Let's Sperg Wizardry : Kiwi Edition - A group of Kiwi's end up on another planet (and possibly in other wizardry games).

[c-no]

Wizardry 8 is one of my favorite CRPG's of all time. After @Jaimas shared with me a Darkest Dungeon screenshot and mentioning how he had some party members named after a few Kiwi's, I decided to try something similar but with Wizardry 8. The party consist of myself(gnome alchemist), @Jaimas (human Lord, more or less group leader), @Oglooger (Dwarf), @Broseph Stalin ( Rawulf priest.he and Oglooger will eventually cross-class into something else besides myself and Ntwadumela), @DynamiteNinja (the gadgeteer whose more or less the only one to use a gun. Also a Hobbit), and @Ntwadumela (Ninja of the group and Felpurr. Ninja's in Wizardry have a chance of instant-kill though this game allows it through certain weapons and with the monk class as well. Also will change Ntwadumela into a samurai once I level him up).

Due to how far I made it in the game, I decided to at least share screenshots so as to back up what happened. I only have them for the Rattkin encounter and meeting the Dark Savant.

- Our band of Kiwi's join an alien on some expedition to another planet. Ship crashes, alien dies but we all live.
-The band explores the monastery only to find out that under some destiny, they have to fight an evil known as the Dark Savant. If they succeed, they could ascend and become gods if they win.
-Raid an empty monastery and leave it for a nearby town after encountering the only merchant within the building.
-We fart around the town, working for a thief, saving a scantily clad warrior woman from robots.
-Travel to a village of rodents, agreed to kill invasive rat people.
-Join two opposing alien factions.
-Now have to grind so the party doesn't end up gimped.

Spoiler: Screenshots of the misadventure

Our band of Kiwis. Note the fact that two of them are furries and three are fantasy creatures. The robot is a recruited NPC who can end up being a good ally when you level him up enough

To help the Trynnie's, the local rodent people, we have to kill the Rattkin breeders. Note the fact that we have to kill whats essentially the baby factories of the Rattkin.

We steal an important plot item and swap it out with a fake one. It's needed if we are to fight the Savant and become gods.

Don Barlone is the leader of the Rattkin and a tough boss. We'll fight him later since he dodges most of our attacks for now. One thing to note is that when you speak to an NPC, you can say fuck you to them and they have their own response.

Out of all Kiwi's, Jaimas is the only one that died. It was due to being killed by a Rattkin breeder. Thankfully, Oglooger revived him.

The Dark Savant. Main antagonist and an all-around evil prick. He confronts us thinking we stole from him until he realizes we're just a bunch of idiots.

 

[Jaimas]

KIWIS ARE YOU READY TO ADVEEEEENTUUUUUURE?!

 

[AnOminous]

The only real Wizardry is the original Wizardry where the graphics consisted of HPLOT commands in Applesoft BASIC.

 

[c-no]

The only real Wizardry is the original Wizardry where the graphics consisted of HPLOT commands in Applesoft BASIC.

All other Wizardry games are derivatives. Even the Japanese who tried to keep the series going can only make derivatives, even to the point of creating an MMO of Wizardry.

 

[Bgheff]

The only real Wizardry is the original Wizardry where the graphics consisted of HPLOT commands in Applesoft BASIC.

The first one is the only one I played. Loved that game as a lad. Except trying to get the blue ribbon, that was tough.

 

[AnOminous]

The first one is the only one I played. Loved that game as a lad. Except trying to get the blue ribbon, that was tough.

I only got that by cheating.

It taught me a valuable lesson.

Getting things just by cheating isn't satisfying at all.

 

[c-no]

Quick Update: For the first time, I attempted on of the Retro Dungeons of Wizardry 8.

To enter the dungeon, the group had to find the tombstones that had these blue symbols. This is one of them.

After finding all the blue symbols, we go to a corner and stick a dagger in it.

Once that was done, we step onto a mushroom patch. It took us to a new world.

It begins.

I remember a screenshot of the Wizardry MMO having a wireframe looking dungeon. While Wizardry 8 doesn't have wireframes, the dungeon itself does try to harken back to old Wizardry games. Needless to say, there were so far, no encounters with friendly enemies.

We do fight a small variety of foes in this dark dungeon. This Morax was one of them.

That wraps it up for the update. I might try to explore more of the dungeon before grinding the party and hoping this band of autist adventurers can brave the Rapax Rift.

 

[DuskEngine]

I blame women for all my personal failings!

 

[BurningPewter]

They are not to blame for your fails. They are to blame for all of mankind's fails. JK GISE

 

[Linako 2.0]

I still can't et over how one of the hobbit portraits (the one you used for Dynamite) looks alot like my math teacher from high school
Also you forgot to mention Gregor. HOW DID YOU GET PAST GREGOR SO EASILY lel

 

[Mimic]

Just popped in to say if any of my brothers wreck your day, no hard feelings, eh?

 

[c-no]

I still can't et over how one of the hobbit portraits (the one you used for Dynamite) looks alot like my math teacher from high school
Also you forgot to mention Gregor. HOW DID YOU GET PAST GREGOR SO EASILY lel

Simple, the gnome alchemist c-no had a sleep spell on hand. Also, Oglooger ( and possibly Broseph, if he had it at this time) used the paralysis spell.

Just popped in to say if any of my brothers wreck your day, no hard feelings, eh?

Unfortunately, there are no mimics in the game. Trapped chest do have the possibility of throwing an elemental at you though.

 

[c-no]

Returning back the LP, here's what happened so far:

-The Kiwi's explore the retro dungeon before using a portal spell to leave for the Rattkin Bough in Trynton via @Broseph Stalin.
-The Kiwi's stir up some furry genocide in killing some Rattkin before going back to the Trynnies. We report back to the Trynnie that wanted us to kill the breeders. He ends up being a new recruit but we promptly ditch him because he sucks and we already got a gadgeteer. He mentions something we already know, resulting in wasted gold (and finding his "good friend" to be a crock of shit).
-We meet the Shaman in person and then again after taking some drugs (it's a bit of sequence breaking more or less, still some XP to be had regardless).

After debating with myself over whether or not to even try, our Kiwi's brave against Don Barlone.

@Oglooger makes a premonition that is more or less true. This is a boss enemy and he's annoying due to repeat dodges, even when close to death's door.

Thankfully, Lord (and only tank) @Jaimas lands the killing blow after reloading the game twice. * @DynamiteNinja deserves thanks for even damaging the furry scum thanks to being buffed and using better stones for his gun

We finally gotten the Astral Dominae. All we can do now at this point is get the Destinae Dominus but that has to wait since we have some quest for the Umpani and T'rang. Not to mention the fact that we need to deal with the Rapax.

One thing to note with the game is that everytime you exit, you get an advertisement for a PC manufacturer that still goes on to this day. Perhaps the samurai on it is @Ntwadumela after cross-classing.

 

[c-no]

After resuming play, I finished some Umpani and T'rang quest

Finishing up the quest for the Umpani, we get to meet General Yamir, leader of the Umpani, the race of space-faring military Rhinos.

General Yamir has a simple mission for us:Go under water and find out what happened to a missing team of Umpani. Needless to say, we find out later what happens to all but one.

After dealing with man-killing fishes, we finally meet the underwater boss, Nessie. The fight proves to annoying but not as bad as with Don Barlone. It was easier getting hits on it despite the high pool of health.

Although @Jaimas managed to some hits in, Nessie devoured him. It doesn't outright kill him but Jaimas would no doubt see it as a living hell since he may of ended up in a creepy fetish. Thankfully, @DynamiteNinja killed Nessie, freeing the team leader/Lord of party.

After the fight with the underwater boss, we proceed on, killing more killer fish and getting some good loot. I tried to grind in a fight with bucaneer ghost for a light sword but their ability to dodge and the fights dragging on discouraged me from that. Still got some good armor to either keep or sell.

Once we arrive in Bayjin, home of the Rynjin, things went to hell. While the local fishmen aren't too hard, resting in a hut was a mistake as a horde of crabs came to kill the party. Luckily, they were all finished off.

After that was over, we would assume the genocide on the proud and peaceful Rynjin (who obviously aren't going through any civil war or even trying to kill us on site).

We fight against the Rynjin chief and what was left of his guard.

After that, we left to the largest hut to rescue the surviving Umpani member (whose other squadmates were either killed by Nessie or the Rynjin). He more or less forces his way into the party.

We also come across a battered and bruised woman who turns out to be the last Helazoid, a race that consisted of more than just her in the previous Wizardry game. She's the only survivor of her group but she ends up biting the dust, effectively ending her race. Before she dies, she implores the group to challenge the Dark Savant. At least we get her banner and some loot.

After all that, it's back to the Umpani.

 

[c-no]

Continuing from where the Kiwi's left off, we drop Glumph off the General. You'd think the angry space rhino would chew his leader out but he just chickens out. We then get a mission from General Yamir to kill the T'rang. Though we could do that, we'd rather not for certain reasons.

After leaving the Umpani, we explore Arnika, giving the blacksmith some items to forge an Ebon Staff for myself. We also sell off some junk we don't need bogging the party down. After that, we then explore the area outside the Rapax rift. We end up meeting a dragon named Bela. He's been waiting to meet us for a very long time.

He then mentions what the Cosmic Forge is, a pen that literally writes of your destiny. He exposits the basic premise of the Bane from Wizardry 6.

Anyone familiar knows what he talking about. Otherwise, it's like this: The pen when used away from it's book will grant your wish akin to that of a cursed monkey's paw, hence being called "the Bane of the Cosmic Forge". It happened to the wizard Bela mentioned and it happened to the royal family of Llygamyn (basically the group of royals mentioned in the previous Wizardry games. Though the king only existed for the sixth entry.

Once we leave Bela, we use a portal @Broseph Stalin set at the sea caves to travel there. We end up fighting crabs at first but soon encounter a special enemy: The Crypt Keeper. The Crypt Keeper is just a "death-lord", more or less a skeleton wielding a fuck-huge sword with a helmet and the upper part of a cuirass with gauntlets, boots, and metal underwear. Despite the tough combat music, he went down like a weak bitch.

After pillaging the graves (and killing the ghost), @Jaimas ends up getting a flaming sword with ebony armor (both chest and legs) and crusader helm (basically a frog-mouth helm), leaving @Oglooger to using Bloodlust (after he gets cross-classed into a Lord), the light shield (best in-game shield), and the plain burgonet helmet. It's not too long that we meet the illusive Mad Marten.

Marten however turns out to be a ghost.

Once we tell Marten we came for him in search of knowledge, he tells us that he stole one of the three artifacts to give to our party. He then exposits why we are on Dominus: To oppose the Dark Savant, as both an embodiment of good and evil.

Once we're done talking to Marten, everyone gets enough XP to level up those that reached the next level. @Ntwadumela ends up holding the Destinae Dominus. Unlike Marten, the groups samurai doesn't go mad thanks to the special helmet we picked up in Trynton.

Up next is the Rapax Rift and Jaimas becoming a "sacrifice" to a demon goddess for the purpose of the group becoming templars for the Rapax. and Jaimas becoming something else along with being a templar for a demon goddess.

 

[c-no]

Upon entering the Rapax Rift for good, @Ntwadumela notes the lava being dangerous (as if this land wasn't already hell enough, the enviroment itself has to be against us)

While in can burn us to cinders, can it make @Jaimas and @Oglooger Lords of Cinder?

Starting of our exploration, we see a fat elemental of lava and rock pass by. We hear some screams before it leaves. We then find out it took a sacrifice and there is one left: a Rapax templar who more or less wants us to kill his demon goddess but not before helping him remove a mark for death.

Going the other way, the party fights some rapax of all sorts: samurai's, veterans, priestesses. All's well and dandy until we meet the Lava Lord.

As intimidating as he is, he went down easily. @DynamiteNinja blinded him after buffing our frontline fighters.

After killing the lava lord, we decide to proceed forward, not realizing I had the staff the disgraced Rapax Templar wanted (I gave him the staff after becoming a templar and killing his god but I'll get to that).

As a precaution, the party fights El Dorado, Al-Sedexuses door guard.

You'd think a demonic statue would be called El Diablo but instead he gets the name of a mythical city of gold.

Proceeding through another way, we decide to go to the Rapax Castle. It's within the castle things go to hell due to the huge number of Rapax, mainly samurais that love to spam spell that can kill our recruited party member. Luckily though, we make it to the non-hostile templar. He helps kickstart our initiation by telling us to speak to the templar that oversees it.

Either the Kiwi Party was brave to come to the temple of Al-Sedexus or just very, very stupid.

The initiation process consisted of killing six elementals. For every two elementals killed we had to answer to a rapax concubine's riddles.

After solving her riddles, we find out we have to sacrifice but not in the sense of spilling someones blood.

Eventually, we soon get the items needed to summon Al-Sedexus. @Jaimas is chosen as the sacrifice.

We use potion to summon Al-Sedexus. She is butterface incarnate.

At least Jaimas took one for the team as sacrifice.

Deviant.

After that, we soon find ourselves to be Templars. We then find out we can't leave the Rift (doing so will nerf Jaimas so it's off to confront his "lover").

Speaking to Al-Sedexus soon starts a fight. The templar overseeing our initiation did say the Rapax comes from her loins. That means she summons them. Luckily, DynamiteNinja paralyzed her thanks to his gun being OP. This allows everyone to gang up on her and kill her.

Either love made Jaimas crazy or he just couldn't get Al-Sedexus off his mind.

After that, we explore the castle and find out the Dark Savant has an alliance with the Rapax King. Thankfully, the king has a portal that leads to the Savant's Tower. This means we can disarm the planet destroying bomb. Only problem are the savant androids in the tower.

If this ran on a timer, we'd be shitting our pants trying to disarm this, hurt locker style.
View attachment 129488

Luckily, we disarmed the bomb and everyone got to level up. Before we can leave, the Savant's tower still had some guards. a behemoth included. The latter however fell to Ntwadumela.

He got to kill the only behemoth sized Savant minion.

With all this done, all that's left for the party is to visit the Rapax-away camp and deal with the Rapax king while saving the T'Rang and Umpani he has as prisoners. There's also the matter of maybe fighting an optional mini-boss in the area before the Rapax camp. Beyond all of that, the path to allowing our Kiwi's to become gods of the universe.

 

[Jaimas]

Upon entering the Rapax Rift for good, @Ntwadumela notes the lava being dangerous (as if this land wasn't already hell enough, the enviroment itself has to be against us)

While in can burn us to cinders, can it make @Jaimas and @Oglooger Lords of Cinder?
View attachment 129473

Starting of our exploration, we see a fat elemental of lava and rock pass by. We hear some screams before it leaves. We then find out it took a sacrifice and there is one left: a Rapax templar who more or less wants us to kill his demon goddess but not before helping him remove a mark for death.

Going the other way, the party fights some rapax of all sorts: samurai's, veterans, priestesses. All's well and dandy until we meet the Lava Lord.

As intimidating as he is, he went down easily. @DynamiteNinja blinded him after buffing our frontline fighters.
View attachment 129474

After killing the lava lord, we decide to proceed forward, not realizing I had the staff the disgraced Rapax Templar wanted (I gave him the staff after becoming a templar and killing his god but I'll get to that).

As a precaution, the party fights El Dorado, Al-Sedexuses door guard.

You'd think a demonic statue would be called El Diablo but instead he gets the name of a mythical city of gold.
View attachment 129475

Proceeding through another way, we decide to go to the Rapax Castle. It's within the castle things go to hell due to the huge number of Rapax, mainly samurais that love to spam spell that can kill our recruited party member. Luckily though, we make it to the non-hostile templar. He helps kickstart our initiation by telling us to speak to the templar that oversees it.

Either the Kiwi Party was brave to come to the temple of Al-Sedexus or just very, very stupid.
View attachment 129480

The initiation process consisted of killing six elementals. For every two elementals killed we had to answer to a rapax concubine's riddles.

After solving her riddles, we find out we have to sacrifice but not in the sense of spilling someones blood.
View attachment 129481

Eventually, we soon get the items needed to summon Al-Sedexus. @Jaimas is chosen as the sacrifice.

We use potion to summon Al-Sedexus. She is butterface incarnate.
View attachment 129482

At least Jaimas took one for the team as sacrifice.
View attachment 129483

Deviant.
View attachment 129484

After that, we soon find ourselves to be Templars. We then find out we can't leave the Rift (doing so will nerf Jaimas so it's off to confront his "lover").

Speaking to Al-Sedexus soon starts a fight. The templar overseeing our initiation did say the Rapax comes from her loins. That means she summons them. Luckily, DynamiteNinja paralyzed her thanks to his gun being OP. This allows everyone to gang up on her and kill her.

Either love made Jaimas crazy or he just couldn't get Al-Sedexus off his mind.
View attachment 129487

After that, we explore the castle and find out the Dark Savant has an alliance with the Rapax King. Thankfully, the king has a portal that leads to the Savant's Tower. This means we can disarm the planet destroying bomb. Only problem are the savant androids in the tower.

If this ran on a timer, we'd be shitting our pants trying to disarm this, hurt locker style.
View attachment 129488
View attachment 129477

Luckily, we disarmed the bomb and everyone got to level up. Before we can leave, the Savant's tower still had some guards. a behemoth included. The latter however fell to Ntwadumela.

He got to kill the only behemoth sized Savant minion.
View attachment 129479

With all this done, all that's left for the party is to visit the Rapax-away camp and deal with the Rapax king while saving the T'Rang and Umpani he has as prisoners. There's also the matter of maybe fighting an optional mini-boss in the area before the Rapax camp. Beyond all of that, the path to allowing our Kiwi's to become gods of the universe.

....Did my Wizardry counterpart just bone a Demon Queen and then complement himself on his performance?

Christ this game's getting meta.

 

[Cute Anime Girl]

I have never played this game but when I saw a link to it come up I thought this thread was gonna expose the wizards here on KF and now I'm disappointed.

 

[c-no]

....Did my Wizardry counterpart just bone a Demon Queen and then complement himself on his performance?

Christ this game's getting meta.

Yes. Hell, I made a save beforehand (and after you boned her) just to see how others reacted. My counterpart said he'd write it in private, @Ntwadumela said he should get out more often, and @Broseph Stalin said he for some reason felt hungry after being sacrificed. Really, the responses are all funny. Some range from "nice" to "it had to of been a dream".

I have never played this game but when I saw a link to it come up I thought this thread was gonna expose the wizards here on KF and now I'm disappointed.

If such a thing were to happen, it'd be in lolcow or community watch. Here, it's just my attempt at an LP chronicling what happens to a group of adventurers named after a handful of Kiwi's.

 

[c-no]

Upon reaching the Rapax away camp, our band of Kiwi's would go to meet the king. We end up opening the wrong tent and pissing off the Rapax Prince before he could engage in sexual relations with his harem. That's the second time we pissed him off.

Guess where this douchebag goes to after ruining his party.

We meet the Rapax King who tells us about an alliance with the Savant. Since only he and his lone guard are in the tent, we commit treason and kill the king. We get key off his corpse and a nice new ebony helmet for @Oglooger. Opening the door to cave behind the king's tent with the new key, we end up freeing his wife. She's one of the few non-hostile Rapax we meet. She tells us things we already know such as the alliance and the bomb we disarmed. After that, it was time to interrogate the prisoners.

Upon reaching the prisoners, they turn out to be the missing T'Rang and Umpani that were respectively mentioned by their leaders, Drazic and Rodan. Both tell us how they see the Savant has been working with the Rapax.

Unfortunately for @Ntwdumela, the Rapax and the Dark Savant are more like peas in a pod than two caustic agents.

After recruiting the prisoners, the entire camp save for the newly-freed queen turns against us. The fight is long and hard but the party perseveres. After that, it's back to Marten's Bluff and then Mt. Gigas. An alliance between the T'Rang and Umpani must be made.

At first, both leaders of the two factions are wary but when the Dark Savant is brought up, both Z'Ant and Yamir agree to it. The former gives us a tracking device for the Savant's ship (even though we already have coordinates) and the latter has a ship destroying missle.

Destroying the Black Ship of the Dark Savant elicits an overjoyed response from one of our party members.

Unfortunately for me, the Savant might not really be in his ship.

With all this done, we head back to the Rapax Castle through Oglooger's portal spell. This brings us to another teleporter that allows us to enter Ascension Peak. From here on out, Ascension Peak is the penultimate area of the game, filled with tough enemies.

The Soul Eater is one of the three mini-bosses. Luckily in this run, @DynamiteNinja paralyzed it before it could swallow our souls.

Pee Wee gets in our way if we don't pay his owner. He kills @Jaimas but Oglooger finishes the fuck-huge golem off.

Furor is like Pee Wee in being an oversized enemy. He ends up being killed by Jaimas.

In one of the paths we have to go down, we meet the Prince who will revel in killing us. We also meet the bastard child of @Jaimas who is just like her mother: a demonic bitch that loves to spawn fully grown Rapax that will kill us. At least she is less lewdy dressed than her mother.

Once we reach the end of the paths, we respectively fight a demon with three djinn's, a oak tree spirit with three fairies, and a ghostly woman with two crystal unicorns. They respectively are all complete pricks (stupid fucking unicorns manage to turncoat Ntwadumela who later killed @Broseph Stalin, damn equine pricks).

It's a bad idea to engage more than one of these crystal horses.

At the end of each of three paths we go to place the artifacts for Ascension, Altheides, the guy we meet back at the monastery in the beginning of our adventure ask us as question.

These questions pertain to their respective artifact and who they represent (Chaos/Change=Dark Savant, Knowledge=Our party *Us*, Life=Cosmic Lords *For some reason, Jesus Christ and Buddha are acceptable answers, perhaps they too were Cosmic Lords*)

After all that, the final road to the Cosmic Circle is open. We will end up too late though as the Savant reaches it first. At least we disarmed his bomb. He still gets inside but at least Bela is there to help us out. Yamir and Z'Ant are no where to be seen though, despite the two pledging to help you out. Perhaps the Rapax and whats left of the Savant's forces are holding them up.

Final part of this LP will be made into a video. It'd be better to show what goes down than just having me type everything poorly with a crappy screenshot.