- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Except Mushbrain spelled it "Springfeild" on his thumbnail.
Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
- Thread starter Gentlebastard
- Start date
I suppose that makes sense. I'm not familiar with dealing with people so fat they can't fucking breathe properly. It also probably doesn't help that his lungs are partially full of barbecue sauce. Someone above mentioned they were amazing how he manages to inhale his food and not choke to death, he probably actually does have food matter in his lungs.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2021
Is this the laziest review he's done? It feels like he literally said nothing other than "meat gud". I mean...I know he's incredibly lazy on a regular basis but this feels like a whole new sub basement of lazy.
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2023
Judging by that slack-jawed stare, "hot spot" must mean any place where he stroked out again after eating. Fud so gud it'll make you blow another vein in your brain!
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2021
I mean to be fair Jack has a big mouth. He can fit his whole foot in it!
Comma
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2018
He's completely covered in dandruff or some shit.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
That picture also represents a situation Jack never found himself in in his life.
I wonder if not being able to taste would slow Jack down at all.
In the past he has implied that he can't always taste the food.
I have heard that people who lose their sense of smell tend to lose quite a bit of weight, because eating becomes less of an enjoyable activity, and more like work you have to do to keep going.
Willie Mae's
Damn is that exterior grim. The food looks homemade, but not in a good way.
It's a pile of shredded meat, I'm sure fatty will A+ it.
The eye is drooping like crazy, I'll bet that's why the video cut out early.
Sure enough, A+
As to fatty vaping, I wouldn't be surprised if that's meat sweats evaporating off lardo.
In the past he has implied that he can't always taste the food.
I have heard that people who lose their sense of smell tend to lose quite a bit of weight, because eating becomes less of an enjoyable activity, and more like work you have to do to keep going.
Willie Mae's
Damn is that exterior grim. The food looks homemade, but not in a good way.
It's a pile of shredded meat, I'm sure fatty will A+ it.
The eye is drooping like crazy, I'll bet that's why the video cut out early.
Sure enough, A+
As to fatty vaping, I wouldn't be surprised if that's meat sweats evaporating off lardo.
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
His rating scale is so funny. He barely goes anywhere below A, so anything below that is horrible (I guess).
A+: Gud fud
A: Gud fud
A-: Ok fud
B+: might as well just close the fucking restaurant at this point.
F: Kill yourself.
A+: Gud fud
A: Gud fud
A-: Ok fud
B+: might as well just close the fucking restaurant at this point.
F: Kill yourself.
C- = Price for entree was over $17.50, Din-din was over $50, not enough meat, waitress did not wipe his mouth OR tie a bib on him.
"werb not coming back, that's for shur" Staff lets out a sigh of relief, they have weathered the storm.
"werb not coming back, that's for shur" Staff lets out a sigh of relief, they have weathered the storm.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2018
A+ only applies to places that serve him lots of meat portions.
This one was very predictable because the moment I saw the Brisket on the menu, Jack was going to act like the restaurant was the best one of all time.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021
It'd be fun if someone pointed Jack at Ordinary Sausage's moderate success.
Jack would see the handfuls of meat and sausages, not the personality/sense of humor, one thing leads to another, and then Jack's down a couple of fingers.
Dead Air
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 6, 2021
I've been to Willie Maes. It's good. Real good. I hate going in there though cause the place stinks to high heaven like a smoker and once you have gone through the door you will smell like it for three days, minimum. They also close if they sell out, which I understand, but it's hard to judge whether you can go there and eat or not if it's say, 1pm. I haven't watched the video but I'm sure fatty got there the second the doors unlocked. The owner though, he gives no fucks about people. Think soup nazi. I knew fatty would end up there eventually, and I was kinda hoping he'd mouth off or something and get thrown out on his ass.
densedance
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 26, 2021
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2023
"Gotta put something in my mouth to live"
Yeah, dick at an LA bathhouse. With how effeminate and faggy he sounds when he isn't slurring like someone on a three-day bender I think Jack Jr. should ask for a paternity test. Unless he was one of those "lie back and think of San Francrisco" fags who have children with their beard for some inexplicable reason.
That being said, Rob's Country Lunch at Cracker Barrel was a masterpiece of trollcraft. Informative, fun, and dunking on this jabroni at the same time.
Super Hans v2
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
I don't know whether I'm unsurprised about the A+, or extremely so that Jack and TamHam didn't run (scoot, whatever) out the door after 2:07.
I wonder, if you put Jack on rations, how long would he last? That's something I'd actually like to see, but you'd have to go full truman show, lock him in a bunker, and tell him the world ended.
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2020
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2021
We interrupt your existences to bring you this breaking news bulletin: Minor internet celebrity Jack Scalfani has farted himself to death in a tragic event his fans called a "Parking Lot Review" that took place in Nashville last Wednesday near the Taco Bell by I-440.
6 people have been pronounced dead with dozens more in critical condition after eye witness accounts reported a shockwave that could be heard for over fifty miles. It's estimated that $78 million dollars in damages was done to nearby homes and businesses in the form of broken windows and dislocated structural support in an event locals are now calling the Great Clapping of the Cheeks.
6 people have been pronounced dead with dozens more in critical condition after eye witness accounts reported a shockwave that could be heard for over fifty miles. It's estimated that $78 million dollars in damages was done to nearby homes and businesses in the form of broken windows and dislocated structural support in an event locals are now calling the Great Clapping of the Cheeks.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
And again large portions of meat means the place gets an A+.
Sure it might be good as others have said but let's get real here, Jagoff Scalfatty is not to be trusted when it comes to rating food.