Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[p1138]

3. Why in the fuck is two thirds of the video the unboxing?

What do you expect him to do, show off some elite knife work? lol This is the same fucking idiot who once again talks up how he uses a bread knife to slice a fucking tomato... if you need a serrated knife to slice a tomato it's because your knives are shit. Even using his claw hand to hold a carrot he still can't slice it properly.. hell he didn't even manage to chop straight down and the damn knife only had to move an inch in his good hand. Then with celery he knows the bulb end sucks but doesn't understand why? Chops up the celery but leaves the shitty stringy veins in... which means whenever he does use celery you're probably going to get that shit stuck in your teeth.

Even Tammy can't slice a tomato worth a shit.

 

[Potato Burrito]

If he'd used that cleaver the way it's supposed to be used and chopped off that dead fucking claw dangling from his body I would buy these knives so fast. Disappointed as usual.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

View attachment 5583013

Lol I was texting a fat friend and look what popped up in a GIF search.

This looks to be before his last stroke. Weren't we led to believe he only used them at grocery stores and airports?

Looks to me like the lying fat faggot has had one at his house all along.

 

[She Brings The Rain]

This looks to be before his last stroke. Weren't we led to believe he only used them at grocery stores and airports?

Looks to me like the lying fat faggot has had one at his house all along.

I think it's from when he blew out his tendon walking. If I remember correctly, he was pretty open about using a scooter then, probably because he thought it wouldn't be permanent.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

I thought it was just because he's fucking retarded so he believes whatever Alex Jones level bullshit his almost as retarded brother tells him.

According to Jack, Charles bought a Tesla recently.

I’m to the right of Mussolini and I own a Tesla. Jack is just a moron. EV’s are not going anywhere.

 

[p1138]

So Fatty, wtf are you then?

 

[Super Hans v2]

So Fatty, wtf are you then?
View attachment 5586014

A true Christian, obviously. Don't you remember learning about Jesus' encounter with the Samaritan, and how He called a F-100 for a napalm strike?

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

So Fatty, wtf are you then?
View attachment 5586014

TRUE Christians don't belong behind bars for commiting tax fraud.

I'll bet they're planning to write off both the Cali and the Orlando trips since Jagoff posted footage of them on his stupid YouTube "show".

These people need to be audited, stat.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Considering St. Nicholas allegedly decked an Arian at Nicaea the timing of this mushbrained wisdom is perfect.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Rolling coal involves spending money on a diesel truck, fucking up the engine, and buying diesel fuel to roll coal with money. Money he could use to buy GUD meat and plenty of it.

It's like cutting off your nose to spite your face. It makes no sense but this is more a political and social statement than anything else.

If he had the money he's exactly the type of person to do it for no other reason than the government wants more EVs on the road.

Everyone knows you use a bread knife to cut tomatoes. What the fuck lmao.

The serrations help but if you have a sharp knife and keep it sharp you can use a chef's knife on a tomato. But Jagoff is the type to buy a cheap set of knives and just use them until they dull and then buy a new one.

It really is surprising after having a cooking show for over a decade, Jack does not know what a cleaver is and decides the best test for it is cutting root vegetables.

What do you expect when he calls the company "kie-oh-ku"? If he can't even figure out how to say the company name properly he can't be expected to know which knife is used for what. I mean he still insists on using a bread knife to cut a tomato. The best way to test if your knife is sharp enough is to use a chef's knife to cut one. If it cuts through with no issue then it's sharp. If you need to saw at it, or use the tip to give you a place to start then it needs sharpening.

But straight out of the box? It's going to be razor sharp.

If he'd used that cleaver the way it's supposed to be used and chopped off that dead fucking claw dangling from his body

You reminded me of this classic:

 

[Burd Turglar]

It's like cutting off your nose to spite your face. It makes no sense but this is more a political and social statement than anything else.

If he had the money he's exactly the type of person to do it for no other reason than the government wants more EVs on the road.


The serrations help but if you have a sharp knife and keep it sharp you can use a chef's knife on a tomato. But Jagoff is the type to buy a cheap set of knives and just use them until they dull and then buy a new one.


What do you expect when he calls the company "kie-oh-ku"? If he can't even figure out how to say the company name properly he can't be expected to know which knife is used for what. I mean he still insists on using a bread knife to cut a tomato. The best way to test if your knife is sharp enough is to use a chef's knife to cut one. If it cuts through with no issue then it's sharp. If you need to saw at it, or use the tip to give you a place to start then it needs sharpening.

But straight out of the box? It's going to be razor sharp.


You reminded me of this classic:

My girlfriend was getting a good laugh at me yelling at jack for not knowing what knife is for what and not even knowing the straight up basic method of cutting a God damn piece of celery. Slice, not shove the knife down like a cave man with a stroke...oh wait.

 

[Tiresome]

If he had the money he's exactly the type of person to do it for no other reason than the government wants more EVs on the road.

A man who would shout at a drive-thru speaker to fuck with the total stranger in the car in front of him is easily antisocial and uncivil enough to roll coal, he's likely additionally stupid enough to do something like brake-check a big rig.

 

[James done did it]

Lol they are totally going to resume the channel after he dies aren't they?

I think I posted this before but I'm still wagering on Junior taking the disgusting, sweaty hat and putting it on his head, then slowly turning it backwards while saying "There must always be a ja/ck/"

Honestly I'm really, really rooting for it. I don't know how much longer we'll have with Scalfani Sr.

(also that knife video is fucking great)

 

[densedance]

 

[Tiresome]

Synopsis: Jack is a gurgling blob of crippled crap and too ignorant to figure out how Yootoobf works. Jack did a live and fucked it up, only two people showed up because he's only got two paying members out of his half a million subscribers. Jack is in favor for putting honey on his brussel sprouts. (SUGAR) NO MORE AUNT MYRNA. YOUTUBE IS NOTHING BUT DRAMA. YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS TO EARN MONEY, UNFAIR. Jack is sorry for being an idiot. Merry Christmas. Jack will be back 10am next Saturday if his arteries hold out.

 

[Potato Burrito]

Damn even the wendigo is on its fourth stroke in this. How is this enfeebled meat sack still sentient (barely)?

Tammy just needs to take him out back and Old Yeller him already, this is sad. Give him a nice sendoff in his own smokers as high as they'll go.

 

[The Cunting Death]

So Fatty, wtf are you then?
View attachment 5586014

One, no true Scottsman.
Two, you're the embodiment of every Bible belt Christian dad of the last 40 years.
Three, you're already categorizing them you fat cunt.

 

[Aunt Carol]

With Jack's delusions of grandeur, love of Bitmoji and general thirst for merch, it's surprising he hasn't commissioned a custom figurine or plush.

I haven't done the research, but I assume places like YouTooz have standards and crowdfunders like Makeship would need promises about the size of his audience. Tammy could order Jack a one-off customized Funko Pop, but she'd probably have to explain over and over why they don't have a garage full of them.

 

[p1138]

Synopsis: Jack is a gurgling blob of crippled crap and too ignorant to figure out how Yootoobf works. Jack did a live and fucked it up, only two people showed up because he's only got two paying members out of his half a million subscribers. Jack is in favor for putting honey on his brussel sprouts. (SUGAR) NO MORE AUNT MYRNA. YOUTUBE IS NOTHING BUT DRAMA. YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS TO EARN MONEY, UNFAIR. Jack is sorry for being an idiot. Merry Christmas. Jack will be back 10am next Saturday if his arteries hold out.

So he set his livestream to "members only" and was surprised when only members could see it... and somehow that's youtube being stupid? The fact that he could do a livestream and just NEVER look at the statistics or chat to notice that there's something wrong... lol

His voice is raspy because he finished a 30 minute live broadcast to nobody.

ENGLISH ONLY PLEASE!

3:30 in he's still crying about setting his live stream to members only and having no members... looks at the numbers now but didn't look at them then other than to think it was "weird" no one was there...

The fact that Aunt Myrna is alive... that means he could capitalize on the party cheese salad and have it done "right", but of course he won't Back to crying about how when you kill engagement that youtube doesn't show your videos to people, like turning off the comments and getting no views "isn't fair" because it wants drama... no dumbass it wants engagement.

5:45 STILL crying about youtube "doing it's little tweaks, I don't think it ever will" what the fuck does that even mean? It's a random half of a sentence, and there's nothing in the chat that he could be responding to except maybe the shadow ban comment? but he definitely isn't shadow banned, he's just a fucking idiot.

Back to talking about his throat being dry and sore because he spoke for a while. Not because he's a stroked out retard.

 

[Human Butthole]

Gave myself a radial nerve injury on my right hand and I feel like Jack with a useless limb. Can't even turn a doorknob the shit hurts so bad. At least now I know what it's like to be Jack. Temporarily though.