Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Super Hans v2]

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This fucking asshole is so dense he wouldn't feel a brick to the face.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

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Oh Jackie boy, never change. Makes his "living" with YouTube, where half of his videos are reviews of fast food/strip mall/chain restaurants where he orders enough food for four people and eats it all, no matter how "bad" it is, but apparently the McRib is where he draws the line.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

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[ZipDisk]

I was appreciative that I got a last shot at the McRib. I understand it was bullshit marketing, but at least McDick provisioned it better than the SZE.

 

[curbside2]

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This motherfucker is going to die eating recovery food at the hospital after his next health impact.

 

[RollingRock2]

Jack doesn't need a full length mirror because he can't stand up. He also can't take a hard look at anything because his eyes are stroked out.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

Man, I'm a bit drunk tonight. This is going to be autistic as fuck for me asking this.

I was thinking.

Could anyone possibly edit this scene from a movie called "Magnolia"

And substitute Tom Cruises head for Garrett's and then substitute Philip Baker Hall's head for Jack's?

https://youtu.be/qdesScho0gU?si=Hlr6ZU_ElocfFszO

 

[Cryogonal2]

This fucking asshole is so dense he wouldn't feel a brick to the face.

Or maybe that's because of the strokes...

 

[TheMovieGuy]

Starts with a plug for his new, kinda ugly merch. It's just the acronym of his show plastered over and over again, could've put some cool art like Jack dying in a hospital room or something at least.

The actual recipe is kind of a sequel to the lazy man fudge from a couple weeks ago, mixes cake mix, cool whip, rolls it in fucking powdered sugar, and bakes it.

On the bright side, we actually get to see him chew the food a little this time, and as always, its gud.

 

[Aunt Carol]

This motherfucker is going to die eating recovery food at the hospital after his next health impact.

He's going to be NPO on tube feedings due to dysphagia, convince a family member to bring him in MEAT, and aspirate. Dead right there if he's lucky; aspiration pneumonia endgame if he isn't.

 

[lindsayfan]

> pff. are you kiddin' me? i can do that.

(cut to tammy making the cookies for him, because he in fact cannot do that)

 

[Falcon Sebben]

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You first fatty.

Seriously. When was the last time that fat faggot put down the fast food and looked at what 50 years of gluttony has done to him?

EDIT: avoid second post.

Starts with a plug for his new, kinda ugly merch. It's just the acronym of his show plastered over and over again, could've put some cool art like Jack dying in a hospital room or something at least.

The actual recipe is kind of a sequel to the lazy man fudge from a couple weeks ago, mixes cake mix, cool whip, rolls it in fucking powdered sugar, and bakes it.

On the bright side, we actually get to see him chew the food a little this time, and as always, its gud.

This guy goes on and on about fake foods but is fine with cake mix and fucking off-brand Cool Whip. Have you seen the ingredients on that?

Spoiler: ingredients

Water, hydrogenated vegetable oil (including coconut and palm oils), high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, skimmed milk, light cream, less than 2% sodium caseinate (a milk derivative), natural and artificial flavor, xanthan and guar gums, polysorbate 60, sorbitan monostearate, and beta carotene.

And for the cake mix: Enriched Flour Bleached (wheat flour, niacin, iron, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), Sugar, Corn Syrup, Leavening (baking soda, sodium aluminum phosphate, monocalcium phosphate). Contains 2% or less of: Modified Corn Starch, Corn Starch, Propylene Glycol Mono and Diesters, Salt, Monoglycerides, Palm Oil, Dicalcium Phosphate, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Xanthan Gum, Cellulose Gum, Natural and Artificial Flavor, Yellows 5 & 6.

It's not the one he used but it's the same shit.

And he has the nerve to call "sugar" poison.

Of course he needs to call it "whipped cream" like the retard he is. Whipped cream has two ingredients. Heavy cream and sugar.

"These are like... cloud... chocolate... cookies". The retardation hurts and he's so giddy at holding one. Artificial ingredients rolled in sugar which is evil but it's okay in this case.

Do you remember when I think it was Dunkin's that asked people to name their donut holes or tell us what you thought of them? Jagoff said, "little balls of poison". So tell me fatboy, how is THIS any different?

And of course they're "gud".

 

[Super Hans v2]

"Are you kidding? I can do that!"

*Instantly cuts to TamHam doing everything*

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I love how there are these brief moments and words in the video where he doesn't slur like a shitfaced strokebrain but sounds like pre-stroke Jack.

Like some desperate neurons in his brain jury-rigged a functional blood vessel to keep them going and sent out a message before it burst.

 

[AnOminous]

Rob brings the meetz. I wonder if his rainbow shirt with the phallic symbols on it is finally enough to get Jack to watch.

Fun fact: this whole dish is ACTUALLY keto. What a subtle dig. (Actually I think the brown sugar and maple syrup probably take it out of that zone.)

 

[Fortnite Bear]

Starts with a plug for his new, kinda ugly merch. It's just the acronym of his show plastered over and over again, could've put some cool art like Jack dying in a hospital room or something at least.

The actual recipe is kind of a sequel to the lazy man fudge from a couple weeks ago, mixes cake mix, cool whip, rolls it in fucking powdered sugar, and bakes it.

On the bright side, we actually get to see him chew the food a little this time, and as always, its gud.

The only thing he was able to do on his own was eat the cookies.

 

[That Damned Tiger]

Fun fact: this whole dish is ACTUALLY keto. What a subtle dig. (Actually I think the brown sugar and maple syrup probably take it out of that zone.)

Not gonna lie, that looks delicioius.

 

[The Early 2000s]

He left in the 'and, cut' at the end lmao

In other news, I stumbled upon this Jack video: Jack Jr.'s Visit to the Dentist:

Main takeaway? Look how skinny Tammy Jr. was 5 years ago! That Scalfani Curse is a mean one!
Also you can suffer through Jr. faking his drowsiness for 12 minutes.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

He left in the 'and, cut' at the end lmao

In other news, I stumbled upon this Jack video: Jack Jr.'s Visit to the Dentist:

Main takeaway? Look how skinny Tammy Jr. was 5 years ago! That Scalfani Curse is a mean one!
Also you can suffer through Jr. faking his drowsiness for 12 minutes.

"How fake do you want your attempt at a viral video to be?"


"Yes."

 

[Gulls on Film]

He left in the 'and, cut' at the end lmao

In other news, I stumbled upon this Jack video: Jack Jr.'s Visit to the Dentist:

Main takeaway? Look how skinny Tammy Jr. was 5 years ago! That Scalfani Curse is a mean one!
Also you can suffer through Jr. faking his drowsiness for 12 minutes.

Forcing your family to be on camera to film "content" like this is probably why they take a few extra minutes to drive your fatass to a hospital whenever you have a stroke.