- Joined
- Dec 24, 2018
Wrong, child. He will throw a water balloon filled with paint at the tank.
Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter
- Thread starter Caverlock
- Start date
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🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
My God.
Did you... did you find someone that's actually worst than Patrick at something?
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2020
The Life of Patrick S. Tomlinson. November 13, 2023.
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2022
Join us next week in a dank Milwaukee basement where we will be meeting acclaimed lawsuit loser Fatrick Tomlinson for a unique pepperoni recipe, made with a special kind of dark meat, that goes very well with his artisanal hot sauces.
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
Quick update about the future of Patposting.
It's not looking good, at least for the next days/weeks. Some of the Ona boys have decided they're done with Pat, and are actively trying to stop Patposting by shititng up his subforum with as many off topics posts as they can.
"No more posts about that Patrick guy!"
I'm a little disappointed with Pat. The man had the Lolcow of the year award pretty much in the bag before the first half of 2023 was even done... and NOW he decides to tone the crazy down? Right at the finish line??
It's not looking good, at least for the next days/weeks. Some of the Ona boys have decided they're done with Pat, and are actively trying to stop Patposting by shititng up his subforum with as many off topics posts as they can.
"No more posts about that Patrick guy!"
I'm a little disappointed with Pat. The man had the Lolcow of the year award pretty much in the bag before the first half of 2023 was even done... and NOW he decides to tone the crazy down? Right at the finish line??
Pat, please, look at me buddy. Do you see that stupid username up there? When I chose it, I did it because I had faith in you man. How the hell am I suppose to be an active poster in other threads with a name other posters can't understand? Do you know how stupid that makes me look dude... people will make fun of me and laugh behind my back at the next Kiwifarms Christmas Party at Null's bunker. I can't have that!
Sigh... Listen. That username is staying up, I don't care. You know why? Because I know the limitless potential you have inside you buddy! Back then I believed in your ability to be the most hilarious fuck up ever... and I still do! So get up from the fart couch, pour yourself about ½ gallon of the cheapest beer you got, and go out on the streets picking up fights* with every single cop/MAGA/PhD in a subject you know nothing about/Gymbro you find! OK? You got this bro!
From your number 1 fan,
ThePatMan.
*bring some pepperoni too, fistfighting is a very intensive activity and you'll need the protein.
Sigh... Listen. That username is staying up, I don't care. You know why? Because I know the limitless potential you have inside you buddy! Back then I believed in your ability to be the most hilarious fuck up ever... and I still do! So get up from the fart couch, pour yourself about ½ gallon of the cheapest beer you got, and go out on the streets picking up fights* with every single cop/MAGA/PhD in a subject you know nothing about/Gymbro you find! OK? You got this bro!
From your number 1 fan,
ThePatMan.
*bring some pepperoni too, fistfighting is a very intensive activity and you'll need the protein.
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2023
Dude Pat’s still got it in the bag. It doesn’t matter whether the OnA posters are still interested in him or not.
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
I know, just posted it to laugh at Pat. In reality our boy can't lose, he worked overtime this year.
Edit: I also did it because I think it's pretty funny how much the boys at Ona hate and fuck with each other. The level of pettiness over there can be incredible sometimes.
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- Joined
- Jul 3, 2021
I wonder who their next target is ? They've already run through Anthony Cumia, Joe Cumia. Now if they're done with Fatrick, who next ? There's that dumb nigger who keeps getting sci-fi awards from guilt ridden white people who got booted from the country lying on his visa or something. Shane Nokes is boring. Jackie is too retarded to function. Do they go back into the O&A sphere and heckle Jim Norton for marrying a massive Nordic pornstar troon ? Hmm
- Joined
- May 20, 2020
It seems it only took the publishing company EIGHT GODDAMN YEARS to get enough of their money back to start paying Pat royalties. I don't think anyone would call that "still selling strong".
Are these "royalties from The Ark" in the toom with us right now, Mr. Tomlinson?
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2023
Making fun of Jimmy for marrying a male Valkyrie would be like making fun of Pigsley if he got a show on MSNBC or The Ark got made into a movie. It's what he's wanted and worked toward his whole life, that's his happy ending as it were. When Helgor divorces him and takes all of his celebrity photographs in the divorce, then it'd be fun.
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
In theory Ooga could be a fantastic cow. He might be as narcissistic as Pat, but the fact he's the token black man of the white-hating guilt-ridden danger hair SciFi community means he will never suffer any backlash for his outlandishly racist takes, and he puts that immunity to good use. Like you said he's a grifter, and he's also the laziest motherfucker I've ever seen.
Honestly, Ooga may just be 10 times more hateable than Pat.
Unfortunately when mocked he doesn’t really respond much so the milk dries fast.
tl;dr: Ooga won't do, because he doesn't have a tenth of Patrick's stamina and unquenchable thirst for self-destruction. But then again who does?
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2022
for me, it's the union jack shirt and whatever the fuck it is that she has on her head
absolutely flawless combination, it perfectly complements her performance, 10/10 entertainment
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2022
Our little piggy is special.
bortherman
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2022
@Boston Brand
Can you get an update on the bookscan numbers for us please.
I would like to see if he is beating his 22 copies sold in 2022.
Also, if you have some time, I have a list of a few dates that would be handy to get his sales numbers on.
tyfys
Can you get an update on the bookscan numbers for us please.
I would like to see if he is beating his 22 copies sold in 2022.
Also, if you have some time, I have a list of a few dates that would be handy to get his sales numbers on.
tyfys
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2022
keytar
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2021
Rick is the perfect cow in that he's compelled by mysterious forces to respond to even the most minor trolling, whilst also being so odious that you never feel bad for laughing at him. Though it's true that he's been kinda boring recently. Maybe I should go on holiday, any time I'm away from the Internet for a bit he does something hilarious in my absence.
Also his standup is so unfunny it actually makes me slightly MATI. He is the most awkward, humourless person ever.
Also his standup is so unfunny it actually makes me slightly MATI. He is the most awkward, humourless person ever.
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2019
A thought experiment for you all. You have died, and for your sins you are to be reincarnated instead of escaping the cycle of death and rebirth. However, your sins were relatively minor, but gross, so while you are reincarnating as a human, you have to choose to either be Robert 'MovieBob' Chapman, or Patrick 'Fat' Tomlinson. Do you pick the more financially successful one, or the one that has known the touch of at least two women?
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2021
Financially successful is dubious with Movie Blob, dude moved from his mother's basement to his aunt's basement and then back.
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2019
Hes known to be making more money than Patrick, and he hasn't lost any lolsuits. Yes, he's pathetic but by himself he's better off than Pepperoni boy.
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2022
Never go full MovieBob.