Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 198 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 794 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,395
He will be a human egg, and then receive a strange egg shaped amulet with human features arrayed haphazardly on it.
At which point he will demand Tammy fry it up with a pound of bacon and pour him a glass of the grease to drink with his keto bacon and eggs
 
Damn just look to the left of that pic at Tammy jr. She's gaining so fast.
She definitely has blown up
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No, it's an old meme but it checks out. Jack doesn't know what Lasagna is. He does know what roulette means, but fuck the audience, he'll do thumb through cookbook, wherever he likes, he'll stop.

Holy fuck he looks pissed.
He looks empty and lost, just like when Jack would drag him to all the restaurants at theme parks as a child, to get the child pricing. I'm fairly sure he told the restaurant employees Jr. "wasn't hungry". I wonder if Jr. ever got to go on any rides, or if it was restaurant to restaurant, then they leave.
I'm betting it's the second one.
 
Recipe Roulette with Jack - wk 5 (Is this really Lasagna?)

This time Jack decided to name a normal pasta recipe a lasagna recipe for no reason. Probably his brain becoming fully mush.
Lazy Man's Lasagna is a classic episode.

But yes, he was mushbrained back then, too.

Edit: Rob continues to be a master class in trolling. God bless him.
 
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Holy fuck he looks pissed.
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Unless he won it, what possible reason would anybody have to get this when he needs to fly home?

And he seriously looks like a faggot.

Damn just look to the left of that pic at Tammy jr. She's gaining so fast.
It's what happens when you're a Scalfatty.

Also....Jack Jr. wearing a "Property of Iron Paradise" sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off to showcase his pythons....Jesus Christ....
ALL his sleeves are cut off to show his guns. But... there's no definition there to be impressed with. He's got some size but his arms look more fat than anything else.

I never considered that but I could totally see Jack becoming an apostle
Could you imagine? He'd be one with a giant mouth with prehensile tongue that just eats anybody in front of him.
 
Unless he won it, what possible reason would anybody have to get this when he needs to fly home?

And he seriously looks like a faggot.


It's what happens when you're a Scalfatty.


ALL his sleeves are cut off to show his guns. But... there's no definition there to be impressed with. He's got some size but his arms look more fat than anything else.


Could you imagine? He'd be one with a giant mouth with prehensile tongue that just eats anybody in front of him.
Jack Jr. Has the arms of a 45 year old peri-menopausal Goodwill cashier.
 
I know it's ancient history, but I wonder why Jack is pissed off in the lazy man lasagna video. He'd just go flatface now, but he is visibly angry.
I forgot the audible shitting noises the sauce made. That's funny.
I always find cheese melted into sauce revolting, like snot. The cheese SHOULD go on top, as an accent, not a filler.

Then again, Jack mostly focuses on the filler.

I was not raised in a home that emphasized cooking, so I didn't know that sauce is supposed to be on top of spaghetti, I used to get stupid mad if the noodles weren't swimming in sauce. But those are the thoughts of a child.

Audible shitting noise again when Jack puts the food in the tinfoil containers.

It's also before the one bite era, Jack's Rainforest Cafe plate would probably serve 3.
 
I know it's ancient history, but I wonder why Jack is pissed off in the lazy man lasagna video. He'd just go flatface now, but he is visibly angry.
If I had to guess, I'd say it's because Jack Jr. was a little retard even then and didn't bother to tell Jack until the last minute he had to bring a dish to school tomorrow morning, leading both to Jack's (understandably) getting pissed off and (unforgivably) making such a bastardized, garbage excuse for an "international" meal.
 
That's way too charitable towards Jack. I'm imagining something went wrong off camera.

As to Rob, I don't think he's ever pulled a punch, in the comments on the roulette lasagna, he mentions that Jack's Mom was a Welfare Mom, and that Daddy Scalfani was a rolling stone. (possibly literally) He's not a concern troll, he's stating the fucking obvious. Jack is rotting like a Jack-o-lantern left out on a porch.
(Fucking autocorrect thought I meant bunch instead of punch.)
 
Lazy Man's Lasagna is a classic episode.

But yes, he was mushbrained back then, too.

Edit: Rob continues to be a master class in trolling. God bless him.
I had never seen this episode.

I'm not going to powerlevel too much, but Ive had experience lancing cysts on sheep. I am not lying to you guys when I say that both the color and consistency of his "lazy lasagna" was exactly the same as what came out of those sheep.

I think this video makes my top grossest Jack list. Even higher than his bloody bake in bag chicken.
 
I'm not going to powerlevel too much, but Ive had experience lancing cysts on sheep. I am not lying to you guys when I say that both the color and consistency of his "lazy lasagna" was exactly the same as what came out of those sheep.

I think this video makes my top grossest Jack list. Even higher than his bloody bake in bag chicken.
Three pounds of white cheeses for two pounds of pasta. It's more cheese than grain! That gross pink color when he churns the overcooked noodles is just nauseating, it reminds me of what would be in the bottom of the trash bins when the pasta station at the place I worked as a janitor in college threw out the leftovers at the end of the shift.

Rob's interpretation of the recipe actually looks good but it seems like it would be really bland with two mild cheeses like ricotta and mozzarella. Swap the mozzarella for a reasonable amount of pecorino and this would be a pretty good lazy man's recipe.
 
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