That was kind of a shit or get off the pot type situation. What you did was get off the pot, walk into the living room and then shit all over the floor. It wasn't just a "...bad idea..." it was a complete disintegration of whatever good-will you had engendered on this website and with Null up until this point. Fewer and fewer people will look at you as a reliable witness now and you are now an individual whose only value to this site is to be a target of mockery and derision, which is what anyone would expect to happen to someone who takes steaming Christmas shits on the living room floor. If you can't put your thoughts together for a long enough period of time to present your evidence to the community you came running to for help without "retraumatizing" yourself into a drunken-benzo stupor, then you should probably just move on. This isn't healthy.