Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[grapeshark77]

I seem to remember the OandA Christmas book not only having a character from Pat's book but Pat himself in it. It's definitely fair use for parody but I think that's what he used to get it removed, not Dickens.

Pat's so boring he's tweeting about the Project 2025 stuff which is like liberal Q.



Now, if you read the article:



If he thought a dictator was about to take over and we'd all go to camps you'd think he would be fleeing the country..?

I should start a Jackie Singh style conspiracy that Pat realized he was going to be Lolcow of 2023 so he intentionally got boring to try to lose.

 

[JJLiautaud]

Porsalin makes an interesting discovery:

Video:

Honestly I think he has a point and this recontextualizes Norm/11 Piggy thinks he can just copy another comedian's style and be funny it didnt work ergo Norm isn't funny.

 

[Divine right to rule]

If he thought a dictator was about to take over and we'd all go to camps you'd think he would be fleeing the country..?

He probably thinks he will fight the US military together with the rest of antifa.
He will use his Kendo techniques to split an Abrams tank in half when they come for him to put him into a fatcentration camp.

 

[Maude Snew]

Rick's ancestry deep dive episode 1:

Pigo the Carportian

Starved to death due to lack of urban youth in 1500s Eastern Europe. His last words were reportedly: "Bring me a child so that I may feast again."

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

Porsalin makes an interesting discovery:
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Video:
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Honestly I think he has a point and this recontextualizes Norm/11 Piggy thinks he can just copy another comedian's style and be funny it didnt work ergo Norm isn't funny.

No. That's a big stretch, and around that time most open mic comics were doing either Norm, Attell, or Mitch Hedberg impressions before they found their voice so I thought he'd at least sound a little like Norm, but it was just Pigsley fucking up the joke and stuttering.

This doc is going to be Porsalin's Chinese Democracy - by the time it comes out no one's going to give a shit and it'll be so overworked it'll be lifeless and dull.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Porsalin makes an interesting discovery:
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Video:
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Honestly I think he has a point and this recontextualizes Norm/11 Piggy thinks he can just copy another comedian's style and be funny it didnt work ergo Norm isn't funny.

Why does a 28 second clip of Fatrick doing standup feel like I lost 5 years of my life and gained 40 pounds?

 

[cerulean hydra]

Porsalin makes an interesting discovery:
View attachment 5490506
Video:
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Honestly I think he has a point and this recontextualizes Norm/11 Piggy thinks he can just copy another comedian's style and be funny it didnt work ergo Norm isn't funny.

It's bizarre to me how much misplaced confidence piggy has, yet never where it counts. You wouldn't think he doubts himself based on his awful books, his backwards fence, queef wellington, or any other mistakes he's proudly put on camera. Yet he can't spit out a joke to save his life. "Like, uhm" *long pause* "uh, yeah."

(Much like his novels, he can't write a joke to save his life, either).

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Pat's so boring he's tweeting about the Project 2025 stuff which is like liberal Q.

View attachment 5490279

What makes a temporary delay in select military promotions such a key part of the plan to enact a Trump For Life dictatorship?

In Rick's fevered mind Trump is a corrupt monster who wants to seize power permanently and kill millions of Americans with a bunch of MAGA allies, but they'll be thwarted by some military officers getting their standard promotions.

"Sir, he's refusing to murder the Democrats in his region, something about the Constitution."
"Well, have him killed and replaced."
"We can't sir, his promotion to major general went through."
"God dammit, I'm going to wind up enjoying prison."

edit: Professional fiction writer btw.

 

[An automatic clown]

What makes a temporary delay in select military promotions such a key part of the plan to enact a Trump For Life dictatorship?

In Rick's fevered mind Trump is a corrupt monster who wants to seize power permanently and kill millions of Americans with a bunch of MAGA allies, but they'll be thwarted by some military officers getting their standard promotions.

"Sir, he's refusing to murder the Democrats in his region, something about the Constitution."
"Well, have him killed and replaced."
"We can't sir, his promotion to major general went through."
"God dammit, I'm going to wind up enjoying prison."

edit: Professional fiction writer btw.

Pat making more Pat posters with every tweet, sent fatly

Naturally he hides the tweet that has an actual question that would require him to defend his fat and retarded tweet:

 

[Johnny Salami]

Just like everyone in LA who watched one (1) Dave chappele special in the mid 2000s, I too tried stand up. Even when my jokes bombed there's always a chuckle here and there. I don't hear that from Pat's audience.

 

[Maude Snew]

Just like everyone in LA who watched one (1) Dave chappele special in the mid 2000s, I too tried stand up. Even when my jokes bombed there's always a chuckle here and there. I don't hear that from Pat's audience.

I can't believe I'm saying this but it's not as bad as Nick Rekieta still. First of all it's not half an hour long, second, Rick managed to dress for the occasion and didn't look super out of place like Nick. Also it didn't involve one of Juju's minions.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Pat making more Pat posters with every tweet, sent fatly
View attachment 5491843
Naturally he hides the tweet that has an actual question that would require him to defend his fat and retarded tweet:
View attachment 5491847

Cammie was probably drawn to Rick's hardcore conservative takes:

 

[AN/ALR56]

I went with "expressionless" and this one isn't bad of her, but Pigsley looks like Michael Moore:

View attachment 5489341

Here he's more Patton Oswalt and she's way too hot:

View attachment 5489345

She looks like anisa in the bottom pic

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

Just like everyone in LA who watched one (1) Dave chappele special in the mid 2000s, I too tried stand up. Even when my jokes bombed there's always a chuckle here and there. I don't hear that from Pat's audience.

I did some in college. I had a character, it was beyond douchey. I did great my first night and it ruined me, I thought it was going to be like that every time but it was just a great crowd for that kind of thing.

I don't know what it is with standup, there are so many bad comics that it makes you think you can just get up there and do it. It's true, you can, but you're just creating another bad comic. The guys who can deal with being shitty for five years until they get good amaze me. Rick though man, I've watched all his standup online and he never got over, nothing more than some slight chuckles, no confidence or timing, can't get through his setups. I wish he hadn't had the good sense to stop.

How does he not have a podcast? Every comic has a podcast. Does anyone work at Ford who can tell him they want Torque Wheeler to do a weekly car talk show?

 

[AirdropShitposts]

I don't know what it is with standup, there are so many bad comics that it makes you think you can just get up there and do it. It's true, you can, but you're just creating another bad comic.

Unless you nail it the first time out and can never top perfection:

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

Unless you nail it the first time out and can never top perfection:

I'm convinced 85% of open mic'ers are there because their therapists told them they needed exposure therapy. She's not even cute awkward, like learn a few chords on the ukuklele lady.

 

[Johnny Salami]

Unless you nail it the first time out and can never top perfection:

I can fix her.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Cammie was probably drawn to Rick's hardcore conservative takes:
View attachment 5491962

Ok they survived socialism, but fatrick knows better because he wrote a book that 3 people bought

 

[Chongqing]

In Rick's fevered mind Trump is a corrupt monster who wants to seize power permanently and kill millions of Americans with a bunch of MAGA allies

I have a friend who's pretty far left, and he unironically believes this too, and says most people on his side also believe it.

He thinks that if Trump gets elected in the next national election, it will be the last election ever to be held in America.

This is par for the course for Pat.

I also really think he missed his calling to be a stand up comic like Hassan Minaj: no jokes, just PowerPoint photos of your high school classmates while you shame them for their racism through long drawn-out stories.

 

[AnOminous]

Did someone say satisfaction? Full satisfaction, perhaps?

I wonder if he's in a complete tard meltdown because conditions were placed on him by his in-laws for satisfying the debts he put on the marital estate with his psychotic idiocy.

I have a friend who's pretty far left, and he unironically believes this too, and says most people on his side also believe it.

Trump has more or less openly said that's what he intends to do.

I have zero fear about it, and couldn't care less. He's a goddamn retard and even if he does pull a Grover Cleveland, will fuck it up and accomplish nothing, just like he did the first time.