I always hated my breasts, but I can't get top surgery because the surgeon said I'm too fat. I'm enraged.

I always hated my breasts, but I can't get top surgery because the surgeon said I'm too fat. I'm enraged.​

Robin Zabiegalsk

Oct 3, 2023, 10:59 AM EDT
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• I always hated my breasts and when I came out as nonbinary, I finally understood why.
• I want to get top surgery, but the only doctor in my state won't operate on me because I'm too fat.
• My insurance won't help me, so I'm worried my mental health will deteriorate.

I've always had complicated feelings about my breasts. I developed early — around 10 years old — and by 13, my chest was already massive.

As my breasts continued to grow, I came up with all sorts of reasons why I hated them: I had to special order bras, my shoulders and back ached all the time, and I got rashes under my breasts whenever I didn't wear a bra.

But when I eventually came out as nonbinary and decided I wanted top surgery, I learned there was a lot standing in my way.

In my mid-30s, I figured out that I'm nonbinary​

Though I was assigned female at birth and raised female, I'm not a woman. But I'm not a man either. I'm definitely more masculine than feminine, but my gender identity doesn't exist on the binary gender spectrum.

When I figured that out, my complicated relationship with my breasts finally made sense. I actually hate my breasts because they don't belong on my body. My feelings about my breasts escalated from discomfort to distress. I was so anxious and upset about their mere existence that I frequently sobbed in front of the mirror and had panic attacks.

My trans friends assured me that this is a fairly normal experience for newly out trans folks. When we finally realize that our bodies don't match our identities, a lifetime of suppressed distress comes crashing in all at once. They also told me that there's a name for the intense distress I felt about my breasts: chest dysphoria.

I started chest binding using garments called binders or medical tape specially designed to flatten my chest, which was no easy feat with F-cup breasts. Though I've found some techniques that sort of work, binding doesn't fix the fact that I still have breasts that don't belong on my body.

I started researching top surgery and was surprised by what I learned​

Top surgery is when a surgeon removes breast tissue and reshapes the chest to appear more masculine. When I Googled "top surgery in Vermont" for the first time, I discovered that only one surgeon in the state performs the procedure. But that surgeon won't perform top surgery on people with a body mass index higher than 35. They wouldn't even schedule a consultation until I lost 75 pounds.

I was devastated because I knew I couldn't lose weight. I spent more than a decade of my life battling anorexia and compulsive exercise, and I can't diet without ruining my physical and mental health.

After a few days of feeling despondent, my misery transformed into rage. In the past, countless doctors blamed my medical issues on my fatness — only to later discover I had legitimate conditions that had nothing to do with my weight. I've been told I couldn't get certain treatments until I lost weight, and the delayed treatment made my medical conditions worse. My physical and mental health has been repeatedly eroded by doctors who won't provide adequate medical care simply because I'm fat. And I wasn't going to let it happen again.

I started researching other surgeons — only to run into more obstacles​

On social media, I found an active community of fat trans folks sharing information about fat-affirming surgeons. After doing some research, it became clear that I might have to go to an out-of-network surgeon in a different state.

I asked my insurance company if I'd be able to get an "out-of-network exception" to cover surgery — which would cost $10,000 — because the surgeon in Vermont wouldn't work with me. They flat-out told me that I wouldn't qualify because I could get top surgery from the in-state surgeon if I lost weight. Even when I explained my eating-disorder history, the insurance company insisted I could just lose weight and go to the surgeon in Vermont.

I vacillated between misery and rage for a few days, and then I dove back into the emotionally exhausting work of trying to determine if any of the surgeons in-network for my insurance operate on fat people, the exact requirements for getting top surgery covered, and my options for appealing if insurance won't cover the procedure.

As of right now, I don't have any solid answers​

If insurance won't cover top surgery, I can't afford to pay over $10,000 out of pocket, and my mental health will continue to deteriorate.
If I was thinner, I could just schedule an appointment with the surgeon in Vermont, and the procedure would be 100% covered by my insurance. But because I'm fat, I might not be able to access the care I desperately need.
Nobody in our healthcare system really seems to care because they've deemed my fat body unworthy of medical care.


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Here's the author's webpage.

 

[Titty Figurine]

Battling anorexia and overexercise must be especially difficult when your blood sugar bottoms out from not eating a whole box of cereal a day and your knees call it quits after a brisk walk through the parking lot.

 

[WE'RE ALL GONNA]

When you get to a certain point of fatness it's extremely hard to distinguish whether you're male or female. Morbidly obese males have huge tits, so maybe she should consider getting fatter to embrace the ambiguity fat folds afford.

 

[Product Placement]

If she put the work into getting in shape I doubt she would hate them nearly as much, clearly the extra weight causing her issues and pain.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

this was the doctor

 

[Abradolfus_Linclerson]

this was the doctor
View attachment 5382763

Holy shit, is that a Ballchinnian???

On topic: lol fat

 

[Clusterfuckk2]

I was devastated because I knew I couldn't lose weight. I spent more than a decade of my life battling anorexia and compulsive exercise, and I can't diet without ruining my physical and mental health.

That’s what every deathfat claims when asked to lose weight

Bitch go to therapy,

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

lol fat

If she actually lost the weight, she'd kill 3 birds with one stone.

 

[Troonos]

I suggest focusing that rage into solving the problem by killing yourself.

 

[Sugriva]

I developed early — around 10 years old — and by 13, my chest was already massive.

Doesn't being obese cause early puberty? I remember reading something about that. I wonder if a lot of "dysphoria" in these young girls is being caused because everyone in America is too fat and going through puberty too early.

 

[Super Guido]

If your doc says you can't get the surgery because you're fat, they're one of the better ones. There are a lot of morons who don't understand that surgeons refusing to do work on obese people isn't x-phobia; it's a legitimate mortality issue.

Similarly, I was listening to a podcast a while ago and heard some retard try to claim that breast reduction surgery and obesity had no commonality and I thought of contacting one of the hosts, but decided against it because I was sure he'd think facts are fatphobic. People just wanna be mad in spite of the facts and there's nothing you can do about it.

 

[Malodorous Merkin]

You're not non-binary, you're just obese to the point where you've become androgynous.

Once a human hits a certain level of gross obesity, they're no longer a male or a female, they're just a genderless blob.

 

[FierceBrosnan]

"Oh no the doctor said I need to get something I can control under control!" JFC stop making excuses. You want to get your tits lopped off? Fine. Start hitting the gym.

Tangentially, I've noticed when fats and soys start actually exercising and taking care of themselves a lot of these dysphoric issues start to go away.

 

[Soup Sammiches]

So, you're fat and can't get surgery due to that.. I just wish there was SOMETHING you could do to go ahead and get that surgery. We could call it a die-t or something.

Ed: I notice she approached that and waved it away, while my aunt ACTUALLY fought anorexia and never became a land whale. Really odd how people are different I guess.

 

[NoReturn]

• My insurance won't help me, so I'm worried my mental health will deteriorate.

Fuck (but not literally) this fat bitch.
Genderspechuls like this actually get me MATI because they're the kind of fucks that have turned "mental health" into something that can't be taken seriously.
"My mental health will deteriorate if I can't get my tits cut off." and somehow this warrants a story in the gossip rags and a gofundme.
Spare a thought for the actual schitzos who genuinely have a fear of relapsing or sliding back into delusions once in a while.
All these dangerhairs love to claim they're "neurodiverse" and accepting, but the moment they have to interact with someone who actually has problems they treat them like a leper.

 

[Super Guido]

So, you're fat and can't get surgery due to that.. I just wish there was SOMETHING you could do to go ahead and get that surgery. We could call it a die-t or something.

Ed: I notice she approached that and waved it away, while my aunt ACTUALLY fought anorexia and never became a land whale. Really odd how people are different I guess.

Yeah, this lady's just switching one eating disorder for another. Binge Eating Disorder has its own treatment methods, and a specific kind of doctor (not just a dietitian) that helps mitigate its triggering.

 

[Easy J]

"REEE! I have a first-world problem on top of the ultimate first world problem and a soapbox from which to cry about it. Shovel asspats my way or else you're a bigot".

I was assigned a short, average looking poor person identity at birth and raised as such. But I'm definitely tall, handsome and a trust fund rich kid. When I came out I realized that I hated my height, face and bank balance because they don't match my identity. But no one will indulge my fantasy and everyone insists that I live in the same world that they do. Can I get some asspats and 12 cartons of Twinkies, please?

It's the height of entitlement to expect reality to meet you 99% of the way or else there's a cosmic injustice. Normal ugly people with mental problems can't afford to suck down a large 3rd world family's allotment of calories. They don't have free time to waste on wrapping their entire identity around trendy social issues, either. The idea of spending a year's working class income to be mutilated into an ugly, fat man would boggle the minds of most normal people with bills to pay.

 

[glow]

> The surgeon doesn't want to risk me dying from a non-emergency surgery.
> I'm enraged about this.

 

[BelUwUga]

If this fat pooner retard put half as much energy into exercising instead of seething about being a fat pooner retard then she would be a thin pooner retard and the butcher appointment would be booked in short order.

It doesn't even take effort, it takes simply eating less.

 

[Mariposa2.0 LTE]

Your clam probably stinks too.

 

[Baraadmirer]

Nobody in our healthcare system really seems to care because they've deemed my fat body unworthy of medical care.

Bitch, surgeons would like their patients' prognoses to be good and for them not to die on the operating table, and you know one way of improving that? Not being overweight, let alone obese. Not getting titties lopped off is not going to physiologically harm you.