Id love to see someone give him a prank scratch off ticket with a million dollar jackpot.
I'd pay real money to watch that unfold in real time. It really wouldn't be difficult to sell the whole situation to lucas either if you did it right. Like for example the outcast owls could do it easy. All they'd have to do is pick up some gas station snack foods and drinks or whatever to make it look legit and like they just stopped in to get some stuff to eat and to pay for lucas's time for an interview like they did before. He'd never question that. Just toss the fake winning ticket in there and say they had some pocket change left that they wanted to get rid of and got a ticket for the fuck of it, but its not really their thing so lucas might as well take it. The look on his face when lucas scratched the ticket and realized he won big would be a sight to behold. I have a suspicion that lucas would try to be sneaky about it and slip it into his pocket, claiming he didn't win anything, because he doesn't want to have to share a big win with anybody else. He's absolutely greedy enough to pull that kind of thing. He'd spend the entire interview giddy as fuck imagining all the $70 steaks, weed, expensive booze, a proper apartment and all the greedy, money hungry zoomers that would soon be his now that he has the money to compete with the flatbills with the cars and credit cards, just as soon as he got his hands on his winnings. His eyes would be bugged right out of his head in greedy anticipation, with a big fuck you smirk on his face. and all without having to work for it. He'd chug down whatever food and drinks were provided for the interview and after it was over would waddle down to the gas station as quickly as his beetus feet could carry him, proudly and happily slap the winning ticket in front of the cashier, announcing he just won big.......and then all that fantasy that he was building up in his head ever since he scratched that ticket would be pulled out from under him in three seconds flat, when the cashier informs him the ticket isn't real and he didn't actually win anything. Lucas wouldn't just be embarrassed he would be utterly furious. Both at being made a greedy fool out of but being duped with prospect of winning a large amount of money, that he could gloat and lord over his fellow hobos and nursing home residents with, that would finally get his fat ass out of mallon place and into a good apartment, or even a house of his own that nobody could tell him what to do in or kick him out of, that he could attract zoomer baes with and all the food he could stuff himself with, only to have it snatched away from him by greedy capitalist trump supporters. I really have to wonder if he'd be able to hold his rage, greed and pure hatred for the guy who gave him the ticket on that one. I could see him having a meltdown in the gas station after being told it wasn't legit. He'd question such a claim, say it was real and that he won cause it says that on the ticket and would absolutely need to have the manager explain to him that the ticket isn't a real type of scratch ticket. He'd either leave absolutely fuming and ready to lose his shit or he'd meltdown in the store and end up having the cops called. I'd say it depends on how much he gloated about the win to everybody before he went to cash it and whether the manager basically treats him like he's retarded for not realizing he was being fucked with or put on the retard gloves and agree with lucas's ranting that he would no doubt be spouting as soon as the truth came out. Lucas catching a few days in jail for causing a big disturbance during his meltdown would be the icing on the cake. Though i'd say its just as likely the cops would show up in the middle of him ranting about greedy republican bigots giving him fake tickets to keep him from getting a girlfriend and he'd do some time back in the psych ward. Either way he'd probably at least make the local news again given how well known he is in spokane
He'd also earn yet another title out of the whole affair - the lotto king. It would be brought up every time he accused anybody else of being greedy after that and set him off big time. He's probably be paranoid as fuck about anything anybody gave him after that as well
I'm also curious how easy it would be to get lucas to drink a bottle of mouthwash native style, simply by putting it into an empty absinthe bottle, telling him its some expensive import thats popular with teens. He'd believe it, he thinks MD 20/20 is something to be proud of, along with chugging jaeger, sambuca and kahlua. or getting him piss drunk on insanely high proof moonshine by telling him it was just vodka, in true hobo fashion. Lucas getting absolutely plastered on white lightning or scope would be truly returning to his hobo roots. Getting picked up by the cops sleeping in the park, hung over on scope of all things while slurring about nobody wanting to fuck him would exactly the kind of thing i'd expect from lucas. Plus he'd never live down the nickname 'minty fresh' after an incident like that
EDIT:
Lucas is lying in the comments again:
You've had one girlfriend lucas, you keep claiming the existence of others and every time you talk about these imaginary other girlfriends your story changes to something else entirely. and yes you absolutely do hate women. You hate anyone who doesn't give you exactly what you want no questions asked
Funny how he doesn't include having him arrested for DV, stalking and violating a restraining order as 'having to put up with bs from a previous girlfriend.' He made an explicit point of not mentioning that because he doesn't want other women knowing about it. Yet another textbook predator behavior. Lucas has proven over and over that he doesn't want anyone to look up his past or know anything whatsoever about him or his past that he didn't specifically tell them for any reason. He only wants a girlfriend that knows what he tells her, never questions it and has no problem with him feeding her a narrative about himself that he has full control over. He does the same shit on videos with his rants about blocking people
