AITA for sending my brother’s violent misogynist posts to his employer?
I'm a 24-year-old woman facing a moral and family crisis. My brother "Jake," who's 29, works for a well-known tech company. We're not super close, but we connect over gaming. That's how I know his unique gamer tag, which is important here.
Recently, a friend who also games with us alerted me that Jake might be involved in some nasty online behavior. He said he posts prolifically on an incel forum under his gaming tag. I did some digging and found the user in question.
The posts were disturbing. This user, undoubtedly Jake (just from various identifying details he shared), shared aggressive, misogynistic views about women. What truly horrified me was a post ranting about his sister – clearly referring to me – using terms like "toilet foid" and expressing violent, abusive thoughts. He literally said he wanted to r***e me and force me to do sexual things to him.
But it got worse. Jake had posted creepshots of his female colleagues, calling them degrading names and ranting about them. It wasn't just hate speech; it felt dangerous. Some of the photos looked like they were taken in a public restroom and the other users ranted about r***ing them.
Struggling with what to do, I ultimately decided to send everything to his employer. It felt like a threat to the safety of the women he worked with, and I was worried about what he might do.
Jake's been suspended pending an HR investigation. When he figured out it was me, he exploded, accusing me of ruining his life and career. Our parents are conflicted. Mom is appalled by Jake's behavior but thinks I should've confronted him first. Dad is upset, believing I've jeopardized Jake's future over "online nonsense."
I'm torn. Did I do the right thing by reporting him, or have I just worsened the situation, possibly pushing him further into these toxic beliefs?
So, AITA for reporting my brother's online behavior to his employer, leading to his suspension?
THE SCIENCE
