Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[A Silly Possum]

his birthday is a day away

He's literally been mentioning his birthday 3 times a day at least for the last 3 weeks. It's pathetic groveling. Every post has either no engagement or a single reaction from one guy who unironically agrees with everything Lucas says.

But this was particularly funny. He's getting denied his free fucking Red Robin burger this year LMAO


Also, imagine him showing up to some competition with this 2nd grade crayon scribbled "board" expecting to win against people who take the hobby seriously and 3d print or even commission their game pieces. His loss if he actually goes through with it will be goddamn hilarious. Has he ever entered into any contest like this before?

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Also, imagine him showing up to some competition with this 2nd grade crayon scribbled "board" expecting to win against people who take the hobby seriously and 3d print or even commission their game pieces. His loss if he actually goes through with it will be goddamn hilarious. Has he ever entered into any contest like this before?

I would love to see the look on the judges' faces while he's trying to explain his overly complicated, incredibly autistic gameplay dynamics.

 

[WonderWino]

He's literally been mentioning his birthday 3 times a day at least for the last 3 weeks. It's pathetic groveling. Every post has either no engagement or a single reaction from one guy who unironically agrees with everything Lucas says.

Either that guy agreeing with him is a troll playing a long con to get info or he's another idiot predator like lucas. Given his history i'm thinking its more likely the former

But this was particularly funny. He's getting denied his free fucking Red Robin burger this year LMAO

Ooh I bet he is big mad about that. He must have been looking forward to that all year and always makes a point of bragging about it like a little kid. The best part is he admits its gone from free to $5 and thinks that is them being 'cheapskates' instead of him being greedy and unwilling to get a job. $5 is cheap, especially at places like red robin. and of course he has to say 'its $5, now will someone give me $25' immediately after. Way to be greedy there lucas. Because of course he wouldn't be contented with just the $5 burger

Also, imagine him showing up to some competition with this 2nd grade crayon scribbled "board" expecting to win against people who take the hobby seriously and 3d print or even commission their game pieces. His loss if he actually goes through with it will be goddamn hilarious. Has he ever entered into any contest like this before?

This is a first for him as far as i'm aware. I suspect there is a cash prize involved and he convinced himself he's a great board game designer that will easily prove it and win the prize with his super complicated, super original game that even he can't explain or understand half the time. Remember how those videos of him playing with jamie went? Now replace jamie with several judges who all make a point of grilling him on how the game works and make a point of pointing out when something doesn't make sense or doesn't work and will tell him to his face its a bad game that doesn't make any sense, and keep in mind that this will happen in front of a room full of people and that lucas will probably be his usual unshowered, unmedicated self and you can see how this will end. Lucas can't even handle someone commenting on his youtube videos when his game doesn't make sense, he's going to lose his shit and cause a scene in front of everyone when the judges do it in person and he can't just block them and ignore it. and you just know they'll lay into him about it because as you said his game is a scribbled and thrown together piece of shit compared to people who do this stuff as an actual full on hobby and take it seriously. Game designers can be like train obsessed autists with their stuff and they will lay into lucas about how bad his game is

If lucas has any sense at all he'll drop the idea and stay away from competitions like that. There is no way it'll end well for him. His behavior and attitude alone is going to ensure it ends badly for him. Lucas cannot stand even the smallest criticism, let alone about something he considers himself practically a genius at. Even he admits that. There is no way lucas understands what he's signing himself up for. This is exactly the kind of situation that will land him on the news again for losing his shit at a public event like this. He'll be lucky if he is able to leave of his own volition and isn't arrested or sent back to the looney bin for a few months. and if there are any zoomer gamer girl types at the event god help everyone involved. Lets not forget how he spazzed out at the last security guard that stepped in to tell him to back off. and that was at a place where guards are supposed to be lenient because the people there are usually not playing with the full deck. That isn't the case at public events like this

I won't be the slightest bit surprised if this event ends with lucas having a manic spaz out over criticism of his game by the judges, getting arrested or committed and ending up with another news segment, which naturally would quickly bring up his past newsworthy behavior. As I pointed out some pages ago, this is one of those 'everyone else sees it coming because they understand lucas and how he thinks but lucas won't see it coming at all' moments

The only game crafter challenge being judged in february that I can find is this at least its not an in person thing this time, assuming this is the one he's referring to

Contest start date: November 10, 2023 12:27 PM

As shipping prices continue to soar and as online sales continue to grow, games that provide excellent gameplay that are also compact and inexpensive to ship become more and more enticing to both publishers and customers.

And when all it takes is a few extra dice and meeples to push a package into a more expensive shipping cost bracket, every ounce matters.

So, for this contest, your challenge is to pack as much game as possible into a box that weighs 16 ounces or less.

And the goal is to be as close to the 16 ounces as possible. (We’re not looking for micro games or 18-card wallet games!) So, get creative with how components are used. People should get done playing and wonder how in the world you fit that much game into a box that weighs so little.

Examples​

• Games in the Tiny Epic series
• Eight-Minute Empire: Legends
• Pandemic: The Cure
• The Last Stronghold
• Hunted: Kobayashi Tower

Judge​

Gabe Barrett - Founder of Best With 1 Games and the Board Game Design Lab

Contest start date: November 10, 2023 12:27 PM

To qualify, your game must comply with all of the following rules:

• The game must weigh between 8 and 16 ounces. (16.01oz is not allowed) Game weight can be found in the At a Glance section on your game’s Components page.
• Please put the weight in parenthesis after the game’s title. [GAME NAME (14.2oz)]
• Any theme, player count, and mechanism is allowed. (All solo games will be considered for publication, but player count will have no effect on contest judging.)
• The game should play in 60 minutes or less.
• The game must have a printed rulebook and a box.
• Your game may use any theme, mechanism, and player count.
• Though not explicitly required, a 2-minute overview video is highly encouraged.
• All artwork must be your own, commissioned by you, licensed to you, or in the public domain. Be sure to attribute your images when required.
• Full rules must be included in the game. You can provide links to other sources, but players need to be able to learn how to play your game just by reading the rules that come in the game.
• A PDF rules document must be downloadable from your game's shop page.
• The total cost of your game must be less than $99.99.
• The game must be publish-ready (as it relates to our shop, not as it relates to being finished). This means it has a logo, backdrop, shop ad, action shots, description, and cool factors. It must also have all images proofed.
• This must be a new game created for this contest. It cannot have existed on TGC prior to the start of the contest.
• All entries must be submitted through TGC's game editor (by clicking on the "Contests" button) no later than 6pm US Central on February 15, 2024.
• Games and their shop page should not be changed after the contest deadline, until the finalists have been announced.
• Contestants may submit multiple entries to this contest. Each entry will be judged separately.

The winner shall receive all of the following prizes:​

• $100 from Best With 1 Games
• A trophy to put on your mantle
• $350 of shop credit on thegamecrafter.com.
• Automatic Showcase status for their game on thegamecrafter.com.
• The possibility of judging a future contest.
• Induction into The Game Crafter Hall of Fame.
• Semi-finalists, finalists, and the winner will all receive accolades for their achievements.

Finalists will be chosen from the group of semi-finalists by the following criteria:

• Gameplay - Is there a lot of gameplay in a light package?
• Creativity - Does the game overcome the weight constraint in interesting ways?
• Product Viability - Would the game do well in the marketplace?
• Rules Clarity - Are the rules easy to understand?
• Shop Page - Does the shop page provide a good overview of what the game is and how it plays?

Yeah I knew there was a cash prize involved

Finalists will be judged on the following criteria. (Each section is worth 10 points):

• Fun - Is the game enjoyable to play? Are we impressed by how much gameplay was packed inside the box?
• Creativity - How well did the designer overcome the weight constraint?
• Product Viability - How well would the game do in a crowdfunding campaign and on the current market?
• X-Factor - What makes the game special and stand out from the rest?

LOL lucas is fucked in every one of those judging criteria

 

[Da Dude123]

Just saw on the Brokeposting page that some exceptional individual sent the mooo cow $20. What a waste of money.

 

[neutral grandpa]

He's literally been mentioning his birthday 3 times a day at least for the last 3 weeks. It's pathetic groveling. Every post has either no engagement or a single reaction from one guy who unironically agrees with everything Lucas says.

But this was particularly funny. He's getting denied his free fucking Red Robin burger this year LMAO
View attachment 5523956

Also, imagine him showing up to some competition with this 2nd grade crayon scribbled "board" expecting to win against people who take the hobby seriously and 3d print or even commission their game pieces. His loss if he actually goes through with it will be goddamn hilarious. Has he ever entered into any contest like this before?
View attachment 5523957

Imagine being in your mid 40's and not having 5 dollars for a burger. what a waste of life Lucas continues to be

 

[WonderWino]

Just saw on the Brokeposting page that some exceptional individual sent the mooo cow $20. What a waste of money.

View attachment 5525507

Why am I not surprised. Gee, I wonder who it was who sent that, totally wasn't the one guy agreeing with everything lucas says on his posts i'm sure. and i'm sure lucas is excited about getting a whole $20 in his mid 40s like he's an 8 year old

If he was going to be a dumbass and send him money he could have at least done it in an amusing way, like sending it in italian lira, so lucas thought he was getting a ton of money only to find out its like $5 when converted

That said, the day of the year when lucas is most entitled and full of himself is here. The young zoomers of spokane would be wise to spend the days indoors and away from coffee shops, being sure to place a christian crucifix on their front door and ensure their trash cans are locked securely to deter the wern from trying to enter their homes. Like vampire, once invited inside he'll never leave and will suck you dry of everything he can get from you. If zoomers must leave their homes on this day, be sure to carry a can of pepper spray and a crucifix around your neck to deter lucas when he inevitably leers at your tits

I wonder how long it'll be before he brags about his $20 and the $5 burger he buys from red robin with it

 

[Da Dude123]

So the Wern's birthday has passed us. Any updates on him posting about his cash app donations? Or him heading to Red Robin's for his $5 "birthday burger" complete with all you can eat fries and $0 tip?

 

[VoidFace]

So we're, what, six years out from his promise to off himself at 50, right? We all know he won't, of course, even if it were likely he will make it six more years. But assuming he did make it, and assuming he was going to go through with it, how would he do it?

Would it just be another "I don't want to live so I'm going to stop taking insulin" kind of "attempt"?

 

[WonderWino]

So we're, what, six years out from his promise to off himself at 50, right? We all know he won't, of course, even if it were likely he will make it six more years. But assuming he did make it, and assuming he was going to go through with it, how would he do it?

Would it just be another "I don't want to live so I'm going to stop taking insulin" kind of "attempt"?

His claim of killing himself was 55 not 50. By then he'd just bs about some new study he found that says the best fathers are 50 - 85 and probably cite james doohan having another kid when he was extremely old and half dead from beetus and parkinsons

Kind of a moot point though considering lucas already has one foot in the grave and the odds of him making it to 50 let alone 55 are near zero. He's almost at the point where age related problems start to kick in and will fuck him big time. Especially seeing as he's never able to take his meds properly unless he's forced to. When he ends up on the street again - and he will, its too ingrained in his nature not to fuck things up eventually, he'll be dead inside of 6 months. Probably from his kidney issues resurfacing when he goes back to stuffing himself with energy drinks and shit tier food

That said i'm surprised theres been no post of him bragging about his birthday meal bought with his whole $20. After his $5 birthday meal he must have gorged on whatever he could get his hands on with whatever he had left. Either that or he tried to get a bottle of cheap booze or some weed. Still, odd that he hasn't gone out of his way to brag about it like he always does. Makes me wonder if he got pissy cause of the lack of money and food on his birthday and got himself in some trouble. Or spent the majority of his $20 on the way to get his $5 meal and forgot to take taxes into account and couldn't pay for his meal. Not a likely possibility but I wouldn't exactly put it past him either. Lucas getting a couple days in jail or having to wear an ankle bracelet for a few days again because he couldn't pay for a $5 birthday meal would be peak lucas and fucking hilarious. and definitely not something he'd want to advertise

 

[Da Dude123]

So we're, what, six years out from his promise to off himself at 50, right? We all know he won't, of course, even if it were likely he will make it six more years. But assuming he did make it, and assuming he was going to go through with it, how would he do it?

Would it just be another "I don't want to live so I'm going to stop taking insulin" kind of "attempt"?

Yeah, it was definitely 55. But as I have said before, Lucas has been off the Telomeres and ready to be a dad kick. He really has not mentioned either in a while. But yeah, it is very optimistic to think the cow will make it another 10 years with how fat and unhealthy he is.

 

[Todd Weiss]

Yeah, it was definitely 55. But as I have said before, Lucas has been off the Telomeres and ready to be a dad kick. He really has not mentioned either in a while. But yeah, it is very optimistic to think the cow will make it another 10 years with how far and unhealthy he is.

'Ol Luke has been hacking a lot lately. A wet, raspy cough, familiar to patients with congestive heart failure. Hardly profound, I know, but the auditory feedback is undeniable. Listen close during that cat video; his congestion sounds goddamn horrible!

While his schizophrenic manifestations rear up for the umpteenth time, that's not what'll get him. It's probably the mood stabilizers — a Grand Mal seizure, caused by a lapse in treatment; that'll be his undoing.

10 years? Between the cardiac issues & the antipsychotics? I'm giving him two, at most.

 

[WonderWino]

His narcissism is showing itself again:

Worship me on my birthday he says. He's sorry he didn't make a gift registry. Not that anyone would have sent him anything but what the fuck else did he even have to do? He's greedy and lazy

and of course his birthday is over and he's right back to asking for more money

 

[Bassomatic]

So last night caught up with a buddy who's much less educated in lolcows but, talking about how everyone is tripling down on insane behavior online lately and kinda how we went from tosh.0 to now saying total kike death is ok to post on your Facebook. Odd world we live in.


We talked about the overall hug boxing being damaging and with how rough state is for avg person with wars inflation people still stressed set back from covid etc . So basically we felt the avg person is the angry keyboard kiddy stereotype from early 00s. Much like, Lucas and his atheism. Or more proper his bigotry towards Christianity. He's all about hitting the people who turn the other cheek but too scared to throw bacon on the Quaran or even make fun of Zeus.


But thinking on motivations and how in a way it's sad that your coworkers/aunts/etc feel so powerless and scared in day to day life, start saying shit online like gas the Democrats or what have you.


Now motivation is the reason this all came to be, I apologize if the story setting bored you but, I wanted to set the stage for what I think is with out a doubt now the worst Wern moment.


Yes, after this chat and thinking something smaller side of Lucas history is now by far the stand up grossest, creeper, and flat out scary thing he's ever done.


What is it? What could stand out to a long time Wern watcher as by far his most fucked up misdeed?


Oddly enough, it's something I just made a joke about!


Ready to be a father.


How and why you might ask? It was basic poorly written cringe where Lucas brags how great he is and tells his class he's definitely ready for creampies to a zoomie bae.


Well after the talk with my buddy it dawned on me what this foul paper was!


Lucas as we all know is a pedophile. Little girls are his sexual fetish. Lucas stood in front of class talking about his sexual deviant dreams and goals.


Public speaking is considered scarier to the avg person than death. Many years of my life have I had to do it. I've also had schooling for it. Guess what it still sucks! Unless you're a total ego maniac it's not pleasant.


Lucas was in a situation where as narcissistic as he is he's chicken shit, so speaking would be hard for him we see how socially off he is and why he chooses to yell into his Obama phone in fart box 2.


Lucas wrote about his sexual desires and handed that in for a grade.


College kids are mostly adults, adults have sex. (Aside Lucas) I know what sex is you do too and despite how much or little we get we know terms and acts.


I'd be aghast to even sit in front of friends trusted and say I like my dick sucked. It's sex it's private. Oral sex isn't weird to society. Any of us would be ashamed to talk about that stuff to people who we aren't close too. Many of us still choose to not share our sexuality with platonic people despite trust. My best friend has a key to my house and the hidden safe, but he doesn't know if I like doggy style or cowgirl.


Not only is Lucas ok handing in a term paper about his goal to rape a baby (literally, rip herk) but, hes doing it in a setting where he's around people who don't want to interact him him!


He himself said he was isolated and lonely in school, no shit batman pantaloons! ( Ok probably some shit in the pants but, you know what I mean) Now picture the weird guy in your class talking about how he hopes to rape a baby . It's sutble but, I'm sure it leaked by to anyone active listening (and being He's a freak I'm sure some did for a laugh) He's standing there expecting a good grade for a fucking criminal manual damned near.


No shame not even his cowardly self kicked on and said yo dong bring up pedo stuff in school.


Ready to be a father is a flat out child rape manifesto.


The fact he shared it, wanted to be applauded and rewarded is so fucking insane. I can't take the horrors like trying to get a child to self harm as top anymore because that was in private.


Picture this my fellow kiwis, you're in a classroom and someone talks about their scat fetish and how who cares were consenting adults. super gross. Not just the fact it's a justification for poop sex, but that it's out in the open like that. It wasn't a human sexuality class either for newer readers. This was English one. Where other term papers would be why I like to sail with my dad. Chess is my favorite game and, dumb bell curls are a bad exercise. Things where the writing is the key not the content.


Well the doo doo fucker at least isn't harmful to children.


Simplify what Lucas said and I'll end with some comedy. He earned his title nigger because his goal is get on welfare and have a baby that exists just for his own benefits. At least hood niggers just punch their kids (not internally like Lucas fisting fetish and to really add on the gross he's mentioned both vaginal and anal) and use them for extra food stamps.


Lucas is a sick fucking dog and the only punishment the world should see upon him is sending him back to Myrna where as her brain slides more and more Lucas can Chris chan 2.0 her.


Dumb bitch you should have swallowed.

 

[not in the cards]

His narcissism is showing itself again:
View attachment 5529379

Worship me on my birthday he says. He's sorry he didn't make a gift registry. Not that anyone would have sent him anything but what the fuck else did he even have to do? He's greedy and lazy

and of course his birthday is over and he's right back to asking for more money

I love the implication he makes that anyone would hold it against him for not making a gift registry.

 

[WonderWino]

I love the implication he makes that anyone would hold it against him for not making a gift registry.

Yeah it really shows how highly he thinks of himself, and by extension assumes everyone else sees him. After all, billions of people haven't downvoted his videos, so they must all like him right

I wonder if the real reason he didn't do it is because he's too stupid to figure out how to set up a gift registry. Remember how he had to have someone at the college do all the registration stuff for him despite the fact it was easy to do via their website and had idiot proof instructions on how to do it

I'm a bit surprised nobody responded to that to piss him off saying damn I was going to buy a bunch of shit on it but you didn't bother to set it up. Oh well

That said, with christmas coming up its interesting how lucas will yet again beg for money cause its christmas, yet its literally a christian holiday about jesus. Everything he claims to hate and not believe in. So its real greedy of him to exploit others trying to benefit himself by using it

His parents should piss him off by telling him the air fryer was intended to be his birthday and christmas present. Something he still hasn't apparently used yet. I wonder if he's too stupid to figure out how or if he traded it for some food

 

[not in the cards]

Yeah it really shows how highly he thinks of himself, and by extension assumes everyone else sees him. After all, billions of people haven't downvoted his videos, so they must all like him right

I wonder if the real reason he didn't do it is because he's too stupid to figure out how to set up a gift registry. Remember how he had to have someone at the college do all the registration stuff for him despite the fact it was easy to do via their website and had idiot proof instructions on how to do it

I'm a bit surprised nobody responded to that to piss him off saying damn I was going to buy a bunch of shit on it but you didn't bother to set it up. Oh well

That said, with christmas coming up its interesting how lucas will yet again beg for money cause its christmas, yet its literally a christian holiday about jesus. Everything he claims to hate and not believe in. So its real greedy of him to exploit others trying to benefit himself by using it

His parents should piss him off by telling him the air fryer was intended to be his birthday and christmas present. Something he still hasn't apparently used yet. I wonder if he's too stupid to figure out how or if he traded it for some food

That's a good thing because if billions of people really did know about him, they'd downvote his videos too.

I'd wager that he simply hasn't figured it out. After all, he's the only person I know that could fuck up even the most basic cooking. I'm somewhat convinced that him being too retarded to follow any basic recipe/use any cooking appliance isn't a bad thing as he's too retarded to notice how bad his own food tastes.

 

[A Silly Possum]

The only game crafter challenge being judged in february that I can find is this

Wait I think this is the same website he was building his old games on. If it is, then this is for sure it.

So the Wern's birthday has passed us. Any updates on him posting about his cash app donations? Or him heading to Red Robin's for his $5 "birthday burger" complete with all you can eat fries and $0 tip?

Not much that I've seen besides:

Spoiler: this

and

Spoiler: this fetish meme he made

Other than that he's been surprisingly quiet since his birthday. I'll check back later today to see if he's been pouting or something lmao.

 

[WonderWino]

Wait I think this is the same website he was building his old games on. If it is, then this is for sure it.

Not much that I've seen besides:

Spoiler: this

View attachment 5532324

and

Spoiler: this fetish meme he made

View attachment 5532325

Other than that he's been surprisingly quiet since his birthday. I'll check back later today to see if he's been pouting or something lmao.

Gee, he won't fault people for not sending him cash for his birthday if they do it now. How generous

and what the fuck is that atheist meme? They presume atheists all like cock? Sounds like he got hit on by guy or something and he's trying to tell people he totally isn't gay and doesn't like cock again

I'd wager that he simply hasn't figured it out. After all, he's the only person I know that could fuck up even the most basic cooking. I'm somewhat convinced that him being too retarded to follow any basic recipe/use any cooking appliance isn't a bad thing as he's too retarded to notice how bad his own food tastes.

Lucas trying to follow recipes sounds like a horrifying thing. He's exactly the kind of person who would do something disgusting to fuck up something as simple as making bread. I can see it now: plain white bread is too plain for him. He'd add spicy peanuts to the dough, or hot cheetos. Perhaps he'd think to himself I like the idea of cranberry flavored bread! and dump a can of cranberry sauce into the dough. Maybe even throwing in some leftover turkey scraps until the bread resembled some kind of horrifying bastardized version of nutraloaf that would make even prison wardens cringe. Plenty good bread i'm sure, he wouldn't even have to put a sandwich together, see how resourceful and how good of a cook he is ladies? He'd just slice off a piece and dip it in mustard

 

[Todd Weiss]

Wait I think this is the same website he was building his old games on. If it is, then this is for sure it.

Not much that I've seen besides:

Spoiler: this

View attachment 5532324

and

Spoiler: this fetish meme he made

View attachment 5532325

Other than that he's been surprisingly quiet since his birthday. I'll check back later today to see if he's been pouting or something lmao.

He'll reconcile his fedora tipping with Christmas presents on the line. Christian bigots, Walter, klick — hell, anyone that gifts him cashapps & 7-11 pizza — gets a front-row seat to the wern show.

 

[TractorGirl]

Wonder if he filled the air fryer with cooking oil and fucked it?