"Deep Okayness" ? What does this even mean ?
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It means that she is a literal psychopath who is incapable of feeling guilt as well as many other emotions. This is above and beyond standard autism, where you have poor awareness of feeling as well as poor emotional regulation. Rather, this is what happens when autistic people go
bad worse. We have seen similar progressions with other autistic lolcows like CWC, who did not start out as someone who proclaimed himself to be a god(dess) and regularly raped his elderly mother.
Some scientists claim that psychopaths were simply born that way because they physically have fewer parts of the brain required to feel emotion, as indicated by brain imaging. That is false. Autism is a severe degenerative condition both spiritually and neurologically. These people started out with a normal human capability for feeling and through the ravages of time, gut dysbiosis poisoning the brain and body, oxidative stress, and most of all, consistently poor moral choices, gradually lost it. Over time, those lost areas of the brain are filled in as if they were never there.
One of the symptoms is the strange sort of split facial affect that some people have noticed, where it looks as if "one side of her face is dead-fish autistic and the other side wants to seduce you". The right side of her brain has been taken over, to the extent that the thalamus has been compromised. This region of the brain does a great many important things, but one of them is helping coordinate between the left and right halves of the brain.
Another is conveying information about current motions from the regions in the brain where emotions actually happen, to the conscious mind. When this function fails, the person is literally unaware of their own emotions. This, too, is part of psychopathy. It starts out with a deliberate decision to refuse to feel guilt, for whatever reason, and the thalamus will gradually stop relaying more and more emotional information to the conscious mind. Usually, it happens slowly enough that the person doesn't notice.
It seems desirable to them at first, because they are no longer aware of sensations like their own guilt or depression. But you always end up like Aella, promoting pedophilia if not actually engaging in it, while actually being deeply depressed and unaware of it. (The
thing that you invite in through a prolonged intense desire to not feel guilt
always wants more child molestation in the world, without fail.) And this is in part how you end up filthy from not showering, having little sex, while insisting to everyone around you that you're just fine and they are the ones with the problem.
As for why psychopaths tend to claim that they were always like that? Well, as psychopaths, they are utterly shameless and practiced liars. Taking their self-descriptions at face value is like taking a pedophile's self-descriptions at face value; a pedophile, being something else dishonest and less than fully human that Aella also is.