Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[MS Paint Gigachad]

There's a lolcow called sv3rige who eats a carnivore diet. Not only can he not shit properly, he also tries to date his fans and it never works out. I probably should catch up on him again as the shenanigans were pretty funny. I will say that sv3rige is actually fit unlike our bug eyed porker friend here.

I will say this, sv3rige and jack are two different types of horror. If you would allow me to reference Warhammer 40k, if sv3rige is Nurgle (chaos god of disease) with his rotten raw meat eating, Jack is more aligned with Slaanesh (chaos god of excess and decadence) (but with nurgle characteristics in that he also eats partially raw meat)

or that Jack is the Deadly Sin of Gluttony vs sv3rige being the pale horseman of the apocalypse

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

I will say this, sv3rige and jack are two different types of horror. If you would allow me to reference Warhammer 40k, if sv3rige is Nurgle (chaos god of disease) with his rotten raw meat eating, Jack is more aligned with Slaanesh (chaos god of excess and decadence) (but with nurgle characteristics in that he also eats partially raw meat)

or that Jack is the Deadly Sin of Gluttony vs sv3rige being the pale horseman of the apocalypse

Sv3rge is cringe but it’s funny when he trolls the right adult baby that isn’t prepared for him.

The real monster of the raw meat carnivore thing is TheFirstOfMyKind. If this guy says he never takes a shit, or doesn’t have any GI issues, I kinda believe him. The guy is terrifying. Some of the exercises he does are off the charts. He makes Sv3rge seem like a limp euro-weenie faggot.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Sv3rge is cringe but it’s funny when he trolls the right adult baby that isn’t prepared for him.

The real monster of the raw meat carnivore thing is TheFirstOfMyKind. If this guy says he never takes a shit, or doesn’t have any GI issues, I kinda believe him. The guy is terrifying. Some of the exercises he does are off the charts. He makes Sv3rge seem like a limp euro-weenie faggot.

That massive gyno, tho

 

[ZipDisk]

I don't get how one could love BANG sufficiently to lose a limb to it.

I've also never seen someone order "prarie oysters" despite seeing it fairly often on menus in mountain regions. I always figured it was tourist bait.

Fortnite Bear did the math, we're past fifth impact. We're through the looking glass, people.

As to Tammy Flanders Scalfani, she is the one inflicting him on the public at this point, and she deeply enjoys doing so. She deserves a Phil Leotardo special (In Minecraft)

 

[curbside2]

I don't get how one could love BANG sufficiently to lose a limb to it.

Motherfucker was drinking 12 bang energies a day at one point. Each can has 300mg of caffeine. I imagine when his stroke doc heard that he nearly had a stroke himself.

 

[ZipDisk]

I drank two whoop ass energy cans in high school before a running test and felt like I was going to die.

 

[ComStar]

I wonder if the algorithm, based on Jack or Tammy's medical-related internet searches, has ever recommended that they buy a LifeVac or DeChoker. They're rescue devices based on suction, and can even be self-administered (but not in Jack's case, since you need two working arms/hands). They have a multitude of verified successful uses.

The LifeVac is literally a toilet plunger* attached to a mask. How oddly fitting.


*specifically a Plumb Craft mini plunger, if the Farmandfleet site decides to shit itself. They're decent enough, for plumbing purposes anyway.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

I've also never seen someone order "prarie oysters" despite seeing it fairly often on menus in mountain regions. I always figured it was tourist bait.

Completely Tourist Bait. They're not bad tasting or anything, but they're nothing special. I don't even give 'em a second thought outside of major food events.

Can't imagine eating them raw though. While I understand the raw carnivore diet in theory, it also doesn't take a genius to compare our guts to carnivore guts and conclude "yea we probably need to cook these for it to work out". As long as you're not deep frying shit or drowning it in oil, you're just making it more digestible, the loss of micronutrient value is negligible, and if yer worried about it, easily made up for with cooked organ meats.

That guy isn't just on the carnivore diet, he eats just outright years old rotten raw meat, brains, etc.. If anything he's on more of a zombie diet.

I regret looking up this thread, my only saving grace being the OP videos are all dead. The idea of eating raw organ meats upsets me at some primal level I can't describe - Its like its hard coded into my soul that those definitely need to be cooked.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Motherfucker was drinking 12 bang energies a day at one point. Each can has 300mg of caffeine. I imagine when his stroke doc heard that he nearly had a stroke himself.

Holy shit, I'm on my feet for 11 hours a day and I think the two Monsters I have are sometimes a bit much. I can't imagine needing one, much less a whole case, if the most exerting task all day was walking between my recliner and the bathroom.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Sv3rge is cringe but it’s funny when he trolls the right adult baby that isn’t prepared for him.

The real monster of the raw meat carnivore thing is TheFirstOfMyKind. If this guy says he never takes a shit, or doesn’t have any GI issues, I kinda believe him. The guy is terrifying. Some of the exercises he does are off the charts. He makes Sv3rge seem like a limp euro-weenie faggot.

That guy is legit mentally retarded based on that video.

 

[Aunt Carol]

*specifically a Plumb Craft mini plunger, if the Farmandfleet site decides to shit itself. They're decent enough, for plumbing purposes anyway.

That's a sink plunger, judging by its undercarriage. (I own one and it's fine.)

Everything else stands, though.


The prophecies of doom about Jack's carnivore arc are fun, but they're all assuming he'll change anything about his diet. He's just going to talk about meat and continue eating simple carbohydrates, on and off camera.

If Jack eats like anything in the animal kingdom, it's one of those fat bears that make the Forest Service put out bear-proof trash cans and signs about please not leaving food scraps around.

 

[fag0rz]

So I was looking at a couple of old pictures of Jagoff and I noticed his face is lopsided. I figured this was due to stroke damage but now I think it was always that way. Is this some kind of threat posture thing? When he goes into Arby's and attacks the manager, does his face flare out like on a frill-necked lizard?

 

[Mundane Ralph]

He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.

It's hilarious to me that he mentioned TheWolfePit being on the carnivore diet. He's a lot like Jack. Fat dude with all sorts of health problems that claims to be on the carnivore diet but constantly puts out videos of carb loaded dishes. Here's his latest video:

 

[ComStar]

That's a sink plunger, judging by its undercarriage. (I own one and it's fine.)

Everything else stands, though.

Huh, never thought about that. When i bought it it just said "plunger" in the local language, and that's how much attention i paid when i got it

Who knows how the LifeVac (or any of these rescue devices) would work on Jack though. I bet the results (and sounds!) are just a tad worse than unclogging drains

 

[Aunt Carol]

Huh, never thought about that. When i bought it it just said "plunger" in the local language, and that's how much attention i paid when i got it

(It's 2023 so there are probably a lot more types of plunger now, and your sink plunger can identify any way it wants.)

Without buying any add-ons, a toilet plunger would probably be better to un-choke Jack. The flange can fit right in his mouth, same as with a toilet.

 

[desudesu]

It's hilarious to me that he mentioned TheWolfePit being on the carnivore diet. He's a lot like Jack. Fat dude with all sorts of health problems that claims to be on the carnivore diet but constantly puts out videos of carb loaded dishes. Here's his latest video:

Maybe when Jack finally croaks (spoiler: he holds out like a fucking cockroach), we can all move to a dedicated WolfePit thread. He seems pretty unhinged by the looks of his videos and his social media postings.

 

[ComStar]

View attachment 5542138
(It's 2023 so there are probably a lot more types of plunger now, and your sink plunger can identify any way it wants.)

Without buying any add-ons, a toilet plunger would probably be better to un-choke Jack. The flange can fit right in his mouth, same as with a toilet.

Well, now you've made me check.

The big DIY chain where i bought the damn thing only has sink plungers in various sizes. The flanged toilet plunger must be an american thing.

My heart goes out to the poor paramedics having to uncork Jack's meat- and lard-stuffed esophagus

 

[biggacracka]

Maybe when Jack finally croaks (spoiler: he holds out like a fucking cockroach), we can all move to a dedicated WolfePit thread. He seems pretty unhinged by the looks of his videos and his social media postings.

What's the QRD on WolfePit?
I know he claims to be disabled and does cheap recipes but not much more

 

[Aunt Carol]

The flanged toilet plunger must be an american thing.

Huh! I love to learn about other cultures on the kiwifarms dot net.

 

[a terminal posture]

Maybe when Jack finally croaks (spoiler: he holds out like a fucking cockroach), we can all move to a dedicated WolfePit thread. He seems pretty unhinged by the looks of his videos and his social media postings.

I don't know or care about Wolfepit's personal life, but I enjoy his videos. Unlike Jack, he is a competent cook, knowledgeable about food and puts some effort into his videos.