Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Tiresome]

It's more obvious in the full pic but you can see her ribs very visibly. This dog is too thin, I wouldn't be surprised if the Scalfanis are starving her because she's too food-aggressive.

A rescued fighting dog being starved. Hat rising but I like the sound of that.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Jack is still seething about Mahomes not scoring and choosing to end the game on the spot. Jack, aka testosterone incarnate, calls out Travis Kelce for looking feminine while dancing on the field. Real men are stroked-out, weigh 350 lbs and get wheeled everywhere by their wives.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

9 Butts 70 Men.
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Faggot still doesn't understand that pulled pork... sorry pulpork as he calls it isn't a cut of meat. It's what the end product is.

Hammy knows because she called it a pork butt. Just goes to show Hammy is smarter than Jagoff.

If he actually cared about food prices he’d be eating less meat and cheese, less processed food, and a lot more fruit and veggies. His liver and colon would be grateful.
(Note: I’m not shilling for vegans, just noting that meat and dairy and processed food are the main culprits on a fat grocery bill).

Everybody should be eating less processed food which means more veggies and fruit. Focus on whole foods and learn some recipes that only take five ingredients and don't take forever to cook. Or learn to prep, freeze what you have and then use it later when it's time.

Pickle Rick. Pickle Riiick! Pickle Riiick. OK, so only the people who've seen Pickle Rick know what that means. Pickle Riiick."

He's just referencing something from six years ago and acting like it's fresh.

 

[Bassomatic]

It's more obvious in the full pic but you can see her ribs very visibly. This dog is too thin, I wouldn't be surprised if the Scalfanis are starving her because she's too food-aggressive.

Jack probably doesn't want to share the kibble anyway, I can picture that fat fuck just digging his hand in a big 50 lb bag of dry food eating it watching lazy town (unironicly for the plot) as Tammy is off to work and with Jim Traynor.

They really are shit bag family incarnate, the animal abuse is icing on the white trash cake. I'll feel better when Jack wakes up missing that dead arm because his fighting dog couldn't find her Kong toy at 2am.

 

[DontEatThat_2.0]

Jack probably doesn't want to share the kibble anyway, I can picture that fat fuck just digging his hand in a big 50 lb bag of dry food eating it watching lazy town (unironicly for the plot) as Tammy is off to work and with Jim Traynor.

They really are shit bag family incarnate, the animal abuse is icing on the white trash cake. I'll feel better when Jack wakes up missing that dead arm because his fighting dog couldn't find her Kong toy at 2am.

I see it as Jack sitting on his lazy man chair and the dogs come to beg him for food as he scarfs down another pool pork that he was told he couldnt bring to the all man weekend. He yells to Tammy to feed the dogs and bitches to her about how they need to have half their bowls filled because they eat too much.

The pittie has already had a rough history and Jacks history of being a shitty human and pet owner is just asking for this dog to just say fuck it at one point and animalistic instincts take over. Funny how Jack made it well aware he is ready and armed for God knows what but when this dog strikes, hes gonna be a helpless fuck.

 

[beautiful person]

I can't believe these cunts got another fucking dog that they're already abusing. This shit is turning me into an AnOminous-tier Jack A-Log. Though, at least with shitbulls, they usually externalize their rage. I just hope she mauls one of the humans and not poor Hope, who needs to be freed already. Poor little not-beagle doggo

Like, how tf do you get a former fighting dog and then immediately start starving it? Stupid mongoloids.

Someone made a video showing Jack's decline from 2008. Pretty dark.

I think there needs to be more of such videos, rather than the same tired trope of "haha, pink chicken/party cheese salad" videos being made ad nauseam.

Lmao, this is brilliant.

It's part of the prepping LARP he's doing to go with the dehydrator, the tower garden and other things that will not help him should the apocalypse happen. I'll say it before and I'll say it again if you want to prep for the "collapse of society" you need things to protect you like guns and ammo, food or skills that are useful.

But then generators work off of kerosene or gasoline. So they would need a huge supply of it and both degrade over time so you need to get it reasonably fresh.

The funniest thing about Jack's prepper LARP is that most serious preppers will tell you that the most important basic prep is keeping yourself physically fit and healthy. If you don't have that, then everything else is practically useless. And of course, Jack is about the furthest you can be from physically fit and healthy.

 

[AnOminous]

Those guys saw right through lard ass. He was 100% there to try and get more views for his show. Nothing wrong with being a people person and selling yourself, but you need to be able to add value as well. Glad he didn't take that deal, more milk for us.

The best part of that was when he started crying like a faggot and they just openly laughed at him for what a fraud he is.

I can't believe these cunts got another fucking dog that they're already abusing. This shit is turning me into an AnOminous-tier Jack A-Log. Though, at least with shitbulls, they usually externalize their rage. I just hope she mauls one of the humans and not poor Hope, who needs to be freed already.

I hope that shitbull eats Jack's face. That would be pure justice.

 

[Stan]

New video:

Can’t archive because I’m on mobile, sorry.

This video has triggered me in ways I didn’t think possible. Where to begin…

-I love that he used the siren at the beginning for the rip off recipe intro. Foreshadowing for when the fire truck rolls up out front to stomp out the grease fire.

-The “Bickle jooz” vat of marinating chicken looks like some kind of science experiment. Like something you’re going to dissect in middle school biology.

-That Vevor fryer is clearly meant for a commercial kitchen. It’s so fucking huge. I was thinking (when he first posted about it) that it was going to be similar in size to the one that STCG has. Like a tiny one. (And btw even he keeps this outdoors) Those curtains are going to stink to the high heavens along with any furniture. Since it’s open concept. Gross.

-He probably tripled the batch of oil. Usually there’s a fill line. Maybe not because it’s Chineseum crap.

-He put the double fryer on top of the freshly cleaned stove which you aren’t supposed to do. Not just for the fact that it’s a heating element, but also the weight of the device + 12 gallons of oil.

-After he pours 2 gallons of stinky oil down Jr’s drains, this thing is going out in the graveyard never to be seen or heard from again.

-Not to mention the fact that there are two large untrained dogs freely roaming around the kitchen. I’m surprised no one got hurt in the filming of this video.

Anyway, 7 minutes is one of the longer videos he’s put out in a whole, so I guess congrats?

I agree that the raw chicken floating in pickle juice looks terrible. I’m still debating if it would make a good marinade. Maybe?

That fryer is still running during the tasting segment. Loud as a pog too. It sounds like someone’s shaking a rain stick behind Tammy.

And call me a precog, but this fryer gives me strong Chris-Chan Keurig machine in the bathroom emanations.

"Bigle" juice? Yeah I know he's saying "pickle" but it sounds like "Bigle" which makes me think of some old school English boy's adventure books about James "Biggles" Bigglesworth. And yes that was a real

“Big ol’ Jews” hehe

Funny that you mention bug powder, as bug flour is real and EU made it legal to put into food now. Granted, I don't know if it has to show up as an ingredient used, much like food has to let you know if it has nuts or soy in it, but I guarantee you that companies will refused to disclose this fact for as long as possible. This is why you should be careful when you're eating fast food or junk food slop from now on, you never now what's going to be in it.

I hope the bugs are kosher.

You never throw out rendered fat. Certain things are almost necessary when you cook. And while it's not something we make on a regular basis but duck fat is liquid gold.

Agree that duck fat is nice stuff. Bacon grease however I do not think is worth saving. Too salty and somehow it makes the eggs stick on my nonstick pan when they don’t if I use butter.

Land insects are haram, they'll never be able to replace ingredients with bugs without being complately explicit about doing so in this day and age. The shitstorm would be too much, especially in the countries affected by the horse meat scandal (predominantly the UK).

Reluctantly, this is probably gonna be a muslim W for all of us

I’m sure they will also have yeast nutrient derivatives and distilled bugbooze in the pod cities. It’ll be fun, just think of it like Evangelion.

I'd actually laugh if he accidentally causes an electrical grease fire with this pile of dogshit.

Back in ultra serious orthodox NYC I would sometimes hear about Jews accidentally burning their houses down on Shabbos because they wanted to keep a crock pot or range burner in continuous operation for ~25 hours. It’s sad when it happens to them, when it happens to jack it’ll seem like he was asking for injuries.

Holy shit, where did he move to? Yemen?

I've never lost power for an entire day in my entire life.

What? I lived on the east coast all my life and lived through numerous 24h+ power outages.

The whole reason he got a shitbull

Can someone add “viciously mauled by Zoe” to the list remmmm my n

Fucking Rob, I just about died when the drumbeat came on:

"First of all, it's annoying so please stop it. Secondly, don't you have some noise-cancelling microphone or some software on your computer that could help you with this?"

Aw I like Cracker Barrel. It’s a reliable source of home cooked ish food. I like the trout and the biscuits with apple butter.

That is a seriously massive burger, with a normal-sized burger on top.

I thought it was a fucked up muffuletta lmao

Jack is doing a Dollar General or Aldi Thanksgiving this year to keep costs low. Besides the fact that the Scalfani family budget is obviously becoming tight, didn't Jack just go off on someone on Facebook about being cheap for Thanksgiving?

Costco thanksgiving would probably be a better deal than a dollar store thanksgiving but it’ll be fun to watch Jack try to scrape something together with frozen chicken breasts and canned gravy.

Imminent pitbull attack basically confirmed now.

Oh no. I’m so afraid you’re right. Zoe is going to attack Hope or any random person. And Jack seems too prideful too admit she’s dangerous.

> Jack probably doesn't want to share the kibble anyway, I can picture that fat fuck just digging his hand in a big 50 lb bag of dry food eating it watching lazy town (unironicly for the plot) as Tammy is off to work and with Jim Traynor.

Waiting for Lazy man’s dog food to drop

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

The only slight amusement I take from that shot is that the dog is eyeing the dead arm.

Kenshi must have every situation applicable to Jack imaginable.

 

[lindsayfan]

9 Butts 70 Men.
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i am the furthest thing from vegan but reading this post i can, for a moment, experience the visceral moral disgust a vegan feels. looking at all those dead animals whose fate is just to further fat-ify already obese laser-show churchburgers-- although more realistically they'll just be thrown in the trash. all of it cooked on the finest lead-leaking chinesium by a man who is literally killing himself with food... ugh

 

[Aaway]

55 year old man listens to "peanut butter jelly time"

also, get you soyface

 

[Falcon Sebben]

The funniest thing about Jack's prepper LARP is that most serious preppers will tell you that the most important basic prep is keeping yourself physically fit and healthy. If you don't have that, then everything else is practically useless. And of course, Jack is about the furthest you can be from physically fit and healthy.

And not just fit and healthy but they know bushcraft and how to live off the land if necessary. Seriously if society were to crumble the safest place for you to be is far out in the wilderness with no humans around for miles. Live off the land, hunt, live a simple existence and maybe in 20 years when some provisional government shows up because Kevin Costner started to deliver mail again you can come back.

I’m still debating if it would make a good marinade. Maybe?

It could work. It's a brine after all and it would impart a slight pickle taste to the chicken.

Bacon grease however I do not think is worth saving. Too salty and somehow it makes the eggs stick on my nonstick pan when they don’t if I use butter.

Weird. I've never had that problem with bacon grease.

55 year old man listens to "peanut butter jelly time"

also, get you soyface

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What a faggot.

 

[Stan]

Weird. I've never had that problem with bacon grease.

I think it’s because the bacon I use is spiked with sugars and preservative and “natural flavors”. Fresh pork belly works fine.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

I think it’s because the bacon I use is spiked with sugars and preservative and “natural flavors”. Fresh pork belly works fine.

You must be in some pocket of the universe with unique physics because in most places salt isn't fat soluble.

 

[rubytintedchix]

How does this fat cripple even make it to his seat? Does Tammy have to diaper him before they board? So many questions.

The fatties likely had to be seated on opposite ends of the plane for load balancing purposes.

 

[ZipDisk]

Re: PBJT
Holy fuck, he has become the Grubhub Soy incarnate. Somebody smarter than me do an overlay.

 

[Stan]

You must be in some pocket of the universe with unique physics because in most places salt isn't fat soluble.

[spoiler:”culinary slapfight]Bacon pan drippings aren’t purely made of fats. There is some water in city bacon and ham. That why its somewhat moist, can spoil readily, you have to refrigerate it. [/spoiler]

Am i going to get in some backbitey shit every time I post about cooking here? Fellas, let’s be honest: you wish your gf could cook like me.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

And not just fit and healthy but they know bushcraft and how to live off the land if necessary. Seriously if society were to crumble the safest place for you to be is far out in the wilderness with no humans around for miles. Live off the land, hunt, live a simple existence and maybe in 20 years when some provisional government shows up because Kevin Costner started to deliver mail again you can come back.

And most critically how to obtain safe water. Dehydration from something like giardia or dysentery is easily a death sentence out in the wild. That's one of the most important skills I learned back in Boy Scouts.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

[spoiler:”culinary slapfight]Bacon pan drippings aren’t purely made of fats. There is some water in city bacon and ham. That why its somewhat moist, can spoil readily, you have to refrigerate it. [/spoiler]

Am i going to get in some backbitey shit every time I post about cooking here? Fellas, let’s be honest: you wish your gf could cook like me.

You know you can just cook off the water, right? Then you decant the grease from the pan leaving the solids behind.

 

[Rubber Plant]

When I first saw Jack use that pickle jar, 1 thing come to my mind.