Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[FinnSven]

Jedward. Patrick is Jedward. And even those two little pricks are at least hypothetically likeable, to someone. Maybe.

One thing for certain, he certainly is not likable enough to be asked to help on Comic Relief or Live Aid.

Geldof would find his approach to solving African hunger disturbing at the very least.

 

[Tablet County]

Jedward. Patrick is Jedward. And even those two little pricks are at least hypothetically likeable, to someone. Maybe.

I haven't heard of the paintbrush twins since I last watched Never Mind the Buzzcocks.

Tbf, so does the Government...actually, I don't think that makes it any better. That probably just brings down Washington to Pat-levels. Horrifying.

Or is Pat merely meeting the standards our politicians set? Is Patrick really just a fat asshole or is he the product of his cultural surroundings? Or is he just a fat asshole?

 

[bile demon]

Some of the kids appear to be happy in these.

Patrick's generous with corn starch rations to ensure the pepperoni is succulent and rich in omega-N fatty acids.

 

[WelperHelper99]

Pat merely meeting the standards our politicians set? Is Patrick really just a fat asshole or is he the product of his cultural surroundings? Or is he just a fat asshole?

Pat would be the perfect politician. Fat, clueless, and always bitching about what people can or can't do (on the platform formerly known as Twitter).

 

[cerulean hydra]

Pat worries if his books will fill enough space. Bro, when I've written my stories, I've found I've had to chop shit down, what are you on about? Your lexicon and creativity must truly be tiny if you can't hit the minimum word count

It's because he doesn't write often. He refuses to finish a series without the publisher giving him a deal, and he's only writing Tiny Tim because he has to pay Niki's mom back. He doesn't do it for fun, or for the love of it; and he likely doesn't have many projects, finished or unfinished, other than what we actually know about. 6 terrible books he's proud enough to put on his website, the two Abyss Walker books, and Tiny Tim.

I had that feeling a lot when I started, ironically inspired by "if Fatrick can do it, anybody can." It goes away once you get a grip on scope and subplots. It's like I said before, most of his books only have 20k words or so of actual content. The rest is padding to fill the space because he's so devoid of actual ideas.

 

[WelperHelper99]

It's because he doesn't write often. He refuses to finish a series without the publisher giving him a deal, and he's only writing Tiny Tim because he has to pay Niki's mom back. He doesn't do it for fun, or for the love of it; and he likely doesn't have many projects, finished or unfinished, other than what we actually know about. 6 terrible books he's proud enough to put on his website, the two Abyss Walker books, and Tiny Tim.

I had that feeling a lot when I started, ironically inspired by "if Fatrick can do it, anybody can." It goes away once you get a grip on scope and subplots. It's like I said before, most of his books only have 20k words or so of actual content. The rest is padding to fill the space because he's so devoid of actual ideas.

I find it sad that many want to write and get blocked at the door, yet Pat, his books full of fluff, gets to have a opportunity few others do. Still you're right in a way its inspiring, because if pat can do it, you can too.

 

[Chongqing]

>Patrick S. Colonson @stealthycolon
still can't get over the fact that patrick treats these silly clowns as hardened criminals and international terrorists

I read this as some version of, "Stealthy Colon can't get over it."

I thought to myself, "well what else is Stealthy Colon thinking?"

It just goes to show how absurd all of these interactions are, and Patrick can't see that, which is truly remarkable.

 

[grapeshark77]

He followed like 30+ accounts yesterday, unfortunately Elon's X won't show them in the proper order anymore.

Also I read the linked article and it's far more complicated, - not about miscarrying but how she acted. But this isn't about politics, it's about Pat. Please enjoy his failed joke that didn't even get a pity like because it sounds racist.

 

[Free the Pedos]

He followed like 30+ accounts yesterday, unfortunately Elon's X won't show them in the proper order anymore.

Also I read the linked article and it's far more complicated, - not about miscarrying but how she acted. But this isn't about politics, it's about Pat. Please enjoy his failed joke that didn't even get a pity like because it sounds racist.

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I had to look into this. The woman miscarried at 22 weeks. Miscarried fetuses require a death certificate after 20 weeks, and there's a definite body to be disposed of at that point.

“The issue isn’t how the child died, when the child died — it’s the fact that the baby was put into a toilet, large enough to clog up a toilet, left in that toilet and she went on [with] her day,” said Warren assistance prosecutor Lewis Guarnieri.

I don't think she deserves a felony, but ngl I think it's kind of fucked up to flush a baby the size of a sweet potato down the toilet.

 

[FinnSven]

I don't think she deserves a felony, but ngl I think it's kind of fucked up to flush a baby the size of a sweet potato down the toilet.

Spoiler: Horribly bad taste joke.

She could have got some advice from Fatrick. I am sure that after his beef Wellington he regularly passes sweet potato sized efforts.

 

[AnOminous]

I think someone said it was marginally better in his first book, so maybe he had just enough promise to squeak by on the 3-book deal before completely shitting the bed, but I will bend over backwards and eat my own arse if he manages to get his Tiny Tim garbage published.

It's interesting he's "writing" the whole thing before even pitching it. An established writer will often write a sample chapter and an outline and have his agent shop it around, only actually writing it once a contract is signed. It suggests he has a bad enough reputation in the field they're really only shelling out if it's something finished.

 

[cerulean hydra]

It's interesting he's "writing" the whole thing before even pitching it. An established writer will often write a sample chapter and an outline and have his agent shop it around, only actually writing it once a contract is signed. It suggests he has a bad enough reputation in the field they're really only shelling out if it's something finished.

IIRC, in one of the first tweets about it he said his agent "loved" the idea.

It might have been a lie, who knows. He certainly isn't being paid for it yet, since he let it sit for so long until it became a requirement. I find it hard to believe there's a publisher waiting for it though. Not when Tor outright told him to pound sand with his planned Starship Repo/Gate Crashers "comedy sci-fi" series and write something else. In The Black was supposed to be part of a new series, too. Tor clearly didn't want that either.

Maybe his agent was trying to appease him and gave him some empty promises. I look forward to him squealing about getting shafted.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

If Pat manages to get A Christmas Cringe published traditionally I have no other choice but to believe it's because he found a brain dead publisher who'll suck Pat's faucet just because he parrots the correct beliefs for current year on Xitter, and "muh huwite right wing stalker childs."

Keep your eyes open on Nick Rekieta, i feel he's coming from behind for it.

I know Nose has been speedrunning his downfall but other than deciding to pedoguard and calling Null while showering I don't think he's done anything really remarkable this year. How many times has his thread been featured this year? I also don't think we've ever gotten clear concrete proof about Hedo 2.

The frequency of being mentioned on MATI is in his favor however.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Also I read the linked article and it's far more complicated, - not about miscarrying but how she acted.

Fatrick's bad jokes don't care about reality. Haven't you seen his stand up specials?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

IIRC, in one of the first tweets about it he said his agent "loved" the idea.

No, he said his agent was “intrigued.” Translation: The agent said “That will never sell, but knock yourself out if you want to write the whole thing and send it to me. No publisher is going to snap it up based on a proposal and sample chapter.”

 

[Something Awful]

Haha! Stalker children! When Patrick S. Tomlinson finishes a manuscript, his agent sends it to publishers, and then it gets published. Simple as.

Spoiler: It's not technically a rejection if they simply don't reply for years

 

[AGPinochet]

Why doesn't Patrick?

1.2 GPA and

from all the Niggeroni

 

[FinnSven]

Haha! Stalker children! When Patrick S. Tomlinson finishes a manuscript, his agent sends it to publishers, and then it gets published. Simple as.

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Spoiler: It's not technically a rejection if they simply don't reply for years

View attachment 5530030
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It’s got to be embarrassing to be a published author yet unable to get a finished manuscript published.

It’s supposed to be the other way round, the publisher threatening legal action and reclaiming the advance, because the writer still hasn’t produced a manuscript.

 

[Oliver Onions]

No, he said his agent was “intrigued.” Translation: The agent said “That will never sell, but knock yourself out if you want to write the whole thing and send it to me. No publisher is going to snap it up based on a proposal and sample chapter.”

His agent, who is definitely not the disinterested barwoman at Hoolie's, said she was intrigued in the same way a mother will say 'uh huh, that's nice dear' when her five year old says he's a spaceman.

 

[Something Awful]

His agent, who is definitely not the disinterested barwoman at Hoolie's, said she was intrigued in the same way a mother will say 'uh huh, that's nice dear' when her five year old says he's a spaceman.

Reminds me of this tweet:



That's the only question? Sounds like they're just being polite. If anyone was actually excited about or even interested in the book, wouldn't they ask something more if they had a chance to talk with the author?