Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[McMitch]

Expert Pat is back. First, on striking:

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Wait, wasn't Patrick making posts about being a scab a few weeks ago?

 

[AnOminous]

Wait, wasn't Patrick making posts about being a scab a few weeks ago?

Scabs should be curbstomped to death.

 

[Orange Rhymer]

lol pats first aid flex. I remember my cringiest lie from being like 11 years old and chatting on AIM. I told this dude I once did a keg stand from a keg filled with orange juice to impress him in my infinite wisdom of the world at the time. This tweet reminded me of that lol. He can’t just be a little versed in first aid, he’s gotta make sure nobody else can one up him. The insecurity really is impressive, the way it drives him to lie about the weirdest shit. I guess some guys get blessed with a nice fawkin piece and some guys sew legs on with basketball needles and condescendingly tell women on Twitter who are just trying to help spread a little awareness.

Not pictured: the woman being so impressed by this display of manliness that she begged pat to come fuck her right then.
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Remember Fatrick - EVERY tweet is either directly about you, or requires your (imagined) life experience.

Please tell me Fatrick was being ironic.
Who the fuck would believe a word he ever said - after that?

 

[Procrastinhater]

Sorry for the double post I couldn’t edit a quote into my last one. But when they bitch about books being banned in schools, remember this is what those books look like. A grown childless man is demanding that our kids get to see this shit:
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Someone gave one of my kids that filth I'd beat the shit out of them, take their shoes, and leave them stranded in the middle of the fucking woods miles from anywhere.
That's fucking groomer pedo shit and anyone pushing that on kids should be fed to feral hogs.

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

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Begging for war isn't new with this pig. Hey Patrick, you should seriously consider suicide. It's very popular among men your age who've lost everything like you have. I feel the world would be a better place with one less dog barking for a war he knows nothing about
>You can't tell someone to just kill themselves!!
Patrick tells us and wants us to do so every single day and would celebrate if any of us did. Delete this if you must though mods

What the fuck is he talking about?

In what reality does he live on that thinks that Patton took Berlin from the Germans? He never heard about the Soviet Union?

This fat retard keeps retarding likes he knows everything looool, not only is illiterate in basic military but history as well.

 

[Procrastinhater]

I'd leave Eric Hildeman in a burning house to save a goldfish.

I'd leave Eric Hildeman in a burning house to save a TV remote...

 

[rusty shackleford 1]

That's bizarre to brag about for two reasons. The first being the obvious that he failed hard at a lifeguard job.

The second that IF it's true, it's incredibly, odds of a million, unlucky.
Most lifeguards don't ever have to rescue someone in their whole tenure as a lifeguard, let alone have someone die.

Perhaps these two who did because they started to get into trouble, realized that they would be rescued by Fatrick, so just simply gave up on living?

I mean just imagine it: you come to in a close call, sputtering water from the depths of your lungs as the shock of it all forces your eyes open again. You’re defenseless, confused as you feel the gritty cement beneath your back. You look up to see an upturned fish mouth with a natural frown lined by the weirdest creases. The shadows on his face somehow become more prominent, those creases somehow deeper, as the clouds pass over the sun. The smell of cheap booze and pepperoni lingers around you. A pig man leans in closer, your eyes pleading, “no!” and his eyes? Hungry. “Yes child,” you hear as his heavy breath increases, his fish mouth approaching yours. You have a fucking heart attack. Fin.

 

[AnOminous]

That's bizarre to brag about for two reasons. The first being the obvious that he failed hard at a lifeguard job.

It's impossible to understand the thought processes of this mental retard. Most lying liars who lie if they were lying about a lifeguard job would lie about saving people. Instead, he literally boasts about people dying on his watch because he was such a completely fat failure that he was completely incapable of saving anyone.

 

[you're still under oath]

Wait, wasn't Patrick making posts about being a scab a few days ago?

Nah, Pat started drinking early on a random tuesday, and got duped by some random Mr. Nigel Igger, rumoured to be the Don Simpson of the 21. century, calling directly from Hollywood via Skype. Something something wetbrain.

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Also: the Writers Guild is on strike right now. Nobody is asking anyone to write anything. EDIT: he's actually getting called on it by normal people!

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[AN/ALR56]

More insane bullshitting from Piggy about CPR. Credit to Brotherman LongIslandchomper on the other forum for these:

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Lmao what a fucking psychopath.
How can you not hate this fat fuck?

 

[AnOminous]

Lmao what a fucking psychopath.
How can you not hate this fat fuck?

Even people completely on his page politically learn to loathe and hate him within a few minutes of interacting with him. He's just that vile and disgusting.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

CPR is meant to artificially/manually keep the heart pumping blood and lungs inflated until EMTs can arrive. You can be CPR certified but it doesn't take a med degree to do it. I'm not sure of the failure vs success rate of CPR is (and I have a feeling that would be hard to calculate because its nature) but 90% death rate sounds astronomically high.

I don't think it'd be fair to say Patrick unironically killed 2 people but its so crazy to think that not one but two people got CPR from Pat and then died. Horrifying piece of Pat lore.

 

[AnOminous]

I don't think it'd be fair to say Patrick unironically killed 2 people but its so crazy to think that not one but two people got CPR from Pat and then died. Horrifying piece of Pat lore.

If I encountered this fat son of a bitch attempting to give CPR to anyone, I'd shoot him. You'd be better off getting nothing than getting CPR from this worthless faggot.

 

[DumbDude43]

I'm not sure of the failure vs success rate of CPR is (and I have a feeling that would be hard to calculate because its nature) but 90% death rate sounds astronomically high.

varies a lot based on what knocked the person out in the first place
someone who was drowning and had lungs full of water will have different odds of CPR success than someone who just got dragged out of a burning house where he collapsed due to smoke inhalation, and someone who just had a heart attack due to a blood clot is in yet another different situation.

 

[An automatic clown]

Happy 54.8k day !

 

[OtherLastTrainHome]

Didn’t he brag about a girl dying on his watch as a life guard? It was such a weird thing to bring up, but I think he mentioned that CPR failed to revive her to win an argument.

i hope this was a long time ago so it can add context to that really weird fucking throwaway line in The Ark where the protagonist says he saw a female minor's corpse have to get hauled out of a lake or some shit.

More insane bullshitting from Piggy about CPR. Credit to Brotherman LongIslandchomper on the other forum for these:

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nevermind, it's true. and this one pic in this quote (the last one, with a post from December 8, 2017) is the standout to me. there's something extremely wrong with this guy.

 

[cerulean hydra]

Patrick's boss wouldn't stop screaming at him. Tyrone may have been the senior lifeguard, but he was acting like a vagina filled with farts. Patrick had done his job perfectly. He had shown exemplary ability and skill. It wasn't his fault. Shit happens.

Patrick sighed as the medics loaded the body into the ambulance. What a waste of good pepperoni.

 

[AprilRains]

I'd leave Eric Hildeman in a burning house to save a goldfish.

I'd leave Eric Hildeman in a burning house to save a TV remote...

I'd leave Eric Hildeman in a burning house and I might even start that fire myself.

Incidentally, survival rates for CPR are around 12% outside of a hospital, which is where Patrick claims to have performed it. That's not the best reason to doubt his story. The dental floss and basketball needle, those are good reasons.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

I think most people - including Patrick - would choose to save a single day-old slice of pepperoni instead of ol' Hildy if it came down to it.

 

[AnOminous]

Incidentally, survival rates for CPR are around 12% outside of a hospital, which is where Patrick claims to have performed it. That's not the best reason to doubt his story. The dental floss and basketball needle, those are good reasons.

The very idea of this fat son of a bitch ever engaging in any physical activity is also a good reason. This corpulent prick never did anything even possibly useful.