Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Starscream's Loyalty]

DO YEW UNNDUHRSTAAND, SEAN?

Nick is now like a big Lolcow Transformer figure, where you use several smaller Lolcow Transformers to assemble him.

Balldotron

 

[Pomniman]

I like it, the Spider-Man theme is nice because you just need to keep the tune rather than rhyming.

The “Whiskey Drinking Non-Practicing Lawyer” will be harder to twist shit around

Lyrics for the Original song:
Oh he drinks a fair bit
but you realize that
it just helps get his noggin a joggin along
with his glass by his side
and his kids asleep tight
we will hear some lawsplaining tonight

With his microphone muted
we'll laugh at this boomer
until he explains that it part of the plan
watch his face become redder as
he becomes madder
raging at idiots
from twit and er land

From the white shores of Nairn
to the Hills of Glenlivet
There's noone who splains the law
better than nick
So pour out a glass
for the ones who have passed
to make the law what we have now

Oh his lady is fair
and she handles herself
with the grace of one who'se
born many children
as the wife of a law man
she makes sure that he has
the time and place to
provide for them there

So pour out an Ardbeg
a bowmore or laphroig
The spirits flow as the ones sued
get unemployed
So pour out a glass
for the deposed on Twitter
As we hear lawspaining Tonight
From the white shores of Nairn
to the Hills of Glenlivet
There's noone who splains the law
better than nick
So pour out a glass
for the ones who have passed
to make the law what we have now

Oh the guests are all plentiful
from Doug T to Drexel
They bring their perspective
and spice to the mix
But the reason we're here
and the one that we cheer
is the one who is showcasing
us his career

I actually did this one last year too (recorded and performed in sub-potato quality).

The Balldo-Wearing Cuckold
Oh he finks a great deal
While he wears a pope hat
Cuz it just helps when he's preppin' the bull
With his bottle inside
And his balldo strapped tight
We'll hear some kvetching tonight

At his hedo two there
We'll laugh at this coomer
While he copes that he's just having fun
Watch his nose become redder as
He seethes harder
Raging at aylawgz
From kiwi farmland

From the blacked shores of Jamaica
To the Jenkem of Zambia
There's no one online
More cucked than Nick
So plug up your ass
For the pets who have passed
In the superchats he has to read

Oh his lady's a slattern
But don't notice that pattern
Or you'll start askin'
Whose 12 kids are these
By the wife of Ris-otto
Playing scratch-off lotto
With the bottle and bull to
Cuck him again

So join all us Aylawgz
Asstroones and bog hogs
As the spirits drift o'er
Little St. James
So pour out a glass
For the bottle up his ass
As he straps on the balldo tonight

From the blacked shores of Jamaica
To the Jenkem of Zambia
There's no one online
More cucked than Nick
So plug up your ass
For the pets who have passed
In the superchats he has to read

Oh the sponsors are many
From Birch Gold to Balldo
They bring their shekels
And pence to the mix
But the reason we're here
And the one that we jeer
Is the one who
is plug-ging his rear

Plug-ging his rear

Plug-ging his rear

 

[ChromaQuack]

Yeah, as much as I wish Sean lit into Rekieta, he probably did the best thing here. Let Nick burn himself down.

It might be one thing if Nick were semi-rational, and able to engage in an actual argument, but he's not. There's no way to win against that. I think if Sean were more aggressive, he might have run the risk of sinking to Nick's level.

I have seen that happen way too many times in Internet bloodsports. Both sides end up coming across as cringe. It's why I've never felt the need to engage in it myself.

People can claim Sean is a pussy, but sometimes discretion really is the better part of valor.

Nick didn't win anything last night. He sounds like a raving madman. Sean should no more engage with Rekieta than he should with a random crackhead on the street.

I disagree with the notion that he should have just sat there just as I disagree with the notion that Sean should have torn into Nick.

He should have egged him on, he's black out drunk, he's a low self-esteem nerd and a validation whore both, he's high off of his own righteousness and in his mind he's back at the good ol' days where he was ranting about Soye's remote. Nicky just needs a little prodding, some positive reinforcement, a little push and you could potentially make him do whatever the hell you wanted.

Trolling is a art for a reason, not everything in life is screaming louder than the other chimp.

 

[Grotesque Bushes]

View attachment 5532522View attachment 5532523
Your anger only makes my penis (and my laughter) harder.

I refuse to believe they're actual stills, and not John Andrews Stan's shoops. I'll sleep better that way.

It's pretty funny seeing all of these Facebook boomer women finding their way to Elissa's channel and being introduced to all of this.

View attachment 5533242

A grown woman coming into our shitheap and sympathising with PPP and Warski of all people should be a slap in the face for Rekieta. That however might lead to self-reflection and responsibility, so it's straight out the window.

 

[not william stenchever]

I disagree with the notion that he should have just sat there just as I disagree with the notion that Sean should have torn into Nick.

He should have egged him on, he's black out drunk, he's a low self-esteem nerd and a validation whore both, he's high off of his own righteousness and in his mind he's back at the good ol' days where he was ranting about Soye's remote. Nicky just needs a little prodding, some positive reinforcement, a little push and you could potentially make him do whatever the hell you wanted.

Trolling is a art for a reason, not everything in life is screaming louder than the other chimp.

Nick was making it sort of hard to do that with the constant low IQ interventions interrupting. If Nick won't let you set him up then the next best thing is to sit and let the Balldoman embarass himself.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

I disagree with the notion that he should have just sat there just as I disagree with the notion that Sean should have torn into Nick.

He should have egged him on, he's black out drunk, he's a low self-esteem nerd and a validation whore both, he's high off of his own righteousness and in his mind he's back at the good ol' days where he was ranting about Soye's remote. Nicky just needs a little prodding, some positive reinforcement, a little push and you could potentially make him do whatever the hell you wanted.

Trolling is a art for a reason, not everything in life is screaming louder than the other chimp.

I think it still depends on how you want to be seen. Even if you stay calm but poke and prod with glee, some people can still lay blame on sean regardless of how unhinged nick is being. This wouldn't have mattered to US who just want to see the clown show blossom but sean still has other normie 'lawtubers' to interact with. The way sean behaved, he can still be the innocent guy who didnt do nuthin and therefore 'safe' to interact with.

 

[ChromaQuack]

Look I'm just saying, you don't need to go full Machiavelli with the prodding, sometimes all a drunk fuck needs is a well timed "das rite you tell 'em boy" to go off the deep end.

 

[TheClappening]

Nobody has anything to fear from the farms unless they are afraid of the truth.

I generally don't hold it against someone if their only major flaw is being wider than they are tall.

If they have an awful personality, plus they're fat, then I'll also make fun of their obesity because why not.

I find Nick's hypocrisy far more intolerable than Potentially Criminal's chonk.

 

[RotPockets]

I actually did this one last year too (recorded and performed in sub-potato quality).

You can insert the audio file in the post just like an image.

 

[Hraf]

Taking the most charitable position possible, I still have no idea what Nick wanted to communicate to Josh. He claims that he just wanted a friend to know that some of what was being posted about him is false. Indeed, some of the wildest speculation here probably isn't true. Mission accomplished.

But then there is a strange hang up on what to do about it.

"...the Kiwi Farms thing where people are coming after-- they go "Oh, oh yeah, well we threadban people who go after the cow-- who try to touch the cow," and I'm like, "Look, I just don't think that that's happening necessarily on my thread", and Josh is like "Who is it, who is it? Like what do I-- who is it? What's going on?" I'm like, "I'm not going to name names, I don't want people banned. I actually don't want people silenced. I just wanted to bring it to your attention, that maybe the site has some issues with that enforcement, and you can decide as the site administrator what to do." - Nick, Rumble Sues Fake Watchdogs, Dangerous Syringes Seized, BOGUS Attorney Suspension

Nick does not understand that Josh did not offer to censor the thread, but was instead asking about which information was false and who crossed that line. Nick did not share this information because he says he doesn't want it removed nor the poster banned. Someone has crossed the line somewhere, and it's up to Josh and the moderators to find that and decide what to do with them, maybe. Is it the insults? Is it the chat logging? Is it the video clipping? None of these things seem to me to be line crossing, but what do I know? And as nothing has been done about any of this stuff, Nick still has a problem with the site.

From a slightly less charitable position, I think it's reasonable to interpret this as asking for something to be done. Maybe that's really not what he intended, but it sounds like it is when you refuse to elaborate on what exactly the problems are and speak about it in this way whenever it's brought up. And then Nick calls and keeps calling Josh a Down Syndrome autismo who doesn't understand human interaction because he doesn't see it from his point of view. This is a really great way to get people on board with you, from Nick the social cue expert.

 

[TherapyMan]

Someone has crossed the line somewhere, and it's up to Josh and the moderators to find that and decide what to do with them, maybe.

Nick does not understand that Josh did not offer to censor the thread, but was instead asking about which information was false and who crossed that line.

Nick did not share this information because he says he doesn't want it removed nor the poster banned.

Nick understands what he's doing. He says that posters are breaking the rules, which he knows Null enforces and bans people for breaking. Nick wants that enforcement to come down on people in this thread, but he knows he can't ask Null to do it directly because it'll blow up in his face. Instead, he invites Null to go into the thread and do it himself.

Nick can't help but contradict himself. On one hand, he berates Null for allegedly not enforcing the rules in his thread, but on the other says he doesn't want anyone banned or censored.

 

[Artificial Stupidity]

Watching Nick's 26 minute meltdown again. Is anybody else angered by the fact that at the very beginning Nick is again claiming that Null offered to delete or suppress things in this thread?

That seems calculated to destroy faith in site moderation. It's very scummy.

I overlooked that myself and you're correct I've heard jersh explain his side and while nick gave his version of events I just find it difficult to believe. Both versions do share similarities but it's hard to know without the full context nor do we need to know.

I think nick wanted something censored or removed, he can't explicitly say what because it will either confirm something he can just pass off as a karenfarms fabrication which inturn will just nuke his freeze peach stance but nick should just say what's bothered him because we all know he's just a little bitch who is MATI because randos can call him a faggot.

His attacks at josh are "josh is a retard" and "josh doesn't understand social queues" and the newest is "josh is a sysadmin so he thinks something needs fixing" and he peppers every single insult with the same "I love josh" seriously nick can't decide if he hates josh or loves him, grow a spine nick and stop being manic.

I genuinely think nick blames josh for a load of his old fans turning on him and laughing at his drunken downfall.

 

[Hraf]

Nick understands what he's doing. He says that posters are breaking the rules, which he knows Null enforces and bans people for breaking. Nick wants that enforcement to come down on people in this thread, but he knows he can't ask Null to do it directly because it'll blow up in his face. Instead, he invites Null to go into the thread and do it himself.

Nick can't help but contradict himself. On one hand, he berates Null for allegedly not enforcing the rules in his thread, but on the other says he doesn't want anyone banned or censored.

I am inclined to believe that too. As you say, even under a very charitable point of view, if he's saying things aren't true and people are going too far, and also that a site administrator should decide what to do about that, then he probably wants some action taken without needing to say it.

 

[Neetorino]

Instead, he invites Null to go into the thread and do it himself.

It's the classic manipulator's trick of making it your target's idea. Nick wants censorship, says people are bad, and expects Josh to go "Oh let me look for any badness in your thread!" and ban a few people. Instead, like a good businessman and site admin does, Josh asks for the specific posts that break the rules. Kind of like how he asked Greer to specify which posts were infringing his copyright. It's not the janny's job to hunt for the mess to clean up, they just go where they're told and solve the issue, hence if Nick doesn't report the posts nothing will change.
My guess is that the fact that Nick wasn't able to manipulate Josh immediately like he would anyone else was so damaging to his ego that that's what caused him to make his "Halal posts" across various streams and Xeets. I'm very curious whom else Nick manipulates like this on the reg, maybe Our Wife, maybe the kids, or maybe even Drexel and Nick's e-friends. I'm not saying he does manipulate these people, but I'd be surprised if he wasn't with how much he loves this tactic.

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

>no MATI this week

>Null got the ISOM comics and Eric July replied to his twitter post


We might see another meltdown.

 

[mindlessobserver]

>no MATI this week

>Null got the ISOM comics and Eric July replied to his twitter post


We might see another meltdown.

Some of us are well adjusted people without twitter accounts. Post the link!

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

Some of us are well adjusted people without twitter accounts. Post the link!

https://nitter.net/XJosh/status/1730266464936976511#m

 

[Balldo's Gate]

I think that's really the case. He's so utterly brain-pickled at this point he can't remember what he did minutes ago. He can't remember he said the same shit yesterday.

I was skipping through the VOD from Wednesday's show and I stumbled upon this clip that illustrates this. I'm going to have to listen to the whole thing. I said that about Monday's stream, too, but this one seems worse so I'll have to get to this first.

The clip begins with Nick saying that he "would eat hot dogs" after masturbating "all the time." Context? Who knows or cares?

Nick discusses putting a hot dog in a bun only to pivot hard to talking about being in college, saying "You put it in a white bun then you just eat it! When I, so, when I was in college, I have [inaudible] I can't even, I hate this, cause I love, like 90s music, I've been listening to a lot of music lately."

Nick then describes how he drives his kids to activities. "I've been ruining my poor kids. Especially my oldest, because I have to drive him to an activity every morning, and I'll put on 90s music just to fuck with him. Right? I'm like, 'Heh, heh.'"

He then discusses music for about a minute or two, then adds, "I make my kid listen to 90s, like, metalcore and rapcore and stuff, like Limp Bizkit and Static X and stuff.... It's a, it's a rude thing.... I don't even know how I... How did I get on this subject? Trying to think about it. Doesn't matter. I don't think."

BTW I feel bad for the oldest kid. Imagine being a teenager and your dad drops you off at an event in his Mustang that he loves to rev obnoxiously with a cringe vanity plate while blasting Limp Bizkit. Insanely embarrassing.

 

[AltisticRight]

>I am. Not. The. Expert. On. Black. Penises.
Okay, Balldo.
Alright.

 

[holyhandgrenade]

BTW I feel bad for the oldest kid. Imagine being a teenager and your dad drops you off at an event in his Mustang that he loves to rev obnoxiously with a cringe vanity plate while blasting Limp Bizkit. Insanely embarrassing.

If he's also wearing that godawful wifebeater he got in Jamaica and fucking raybans that's grounds for never speaking to him again.