Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[MontaShaft]

Another copy: 231021 - Balldo's FIRST STAND UP (Odysee)

THX BROTHER

 

[AnOminous]

View attachment 5443345
woah buddy.... slow down. Nick can definitely have an erection, after all, he made five kids, unless you are insinuating that it is his wife's boyfriends' kids

That was pre-Balldo era. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if one or more of his kids look like the mailman.

Another copy: 231021 - Balldo's FIRST STAND UP (Odysee)

Dude. He really sternly said (with his Balldo on) that he didn't give anyone PERMISSION to do that!

 

[A Cardboard Box]

I assume you're supposed to pile drive your girl with it, only with your balls. So you'd be slamming down on them while their have their legs up. That really doesn't sound very fun.

The thing that really worries me is the obvious risk of Epididymitis, which is the inflammation of the little coiled duct that connects the balls to the shaft. Most of the time it's caused by infection but it can also be caused by trauma from something like rough sex. I've never dealt with it myself, but when I was in emergency medicine, we got people in the ER that were dealing with it, and they all told me the same thing, which is that the pain is unbearably excruciating.

This thing seems like it's literally designed to give a man trauma related Epididymitis, considering you're strapping on a rubber prosthesis and putting direct torsion on the exact part of the anatomy which causes it.

Potentially NSFW. It's a medical diagram of the anatomy in question.

 

[Harm]

L | A

In reply to a video about a woman literally crying because she had to commute to work. The logic is getting so bad that it's layered in awfulness. Virtually no impressions either. I'd be shocked if he makes a penny from this awful tweet. Not even 500 views combined. Yeesh.

That's not even a proper sentence in the second tweet.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

For the record, he worked for three years in his entire adult life that way.

Dude may not be a practicing lawyer but he sure does live like a practicing champagne socialist!

 

[Geared Chris]

Spoiler: Somewhat NSFW visual aid

View attachment 5442909

Not real genitalia, but I'm gonna spoiler it anyways.

The two rings you see are apparently optional, and used if you want to make the "ball penis" (for lack of a better term) part longer.

Okay, this forum IS officially autistic re sex toys.

The penis-made balls are meant to go into the vagina. The penis is meant to externally arouse the clit. I can't speak for whether a flaccid ED-challenged male can achieve that dual stimulus.

Nick made this all pretty clear. And, no, I'm not recapping that stream, but I remember it.

Edit to Add: Kayla reported serious satisfaction, as per Nick.

 

[Peace Through Power]

Edit to Add: Kayla reported serious satisfaction, as per Nick.

I'm starting to think Jim's theory on the balldo is right

 

[Neetorino]

View attachment 5443439
L | A

In reply to a video about a woman literally crying because she had to commute to work. The logic is getting so bad that it's layered in awfulness. Virtually no impressions either. I'd be shocked if he makes a penny from this awful tweet. Not even 500 views combined. Yeesh.

That's not even a proper sentence in the second tweet.

This motherfucker pays for Xitter Blue. Why the fuck is he not using the edit function that payment gets you? I can't imagine the follow up tweets are able to gain that much adrev to make it worth just not having spelling errors in the original tweet.

Also it's a proper "Nick sentence", I can hear his unique inflections in the way the sentence is structured since he types like he speaks.

 

[feral cat #6385]

Okay, this forum IS officially autistic re sex toys.

The penis-made balls are meant to go into the vagina. The penis is meant to externally arouse the clit. I can't speak for whether a flaccid ED-challenged male can achieve that dual stimulus.

Nick made this all pretty clear. And, no, I'm not recapping that stream, but I remember it.

Edit to Add: Kayla reported serious satisfaction, as per Nick.

You know a bit TOO much about the Baldo. I'm starting to have concerns.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

View attachment 5443293

Fucking hell, now I'm appalled AND have the Scrubs Feels. Thanks a lot jackass.

The thing that really worries me is the obvious risk of Epididymitis, which is the inflammation of the little coiled duct that connects the balls to the shaft. Most of the time it's caused by infection but it can also be caused by trauma from something like rough sex. I've never dealt with it myself, but when I was in emergency medicine, we got people in the ER that were dealing with it, and they all told me the same thing, which is that the pain is unbearably excruciating.

TMI moment incoming: I've had this. It is by far the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. The walk in clinic sent me to the ER thinking it was testicular torsion where a black lady doctor proceeded to try to "fix" the problem before doing an ultrasound or whatever the fuck to confirm which hurt even worse. (If I wasn't racist before I am after that.) It was waves and waves of rolling pain that spread up the entire left side of my body.

Worst ER experience ever tied with the time my body decided it was going to have a stroke before miraculously getting better.

 

[AnOminous]

Nick Rekieta will never be able to stop drinking and that’s a fucking fact. He is enslaved to beverages and proud of it!

Yet another way that he's a nigger. Maybe he's not lying about that. He is, after all, a slave. Completely powerless against Demon Rum.

 

[thebigdream]

View attachment 5443439
L | A

In reply to a video about a woman literally crying because she had to commute to work. The logic is getting so bad that it's layered in awfulness. Virtually no impressions either. I'd be shocked if he makes a penny from this awful tweet. Not even 500 views combined. Yeesh.

That's not even a proper sentence in the second tweet.

"Duurrrrr no one needs to work or study, wake up sheeple", just become an anarchist already Nick. People who say shit like this really think they've struck genius, but it's always a projection of their own inability to engage with these institutions. Working a job must be bad because I'm bad at it, and I'm great!

 

[Neetorino]

So I'm running through the footage on 4x speed, looking for anything potentially funny, when I noticed that Nick has two preferred stances/walks.

The first one is this little gay shuffle he does with one hand in his pocket. He also tends to look at the ground or over in the direction where I believe the emcee is sitting, I can't imagine either way is very engaging to the audience.
I also just like how this stance is almost exactly the soy cuck stance, it's very fitting.


The second one is him hooding his eyes constantly. At first I thought it was because of the lights being on and he's blocking it out without realizing it was his cue to fuck off. But then I noticed that it happens pretty early on in the set too, so I'm more thinking he got a good amount of liquid courage before going on and once on stage, causing the brightness of any light to hurt his eyes enough to cover them.
Or it could be because he's nervous of seeing normal people react to a particularly edgy joke, I've got it totally muted so I couldn't say.


Smug faggot probably thinks he's the funniest guy on earth for the first few minutes, then the jokes land less and the hecklers prove to be funnier.


At least we know Riley gave Nick some good loving after for being such a brave boy. Look at that lack of bias on Nick's face, and Riley's clear affection. Can you believe that people thought Nick was impartial on Riley v Eric?

Edit: I'm throwing in a clip to show just what I mean. This is the section where we transition from Disabled jokes to Racist jokes, and has the black guy doing Drexel's "Nick Nick" thing. During this clip Nick does both the soy walk and the face shield. For someone who is has done two stage shows you think he'd be a little better on the fly, since we all know he did zero planning for either of those shows too.

Spoiler: The Racism Bit

 

[jspit2.0]

View attachment 5443439
L | A

In reply to a video about a woman literally crying because she had to commute to work. The logic is getting so bad that it's layered in awfulness. Virtually no impressions either. I'd be shocked if he makes a penny from this awful tweet. Not even 500 views combined. Yeesh.

That's not even a proper sentence in the second tweet.

Wasn't he a small firm private lawyer? He owned his own business and he was only working from nine to five? Motherfucker, if you own a business try six to six six days a week for like twenty years minimum. That nine to five Monday through Friday is a cake walk compared to being a private sector buisnessman.

This guy has live-streamer brain rot. The 9-5 is taking less potential money for stability/less waking hours wasted. But he never should have worked that if he actually was a real small business owner.

 

[AltisticRight]

This thing seems like it's literally designed to give a man trauma related Epididymitis, considering you're strapping on a rubber prosthesis and putting direct torsion on the exact part of the anatomy which causes it.

Sektur chat had a discussion earlier in the year when Balldo first advertised the Balldo(r). We basically came to the same conclusion.

It's usually caused by very rough sex, the patients are often embarrassed or have no shame and enthusiastically details the grotesque acts they engaged in.

I call it a pear of anguish for testicles.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

Sektur chat had a discussion earlier in the year when Balldo first advertised the Balldo(r). We basically came to the same conclusion.

It's usually caused by very rough sex, the patients are often embarrassed or have no shame and enthusiastically details the grotesque acts they engaged in.

I call it a pear of anguish for testicles.

Very good. I'm glad I wasn't the only one horrified by the potential medical complications. Seriously, you're putting way too much force on a very delicate part of the anatomy. I can feel my balls ascending into my abdomen kangaroo style just looking at this monstrosity.

 

[thebigdream]

"Y'all seen any niggers lately?"

 

[AltisticRight]

Very good. I'm glad I wasn't the only one horrified by the potential medical complications. Seriously, you're putting way too much force on a very delicate part of the anatomy. I can feel my balls ascending into my abdomen kangaroo style just looking at this monstrosity.

Embarrassed vs ehthusied, we all know which camp Balldo falls in. He might even give a live demonstration, to the absolute shock, horror, and then disgust of the medical staff.

This. Is the balldo.
This. Is how. You. Wear, the balldo.
You pull. The ring. Open.
You then. With a microscope. Manipulate. Your testicles. In.
Why. Do you ask. I need. A microscope?
You. See. Stalker child. Karen.
My testicles. Are. Tiny.
I. Do not. Want. To use. A microscope.
But. I have to.

(Dr. Steinbergwitz: I miss the good ole days when we just zapped these freaks.)

 

[Ol' Slag]

Nick is the kind of dumbass that needs a hard life lesson to quit drinking. He needs to wrap his car around a telephone pole or lose his wife and kids to make him quit drinking.

It's an absolute bitch to quit drinking but you gotta have stones to do it. I don't think Nick has the stones.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

It's an absolute bitch to quit drinking but you gotta have stones to do it. I don't think Nick has the stones.

Nick loves bourbon more than he loves his own kids. That’s why, when forced to choose, he prioritizes getting wasted over his kids’ safety and well-being. He will never, ever be able to stop drinking.

Any bets on whether they’re retarded enough to give their oldest a new car when he gets his license, just to get out of driving so much?