Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
Not planning out your main story beats and character-arcs beforehand are pretty definitive signs of a hack author.
"Outline? Hush, child. I am a real author, like Stephen King. Stephen King does not outline, so neither shall I. I am a discovery writer who throws my characters into situations to see how they will react, like how the FBI will soon throw you into prison and I will personally watch you enjoy it. Wait for the knock."

The funniest part is that it took him 22 months. Most discovery writers shit out a first draft in two weeks and *then* spend months cleaning it up lmao.
 
Sorry if it's already been posted, but this got a nigga's ribs good.

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Starting to think Patrick might be in StealthyZarbon's gay porn video.
out of context replies are boring
i need to see what he is actually replying to for it to be funny
like, what is making him talk about gay porn? has he finally figured out the robert prongay meme?
 
out of context replies are boring
i need to see what he is actually replying to for it to be funny
like, what is making him talk about gay porn? has he finally figured out the robert prongay meme?
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seems like it was this. I've seen the image/thumbnail before, maybe either posted in this thread or OnA? I don't know the details of the video itself

edit: spoilered it just in case.
 
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Sorry if it's already been posted, but this got a nigga's ribs good.

View attachment 5403996

Starting to think Patrick might be in StealthyZarbon's gay porn video.
out of context replies are boring
i need to see what he is actually replying to for it to be funny
like, what is making him talk about gay porn? has he finally figured out the robert prongay meme?
This is what he's likely responding to,
handjob pat.jpg
some brotherman was obviously enjoying some gay porn and feloniously discovered Pat and a friend.
 
Sermon on the dumping mound.

“The atalker child’s shall inherit prison”
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to suggest that his detractors finally going to prison is Pat's version of the Rapture. In his mind, it's the ultimate defeat of earthly evil, and the beginning of a new peaceable earthly kingdom that he will reign over for a 1000 years.

Pat believes this in his heart, even if he doesn't say it out loud.
 
"Outline? Hush, child. I am a real author, like Stephen King. Stephen King does not outline, so neither shall I. I am a discovery writer who throws my characters into situations to see how they will react, like how the FBI will soon throw you into prison and I will personally watch you enjoy it. Wait for the knock."

The funniest part is that it took him 22 months. Most discovery writers shit out a first draft in two weeks and *then* spend months cleaning it up lmao.
He's trying to imitate what he knows of real author's, like Tolkien's notes indicating he knew Gollum was important at a certain point in the story, but didn't yet know the ending.

This can work for adventure/thriller type writing, but for a murder mystery it's really not how you want to be writing two years in. The whole point of a murder mystery is that the clues are all right there laid out for you, and you can't figure it out, but once it's revealed that the butler did it, it all comes together.

I suppose if you have all the charity in the world, you could hypothesize an author who would write a murder mystery with five or so suspects all of whom have the means, motive, and method and yet you don't decide who did it until the very last moment. GK Chesterton had a few Fr Brown stories that were like this.

Patrick is not at that level. At best we can hope he realized he needed a villain near then end and now has to go back and ham-fistedly rewrite everything.
 
He's trying to imitate what he knows of real author's, like Tolkien's notes indicating he knew Gollum was important at a certain point in the story, but didn't yet know the ending.

This can work for adventure/thriller type writing, but for a murder mystery it's really not how you want to be writing two years in. The whole point of a murder mystery is that the clues are all right there laid out for you, and you can't figure it out, but once it's revealed that the butler did it, it all comes together.

I suppose if you have all the charity in the world, you could hypothesize an author who would write a murder mystery with five or so suspects all of whom have the means, motive, and method and yet you don't decide who did it until the very last moment. GK Chesterton had a few Fr Brown stories that were like this.

Patrick is not at that level. At best we can hope he realized he needed a villain near then end and now has to go back and ham-fistedly rewrite everything.

I was going to comment about how the approach doesn't work for a murder mystery, but I don't think that's what Pat is writing here? Though he probably did write The Ark in the exact same way, but it's hard to even call that a murder mystery based on what I saw in the read-along in the thread (especially with the main character destroying the evidence)

Pretty sure he's just had a cripple running around ye olde lundun chasing at shadows like a shitty thriller while the ghost of ebeneezer scrooge cracks wise at him. I'm guessing his third act is "It was the ghost of christmas future the whole time!!!!" and Tiny Tim will have to ye olde ghostbuster his way out of it.

edit: this was his sales pitch. It definitely just sounds like a revenge-fantasy thriller.
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Pretty sure he's just had a cripple running around ye olde lundun chasing at shadows like a shitty thriller while the ghost of ebeneezer scrooge cracks wise at him. I'm guessing his third act is "It was the ghost of christmas future the whole time!!!!" and Tiny Tim will have to ye olde ghostbuster his way out of it.
i mean we're dissecting the dust of a dead frog but I think the idea was scrooge was murdered, we don't know by whom, and tiny tim has to crack the case.

There are a thousand issues with the premise even in that sentence, but I think that was generally what he was going for.

Why? Nobody knows.
 
i briefly considered doing a read-along of his book if it ever comes out, like what @OtherLastTrainHome just did, but while reading the excerpt he posted some time ago - where tiny tim beats up some goons while pat relentlessly assaults the reader with his typed-out approximation of a cockney accent - i got a headache. it was pretty unpleasant, and not even bad enough to be interesting, like an empress theresa type deal.
i don't know if i'm strong enough.

as an unrelated sidenote, fuck me, drawing norm's face is hard to get right, i've been struggling to get it down for like a week
 
I was going to comment about how the approach doesn't work for a murder mystery, but I don't think that's what Pat is writing here? Though he probably did write The Ark in the exact same way, but it's hard to even call that a murder mystery based on what I saw in the read-along in the thread (especially with the main character destroying the evidence)

Pretty sure he's just had a cripple running around ye olde lundun chasing at shadows like a shitty thriller while the ghost of ebeneezer scrooge cracks wise at him. I'm guessing his third act is "It was the ghost of christmas future the whole time!!!!" and Tiny Tim will have to ye olde ghostbuster his way out of it.

edit: this was his sales pitch. It definitely just sounds like a revenge-fantasy thriller.
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Pig once again showing that he does not understand the works of Dickens (literary rant, my apologies).

The only reason Marley visited Scrooge as a ghost was because he was stuck in Hell due to his sin in life. He was sent one time only to warn Scrooge to change his ways lest he end up the same way. Scrooge achieved this and became a better man, which is the whole point of the Novella, Rick. Scrooge would not be a ghost, he achieved redemption.

But of course, Pig just wants "le lol xd comic relief" from Scrooge in a cockney accent that he never had in the first place.
 
Pat's takes are so retarded that I actually get frustrated when he misrepresents arguments I don't even agree with. If that sounds weird or confusing, that's because Pat is such a cutting-edge jackass that he accidentally creates new emotions that aren't described by the English language. Like, if Pat were to walk in on two grown men arguing, he'd take the opposite point that I would, and then state the opposing case so poorly, and with such childlike eagerness, that it makes me feel sorry for the guy I don't agree with, and start trying to construct a better argument for him in my head.
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This will move you through the best and worst posts of the thread, so you don't have to see endless pages of Patrick squealing "No, child" or wade through pages of fat jokes.
Don't forget to occasionally pause and take in how fat the guy is though. Because he's really fucking fat.
 
I'm sorry you're too stupid to pay above average attention to world affairs, stalker child.
That comment of his made me wince. Pat has ZERO awareness of what a loser he sounds like.
It reminds me of how, as a kid, my parents and teachers seemed so proud that I was a news junkie and knew the names of so many politicians across various countries’ legislative and executive branches. Even though I was only 12, I still look back and wish they hadn’t encouraged the establishment-respecting mindset — inculcated in public school kids from the age of 5 — that valued such things. But at least I was a child, and soon abandoned such delusions.

Yet here’s Pat: 43, unemployed, posting an average of 2,800 times per month on X alone, trying to make a career out of being an uneducated, dim-witted, shiftless layabout who has ~*~*opinions*~*~. Pat is downright proud of himself for the reverence he shows for democracy and politicians. If he was my son, I’d have tried to have him 5150’d (or whatever the Wisconsin code is for an involuntary psychiatric hold) years ago.

The only thing worse than being Pat would be going through life as Jackie “Curry Farts” Singh or Eric “Pedophile Admirer” Hildeman. Imagine being such a broke, ugly loser, totally lacking accomplishments or distinction, that you have to suck up to fucking Pat Tomlinson.

They’re all pretty fat, too. And have you seen Hildeman’s rotten teeth? Or his wife Carrie Kishline Hildeman’s extensive public discussions of the explosive bowel movements she has between six and 18 times a day? I thought people this intellectually bankrupt, worthless, disgusting and in debt — fleeing every adult responsibility, whether to creditors or their own children — only existed on parodies of Maury or Jerry Springer. But no, this is Pat and these are his fans. I still can’t believe these shitstains are real.
 
It's not like Hamas replaced Fatah because the latter showed too much willingness to compromise.
Hamas replaced Fatah because Fatah was so brazenly openly corrupt they didn't even pretend to care about anyone outside their fruity little club. The group of open terrorists looked better to the average Pali.
Well you've seen the "my special needs brother is lost" Twitter post, right? I can't find it but, it's out there somewhere.
CHECK IT OUT NOW.
THE GROUP HOME BROTHER.
RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
THE GROUP HOME BROTHER.

You are now hearing this in your head.
But of course, Pig just wants "le lol xd comic relief" from Scrooge in a cockney accent that he never had in the first place.
He's so fat he doesn't understand that accent signified social status in England to an extreme extent and that a rich man like Scrooge would never, ever have a low-class accent.
 
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This will move you through the best and worst posts of the thread, so you don't have to see endless pages of Patrick squealing "No, child" or wade through pages of fat jokes.

Keep in mind that, while highlight-browsing will significantly reduce the time required to get acquainted with Pat and his antics, you'll still run into a LOT of fat jokes while doing so. Enjoy the joculating, stalker.
 
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