Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Tiresome]

I can't fathom a meat-only diet.

His diverticula-ridden colon is going to LOVE the total lack of dietary fiber.

Also, regarding the cookie video, I'd kill for someone to show up and comment "SUGAR."

 

[She Brings The Rain]

That gulp at 4:58 is INCREDIBLE

Holy shit, you weren't kidding. It sounded like a cartoon effect added in.

Jack took a lot longer chewing that than usual, I'm assuming he has to chew his food until it's near liquid consistency before swallowing.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Best Christmas Cookie Ever - AI COOKING
(12/01/2023)

Original:

Spoiler: Archive (720p):

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What the hell is that noise for the first minute? Is Jack's pro-grade camera about to shit the bed? I wonder if he'll guilt TamHam into paying for another $5k camera or just use his iPhone, which nobody will dispute has given him better picture quality.

And who considers slightly altered chocolate chip cookies as especially for Christmas? I think of stuff like gingerbread, butter cookies, pfeffernusse, and my personal favorite pepparkakor.

 

[Kung Pow]

I did a two day meat and water only diet and it wasn't that bad, it almost felt like a light fast. But knowing Jack, he will eat half a cow with sugary sauces.

 

[Rabid Weasels]

"Make sure there's enough space for them to spread out" says jack as he scoops the dough right next to the edge of the pan. Next shot: cookies are not round and have a flat edge from not having enough space to spread out.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Fun comments from Fat On The Go

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Mushbrain on full alert.

Forgot he ordered an egg and thinks "red meat" is good for you.

I am absolutely in the camp that believes Charles told Jack about the carnivore diet. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jack picks it up because the prospect of shoveling down meat all day sounds good to him.

Well of course. Charles has promoted it before and he's full on the carnivore diet himself.

To play devil's advocate without reading the comments described, it is possible that Charles hit and killed the deer and the delivered the carcass to a butcher for processing. It's not an uncommon thing where I live.

It's ethically sourced in that case and if the animal isn't diseased then it's a big win for you. So long as it didn't destroy your car in the process. This is also why you need to be careful if you're ever in moose country. That is a big animal that isn't afraid of you, is bigger than your car and if you hit it it's going to turn your car to scrap. And that's assuming you survive.

 

[Sexy Peach Emoji]

It's ethically sourced in that case and if the animal isn't diseased then it's a big win for you. So long as it didn't destroy your car in the process. This is also why you need to be careful if you're ever in moose country. That is a big animal that isn't afraid of you, is bigger than your car and if you hit it it's going to turn your car to scrap. And that's assuming you survive.

I meant hit with the gun. Last I checked here in AK, you're not allowed to keep your roadkill. If anything is salvageable, it gets given to families on a subsistance list. It's to help prevent poaching. Same if you have to kill a bear in self defense, you don't get to keep anything. You're supposed to call it in. Not that anything other than fear of johnny law makes you call it in, I suppose. I will say that I have had plenty of fine deer roadkill in my time when I was a wee lad in VA, though.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I meant hit with the gun. Last I checked here in AK, you're not allowed to keep your roadkill. If anything is salvageable, it gets given to families on a subsistance list. It's to help prevent poaching. Same if you have to kill a bear in self defense, you don't get to keep anything. You're supposed to call it in. Not that anything other than fear of johnny law makes you call it in, I suppose. I will say that I have had plenty of fine deer roadkill in my time when I was a wee lad in VA, though.

Wasn't aware it was a thing in Alaska. All that means is it probably used to happen quite often which is why they started cracking down on it.

Or at least that's been my experience with these things.

 

[p1138]

Holy shit stop making desserts You're gonna fuckin die!

This would be why Fatty doesn't want to do his carnivore diet in December. He wants to spend all month eating "christmas" desserts.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

That gulp at 4:58 is INCREDIBLE

Jack put more effort behind that swallow than he's ever put into anything in his entire life. It's weird, it's like his swallowing problems are getting worse instead of better. He must not be praying hard enough.

 

[Crunchy Smegma]

Best Christmas Cookie Ever - AI COOKING
(12/01/2023)

Original:

Spoiler: Archive (720p):

View attachment 5535494

This is my first time hearing Jack speak post-stroke so I'm sure it's been discussed before, but he really sounds like a child in a sitcom pretending to have a cold/stuffy nose

 

[p1138]

This is my first time hearing Jack speak post-stroke so I'm sure it's been discussed before, but he really sounds like a child in a sitcom pretending to have a cold/stuffy nose

Post which-stroke? He's had at least 4 now. I'm assuming you mean the most recent one, and yeah he can't breathe for shit, he can't swallow food properly, likely has some crazy acid reflux issues, needs to spend a full 10 seconds attempting to liquify the bite of cookie he ate so he doesn't choke on it. Some episodes, especially fat on the go he just gurgles his way through now.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

yeah he can't breathe for shit, he can't swallow food properly,

I wonder if he's already at the size where a normal bystander would struggle to help him clear his airway if he started choking. Once you get fat enough, trying to do what you're normally taught doesn't work and you gotta squeeze high up (I forget the name but I hereby dub it the heinz maneuver as extra ketchup mighta lubricated the problem away) instead to try and dislodge. Most people barely know the normal way, much less the fat fuck way.

I doubt it'll kill him, his brain doesn't actually use any of the oxygen it collects anymore, but a choking scare on a JOTG has got to be around the corner any day now.

 

[p1138]

I wonder if he's already at the size where a normal bystander would struggle to help him clear his airway if he started choking. Once you get fat enough, trying to do what you're normally taught doesn't work and you gotta squeeze high up (I forget the name but I hereby dub it the heinz maneuver as extra ketchup mighta lubricated the problem away) instead to try and dislodge. Most people barely know the normal way, much less the fat fuck way.

I doubt it'll kill him, his brain doesn't actually use any of the oxygen it collects anymore, but a choking scare on a JOTG has got to be around the corner any day now.

He's long past that point. That's supposed to be when a normal human can no longer get their arms around a person to get your hands together under their ribcage. Fatty is close to being as big around as he is tall by now, there isn't a chance Tammy or Brianna could do it.

But it gets worse. Remember, Fatty cannot walk. So unless he's already propped up leaning on something when it happens(assuming he doesn't immediately keel over), he will not be able to stand up to make it easier for someone to assist him. This means now having to reach around the damn scooty puff or whatever chair his fatass is in, or even worse get him out of the chair and having to wrestle him on the floor to render any kind of aid.

 

[indomitable snowman]

Ok disgusting TMI I know, but I tried eating my lunch like him by sticking out my tongue like some prehensile horror. I almost choked myself as bringing the tongue in brought the unchewed food to back of the throat. It also was too much food at one time.

I have no idea how someone could regularly eat by doing this.

 

[TheMovieGuy]

Hate to be a doomer but I think the carnivore diet is going to be a disaster. He's been teetering on the edge of total body failure for years at this point, I cant imagine his luck carrying the 300 pounds of dead weight he calls a body much further once he's given himself over to undiluted wendigo feasting for every meal.

 

[VenomPlug]

Ok disgusting TMI I know, but I tried eating my lunch like him by sticking out my tongue like some prehensile horror. I almost choked myself as bringing the tongue in brought the unchewed food to back of the throat. It also was too much food at one time.

I have no idea how someone could regularly eat by doing this.

Jack is deepthroating it. He's eating like he was giving a blowjob.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I wonder if he's already at the size where a normal bystander would struggle to help him clear his airway if he started choking. Once you get fat enough, trying to do what you're normally taught doesn't work and you gotta squeeze high up (I forget the name but I hereby dub it the heinz maneuver as extra ketchup mighta lubricated the problem away) instead to try and dislodge. Most people barely know the normal way, much less the fat fuck way.

I doubt it'll kill him, his brain doesn't actually use any of the oxygen it collects anymore, but a choking scare on a JOTG has got to be around the corner any day now.

You'd need arms like an orangutan to be able to reach around to give him the Heimlich maneuver. Not to mention the power of one to physically move all that bulk.

Same story if you had to give him chest compressions to do CPR. He's already half dead already with his right side of his body completely fucked due to his inability to eat properly.

There comes a point when you need to cut your losses and just move on.

I have no idea how someone could regularly eat by doing this.

I would have to imagine it's practice but the way he practically tongue fucks his food reminds me of how some women stick out their tongues when sucking a guy off especially if they want to take him down their throat. The more we go on, the more obvious that Jagoff is a repressed homosexual who transferred his love of cock to food.

Jack is deepthroating it. He's eating like he was giving a blowjob.

Exactly. See? I'm not alone in that idea.

 

[AnOminous]

Jack put more effort behind that swallow than he's ever put into anything in his entire life. It's weird, it's like his swallowing problems are getting worse instead of better. He must not be praying hard enough.

It would be funny if he actually finally literally does die trying to deep throat a hamburger eating it sideways.

 

[Rubber Plant]

You'd need arms like an orangutan to be able to reach around to give him the Heimlich maneuver. Not to mention the power of one to physically move all that bulk.

You can just to back blows, and I would gladly volunteer to do it. would be very cathartic.