EU Students demand sex holes at university - "The University of Augsburg is in a tizzy over a wicked proposal: at today's Convention meeting, students are calling for the construction of so-called "gloryholes" - holes in the wall for anonymous sex."


Translated from German via Deepl

Is there a hole in the fun?

The University of Augsburg is in a tizzy over a wicked proposal: at today's Convention meeting, students are calling for the construction of so-called "gloryholes" - holes in the wall for anonymous sex. At first glance, the motion sounds like satire.

Or does it?

A university employee told BILD: "The proposers are so woke, they don't mean it as a joke." The unusual initiative was brought in by several students who are active in the "Queer Department" of the University of Augsburg, where they campaign for gays and lesbians.

The application, which is available to BILD, states: "Three gloryholes are to be built in the lecture hall center opposite the entrance, where the information boards are currently located." This is a hole in a wall that will be used for anonymous sex. The students also already have a plan for cleaning: building management may lend a hand.

The students further demand: "In addition, the gloryholes should be soundproof and opaque. The gloryholes should be designed to be as barrier-free as possible - the height should be adjustable, there should be wall handles to hold onto." "Condoms, lick wipes, lubricants and disinfectant and wipes" should also be provided, the motion says.

The students are responding to a high demand with their request, they write in their justification. On a "wish wall" of the AstA, the holes had been requested most often.

In addition, the students explain, "Building the gloryholes allows the university to be understood as a heteronormativity-critical space because kink is to be understood as a non-heteronormative practice."

Uh, excuse me? BILD explains: the English word "kink" generally stands for "deviant sexual preferences and fantasies." Since these are not only lived out by heterosexual students, gloryholes would somehow also "contribute to diversification on campus, since kink could thus also be experienced or lived out at the university." Sex could also be relaxing, which could create a more positive atmosphere on campus.

Moaning instead of studying!

Anything but positive sees the "Ring Christlich-Demokratischer-Studenten Augsburg e.V.", (RCDS Augsburg) the request, wrote already a round email to students and the president of the university, Prof. Dr. Sabine Doering-Manteuffel. The RCDS Augsburg: "Referring to the public email of the Student Convention, we as the Freedom Democratic List take a stand and firmly reject the establishment of Gloryholes at the University of Augsburg."

Gloryholes at a university are "highly scandalous and unacceptable" and would represent a serious violation of ethical and moral standards.
So far, the proposers are sticking to their proposal. All hollow words or an airtight demand? At 6 p.m. tonight, the Convention will decide on the Gloryholes.
 
To be completely fair this sounds like trolling. If my uni put up some leftist bullshit and claimed they must respond to all student enquiries, I'd put one forth to make kiwifarms.net the homepage and put up giant neon signs of TTD with flashing colours, also get away with men and women bathrooms but instead put XX and XY and issue a DNA test pass so XX can't get into XY and vice versa.

Then invest in targetted high pressure fire extinguishers to blast all the smokers and vapours on the premise with hydrochloric acid.

Have a vax pass to enter the buildings, invalid certificate = trapdoor dropped into the IVF lab for harvesting. Actually, this one might get approved.

We're stem fags afterall. I might get called in but it'll be funny.
 
A university employee told BILD: "The proposers are so woke, they don't mean it as a joke." The unusual initiative was brought in by several students who are active in the "Queer Department" of the University of Augsburg, where they campaign for gays and lesbians.
I think there are more important issues for gays and if there aren't then it kind of makes the gay club obsolete, doesn't it? Why not give out free HPV vaccines or something?
The application, which is available to BILD, states: "Three gloryholes are to be built in the lecture hall center opposite the entrance, where the information boards are currently located." This is a hole in a wall that will be used for anonymous sex. The students also already have a plan for cleaning: building management may lend a hand.
This is a bathroom right? Pawning off the cleaning on janitors is not "a plan for cleaning", it's just adding more work when they already have to clean gross poopy bathrooms, puke, old stinking splattered piss etc Not very progressive either, they expect the overworked working class to clean up their literal piss, cum and shit. I'm not saying they should be allowed to have an official gloryhole but if they want it they could at least volunteer to clean it themselves.
The students further demand: "In addition, the gloryholes should be soundproof and opaque. The gloryholes should be designed to be as barrier-free as possible - the height should be adjustable, there should be wall handles to hold onto." "Condoms, lick wipes, lubricants and disinfectant and wipes" should also be provided, the motion says.
Soundproof and opaque? So is it supposed to be an independent gloryhole and not even a bathroom? No one is going to want to use a see through bathroom stall if this is supposed to be integrated into an existing washroom. Soundproof sounds like an engineering challenge and they expect the university to pay for this.
Condoms, wipes, lube etc. should be the responsibility of the student. I'm not against health centers giving them out or something but you shouldn't expect a custom made gloryhole with free shit that dummies will just steal. Why should everyone's tuition be paying for this when some students will never use it?
edit: opaque means not see through and I somehow mixed it up with translucent. So basically they are gay but want to be fancy about it and have a hyper private gloryhole but in a non-private sounding area???
 
This is a bathroom right? Pawning off the cleaning on janitors is not "a plan for cleaning", it's just adding more work when they already have to clean gross poopy bathrooms, puke, old stinking splattered piss etc Not very progressive either, they expect the overworked working class to clean up their literal piss, cum and shit. I'm not saying they should be allowed to have an official gloryhole but if they want it they could at least volunteer to clean it themselves.
Members of the proletariat should be honored by the opportunity to be of service to the revolutionary vanguard.
 
Parodies are no longer parodies. Clown world keeps on spinning, at least we got a soundtrack for the insanity.
 
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Can zoomers not just fuck like normal people? I've been led to believe zoomers are hypersexual but are they so fucked up they can't even have sex normally?
>zoomers
>hypersexual
Most of them fuck less than your parents did. They just come across that way because they're all porn sick phone addicts.
 
I mean... considering the alternative?
The uh... rampant crossdressing of Wehrmacht soldiers on leave?
At least not at the restaurant, rest assured, a German without a weird kink is like a duck without webbed feet.
Goering very clearly self-identified as a zeppelin. Naturally those bigoted Americans denied him that and put him on a diet while in captivity.
 
I'd think something like an adjustable panel mounted inside the wall would work, but there is always the risk of it being a cock guillotine.
It's not a bug, it's a feature.
 
The fuck is wrong with Germans?
I preferred the 40's version.
Why does that not surprise me on this forum 😂 😆 😝
You put a stack of phonebooks near the hole. So that manlets can reach.
I seem to recall some old eFukt video where this dude was trying to get sucked off through a GH but his peen0r was too smol. Pretty funny but also sad.
 
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Why get so mad and serious about this? This isn't politics! Prank or not, this is the funniest thing I heard this week!
 
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My brother in christ, you got fake newsed, the Bild is by far the least trustworthy (((news)))paper in Germany
They are very welll known for making shit up on the regular and breaking every journalistic code of conduct there is. It is alleged that they are called Bild and not Bild-news because it would be illigal for them to do so.
They are BuzzFeed tier if not worse
They rarely just make stuff up (I‘d say about as often as the normal newspapers do), but yeah they embellish and try hard to hit the lowest common denominator.

But what they also do is report about things that the other (((journos))) want to hide. They were for example the ones to break the silence on the cologne mass rapes, forcing the hand of the other newspapers.
Don’t fall for the psyop.
 
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Frankfurt School
I suspect the likes of Horkheimer and Adorno would think unrestricted sexual gratification plays into the hand of capitalist ideology, while Benjamin would rather people become sexual flâneurs than them going to the same place for anonymous sex.
 
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you faggots couldn't group-engineer an adjustable gloryhole if 6 million lives depended on it. the solution is quite simple: the gloryhole itself is 1 foot off the ground and the wall is set on soft soil. there is a shovel in the room so each patron digs deep enough to where his or her individual dick lines up with the hole. the janitorial staff can put the dirt back in after-- that is why there are 3 of them, to avoid wait times

this "doppel-hollen" or double hole, first described in 1000 Plateaus, promotes fitness and also encourages contemplation of mortality since it's a bit like digging one's own grave. plus, the perpendicularly mirrored act of getting in a hole that allows you to then protrude through a different hole in hopes of being encompassed by a third, human hole is foundational feng shui
 
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