If you had to fuck a Pokémon, which one and why?

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Just A Fat Round Bird
Well fantastic, now Im reminded of the stupid copypasta PES game tip that sometimes shows up in 4chan cup. Quote:
"Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They...
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Hardline Traditionalist said:
I know what you're thinking, but no, I'd never fuck a sylveon.
No way in hell, believe me.
Seriously, I swear.
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Hey, fella's, I'm sure you're aware of the debate between Vaporeon and Umbreon and which is better for being compatible between humans but I've got news for you, There's a pokemon that's even better. as funny as this may sound it's ANOTHER Eeveelution, it's Sylveon to be exact. Sylveon weighs 51.8 Pounds or roughly 23.5 kilograms and is 3'03 tall, so they are most defiantly the right size for a person. Even better is that those ribbon-like feelers it has are actually part of its skin! this means they would feel fantastic for cuddling, foreplay, and even handjobs! (RibbonJobs?) even better is that they also emit a soothing aura. it can even wrap them around your arms and read your feelings so it knows when you're horny! it also has access to moves like attract, charm, and of course baby doll eyes! as well as draining kiss. I'm sure you know what that would be great for. and most importantly. you can ONLY get a Sylveon by having an Eevee that's already got a high affection for you. this means it would already be quite into you. so it would make the PERFECT mate! I believe I've made my case for why it's the best pokemon for humans.
 
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It's already been said several times because it is the obvious answer, but Ditto. Just imagine the Pokemon world as if it were realistic... everybody would just fuck Dittos all the time depending on how their transformation worked, but let us assume it's similar to the in-game mechanics of needing the subject of transform being visible by the Ditto. Eventually people would fuck Dittos so much it would probably start to become hard to just walk down the street and tell your Ditto to transform into whatever random girl you saw because simply being a 5/10+ female would become a commodity in itself. It would become an entire society shifting phenomenon where women would live in Middle East style seclusion not because of virtue, but because of the missed potential income you could earn by letting men's Ditto's copy you so they could then fuck a duplicate of you. It would become an in-person OnlyFans society where you could charge more depending on how desirable you are as a woman. This is all just under the most basic interpretation of Transform from the games though... things become much more intense depending on how long Ditto can hold the form, if it can remember previous forms or if it can transform from a photo. If any of these less restricted versions where the case it wouldn't be long before no one set out to become a Pokemon trainer at all, unless it was to catch a Ditto or perhaps another Pokemon with a humanoid form enough for you to also fuck your Ditto when it transforms into it because of how desensitized you would become with such ready access to fulfilling your desire for sexual release. Things would get out of control, soon you'd be having your Ditto turn into Pokemon who aren't even vaguely humanoid, or the same sex, or your strangely always thick-ass Pokemom, the depravity would continue on and on. If a Ditto can produce offspring from nearly every Pokemon, including those with in-organic features, it's not a stretch to believe it could with a human. With Dittos now effectively replacing females soon a much harder patriarchal society would form that afforded women less and less rights. Eventually the unlucky women who were not mere household servants would be put into horrific eugenics programs where they are breed for the most appealing sexual features so that Dittos may transform into them. These modified women, like dogs, would develop horrific health issues that would not be cared by the new Poke-patriarchy because all they need them for is the Ditto's transformation which can ignore the defects when it turns back into it's base form. Eventually, society will break down through it's moral degradation and slowly collapse leaving the world to the Pokemon who will probably be harshly ruled by the remaining Dittos who inherited man's harsh rule and will outnumber the rest.

That, or I guess Girafarig since I'm also a giraffe or whatever.
 
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SIGSEGV said:
There's a pokemon that's even better
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Indeed.
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