It's both cathartic and horrifying thinking of the universal pains we've been expressing here. It's something I've been thinking about at work the past couple of days.
I think the thing that strikes me the older I get and the way society changes, especially in America, is sometimes there's the haves and have-nots. People try to pretend they don't care about certain things or tell you you shouldn't. But in all actuality a lot of society treats life like a 30 year old wizard treats XBox Achievements. When we're young, we're taught "you shouldn't judge people by looks, it doesn't matter how much money you make, being yourself is the most important thing" but that becomes increasingly hard to believe as you get older. It turns out people do think physical features can be a character flaw, people will naturally like you the more money you have, being yourself sometimes costs you a lot of opportunities, and there is an age where you're considered a failure for not having relationships, children, a house, a 720 credit score, and everything else.
Sometimes there's the haves and havenots. I don't want to call us losers, but in a way on a societal level we'd be seen as that anyway.
I don't know if it's autism or what. But there comes a point where you just start noticing you're not the guy with everything. And you don't have the connections and things that comes with that. You don't have that "thing" that makes life easier. And because you don't have that "thing" that would make certain areas of life easier, you start to fall behind, which makes it harder to achieve that "thing", which makes it harder, and so on and so forth. Considering that "thing" is really even attainable at a certain point. That's what I hate about all these sigma bros and all the grifters in the dating/incel advice sphere.
I'm not saying exercise is wrong and you shouldn't improve yourself. But at a certain point, I think people really are trying their best and they can't have that "thing" that makes them get along with the average person. So they shouldn't have to constantly shame themselves for not having those things, as maybe those things weren't on the table. I wish life wasn't this way. But that seems to be how it is.
I'm a good example of that. I have worked on myself EXPONENTIALLY over the last year or two. To the point I feel like I'm having a panic attack most of the time. And while I would say I've gotten severely better at being around people... I've realized recently I'm just never going to be "the guy". I'll always be "that guy". I call people retards and faggots when I want to, I dress and comb my hair a bit differently than most, I'm a degenerate weeb, I can't talk to people about the newest TikTok or any of the mediocre shit I know a lot of women probably like and even if I could I can't fake my interest in them. I still try my best to talk with people, but I'll never have that group unity for the most part. The good tradeoff of this is when I find a rare friend or girlfriend, they are legitimately pretty fucking cool and easy to vibe with.
I don't know if I have advice here or anything. In fact, sometimes there isn't any advice. Sometimes life is shit and you just have to deal with it. And sometimes it's shit for a very long time. But overall for all the people here struggling with finding company and a significant other, you're not alone. And there's nothing "wrong" with you. You're just not "the guy". I think if anything anymore I just wish I could go back to a time when I could be as passionate about my interests and goals more than I was adhering to what arbitrary societal ranking I could get. Maybe I'm doomed to a life of wizardom. I hope that's not the case but maybe just accepting that for me has some bitter peace in it. Trying not to always "improve" and "be like the rest" and accepting I'm okay as who I am is kind of freeing from dedicating the next 10 years of my life to some gay-ass sigma self-help grind out of desperation for pussy.
I think about all my favorite artists, or hell even Youtubers. And the truth is, they usually ended up finding girlfriends or popularity through their art. There's plenty of weird rappers out there that I'm almost positive were the literal casebook definition of incels before they made their music. And didn't Pewdiepie meet his wife through youtube? I'm not saying we all have to become the next big thing to get laid. I just think certain men gain community and acceptance through what they do more than for what they are.
I think the next three years are going to be the brutal climax of what the past 10 have been building up to. That's wishful thinking but I really think there will be a time after the big climatic end to the Gay Ops arc where people be severely less cringe and gay. A man can hope at least.
Just do you unabashedly in the meantime but don't forget to touch grass sometimes. I literally met the girl who brought the most joy I've ever had in my life at a fucking Walmart. So you never know.
EDIT: Also this song kinda sums up how I feel a lot of the time.
