16 months post op
So, I wasn’t going to post any more pictures until I got glans and testes implants done because I’m really unhappy with how my penis is right now, but I just need to document this so that I can remember how far I’ve come when things do look better.
I really thought by this point I would be well on my way to being finished with bottom surgery. I’ll be over 1.5 years post op by the time I get glans and it just sucks because this is how I expected things to look at all.
I’m on my second stricture and I am devastated because I only have ONE ball from my scrotoplasty because the other collapsed. Santucci thinks it will be fine once there’s balls in there, but I can’t get balls until my urethra is fixed so who knows when that will be.
My biggest aesthetic goal was balls. I love balls for some reason but I hate my balls and I hate that I hate them.
I just want to be finished. I just want things to be how I imagined them and not this in between awkward stage.
Things just aren’t great for me mentally right now. I lost 50 pounds before phallo but during the post op period with all my complications I gained it all back. When I lost that weight, I reduced like 80% of my chronic pain, but now it’s all back and worse.
I work full time, attend grad school, and I can’t stop school and take a break because I need to move out from my family because it’s not a good situation but I can’t afford to move out on my current salary even with my partner, but I can’t make more money until I finish my masters and I still have another year left. Can’t leave my job for a better job till I finish surgery because I have good insurances. And im just SO TIRED of being stuck in life.
Baby sock to catch all the post void leakage so I don’t piss my pants. Photo 3 shows my single ball, but if you look at the divot on the right, that’s my inverted second ball :/ I guess the last picture looks pretty okay….