TW // grooming, power control, BDSM, NSFW discussions, vomitting, self-harm
https://imgur.com/a/fppis4X
I had been close friends with this voice actor since I was 15 years old, when I first formally involved myself in the voice acting community, and he was ~24 at the time. He was one of the first “professional” voice actors I had ever really gotten close with, and he helped me a lot with learning things about the perks of being based in Texas as a voice actor, and FUNimation. We viewed each other as like father and child, since I discussed a lot of things with him as I grew up, like getting a job, applying for colleges, etc. When I was around 16 year old, he made comments calling me attractive, cute, and how he needs to control himself from flirting with me. During the time of the things that occurred when I was over the age of 18, I did not remember any of his flirtatious conversations from when I was a minor, as they had been 2 years prior, and I did not think of them as anything significant when they were occuring. But now that I am an adult myself, reading our chats from when I was a minor made me realize that this man is potential a threat to minors and young females, and that this post should be made as a warning.
When I was 18, now living in Texas, I mistook something he said that he was asking if we could be more than friends, quote: “Never to be anything else than the familial relationship”. I was unsure if he meant this as a statement, as we’ll never be more than that, or if it was a question, asking if we could be more than that. When I asked for clarification and we spoke more, he confessed that he did indeed like me, had a crush on me, etc. He also started to speak more on our age gap being almost 10 years apart but I was now “eligible”, and other aspects. Because I had a crush on another person at the time, he would frequently express his hopes of being able to do sexual things with me as much as possible before I became “taken”, or would mention trying to convert me into begging him for sexual for things and doing whatever he says. Early into these sexual discussions, he said he would only do things that would make me comfortable, feel safe, etc, but as we spoke more in this form he would frequently bring up topics I mentioned I was uncomfortable with, such as taking inappropriate photos of myself, and would seem to only contact me when he was in the mood, and I felt he didn’t really consider me a friend anymore, but someone to view sexually. When I told him I no longer wanted to do things with him, mainly because I had interest in someone else (that he had known about since day one), and that he was “dating” another girl, he then told me he was actively flirting with someone that I view as my bigger sister. When I told him that was absolutely disgusting and I wouldn’t forgive him for it, he started getting extremely manipulative and saying how bad of a person he was, how he was vomiting in his toilet, shouldn’t be alive, and many other things.
I am a young female who is inexperienced. I’ve never been in a committed relationship, and he took advantage of it. I moved halfway across the country on my own a month after turning 18 and I viewed him as a person I could depend on and trust with my life. He told me our relationship was okay because I was 18, even though he knew me from when I was under the age of consent. I told him from the start that I didn’t want to do anything unless we were serious, which he acknowledged and respected, allegedly. Within only weeks our relationship became only sexual conversations, and our friendship was gone. After I put a stop to it, I realized that I felt I had to allow him to keep insinuating flirting and discussing of doing sexual things in order to stay friends with him.
I feel stupid for not seeing this behavior sooner, and I regret not listening to my friends who felt something wasn’t right from the beginning. I just wanted to see him happy, and I didn’t want to lose a friendship that I had made with him for so many years. But with how I was treated differently after I put a stop to his sexual advances, I wasn’t really a friend. I was an opportunity.
I spent a few weeks thinking and speaking to a few people in this industry before making this decision. If I am able to make a difference, I want to do it, and I believe putting this story public is the best method. I hope that he will acknowledge this post as a warning.
If there are other girls you are currently taking advantage of, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Take this post as a warning to put a stop to this behavior. NO ADULT should be flirting with a 16-year old child and commenting on their appearance - the same for a 28 year old man wanting sex with the same girl once she becomes “eligible” at 18. I absolutely will reveal your name in the future if I feel it is necessary. Stop. And change.