Box Office Bomb: ‘The Marvels’ Opening to $47M-$52M in New Low for Marvel Studios

Bland Crumbs · Nov 12, 2023

Make garbage movies make garbage money.

Captain Marvel could have been great if they used any of the old lore.

The, mouse, the.

wtfNeedSignUp · Nov 12, 2023

Bland Crumbs said:
Captain Marvel could have been great if they used any of the old lore.

Yes the old lore: Take Captain Marvel, replace no ass blonde whore with long haired brunette bombshell in skintight clothing and a white stripe over her hair and call her Rogue. Have her fight robots for 2 hours. Make tons of money.

SBG · Nov 12, 2023

People like superheroes that have flaws. Which is something the MCU is bad about when it comes to non-white characters as it'd be perceived as racist to cut a black hero down to size.

SmugAutist said:
I don't know. Amber is a legit narcissist. Haven't seen much of Brie's stuff but from what I understand, she can actually act in some roles. Honestly, I think that the main problem is the direction of the movies. It's like they told her "be more detached" in every scene until she delivered everything like a plank of wood. This is not a purely Brie issue. Every Disney girlboss is told to be like this. I've become convinced that women are incapable of potraying stoicism.

As for the interviews and comments that got her into trouble, it seems like her PR team gave her some terrible advice. Notice that she hasn't really as much stupid shit (relatively speaking, all of Hollywood is retarded) since 2019 despite having ample chances to do so.

From looking at that infamous "does anybody still want me to do it?" clip, I think she has realized that being Carol is a net negative in her career and just wants to get it over with so she can go back to more artsy roles.

Scarlett Johansson ended up criticizing Iron Man 2 due to feeling hypersexualized so I'm guessing the people producing these movies are actively trying to avoid the women looking cute or sexy. Which would be more than a little difficult without making the characters look stuck up. They're all a little too perfect which makes their stories dull.

make_it_so · Nov 12, 2023

SBG said:
Scarlett Johansson ended up criticizing Iron Man 2 due to feeling hypersexualized so I'm guessing the people producing these movies are actively trying to avoid the women looking cute or sexy. Which would be more than a little difficult without making the characters look stuck up. They're all a little too perfect which makes their stories dull.

ScarJo doesn't realize that that little sequence is why so many people wound up liking her character in the first place.

Kheapathic · Nov 12, 2023

I hadn't watched a Disney Marvel movie since Iron Man 2 or Thor, I don't remember which. I remember going to the theater for Deadpool, just to see how it'd be handled; and did for Deadpool 2 as Cable is my favorite X-Men / Mutant. Never really cared for all the stuff Disney Marvel was putting out, probably because I started seeing all the consumer soyjacks popping up, and didn't want to be part of that... or maybe it was every character was the Joss Whedon snarky eye-rolling asshole.

SBG · Nov 12, 2023

Kheapathic said:
I hadn't watched a Disney Marvel movie since Iron Man 2 or Thor, I don't remember which. I remember going to the theater for Deadpool, just to see how it'd be handled; and did for Deadpool 2 as Cable is my favorite X-Men / Mutant. Never really cared for all the stuff Disney Marvel was putting out, probably because I started seeing all the consumer soyjacks popping up, and didn't want to be part of that... or maybe it was every character was the Joss Whedon snarky eye-rolling asshole.

Guardians of the Galaxy was pretty decent as it doesn't involve trying to tie in with every other Marvel movie and shoe horning in the next big hero. I think MCU's habit of always trying to feature yet another superhero in their movies created a lot of fatigue.

I remember being plain confused with the Ant Man movie when they just randomly featured 'Falcon' (guy that later replaces Captain America), I'd be surprised if many even remember the scene. Doesn't really get involved with the story and felt randomly thrown in. I imagine this was MCU's way of not doing a dozen different origin story movies, but side effect is it results in other characters' movies and shows getting side tracked trying to do glorified cameos as character introductions. Like that Wandavision show that gets side tracked following the black woman rather than on the main character people were tuning in for.

Flamin Park · Nov 12, 2023

Nobody cares about these characters to start with, but hey keep the budget reasonable, cast well and that could absolutely be turned around and create real momentum to build on. Except you hire Brie 'my mouth is bigger than my ass' Larsson, some fulltime black race-baiter and a literally who.

I can guess what this is going to be already, the same OTT sfx, lots of quips, but this time they'll be MOCKING THE WHITE PATRIARCHY (yerh we're cooking with gas now) and a 90% copy-paste story with the 10% 'original' part being how nobody thought the three superpowered bad bitches could save the world like the boys but Surprise they did

If they're really making an X-Men movie the first thing they should do is have rogue suck all three Neapolitan flavours of insufferable broads to death, instead of just palette swapped ms marvel
That would bring the house down

Also endgame was the start of the rot, infinity war actually felt like it had some weight, and then they just pulled deus ex time travel out of their ass and turned Thanos from an interesting character with understandable motives and character depth into axe crazy psycho of the week because God forbid they spook the horses and the Good Guys(TM) get any sort of a loss, or the audience has to grapple with actual consequences or nuance

make_it_so · Nov 12, 2023

Flamin Park said:
If they're really making an X-Men movie the first thing they should do is have rogue suck all three Neapolitan flavours of insufferable broads to death, instead of just palette swapped ms marvel
That would bring the house down

Way back when the first Captain Marvel movie was about to come out, some people suggested that the best way to end the movie would be for Brie, after fighting a heroic and exhausting battle to stop the bad guys, crashes into the middle of some city street, where in an awesome little cameo a random civilian played by Anna Pacquin comes by, grabs her by the hand while asking if she was all right, after which Captain Marvel falls into a coma.

Cheesy and an obvious fanboy callback and reference on multiple levels, sure, but it would've probably been epic and moving, and would've also explained where the hell she'd been for the past 30 years or so while everything else had been taking place in the MCU and she'd never once been mentioned. And then at the after credits sequence, where everything is going to hell during the events of the "Snap" from Inifinity War, we cut to her still in a coma in a hospital...and suddenly her eyes snap open.

Flamin Park · Nov 12, 2023

The Connected Nose said:
At least with Evangelion, you only need to watch one season and EoE. That's it. You've seen the whole story. Everything beyond that is just icing to dabble in if you like, but not essential to the overall plot. And if you don't like any of the icing, literally anything you can come up with is canon, according to the last episode.

The last two modern films going completely off the rails (even by Eva standards) is another matter entirely...

That's because their goal isn't to make money (Black Rock supplies that fresh from the printer). Their goal is to ruin everything you once loved, and to do it as obviously as possible. It's nothing more complex than demoralization. The same reason they push faggots/troons/racemixing/etc. all over the media. It's not because they think anyone benefits from it, it's because they know you don't want it, but can't stop them.

I don't get why everyone loves evangelion so much, it's literally just the main character whining about how his dad is an asshole and how he's too much of a sperg to talk to anyone, there's like three fights and the rest of it is whangst filler. The actual interesting part of the story regarding the angels and the fall is completely underdeveloped. It's literally just catcher in the rye with occasional giant robots

Haramburger · Nov 12, 2023

I'm honestly not fatigued with superhero movies. I will show up to capeshit.

STOP forcing characters I hate and did not ask for. You are not entitled to my ticket money, Mickeyniggers.

Neighborhood Curmudgeon · Nov 12, 2023

At this point, they should just cut their losses and stop the MCU. But of course they won't do that because they have this weird delusion that they can still milk it somehow.

Haramburger · Nov 12, 2023

Neighborhood Curmudgeon said:
At this point, they should just cut their losses and stop the MCU. But of course they won't do that because they have this weird delusion that they can still milk it somehow.

If they used desirable characters, I'd sit through another 33 movies easily. Give me a Rogue solo feature. Give me a Gambit movie. I'd be willing to sit through a young Storm movie where she copes with being sort of raised by the Shadow King in Africa, even though I skipped the Black Panther shit. You could humanize the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants in a sort of anti-hero mashup where they get together and wreck shit just because they're a bunch of misfits.

Redesigning Kamala Khan from the Inhuman she was in the comics was not the way to get me to care about a movie starring her. Danvers has been ruined and not good since comics-era Civil War, and no one gave a single fuck about Monica. I just have no idea who this movie was actually trying to appeal to. Even as a Skrull and Kree enjoyer, their conflict has not been well portrayed in the movies and the crumbs of it I see in the wiki article's plot section do not thrill me. It's sad, cosmic Marvel as a setting is really cool but the diversity retards have absolutely no idea what to do with it.

Mariposa2.0 LTE · Nov 12, 2023

A new low for Marvel would be hiring overexposed, SJW actresses.

Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 · Nov 12, 2023

SBG said:
People like superheroes that have flaws. Which is something the MCU is bad about when it comes to non-white characters as it'd be perceived as racist to cut a black hero down to size.

Scarlett Johansson ended up criticizing Iron Man 2 due to feeling hypersexualized so I'm guessing the people producing these movies are actively trying to avoid the women looking cute or sexy. Which would be more than a little difficult without making the characters look stuck up. They're all a little too perfect which makes their stories dull.

iman-vellani-going-from-cosplaying-ms-marvel-to-playing-her-v0-kdjj6xggdudb1.jpg

The costume on the right is more true to the source material, but put her next to no-ass sourpuss Brie Larson and it just looks boring. Monika Rambo is the most interesting part visually which is sad... Though they should have straightened the hair so they could have that joke in the movie.

There's also (according to a puff piece I read) "the beautiful" Zawe Ashton:

Plus a korean twink for the k-pop schlickers

Not only that, there is also a cat!

Who is this movie very specifically made for and will they spend a billion bucks to see it? No. If they wanted to squeeze money out of that market they should just have made a movie where Thor and Loki wrestle naked.

behindyourightnow · Nov 12, 2023

Alexander Thaut said:
The Gatherers was kinda interesting and I could have seen the MCU adapting it in some form in the 2010s because it's very inhumans/eternals/non-Fox property centric. It'd require them to have introduced the inhumans/eternals sooner as well as establish Dane Whitman. Not impossible, but it'd have been interesting. Plus, if they did it around the time of Guardians 2, we'd probably have had the setup for an eventual "Celestial Madonna" storyline for a film.

If I remember, wasn't a part of recent-ish Dane stuff that his daughter popped up around the AXIS event or something? It's a shame they aren't using Dane at all because he's a genuinely fun character and visually cool. We could even have the Dreadknight guy be a movie villain.

It's unlikely that anyone will ever be interested in that shit outside of a tiny niche audience, no matter how well it's done. I say this as someone who actually enjoys a lot of capeshit. There is a HUGE void between the type of plotlines you are describing, and the movies that made the MCU succeed.

Let's look at some of the movies that established the MCU:

Iron Man: cool guy in a robot suit that fights real-world bad guys!

Captain America: cool guy with superpowers who fights Hitler stand-ins!

Thor: a god who comes to Earth and fights alongside humans just like you and me!!!

Now, can you sum up the "Gatherers" in a way that makes anyone gives a shit? Look at this description:

The last of their reality, the Gatherers are a team of former Avengers of various alternate realities who survived their world's destruction. Tricked into believing that their world's Sersi was to blame, Proctor united them in their common hatred, giving them a foe, the "prime" Sersi of Earth-616. But for them to carry out their vengeance, each member had to kill their Earth-616 counterpart (an act called "gathering") within a certain amount of time or face a cellular breakdown that would cause their deaths. Unknown to the members of the Gatherers, their leader Proctor was responsible for each world's destruction as he drove that world's Sersi into madness, causing her to lash out and destroy everything around her.

I fell asleep halfway through reading that and like I said, I am the type of loser who likes capeshit. Why the fuck do I care about some retards from an alternate universe who were tricked by some other retard? MCU worked partly because it put comic book stuff firmly in our own world (without trying too hard to make it 'dark' and 'gritty' like DC movies did). You got the amusing juxtaposition of superheros fighting in a real city with people who look like you and me, which gave us a built-in reason to care about what happened. Without that... why the fuck do I care about some random superheroes and their alternative universe?

(Obviously there are exceptions, like Guardians of the Galaxy and some of the later Thor movies, but they generally made up for it by establishing good audience stand-ins and/or being very funny, and even then they probably only succeeded because it was the height of the MCU.)

Same applies to The Marvels. I actually enjoyed the Captain Marvel movie (like I said, I am a retard capeshit enjoyer). But it was enjoyable because it put Captain Marvel (a strange alien) in a human world, and gave us Nick Fury as an audience stand-in. This movie looks like it takes Captain Marvel (still an alien, for all intents and purposes) and teams her up with other superheroes... in space?

Again, why the fuck do I care?

Manul Otocolobus · Nov 12, 2023

Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 said:
Not only that, there is also a cat!
View attachment 5487586

Just as an FYI, that is no ordinary Earth felid. That is Goose (aka Chewie), a Flerken from a parallel universe, which has a similar outward appearance to an Earth cat. However, a Flerken contains a pocket dimension inside of them connected to their gastrointestinal tract. This allows them to store literally just about anything inside of themselves, and when that item is needed, they cough it back up like a hairball. Their mouths are also nothing like that of an Earth cat. Their oral cavity, when fully projected, can probably best be described as an eldritch horror as illustrated below:

Overly Serious · Nov 12, 2023

RodgerDodger said:
Why are they so determined to make Iman Vellani a thing? She's a short dumpy and annoying teenager. Nobody would give her a second glance at the mall.

Weird pick because of the three leads, she's unarguably the most likeable. Her TV show was really quite sweet and positive. Nor was it actually particularly woke. They even have a villain who corrects one of the heroes to say "Latinx" when she says "Latina".

If you're going by looks, sure - Brie Larson's obviously the bigger draw but I don't think they were trying to make Ms. Marvel a sex symbol.

Positron · Nov 12, 2023

SmugAutist said:
Every Disney girlboss is told to be like this. I've become convinced that women are incapable of portraying stoicism.

There have been brilliant examples of female stoicism in cinema. The old classic is Renée Jeanne Falconetti as Joan of Arc. For a more recent example, Juliette Binoche in Three Colors: Blue displays an unusual and very affecting strength in face of family tragedies.

make_it_so said:
I just think that most modern writers, producers, and directors that get attached to these capeshit genre films simply don't know what the fuck stoicism looks like (see the painfully dull performances by all the lead actresses in the live action Star Wars Ahsoka series, for example).

The problem with Hollywood is that stoicism as a attitude for life -- to see oneself as a mere part in the grand stage of life full of other actors, hence one has no right to upset the stage by drawing attention to oneself. People are not obliged to bear your cross because they have their own cross to bear -- is completely contrary to the modern western ethos of individualism and narcissism. Better examples of stoicism are to be found in Chinese and Japanese cinema. Hollywood cannot write a real stoic; they write what a perpetually-triggered crybaby imagines what a stoic is like.

To establish a stoic one has to show the pain and tragedies he or she has live though. What has Brie Larson's character gone through? Suffering through the horrifying ordeal of being mansplained like She-Hulk did? I have to see the Ahsoka trailer because I do the MovieBob thread, and I don't think those women are stoics either. They are -- especially the chink -- pure power fantasies.

And Brie Larson is quite simply a bad actress and bad human being.

Getting Tard Comed Jr said:
Holy shit. 33 marvel films. Call it a day man. There aren't 33 movies of anything. Marvel has made more movies than the James Bond franchise and that started in the 60s.

The Japanese Tora-san movies have to this date 50 entries, but these episodic rather than interconnected.

Kankichi Ryotsu · Nov 12, 2023

Have they tried making a good movie instead of putting so much focus on the diverse and empowered cast of leads and director?

Positron · Nov 12, 2023

The director blames "virulent pockets of the fandom". So nope, no lesson learned. The Right Side Of History needs to learn nothing.

Box Office Bomb: ‘The Marvels’ Opening to $47M-$52M in New Low for Marvel Studios

Bland Crumbs

You didn't. You don't.

wtfNeedSignUp

SBG

make_it_so

Make it Ghibli!

Kheapathic

Low IQ Gorilla Niggers

SBG

Flamin Park

Gee Bill, how come the mods let you post TWICE?

make_it_so

Make it Ghibli!

Flamin Park

Gee Bill, how come the mods let you post TWICE?

Haramburger

Gilded Donor II Turbo HD Remix

Neighborhood Curmudgeon

Misanthropic Pessimist

Haramburger

Gilded Donor II Turbo HD Remix

Mariposa2.0 LTE

Smaug's Smokey Hole 2

Forgettable2

behindyourightnow

Manul Otocolobus

Overly Serious

Positron

Your keffiyeh is my piss towel

Kankichi Ryotsu

Positron

Your keffiyeh is my piss towel