Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Kuritan Deplorable]

(even if they did get a deer there's no way in hell they're getting it butchered within 24 hours)

Consider the possibility of Jack saying he can do it. I know he'd be shouting it to the hills if he was gonna do it, but a man can dream be hagridden over this shit.

 

[That Damned Tiger]

This was a terrible attempt, but I got you.

Spoiler: Emoji Art

View attachment 5521769

ETA: A hunting update, seems he’s still alive.

View attachment 5521798

Imagine Jack trying to cook and enjoy venison.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Imagine Jack trying to cook and enjoy venison.

So Jack's sitting in the truck. He can't get out without help, and even then he can barely ambulate, so best case scenario is cell phone coverage so he can amuse himself watching videos.

The menfolk return, carrying a fresh deer carcass between them. The wendigo spirit can smell the blood, dripping from its still-warm body cavity, but it can't move Jack's dead arm to unfasten the seat belt and let it flop out of the cab, trying to get closer to the freshest meat it's smelled in ages.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

come to think of it Japan also has many, many flavors of Cheetos as well when Americans are limited to only 3. What's going on here?

Japan really likes to bring out new flavors of products then they disappear forever. It's a shame because some of them were really good.

Part of it, especially the seasonal ones, are based on the seasons. The Japanese love to celebrate each season. So you see things like special "winter" orange juice sold in stores which contains like 20% tangerine juice as tangerines are a winter staple. Or you have a product that comes out during the spring that evokes the idea of sitting under a sakura tree. And so on. It's also why the Japanese love to say they're the only country that has four distinct seasons.

I dread the idea of his trigger discipline if he's given the rifle. Not just for the obvious of an idiot with a gun, but he's one armed, with a long rifle. That means you're gonna be gripping hard with that one hand to keep any real control of it. At that point, the weight shifting forward for any reason would easily slide an inexperienced shooters finger off a forward point and into the trigger guard, at the same time instinct will say to squeeze hard to get control of the falling item.

This is an ND into someones leg just waiting to happen.

It's why it's as ridiculous as Jagoff saying they had handguns in the home. How is this stroked out faggot going to rack the slide with one functioning hand? He'd actually be better off with a revolver at least that way he could somehow load / reload without blowing his balls off.

Why would anyone want to sit in a truck on a hunting trip. You're less than useless, you're wasted gas milage. Then again, anyone who hands Jack a gun deserves a bullet in the ass / darwin award.

It's because he sees himself as a real man and real men hunt. But since he's stroked out and can't actually move he needs to stay in the truck while Charles does all the work including having to dress the deer.

The menfolk return, carrying a fresh deer carcass between them. The wendigo spirit can smell the blood, dripping from its still-warm body cavity, but it can't move Jack's dead arm to unfasten the seat belt and let it flop out of the cab, trying to get closer to the freshest meat it's smelled in ages.

But the tongue... that's a different story. I swear if Jagoff were completely paralyzed because of his strokes his tongue would be the only part that still moved.

 

[p1138]

It's why it's as ridiculous as Jagoff saying they had handguns in the home. How is this stroked out faggot going to rack the slide with one functioning hand? He'd actually be better off with a revolver at least that way he could somehow load / reload without blowing his balls off.

That's actually not that hard. You can do it off a belt loop or any hard surface. Hell, people will do it with red dots and shit. Been a thing for a while. Even tall enough sights will allow it.


THAT SAID... you still need some sort of dexterity with a working arm to do it, and not to be a fatass retard. Fatty probably couldn't get to his belt to do it off that even with a little clip thing made for it because his rolls would get in the way.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

That's actually not that hard. You can do it off a belt loop or any hard surface. Hell, people will do it with red dots and shit. Been a thing for a while. Even tall enough sights will allow it.
View attachment 5522577

THAT SAID... you still need some sort of dexterity with a working arm to do it, and not to be a fatass retard. Fatty probably couldn't get to his belt to do it off that even with a little clip thing made for it because his rolls would get in the way.

Sure that's possible but it seems too... unsafe to me. And he'd be doing it with his non-dominant hand. I don't care if it's possible in that sense. To be able to do it with any kind of speed or efficiency that's something you probably have to practice. That's why I said it would be safer for him to use a revolver.

 

[Stan]

Which makes me wonder. What do we kiwis think the Scalfani abode smells of?

I'd bet a mixture of old cooking grease, sugary bbq sauce, stale cheese, wet dog, Jack's soiled Depends underwear, and just a hint of pumpkin spice.

I think Jack smells like sweat and bacon grease. I imagine it’s difficult to get yourself clean with only one working arm. The household itself probably smells fine..

Because he's slowly dying, and even he is starting to sense it amidst his deterioration. Knowing it's going to be soon, it's leading him to question whether he's truly going to be let into the pearly gates, despite the repeated assurances he was given by Murderchurch. Sure, he said the correct prayers, held the correct beliefs, and hated the correct reprobates...but how can *he* be certain that St. Peter isn't going to laugh, call him a lukewarm phony (Rev. 3:15-16), and press the gallows door that drops him into the lake of fire to spend eternity getting raped by Satan? This then creates a feeling of insecurity, which is causing him to scramble to "get his ducks in order" for when the inevitable kerplunk happens. Jack likely thinks that this endeavor will build his credibility with the man upstairs, and put him on more favorable footing for when the time comes.

So yeah..."Let me into heaven, Jeebus! I madeded you a hat and shirt!" is what it boils down to.

I think George Carlin called this phenomenon of old and infirm people getting more into their religion as “studying for the test”.

The four letter name of God is supposed to be treated with great respect and was only uttered by the High Priest in the Temple. That's why Jesus calls God "father" instead of YHWH. It's not meant to be splattered on your shitty merch to make money.

The YHWH Tetragrammaton is just a placeholder. The real Name is unspeakable, just like the face of God is unviewable. They both exist but humans die if they get too close.

This guy goes on and on about fake foods but is fine with cake mix and fucking off-brand Cool Whip. Have you seen the ingredients on that?

I don’t have a problem with cake mix - it’s useful if you’re poor and can’t afford to buy 11 different ingredients you mostly will not use until you bake again. Cool Whip is fucking shit though. Do not eat it. .

A stabilized version involves whipping some mascarpone into it as well.

Okay now we’re just headed back into (actually good and safe to eat) Cool Whip territory, or towards a tiramisu filling.

If there is a Heaven, that'd be funny seeing Jack riding around in his scooter.

I’ll let you know one of these days if I see him there

And good reasons an exorcist needs to visit.

The Book of Common Prayer has a rite for exorcism, but you need a bishop and diocesan permission to do it, which you’re unlikely to get because nearly every issue that could be addressed with exorcism is just plain old mental illness, not actual demonic possession.

Since Kit-Kats have been brought up, is there a reason why Japan is so obsessed with these? You would think all these flavors would be available in the house of the hamburger instead, come to think of it Japan also has many, many flavors of Cheetos as well when Americans are limited to only 3. What's going on here?

They love that name, idk why. Also American kit-kats do not taste as good as the Japanese ones, I think the Ami ones are made with cheaper chocolate or something.

 

[rubytintedchix]

I find it weird that Charles is visiting at all. How many times has he visited the fatties since they moved to Tennessee? Why all of the sudden the interest to come out? I mean it could be all the fake meat sperging…and the only way to know it’s fresh is to kill it yourself. But, maybe this is a farewell tour for fatty. Let’s go to Fatlinburg one last time. Let’s go to Disney one last time. Let’s have Charles go hunting with this brother one last time. Etc.

I don’t know. It’s just weird.

 

[p1138]

They love that name, idk why. Also American kit-kats do not taste as good as the Japanese ones, I think the Ami ones are made with cheaper chocolate or something.

US kitkats are a Hershey product, internationally they're a Nestle product. And of course Hershey is one of the worst chocolate brands on the planet as far as taste goes.

Long story short, Hershey chocolate has butyric acid in it, which tastes like vomit. Hershey doesn't add butyric acid to their chocolate, but it does come from milk going rancid(it's in other stuff too, various cheeses and things), so the general assumption is that Hershey does something to the milk they're adding to their chocolate, likely to aid in shelf stability(because butyric acid does that) but won't admit to(they don't have to) what their actual production process involves. because Hershey won't admit to how they process their milk or chocolate in general, there's all sorts of rumors/conspiracies/whatever about this, especially since most other decent chocolate brands don't have this issue. And that's before getting into the weird part about Hershey chocolate having a rubbery consistency at room temperature(also disgusting, and noticeable with a plain Hershey bar), so who knows what causes that since it isn't normal either. This would be why europeans tend to complain about american chocolate, because theirs doesn't have this shit in it.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Jack must have had no internet access in the woods yesterday. He’s online sperging again.

I wonder how he survived without eating for several hours. He must have been insufferable to be around.

 

[30+GameOvers]

US kitkats are a Hershey product, internationally they're a Nestle product. And of course Hershey is one of the worst chocolate brands on the planet as far as taste goes.

Long story short, Hershey chocolate has butyric acid in it, which tastes like vomit. Hershey doesn't add butyric acid to their chocolate, but it does come from milk going rancid(it's in other stuff too, various cheeses and things), so the general assumption is that Hershey does something to the milk they're adding to their chocolate, likely to aid in shelf stability(because butyric acid does that) but won't admit to(they don't have to) what their actual production process involves. because Hershey won't admit to how they process their milk or chocolate in general, there's all sorts of rumors/conspiracies/whatever about this, especially since most other decent chocolate brands don't have this issue. And that's before getting into the weird part about Hershey chocolate having a rubbery consistency at room temperature(also disgusting, and noticeable with a plain Hershey bar), so who knows what causes that since it isn't normal either. This would be why europeans tend to complain about american chocolate, because theirs doesn't have this shit in it.

I've heard way back that Hershey uses powdered milk to make their chocolate, and that stuff is nasty. Haven't done my research on it, but I would avoid anything that admits to using powdered milk all the same

 

[DontEatThat_2.0]

Imagine that hunting trip. You have his brother with his gay Reddit atheist chatter. And you have Jack endlessly blabbing about pro-Israel shit pumped into him by his Zionist mega church. It’d be enough for me to turn that rifle on myself.

I can see the trip as Charles just actually hunting (and not doing very well) and spewing the carnivore lifestyle and how sugar feeds cancer cells while Jack is sitting in a scootie drooling going, yeah thats why I quit that shit and ive never been better while consuming a pile of snacks high in sugar.

 

[Kulee Baba]

US kitkats are a Hershey product, internationally they're a Nestle product. And of course Hershey is one of the worst chocolate brands on the planet as far as taste goes.

Long story short, Hershey chocolate has butyric acid in it, which tastes like vomit. Hershey doesn't add butyric acid to their chocolate, but it does come from milk going rancid(it's in other stuff too, various cheeses and things), so the general assumption is that Hershey does something to the milk they're adding to their chocolate, likely to aid in shelf stability(because butyric acid does that) but won't admit to(they don't have to) what their actual production process involves. because Hershey won't admit to how they process their milk or chocolate in general, there's all sorts of rumors/conspiracies/whatever about this, especially since most other decent chocolate brands don't have this issue. And that's before getting into the weird part about Hershey chocolate having a rubbery consistency at room temperature(also disgusting, and noticeable with a plain Hershey bar), so who knows what causes that since it isn't normal either. This would be why europeans tend to complain about american chocolate, because theirs doesn't have this shit in it.

Too add more to the Hershey mythos my understanding is that Hershey’s more or less overcooked the milk making the infamous butyric acid ingredient/flavor and that just became part of the recipe.

But as noted butyric acid is part of Parmesan Cheese and who hates that? It’s gross to Europeans because they didn’t have Hershey’s shitty chocolate, but it’s not like the Hershey’s chocolate is actually “rancid.”

To my Americanized tastes Hershey and Mars Candy chocolate are both really shitty poor quality chocolate and ya get what you pay for. Milka and Ritter are no doubt better chocolate but we’re comparing cheap stuff to decent candy.

 

[She Brings The Rain]

When Jack kicks it, I want this thread to stay open so you guys can keep sperging about food and recipes and shit because I've learned so much from these autistic tangents.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Picture was posted at 7:30pm, well after any hunting would be done. Jagoff decided to post a picture of the two dudes walking away from the truck instead of a picture of the deer his brother apparently shot. What's the likelihood that Jagoff is just lying so he can pretend to cook venison? (even if they did get a deer there's no way in hell they're getting it butchered within 24 hours)

Most states have special rules for special people (I.e. crippled hunters) that give them all sorts of advantages allowing them privileges and exceptions well above and beyond normal non crippled hunters .

I have no idea of laws and regulations for crippled hunters in Tennesee, but I have seen anything from extended/early seasons, extended hours, designated cripple hunting areas, permitted to use rifle in black powder season, permitted to use semi autos in bolt action season, permitted to use shotgun or crossbow in bow hunting season., being able to hunt from vehicles, being able to use bait (I.e. freeze dried skittles)

Personally I’m all for giving Jack more time to play with guns inna’ woods. Our sacred second amendment has some amazing properties.

 

[Your Favorite New Friend]

designated cripple hunting areas

Glad to see America is taking eugenics seriously again.

 

[Mr Steal Your Farm]

Most states have special rules for special people (I.e. crippled hunters) that give them all sorts of advantages allowing them privileges and exceptions well above and beyond normal non crippled hunters .

I have no idea of laws and regulations for crippled hunters in Tennesee, but I have seen anything from extended/early seasons, extended hours, designated cripple hunting areas, permitted to use rifle in black powder season, permitted to use semi autos in bolt action season, permitted to use shotgun or crossbow in bow hunting season., being able to hunt from vehicles, being able to use bait (I.e. freeze dried skittles)

Personally I’m all for giving Jack more time to play with guns inna’ woods. Our sacred second amendment has some amazing properties.

Yes they get special privileges as a disabled hunter, but ultimately you will only go so far.

Jack has very little mobility, and even if he was able to fit on an ATV and qualify as a disabled hunter, he would still need to endure the physical exertion of riding one. Needless to say, he certainly did not walk to a hunting site.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Yes they get special privileges as a disabled hunter, but ultimately you will only go so far.

Jack has very little mobility, and even if he was able to fit on an ATV and qualify as a disabled hunter, he would still need to endure the physical exertion of riding one. Needless to say, he certainly did not walk to a hunting site.

Trapping might be a better choice for Jack. Charles could stick his dead meat claw in a trap as bait.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I don’t have a problem with cake mix - it’s useful if you’re poor and can’t afford to buy 11 different ingredients you mostly will not use until you bake again.

I disagree because most of the ingredients either last forever or are stuff you normally use. But that's not the point. It's that he bitches about sugar and how Dunkin needs to have healthy snacks then makes cookies from cake mix and Cool whip which are full of sugar and artificial ingredients. He says one thing then does something that is opposite to that.

Also American kit-kats do not taste as good as the Japanese ones, I think the Ami ones are made with cheaper chocolate or something.

Yes. The ones in Japan taste great. Really chocolatey. Back in Japan we used to have this vending machine close to work that would sell a glass bottle of about maybe 10 mini Kit Kats and it was refrigerated so they came out cold. Japan in the summer gets VERY hot so it makes sense. But those ones were amazing.

And of course Hershey is one of the worst chocolate brands on the planet as far as taste goes.

I always hated Hershey chocolate. It wasn't until i tried one from Canada that I realized how bad American Hershey products are.

my understanding is that Hershey’s more or less overcooked the milk making the infamous butyric acid ingredient/flavor and that just became part of the recipe.

Actually it's from when they originally made it. They had to cart in milk from outside and by the time it arrived it had soured a bit due to refrigeration not being thing. And milk, when it goes off a touch, makes butyric acid. When they started getting refrigerated box cars to carry the milk people complained that the chocolate didn't taste the same. So they artifically soured the milk to give it that flavor.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Trapping might be a better choice for Jack. Charles could stick his dead meat claw in a trap as bait.

I just got the mental image of Charles and Jack trying to noodle for catfish with the dead arm