reminded me. When I was overseas working in america, I worked with a decently attractive woman who was married to a literal deathfat. The man was so fat that he couldn't leave the house. He operated a business out of his home, well his bed, and he made decent money which is the only reason I can think this woman stayed with him for so long. She was thin, young, intelligent, and attractive - a solid 8/10. She would constantly tell me about how he would frequently order 3-400$ USD of takeout and eat all of it.. Italian food so heavy starches and cheese like manicotti (sp?), stuffed shells, ravioli, pizza etc. He got that surgery that reduced the amount he could eat, so when he would get full he would then barf into a bucket next to his bed, and then eat some more. She eventually met a man on xbox from the UK and finally left her deathfat husband for this Bri'sh man.
Dnein
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2021
Yeah, saw someone pull this off. They basically freaked out on ozempic because they weren't as hungry and ate more to compensate.
They were rattling on that they didn't want their normal indulgences as much, acting like it was a huge problem or like they were seriously sick. If they didn't enjoy gorging, it just was "wrong". ended with ozempic in the garbage can after a few months. This beast puts away 2k calories in one meal, calls it light, and keep going all day, so hearing them go on about "I don't know how I'm fat" is hilarious, especially after that shit.
They can't blame satiety signals when satiation isn't the problem, this isn't even comparable to things like prader-willi or even "hormones making me hungry". they choose to go beyond stomach limits and stop signals and biological signals to consume more for pleasure and ego, that's it. I was just amazed at how un-subtle it was during their ozempic crisis.
Imagine if a drug addict had an injection that made them suddenly not want the drugs as much, but they just decided they'd rather be addicted. After all, it's unhealthy to not be shooting up 3 times a day, and they really ENJOYED it. It is unsettling to watch.
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2014
Call him Nurgle and report back.There's this guy that lives in my building that's the worst kind of deathfat: the Unwashed. He stinks like a bulldog that got left under the porch during a rain storm. It's a very specific thing and if you've ever smelled it, you know what I mean. I'm about at the point of putting up fliers in the elevators because you can smell the greedy fuck well after he's got off the elevator. If I'm feeling altruistic, I might just make him a care package of soaps and a rag on a stick along with a strongly worded letter to leave on his doorstep.
Total Jigglenigger Death
RunRufusRun
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2018
Had a Deathfat neighbor pass recently.
Was told the last 5 years all he did was sit in his custom made recliner and watch tv. Dude was 6 foot or but at least 500.
The oversized gurney needed to move him out of the house wouldnt fit through the front door.
The techs had to take out a sliding glass door on the back half of the home.
Not thinking about coming aropund the home in the grass. It had rained and they bogged down with lardass.
Was out getting my mail. Heard noise and looked over and 6 people pushing and pulling and it wasn't moving.
Was told the last 5 years all he did was sit in his custom made recliner and watch tv. Dude was 6 foot or but at least 500.
The oversized gurney needed to move him out of the house wouldnt fit through the front door.
The techs had to take out a sliding glass door on the back half of the home.
Not thinking about coming aropund the home in the grass. It had rained and they bogged down with lardass.
Was out getting my mail. Heard noise and looked over and 6 people pushing and pulling and it wasn't moving.
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2020
I have a pretty good one.
TL;DR I nearly killed a deathfat by sitting him in a chair and all I got for my efforts was a black eye.
I work in a hospital and we recently had a guy around 6' 4" and maybe a solid five-hundo visiting a young loved one, and to say he was been unpleasant during the duration of the stay was an understatement. Rude, stinky, constantly bringing in every strongly scented takeout you can imagine. He smelled like a combo of pizza grease, urine, BO, and metabolizing alcohol.
Everything was a fight and complaint, and as the week progressed, I'd scan through the notes, and you'd see a sprinkling of irritation as he refused education and generally caused problems. It finally culminated when I happened to be walking around and he was yelling at a female staff member and I ducked my head in the room to see he is between her and the door.
I stepped in, tapped him on the shoulder, and asked him if he would talk to me outside the room for a minute. I looked at the female staff member as I was saying this and, boom, he punches me in the eye.
I helped him sit down and asked the staff member to call the police. My fellow kiwis, I swear all I did was hold him in place for a couple minutes and he starts screaming bloody murder that he's being beaten up, heelllllp. His knee! His back! His neck! (I'll stop for the sensitive constitutions among us.) I have never been in a fight in my life, and I am not old, but I'm too old to start.
The police ask me to hang around at the nurses' station for a minute, and first go to escort him out, and he announces he can't walk because he was injured. They help him get up and he crumbles to the floor. Medical has to get called as he uselessly scoots on his side across the floor, crying. Tears roll down his cheeks and everyone is too mortified to do anything as he tries to crawl-slither to the door going, "AW-ugh! Aw-UGH!". The emergency response team gets there, a long with a few of our behavioral health aides and even they look bewildered. It took six guys including myself to get him still fighting on the stretcher.
Everything was a fight and complaint, and as the week progressed, I'd scan through the notes, and you'd see a sprinkling of irritation as he refused education and generally caused problems. It finally culminated when I happened to be walking around and he was yelling at a female staff member and I ducked my head in the room to see he is between her and the door.
I stepped in, tapped him on the shoulder, and asked him if he would talk to me outside the room for a minute. I looked at the female staff member as I was saying this and, boom, he punches me in the eye.
I helped him sit down and asked the staff member to call the police. My fellow kiwis, I swear all I did was hold him in place for a couple minutes and he starts screaming bloody murder that he's being beaten up, heelllllp. His knee! His back! His neck! (I'll stop for the sensitive constitutions among us.) I have never been in a fight in my life, and I am not old, but I'm too old to start.
The police ask me to hang around at the nurses' station for a minute, and first go to escort him out, and he announces he can't walk because he was injured. They help him get up and he crumbles to the floor. Medical has to get called as he uselessly scoots on his side across the floor, crying. Tears roll down his cheeks and everyone is too mortified to do anything as he tries to crawl-slither to the door going, "AW-ugh! Aw-UGH!". The emergency response team gets there, a long with a few of our behavioral health aides and even they look bewildered. It took six guys including myself to get him still fighting on the stretcher.
TL;DR I nearly killed a deathfat by sitting him in a chair and all I got for my efforts was a black eye.
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2013
For a while it was pretty damn rare for me to come across a true deathfat because my area is populated by mostly bougie people and filled with a lot of accessible hiking trails and beaches and other fun shit, but we do attract a lot of tourists especially from the inland areas during the summer. As some have put it, "The whales come in from the valley".
My current job especially brings in a lot of tourists and is a super small storefront, it takes only 10 average sized people for the place to be packed so if you're already fat you're going to look absolutly massive in comparison. You could probably fit 5 Anna O' Brians in there if you buttered her up enough, but like hell could she get back out. I'm actually pretty sure that Anna wouldn't be able to get from one end of the store to the other without turning to the side and squeezing past the center display and I don't see her doing *that* without her thunderous hips knocking shit all over the floor.
I lowkey dread the day we get a HAES type person waddling in and getting upset at how fatphobic the building design is, before waddling to the cookie dough shop across the way that could fit only TWO Annas at best.
Thankfully no one corpulent as they may be has been unpleasent to wait on, or has smelled bad. To be fair, the shop is right by the beach so everything smells like dead fish and low tide. What smells like bad cootchie is probably just the local fishermen hawking their wares. International tourists are always very slim and healthy, so it's an interesting contrast.
I did see a family come in the other day where I deadass thought one of them was a midget at first based on her propotions. She was just a really chunky, bottom heavy little kid, poor girl!
My current job especially brings in a lot of tourists and is a super small storefront, it takes only 10 average sized people for the place to be packed so if you're already fat you're going to look absolutly massive in comparison. You could probably fit 5 Anna O' Brians in there if you buttered her up enough, but like hell could she get back out. I'm actually pretty sure that Anna wouldn't be able to get from one end of the store to the other without turning to the side and squeezing past the center display and I don't see her doing *that* without her thunderous hips knocking shit all over the floor.
I lowkey dread the day we get a HAES type person waddling in and getting upset at how fatphobic the building design is, before waddling to the cookie dough shop across the way that could fit only TWO Annas at best.
Thankfully no one corpulent as they may be has been unpleasent to wait on, or has smelled bad. To be fair, the shop is right by the beach so everything smells like dead fish and low tide. What smells like bad cootchie is probably just the local fishermen hawking their wares. International tourists are always very slim and healthy, so it's an interesting contrast.
I did see a family come in the other day where I deadass thought one of them was a midget at first based on her propotions. She was just a really chunky, bottom heavy little kid, poor girl!
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2021
No worries. If you're fat enough to need a GLP-1 agonist, you almost certainly have some degree of metabolic syndrome and would probably benefit from better blood glucose control. I think most people vastly overestimate the BMI at which adverse metabolic effects become a concern. Even being "a little overweight" is bad for you in myriad ways.
I actually think you're correct, and although I really have no interest in making a foray into this argument, I'm on your side here. However, you might want to look this one up before you list it as an example of a wonder drug. It turns out that lipids, including cholesterol, are actually critical for many cellular functions, not all of which are well characterized. Statins as a class have garnered controversy for this reason, and their off-target effect profile is really interesting from a scientific standpoint.
Not going to get too specific, but I know multiple lipid biochemists who have turned down a prescription for statins.
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- Joined
- Nov 9, 2018
Small update on my deathfat neighbor:
She appears to be mostly incontinent by now and has regular toddler tantrums where she starts to impotently screech and flail her monstrous limbs, based on what I am forced to hear through the wall.
She has also started to yell at autism boyfriend a lot. It's like a trashy downhill spiral, and I'm curious if/when they're gonna break up or cart her to some assisted living facility.
I won't miss her.
She appears to be mostly incontinent by now and has regular toddler tantrums where she starts to impotently screech and flail her monstrous limbs, based on what I am forced to hear through the wall.
She has also started to yell at autism boyfriend a lot. It's like a trashy downhill spiral, and I'm curious if/when they're gonna break up or cart her to some assisted living facility.
I won't miss her.
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2020
Lipitor is the next hot lawsuit drug and you can't tell me the weird cough it causes is a good sign.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
Where did you learn that?
Some of my family members take Lipitor, I want to pass this on to them.
RunRufusRun
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2018
As I was getting out of my vehicle saw a mini van loaded down pull into a handicap spot a few spaces up.
Out got 3 of the biggest people I have seen in awhile. The van looked like a lowrider when they were in. And they got out and now it looked like a monster truck.
As i walked by I noticed no handicap tag,no handicap placard hanging from the rearview.
On the inside saw the father,guessing here,of the group yelling at some nearby cashier. Because there was only 1 working scooter in the store. Dude was pissed "Imma calling the cops andd ACLU ON YOU HATERS!"
Out got 3 of the biggest people I have seen in awhile. The van looked like a lowrider when they were in. And they got out and now it looked like a monster truck.
As i walked by I noticed no handicap tag,no handicap placard hanging from the rearview.
On the inside saw the father,guessing here,of the group yelling at some nearby cashier. Because there was only 1 working scooter in the store. Dude was pissed "Imma calling the cops andd ACLU ON YOU HATERS!"
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2020
Lipitor with the cough? It's just a really weird side effect I heard of that an EMT told me back about forever ago back when I was listening to a person cough and didn't know why. I've seen it a number of times, and patients always get this annoying dry cough. It messes with sleep and causes a variety of problems.
There's no pulmonary involvement, but it is common and disturbing. It can also cause tachycardia and some cardiac issues.
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2020
I have a story, but I need promises in advance I will not be made fun of. 
I am half kidding.
I am half kidding.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
I think you're on the wrong site.I have a story, but I need promises in advance I will not be made fun of.
I am half kidding.
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2020
Fine, I'll tell the story, but if I kill myself because of internet bullying and you get doxxed, be prepared to deal with a hysterical person who blames you for my oversensitivity. You were warned.
My wife and I were sitting on the couch in (she in her normal human clothing, I in my ancient college underwear) watching podcasts, awaiting further orders.
She looks out the window and says, "Someone is in the backyard." Something that looks like a balding large apple sized head with a special needs haircut lumbers off the porch through the alley toward the front gate... and it appears to be riding on top of a billowy blue circus tent. This was a pretty big and weird contraption for real life. People don't wear house dresses like that in real life and I want to emphasize how much it looked like a shrunken head riding a circus tent. And when some Stranger Things looking beast shows up after your loved ones, logic flies out the window. Keep in mind, no ring or knock at the door, so I'm coming in hot.
I leap into action and get a souvenir baseball bat because the Merge has finally come and the Beetlejuice universe has opened a portal, and wouldn't you know it that I have to deal with this? But I'm ready. Let's go, local sports team!
Still in my underwear, I tell my wife not to call 911 yet. What do you think is the first thing that she did as soon as I sprinted with the would-be murder weapon? Like an ogre about to gut the fattest hobbit, I steady my bat and am getting ready to smash as I hear huffing and puffing at the gate. And this is a small back yard. And I didn't hurry that much because I stopped to lock the door and weigh options on murder weapons.
I realize at this point this poor very fat grandma might be less than A&Ox3. She is fully dressed with her makeup and purse in what looks like a house dress. And I, the murderous underwear ogre, have rushed out to kill her with my $45 souvenir bat. I am so obviously the bad guy.
"What are you doing?" I shout, bat looming over her rotten sped apple head, but also pointing helpfully to the exit with the other hand. At this point, my wife comes out sobbing I've been shot. (I later found out the bat tipped too far back and rattled against a drain pipe, and this sounds like a gunshot to Old Leftie.) "No!" I shout. "I am not shot. Hang up the phone and go back in! Everything is fine!"
Grandma Deathfat decides in this moment to criticize me as a person. "Why are you so mean?" I tell her to shut up before I kill her with the bat and GET OFF MY LAWN.
"SHOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"
I yell at Grandma Deathfat for moving too slowly because I am embarrassed and don't know what else to say. I tell them again I am not shot and now I'm just screaming in a good neighborhood wildly about guns, so this is going well.
Grandma Deathfat quips again, "What is wrong with you?" She is halfway through her 100 yard sprint. It feels like this has been days. And I thought she might stroke out on the spot as I mercilessly drove her forward, but I cared not.
"SHOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" my wife is carrying on as I pray the phone from her sweet stupid fingers. I then have to persuade the 911 lady that no, no one is shot or had a gun. She asks for my phone number.
I get a call later from a deputy, who I have to tell about this whole ordeal. I ask him if he is recording this because I get strangely self-conscious while retelling the story and hate the thought of being laughed at for being an idiot. There is a brief silence... and a no. I suggest I may have overreacted by acting like a monster raiding her village and perhaps she was a confused old lady and she may be lost. For some reason he giggles... and apologizes. He asks for a description once more and says he'll patrol the area. He wishes me a nice day and hangs up.
I think she may have been visiting our plump and similar looking neighbor and made a mistake. My wife has forbid me from apologizing after I wrote an apology letter for trying to kill the fat old lady. I went out the front door to head her off because before I assessed the situation, I thought surprising her would make her easier to maim more severely with the souvenir bat. I have to seriously consider whether or not I am a good person.
She looks out the window and says, "Someone is in the backyard." Something that looks like a balding large apple sized head with a special needs haircut lumbers off the porch through the alley toward the front gate... and it appears to be riding on top of a billowy blue circus tent. This was a pretty big and weird contraption for real life. People don't wear house dresses like that in real life and I want to emphasize how much it looked like a shrunken head riding a circus tent. And when some Stranger Things looking beast shows up after your loved ones, logic flies out the window. Keep in mind, no ring or knock at the door, so I'm coming in hot.
I leap into action and get a souvenir baseball bat because the Merge has finally come and the Beetlejuice universe has opened a portal, and wouldn't you know it that I have to deal with this? But I'm ready. Let's go, local sports team!
Still in my underwear, I tell my wife not to call 911 yet. What do you think is the first thing that she did as soon as I sprinted with the would-be murder weapon? Like an ogre about to gut the fattest hobbit, I steady my bat and am getting ready to smash as I hear huffing and puffing at the gate. And this is a small back yard. And I didn't hurry that much because I stopped to lock the door and weigh options on murder weapons.
I realize at this point this poor very fat grandma might be less than A&Ox3. She is fully dressed with her makeup and purse in what looks like a house dress. And I, the murderous underwear ogre, have rushed out to kill her with my $45 souvenir bat. I am so obviously the bad guy.
"What are you doing?" I shout, bat looming over her rotten sped apple head, but also pointing helpfully to the exit with the other hand. At this point, my wife comes out sobbing I've been shot. (I later found out the bat tipped too far back and rattled against a drain pipe, and this sounds like a gunshot to Old Leftie.) "No!" I shout. "I am not shot. Hang up the phone and go back in! Everything is fine!"
Grandma Deathfat decides in this moment to criticize me as a person. "Why are you so mean?" I tell her to shut up before I kill her with the bat and GET OFF MY LAWN.
"SHOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"
I yell at Grandma Deathfat for moving too slowly because I am embarrassed and don't know what else to say. I tell them again I am not shot and now I'm just screaming in a good neighborhood wildly about guns, so this is going well.
Grandma Deathfat quips again, "What is wrong with you?" She is halfway through her 100 yard sprint. It feels like this has been days. And I thought she might stroke out on the spot as I mercilessly drove her forward, but I cared not.
"SHOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" my wife is carrying on as I pray the phone from her sweet stupid fingers. I then have to persuade the 911 lady that no, no one is shot or had a gun. She asks for my phone number.
I get a call later from a deputy, who I have to tell about this whole ordeal. I ask him if he is recording this because I get strangely self-conscious while retelling the story and hate the thought of being laughed at for being an idiot. There is a brief silence... and a no. I suggest I may have overreacted by acting like a monster raiding her village and perhaps she was a confused old lady and she may be lost. For some reason he giggles... and apologizes. He asks for a description once more and says he'll patrol the area. He wishes me a nice day and hangs up.
I think she may have been visiting our plump and similar looking neighbor and made a mistake. My wife has forbid me from apologizing after I wrote an apology letter for trying to kill the fat old lady. I went out the front door to head her off because before I assessed the situation, I thought surprising her would make her easier to maim more severely with the souvenir bat. I have to seriously consider whether or not I am a good person.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021