🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Truly Rural]

Pig eating corn? Well I'll be damned.

 

[Um...]

That food looks really unappetizing btw

What even is that? sliced pepperoni that’s been sitting out for hours? It’s all curled up and dried out. And what is the rest of that sad plate? It all looks depressing and sad.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

That food looks really unappetizing btw
View attachment 5453329
What even is that? sliced pepperoni that’s been sitting out for hours? It’s all curled up and dried out. And what is the rest of that sad plate? It all looks depressing and sad.

I see scrambled eggs, mexican salami, cheddar cheese, texas toast, tortilla chips, and maybe a tamale wrapper (maize husk)

 

[Fornicario]

Pig eating corn? Well I'll be damned.

He's gotta bulk up for the 4H fair. He needs the prize money.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

I see scrambled eggs, mexican salami, cheddar cheese, texas toast, tortilla chips, and maybe a tamale wrapper (maize husk)

And a fake sugar packet. Disgusting. I can see Ralph using that thinking he’s saving calories when he drinks his fatty milk coffees.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

There's absolutely no way he wouldn't be shooting his mouth off about it and facedoxing this individual if he thought this was a genuine person he had a real shot with.

Fatass is just eating for 2.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I was coping and sneeding in hopes that it was just Torta Man hanging out with Ralph, but there's great power in the number three. Coming to a Merida theater near you...

Bebé Demonio Tres: Masacre de Torta

 

[bile demon]

Spoiler

 

[Fornicario]

There's absolutely no way he wouldn't be shooting his mouth off about it and facedoxing this individual if he thought this was a genuine person he had a real shot with.

Fatass is just eating for 2.

At least she's not Puerto Rican.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

That food looks really unappetizing btw
View attachment 5453329
What even is that? sliced pepperoni that’s been sitting out for hours? It’s all curled up and dried out. And what is the rest of that sad plate? It all looks depressing and sad.

Ralph can't afford a meal like that. Chances are he snapped this pic and raided the table like some 5 foot, fat, retarded raccoon; leaving Mr and Mrs John Q Tourist with nothing but crumbs and hog slobber on their plates to greet them upon their return.

 

[Fornicario]

Ralph can't afford a meal like that. Chances are he snapped this pic and raided the table like some 5 foot, fat, retarded raccoon; leaving Mr and Mrs John Q Tourist with nothing but crumbs and hog slobber on their plates to greet them upon their return.

What's sad is I'm not doubting he wouldn't do that, but I'm doubting he would have taken a picture. I'm thinking he snuck into a buffet of some sort. It would explain the relative feast before him. Those could very well be someone else's drink while they went back to the trough for a reload.

 

[Um...]

I see scrambled eggs, mexican salami, cheddar cheese, texas toast, tortilla chips, and maybe a tamale wrapper (maize husk)

Sounds like breakfast at Denny’s. Except Denny’s would probably be better, or at least not all dried out. A slice of salami, 2 of cheddar cheese, a handful of dry chips and a big hunk of ‘texas toast’? This is what this poor sad little manlet is flexing? Pitiful.

edit: all this plus a big glass of warm beer. What a baller. All those haters WISH they could live like this.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Cancun and Merida have a huge supply of cheap escorts. If he's not showing her off it's because he went with the very cheap package, as an extended stay would be quite pricey for an attractive one.

Or he’s nervous KF will dig up her online listing and prices. If he got a hooker he paid for the boyfriend experience. To be fair to Ralph paying a woman to be nice to him, listen to yammer and have sex with him is the only type of romantic relationship he has the emotional maturity to handle.

Or he’s just with his best friend tripod-San and eating for two, which is as easy to believe as hiring Mexican hooker.

This entire sad Twitter pic adventure is only due to Pantsu posting selfies. He lives and breathes pettiness and deep insecurity.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

This entire sad Twitter pic adventure is only due to Pantsu posting selfies. He lives and breathes pettiness and deep insecurity.

Honestly, it's a toss up between hiring an escort or staging a photo of a table for 2 just to attempt at making Pantsu jealous. I'd say it's 40/60. If it was an escort I imagine he'd show her off, so I'm leaning towards staged. Especially since there is no lipstick on any glass.

 

[Fannyscum]

Last time Ralph had to renew his car paperwork he took his Mexican lawyer with him on the eight hour return trip. The reason Ralph isn't showing his dinner date is because it's a middle aged Mexican man.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Holy shit live a little Ralph. We need more than (mercifully) uneaten salmonella eggs and toast and salami with a bite taken out of it to revive the sektur.

Spoiler: NSFW

Show us the Smexy mestizo. Or your ‘attorney’ who went with you last time you renewed your truck. @Fannyscum beat me by three minutes

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Ralph can't afford a meal like that.

Probably hit up some cheap buffet at a resort.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Last time Ralph had to renew his car paperwork he took his Mexican lawyer with him on the eight hour return trip. The reason Ralph isn't showing his dinner date is because it's a middle aged Mexican man.

Torta hombre gonna be celoso

 

[Um...]

Ralph can't afford a meal like that.

Does this look like an expensive meal to you? This Denny’s breakfast special-looking meal? This is exactly the kind of bargain bottom-tier meal poor Ralph can afford. He told on himself trying to flex. Tell us you’re poor without telling us, Walph.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Oh fuck we’re back to food critiques