Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Falcon Sebben]

I love when fatty threads give me an excuse to post this video:

But also:

That first one is an annoying bitch. The second one is pretty funny though. And the family that brought them in for cremation? They need to pay a fine or something as it's essentially their fault this happened.

 

[biggacracka]

is Cremation even an option

They will smoke him in parts in all his smokers
He will be the final pulpork

But then we all know how Jagoff wants to go. Being smoked at 225 degrees like his beloved pulpork.

Drats, I was late on this one

 

[anliteralidiot]

The only slight amusement I take from that shot is that the dog is eyeing the dead arm.

How long until the new dog takes a test bite of the arm?

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Look who the fuck is fucking talking.
View attachment 5416662

>Stop being nasty to each other. Love people.

Tell that to the Palestinians you want to be bombed to death. All the people who disagree with you, the staff of restaurants you bully, and your son.

>They have the same struggles

No they don't, even with your strokes, you live an easy life, Jack.

>Walk Nicer. Drive Nicer.

Why don't you try that? Oh wait...

>Treat Everyone Nicer.

You first retard

 

[Crex Crex]

Actually, is Cremation even an option? I've heard some crematoriums are turning away deathfats.

With the amount of lard Jack has on him, an oil refinery wouldn't turn him down.

 

[Stan]

That first one is an annoying bitch. The second one is pretty funny though. And the family that brought them in for cremation? They need to pay a fine or something as it's essentially their fault this happened.

Yikes. Fatphobic even after they’re dead. Someone needs to teach you some manners.

Anyway Scalfani’s fat but not so fat he won’t fit in a normal crematory. He might need a 1.5x width coffin though.

Tbh this doesn’t seem like a fun subject to discuss though. Better to rag on Jack for always being super salty at Tammy for not letting him eat more carbs, and frustrating his efforts to eat himself into an early grave.

 

[p1138]

Look at that adorable little scooty puff!!! And trust us Jack, we know the only physical activities going on in that room are bowel movements.
View attachment 5417529

Only Fatty could post a picture of a hotel room with a fucking kitchenette and seating for 4 and call it a "kinda small room" for two people LOL. Fucking lardass.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

(Also, why are these videos age-restricted? Not what I expect from a Jack upload...)

Jack's way of eating is not safe for work. Within the first minute, a woman passes by him when he's talking outside the restaurant giving him a look of pure disgust.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I'm sorry. I had to.

View attachment 5416541

GET YOU D

 

[8mm Cunningham]

I watched Jack's recent live where he said "someone" is sending him a free generator. I think I know what's going on here. I have a friend who got a "free" generator. Their kid has muscular dystrophy and sleeps with a breathing machine and has an electric wheelchair. The insurance paid for it as their medical equipment requires it.

I think Jack didn't want to admit he can't live without electricity and would rather spin the narrative that he's famous and gets free shit.

 

[Kosher Salt]

Do you think Jack will get a coffin? Or will they burn him in a cardboard box. Actually, is Cremation even an option? I've heard some crematoriums are turning away deathfats.

They need special equipment to cremate deathfats. Or maybe they could do a quick hack job and burn the fatso in pieces. There has to be enough room for all the rendered lard to burn without it overflowing and making grease fire go places where grease fire shouldn't be.

And the family that brought them in for cremation? They need to pay a fine or something as it's essentially their fault this happened.

No, the crematorium should have turned them away. "You must fit under this weight to ride the ride" type shit. It's not the family's fault that the people operating the crematorium didn't know its limitations.

 

[Adamska]

I watched Jack's recent live where he said "someone" is sending him a free generator. I think I know what's going on here. I have a friend who got a "free" generator. Their kid has muscular dystrophy and sleeps with a breathing machine and has an electric wheelchair. The insurance paid for it as their medical equipment requires it.

I think Jack didn't want to admit he can't live without electricity and would rather spin the narrative that he's famous and gets free shit.

While plausible, I'm still leaning more towards Jack is just continuing the doomsday prep LARP rather than this. Could be either or, but we do know it's not free, and he probably bought some cheap chinesium piece of shit.

 

[ComStar]

They need special equipment to cremate deathfats. Or maybe they could do a quick hack job and burn the fatso in pieces. There has to be enough room for all the rendered lard to burn without it overflowing and making grease fire go places where grease fire shouldn't be.

There are more fitting alternatives to cremation.

Live like a pig, eat like a pig, get fed to pigs. Circle of lard.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

That first one is an annoying bitch. The second one is pretty funny though. And the family that brought them in for cremation? They need to pay a fine or something as it's essentially their fault this happened.

lol, imagine the stink from that quarter-ton fatty's carcass. Probably 50 pounds of shit backed up in there.

 

[Pig Cups]

It's for two reasons they turn deathfats away.

The first is obvious, they don't have the industrial style ovens to fit somebody of his massive girth.
And secondly they can cause a grease fire. All that liquified fat just kinda seeped out into the floor and set the place ablaze.

This reminds me of a scene from The Whale (2022).

There are more fitting alternatives to cremation.

Live like a pig, eat like a pig, get fed to pigs. Circle of lard.

That sounds like a good idea, other than the inhumanity of feeding adorable pink piggies Jack's bush league meat. Feed it to wild boars instead.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

Do you think Jack will get a coffin? Or will they burn him in a cardboard box. Actually, is Cremation even an option? I've heard some crematoriums are turning away deathfats.
I also figure Jack would be the kind of person to attend a murder church that thinks Cremation is a sin.

I joked many years ago that the goldenrod shirt Jack wore in the Montel infomercial would be his burial shirt, but he's surely too large for it now. He's going to be buried in a T-shirt with one of his bitmoji's, a final "fuck you" to their licensing requirement.

Well, you know how they got rid of that beached whale...

 

[TV's Adam West]

When Jack dies, the local natives will have to perform a ritual to ensure the wendigo truly died and doesn't find another host.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

When Jack dies, the local natives will have to perform a ritual to ensure the wendigo truly died and doesn't find another host.

His ghost however, will permanently haunt the lands forever.
And by lands, I mean the nearest Ribeye restaurant.

 

[Freya]

church meat

 

[Whaler]

When Jack dies, the local natives will have to perform a ritual to ensure the wendigo truly died and doesn't find another host.

They say you have to burn the heart to completely kill off a Wendigo and destroy the evil spirits so they don't take over another person. I just hope Tammy and the towns local PD know this.