Debate User @Vingle on why the Chads don't want to push his shit in - lol gaycel

[Vingle]

I want to make sure I understand before offering any insight. I've read a lot of hilarious back and forth in this thread and, maybe it's my English, but it's a little hard to keep it all straight.

V, you put a lot of effort into maintaining/building up your looks (gym, skincare, etc) so you expect the same from a potential partner. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Finally someone that actually gets it. I don't expect to get any fit man with nice skin and all that, while I don't do shit. I don't even have a high standard, but I can supposedly only have the bottom-tier of bottom-tier trash. And I'm tired of being gaslit into that.

You admit you have toxic, anti-social behaviour - likely from past trauma. This is not your fault. Frankly I wouldn't see a therapist either. I think it's mostly pseudoscience.

True, therapist is to learn to cope. And pretending I'm fine having a shit life, is lunacy.

Are you still having issues with the introduction phase? Where perhaps your personality is not yet known and all anyone has to go by is your looks?

Yes, I say hi to people at Grindr. But nearly all people ignore me.

Or is the issue finding the type of guy you want in the first place? Based on the two dating profiles you posted the quality of men seems low.

Grindr is full of these types, there are some attractive ones. But they do ignore me, or they're scammers.

And yes, even when people answer, They even rarely want to meet up.

 

[TardiX]

there are some attractive ones. But they do ignore me

I'm not gonna pretend to be familiar with dating sites/apps but just based off human behaviour the problem must lay in your pictures. NOT your looks. But maybe style, angle, "vibe" of the photo.

Because honestly, it's all about pics. Some people will complain about "hi" being a short and uncreative message, but if Henry Cavill [or whoever current sexy man reference] texted "hi" they'd be all over that.

That blond guy with the headset, from a page or so back - I don't know if that is you or not, nor do I care - That man is attractive but the picture is very off putting.

How often do you change up your pictures? If the current one(s) isn't working then change it. Or find the types of guys you like or want to attract and mirror the types of pictures they have. I know my advice is sometimes sociopathic but I wouldn't be on the farms if I wasn't retarded.

And yes, even when people answer, They even rarely want to meet up.

This is a problem with everyone in the dating scene. It's a lot easier to get that quick dopamine hit of a texting "relationship" than to actually try. No one wants to go out anymore.

I would scrap Grindr to be honest. It sounds like an easy way to see what's out there in theory but it's not working for you in reality.

Getting a hobby is decent advice, but it'd be more efficient to think of the type of guy you want and what hobbies HE would be doing and where HE would hang out. Go to those places. I doubt your 10/10 hunky, drop-the-T, white nice-guy is slumming it on Grindr with the troons and fatties.

You're not getting adequate responses on Grindr because the men you want aren't on there.

TL;DR -
1. Change your profile pic(s)
2. Start frequenting hunky hangout spots

 

[Vingle]

How often do you change up your pictures? If the current one(s) isn't working then change it. Or find the types of guys you like or want to attract and mirror the types of pictures they have. I know my advice is sometimes sociopathic but I wouldn't be on the farms if I wasn't retarded.

I do change it once in a while. I do see and remember those who do not change pictures for a long time, sometimes years. I don't know the right angle, because the majority that doesn't look like shit just uses a torso pic.

I would scrap Grindr to be honest. It sounds like an easy way to see what's out there in theory but it's not working for you in reality.

You're not wrong, but when all the areas I go to are between my home and the gym. It becomes more of a necessary evil.

Getting a hobby is decent advice, but it'd be more efficient to think of the type of guy you want and what hobbies HE would be doing and where HE would hang out. Go to those places. I doubt your 10/10 hunky, drop-the-T, white nice-guy is slumming it on Grindr with the troons and fatties.

I guess that would be in the gyms closer to the city centre, with a more gymbro vibe. And that's more of an efforts thing, because it takes about 30 minutes for me to go to the city.

 

[TardiX]

the majority that doesn't look like shit just uses a torso pic

Have you tried that? Just using a torso pic? Maybe they just aren't ready to look into your eyes quite yet.

Very understandable how dating apps become a necessary evil. People got so used to vetting everyone before that talk that a cold open in person feels like an invasion.

I'd get a day pass for the city gym and make a day of it. Hit the gym as you would anyway, talk up anyone you find attractive by asking for a spot or form critique or to work in on equipment.

Then go wherever it is gymbros eat in the city. Ask a local where's a good bar. If the whole day is a bust and you don't meet anyone, who cares. You won't see these people on the daily between your flat and gym anyway.

I think I read something about waving being difficult for you? Is it just initiation the interaction in general or very specifically waving. Waving feels very unnatural to me and I rarely do it unironically.

 

[BirdUp]

have sex with women

 

[Picnic_Boy]

I'd like to suggest, if you read through this thread while listening to Just a Gigolo on repeat, you'll laugh your balls off.

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

I still say the answer is a good double stick tape and a big fluffy black cat (not to be used together).

 

[Ewan McGregor]

I'd get a day pass for the city gym and make a day of it. Hit the gym as you would anyway, talk up anyone you find attractive by asking for a spot or form critique or to work in on equipment.

Terrible advice.

Shit like this opens the door to a lot of misreadings and unnecessary drama, tbh.

 

[TardiX]

Terrible advice.

Shit like this opens the door to a lot of misreadings and unnecessary drama, tbh.

Who cares? It's not his regular gym. You don't ever talk to people in case they misread the situation?

 

[Ewan McGregor]

Who cares? It's not his regular gym. You don't ever talk to people in case they misread the situation?

I normally don't interact with people at the gym, I think it comes across as creepy and predatory or, at any rate, invasive.

Some times, when you are spending a looot of time going t the gym and you've been one of the regulars for a loooong time you can have a rather small interaction with the other guys. But I've noticed that only people who are already friends talk to each other at the gym, because they train together most often.

It is just not a place made for socializing, and I'll freely admit that I'm the happier the more alone I am at the free weights area.

 

[TardiX]

FFS it is not predatory to ask someone to work in at the gym. If you don't wanna be bothered you can tell someone to fuck off and go about your workout. It's not that serious.

 

[Vingle]

Have you tried that? Just using a torso pic? Maybe they just aren't ready to look into your eyes quite yet.

Yes, usually people instantly block me when I show face in chat. While I'm a pretty boi, I don't have that regular manly look. I easy get bait with my body though. But I have noticed things have gotten a little better after I've been smearing minoxidil for a year and actually gotten some beard.

Very understandable how dating apps become a necessary evil. People got so used to vetting everyone before that talk that a cold open in person feels like an invasion.

If I were to hit on someone IRL, I need to be drunk out of my mind. Which never happens, because while I do get some alcohol of my acquittance. Getting bulkier makes me need more to get drunk.

I'd get a day pass for the city gym and make a day of it. Hit the gym as you would anyway, talk up anyone you find attractive by asking for a spot or form critique or to work in on equipment.

Well, the one I have in mind is known for gay cruising and has "gang" where the leader likes me.

I think I read something about waving being difficult for you? Is it just initiation the interaction in general

This.

have sex with women

Straight men have an even harder time getting something. My problem is that I won't take what I get, which is the same for straight girls. Straight men on the other hand don't get anything at all.
So chances are that I have more luck than you Mr. Shitstirrer.

I'd like to suggest, if you read through this thread while listening to Just a Gigolo on repeat, you'll laugh your balls off.

At least I'm funny, that's a positive?

 

[TardiX]

Yes, usually people instantly block me when I show face in chat.

That seems like an overreaction even if you were ugly. Any chance you look really younge and they might think they're looking at an actual child? Keep going with the beard, that'll help.

Well, the one I have in mind is known for gay cruising and has "gang" where the leader likes me.

That sounds promising. You don't even have to hit on anyone then. Just work out while looking pretty and be approachable. No headphones. If nothing comes of it all you did was workout 30 minutes away one time.

 

[Vingle]

That seems like an overreaction even if you were ugly. Any chance you look really younge and they might think they're looking at an actual child? Keep going with the beard, that'll help.

I don't actually know, but I do have a babyface and with all the skincare I do. It certainly does not help. Anyway, I'm the one with the headphones. At this point it doesn't even matter if I admit to it, and the only way out is to own it.
Just to make it easier to give advice, but yea. I look somewhat different now.

be approachable

Not much to do with my body language that screams killer vibes.

If nothing comes of it all you did was workout 30 minutes away one time.

More like 2-3 hours

 

[Dr. Kinder]

Vingle, you need to post face rn so that the Message Board can help you. You need to post your face so we can help you.

 

[TardiX]

Just to make it easier to give advice

Looking straight on at the camera with a relaxed face is going to look awkward and droopy on anyone. Like I said, you are attractive but the picture is not. You have a nice jawline and good symmetry, and nice skin. You need to tighten your facial muscles up and back like you're raising your ears. And close your lips together. Relaxed eyes and open lips looks like a deer in headlights or like you've been drugged.

Or maybe the gays like that idk.

You don't need to be smiling in your photo but you need to have life in your eyes so it helps to squint from the bottom just a little. Or try smiling, lifting your eyebrows, then stop smiling and take the picture.

I don't know what about you or your body language that gives off "killer vibes" so I can't help you there. But being approachable at the gym just means like not wearing ear buds and not ignoring everyone.

I hope you try it. As uncomfortable as it is you're not gonna find your man in your flat.

 

[maddox]

I don't actually know, but I do have a babyface and with all the skincare I do. It certainly does not help. Anyway, I'm the one with the headphones. At this point it doesn't even matter if I admit to it, and the only way out is to own it.
Just to make it easier to give advice, but yea. I look somewhat different now.

Not much to do with my body language that screams killer vibes.

More like 2-3 hours

if you lay with man you should lay with a shotgun in your mouth

 

[Vingle]

Looking straight on at the camera with a relaxed face is going to look awkward and droopy on anyone. Like I said, you are attractive but the picture is not. You have a nice jawline and good symmetry, and nice skin. You need to tighten your facial muscles up and back like you're raising your ears. And close your lips together. Relaxed eyes and open lips looks like a deer in headlights or like you've been drugged.

I can certainly shut my mouth, but I dunno what to do about the eyes.

Or maybe the gays like that idk.

Well, we are close to 30 pages of this thread. So nah.

you need to have life in your eyes so it helps to squint from the bottom just a little. Or try smiling, lifting your eyebrows, then stop smiling and take the picture.

The reason why I don't need botox, is because it doesn't come natural to move my face.

I hope you try it. As uncomfortable as it is you're not gonna find your man in your flat.

I mean, It's very recent, as like yesterday. But I'm chatting with an actually quite nice guy. I just need to plan when we're meeting.

 

[TardiX]

The reason why I don't need botox, is because it doesn't come natural to move my face.

It doesn't come natural for most people to do what I described, it's more of a tip for looking better in pictures.

I hope it goes well with this new guy. Best of luck

 

[BirdUp]

do you put objects up your asshole