The Horrors of the "Professional" World - Stories that will make you wonder how we exist.

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Blake Bumbleby said:
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Ok!

This woman is so out of touch with reality. One time the bookmobile lady brought in a tiny kitten she found in the hospital parking lot. Ok so the lady is obsessed with cats. The minute she saw the kitten, instead is saying "oh let me run to the store and get her some kitten food!" She says "she needs some toys!"
...toys.

She also calls PC computers "IBMs".

She's extremely long winded. She just wants attention and won't shut up. There are days where I refuse to ask her a question because I know it's gonna be a ten minute reply. She got butthurt because I asked someone with more common sense a question and had to make a federal case about it.

She's also filthy. Her nails are so fucking gross. She reminds me of those old dumbassss on hoarders. And she coughs all day long. And she waddles when she walks. I wonder if it's because she didn't listen to her physical therapist when she got her knee replaced.
 
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(Not "professional" per se, but still makes my head spin in just...sheer awe of this person's stupidity.)

Once worked at a family-friendly restaurant/arcade, where I usually stood at the front door to make sure people didn't steal kids/kids didn't sneak out. I don't think I was stationed at the door this day, I think I was bussing since I was able to walk around, but still needed to note that someone is ALWAYS AT THE FRONT DOOR.

Anyway, one time a mom was going off, panicking and sobbing and threatening to call the police because her toddler had gone missing.

Checked the restrooms, checked the play tubes, the back offices, made sure the emergency exit door had a working alarm (in case toddler opened it and went outside), none of us could figure out how the fuck this child had disappeared, especially since the building wasn't particularly large.

Child was eventually found wandering around outside the building in her coat. We were located in a fairly big plaza, so besides the sidewalk directly in front the buildings, "outside" was all parking lot leading to up to the street. It was also fairly chilly outside, hence why the kid had a winter coat on. Mom went suspiciously quiet when her daughter was found; thought she might berate us at least for losing her kid or something.

The Manager on duty checked the security footage to see what had happened.

The child had never entered the building.

Let me repeat that.

The family, with the mother, had been caught on tape entering the building, but their toddler wasn't with them.

They left their 3-5 year old little girl outside, in cold weather, and didn't notice she wasn't with them until an hour later.

What.
The.
Fuck.
 
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Lurkette said:
(Not "professional" per se, but still makes my head spin in just...sheer awe of this person's stupidity.)

Once worked at a family-friendly restaurant/arcade, where I usually stood at the front door to make sure people didn't steal kids/kids didn't sneak out. I don't think I was stationed at the door this day, I think I was bussing since I was able to walk around, but still needed to note that someone is ALWAYS AT THE FRONT DOOR.

Anyway, one time a mom was going off, panicking and sobbing and threatening to call the police because her toddler had gone missing.

Checked the restrooms, checked the play tubes, the back offices, made sure the emergency exit door had a working alarm (in case toddler opened it and went outside), none of us could figure out how the fuck this child had disappeared, especially since the building wasn't particularly large.

Child was eventually found wandering around outside the building in her coat. We were located in a fairly big plaza, so besides the sidewalk directly in front the buildings, "outside" was all parking lot leading to up to the street. It was also fairly chilly outside, hence why the kid had a winter coat on. Mom went suspiciously quiet when her daughter was found; thought she might berate us at least for losing her kid or something.

The Manager on duty checked the security footage to see what had happened.

The child had never entered the building.

Let me repeat that.

The family, with the mother, had been caught on tape entering the building, but their toddler wasn't with them.

They left their 3-5 year old little girl outside, in cold weather, and didn't notice she wasn't with them until an hour later.

What.
The.
Fuck.
Click to expand...

I don't even.
 
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Lurkette said:
(Not "professional" per se, but still makes my head spin in just...sheer awe of this person's stupidity.)

Once worked at a family-friendly restaurant/arcade, where I usually stood at the front door to make sure people didn't steal kids/kids didn't sneak out. I don't think I was stationed at the door this day, I think I was bussing since I was able to walk around, but still needed to note that someone is ALWAYS AT THE FRONT DOOR.

Anyway, one time a mom was going off, panicking and sobbing and threatening to call the police because her toddler had gone missing.

Checked the restrooms, checked the play tubes, the back offices, made sure the emergency exit door had a working alarm (in case toddler opened it and went outside), none of us could figure out how the fuck this child had disappeared, especially since the building wasn't particularly large.

Child was eventually found wandering around outside the building in her coat. We were located in a fairly big plaza, so besides the sidewalk directly in front the buildings, "outside" was all parking lot leading to up to the street. It was also fairly chilly outside, hence why the kid had a winter coat on. Mom went suspiciously quiet when her daughter was found; thought she might berate us at least for losing her kid or something.

The Manager on duty checked the security footage to see what had happened.

The child had never entered the building.

Let me repeat that.

The family, with the mother, had been caught on tape entering the building, but their toddler wasn't with them.

They left their 3-5 year old little girl outside, in cold weather, and didn't notice she wasn't with them until an hour later.

What.
The.
Fuck.
Click to expand...
I have no words.
Words have failed me.
 
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So I work through a staffing agency that is predominantly run by people with extremely poor communication skills. By that I mean that not too long ago, for a couple days straight, I got multiple emails from a recruiter from my company stating that they saw my resume and/or LinkedIn and thought that I would be a great fit...for the exact same position except for far less pay than what they are paying me now.

Worst part? I had to tell this person three times that I already work there before the emails stopped.
 
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This is the story of exactly how stupid large tech companies can be.

I get a new job, working for an enormous tech company. First day's orientation tells me this is not going to end well. Everybody in the orientation is a complete tool, acting like the HR rep running the thing was their personal senpai. If they're brown nosing HR, they are obviously hiring idiots.

Anyway, I'm there for a week, doing nothing, and they send us (this dept hired 10 people at once for one job title) to training. While I'm at training, the old dude who hired me retires and I guess I have a new manager or something. I won't meet him for another four weeks.

After leveling up with training, I meet the new boss who, from what I can tell, probably managed a warehouse previously. He sends me to get tethered to a senior team member. The guy I draw is someone I know from a previous job where he worked in sales. A sales tard has apparently been reborn as a principal engineer for a company that has nothing to do with his previous experience. We'll call him Rich because that's his name. Anyway, Rich is not happy to see me, as there is someone in the room who knows he is an idiot. I spend a week playing with scripts and microcode while he avoids his own cubicle.

While my apprenticeship is going on, I catch up with the other new hires, many of whom have apparently not been sent to training. I have no idea what their backgrounds are but they are talking about how stressful and demanding the job is and all of them are quoting how many hours they are putting in. This leaves me very confused, as the only way to put in 70 hours doing this job is to do the requisite 30 hours of actual work and spend the rest surfing the web, but there is nothing about this office that would entice anyone to stay there longer than necessary.

But now the good part. A recruiter (incidentally, the only competent one I've ever encountered) gets me to interview for a startup. I was sent to a different department for two weeks to help them with something and it took me three days, so I figured, "What the fuck," and skipped off one day for the interview. The position is a big step up, though I'll be responsible for just about everything, but the money compensates for that. I accept the offer.

Now, I've only been at megahuge corp for, like, six weeks. I've always been an asshole when it comes to jobs I don't like, so I don't give them a notice. I just stop showing up. A deposit is made twice a month. For four months.

I get a call at the house from that manager at Donkeycorp asking me to see him the next morning. I'm genuinely curious what he's going to do/say. I'm not dumb enough to spend the money they've been depositing, so I'm pretty sure the cops won't be involved, at least. When I arrive, he sits me down in his office and says, "I'm sorry OLJ, we're going to have to let you go." They take my badge and my laptop and that's it.

I don't think anyone noticed that I wasn't there for months. Someone must have asked, "What ever happened to OLJ," at a staff meeting or Christmas party or something.

tl;dr - Pissing off for fun and profit.
 
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Oh Long Johnson said:
This is the story of exactly how stupid large tech companies can be.

I get a new job, working for an enormous tech company. First day's orientation tells me this is not going to end well. Everybody in the orientation is a complete tool, acting like the HR rep running the thing was their personal senpai. If they're brown nosing HR, they are obviously hiring idiots.

Anyway, I'm there for a week, doing nothing, and they send us (this dept hired 10 people at once for one job title) to training. While I'm at training, the old dude who hired me retires and I guess I have a new manager or something. I won't meet him for another four weeks.

After leveling up with training, I meet the new boss who, from what I can tell, probably managed a warehouse previously. He sends me to get tethered to a senior team member. The guy I draw is someone I know from a previous job where he worked in sales. A sales tard has apparently been reborn as a principal engineer for a company that has nothing to do with his previous experience. We'll call him Rich because that's his name. Anyway, Rich is not happy to see me, as there is someone in the room who knows he is an idiot. I spend a week playing with scripts and microcode while he avoids his own cubicle.

While my apprenticeship is going on, I catch up with the other new hires, many of whom have apparently not been sent to training. I have no idea what their backgrounds are but they are talking about how stressful and demanding the job is and all of them are quoting how many hours they are putting in. This leaves me very confused, as the only way to put in 70 hours doing this job is to do the requisite 30 hours of actual work and spend the rest surfing the web, but there is nothing about this office that would entice anyone to stay there longer than necessary.

But now the good part. A recruiter (incidentally, the only competent one I've ever encountered) gets me to interview for a startup. I was sent to a different department for two weeks to help them with something and it took me three days, so I figured, "What the fuck," and skipped off one day for the interview. The position is a big step up, though I'll be responsible for just about everything, but the money compensates for that. I accept the offer.

Now, I've only been at megahuge corp for, like, six weeks. I've always been an asshole when it comes to jobs I don't like, so I don't give them a notice. I just stop showing up. A deposit is made twice a month. For four months.

I get a call at the house from that manager at Donkeycorp asking me to see him the next morning. I'm genuinely curious what he's going to do/say. I'm not dumb enough to spend the money they've been depositing, so I'm pretty sure the cops won't be involved, at least. When I arrive, he sits me down in his office and says, "I'm sorry OLJ, we're going to have to let you go." They take my badge and my laptop and that's it.

I don't think anyone noticed that I wasn't there for months. Someone must have asked, "What ever happened to OLJ," at a staff meeting or Christmas party or something.

tl;dr - Pissing off for fun and profit.
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Did they say why they were firing you? It'd be hilarious if you were fired only because your position wasn't needed anymore.
 
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Lurkette said:
Did they say why they were firing you? It'd be hilarious if you were fired only because your position wasn't needed anymore.
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It was kind of weird. I can't be sure if I'm projecting my expectations onto him but I thought he was hovering between rage and panic the entire time. I didn't say a word to him and I think that was basically how he preferred it to go down. I think part of him was hoping I'd say something so he could lose his mind screaming at me while another part was worried that I'd just bluntly lay it out there that his managerial effectiveness could not detect an employee who pulled a Houdini for almost half a year.

To answer your question, though, I was definitely fired. I forget exactly what he said but there was no doubt. The funny part is that on the drive home, I was actually working myself into getting mad at him for being rude about it. That feeling even stuck with me a few days and, once in a while since then, I'll find myself questioning how I could possibly have been offended given the circumstances. I just chalk it up to the reality of cognitive dissonance.
 
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