Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[RotPockets]

Has Rekieta always existed, like a Highlander Crylander? This piece is called “Jug Hobo” from the 1930s. I was looking for an example of how he has that weird mouth all bearded hobos have where they have no upper lip just a gaping anus-like booze maw.

Spoiler: Angles

It really captures the smug self-satisfaction of a perpetual dependent, someone that has never accomplished anything on their own yet inexplicably believes they’ve gathered “wisdom” from a life unlived.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

How nick calls his family when it's time for dinner.

 

[newuser131]

For sure. Yellow Flash is in good standing with Gary of Nerdortic and Gary has, more or less, blacklisted Nick from the Fandom Menace due to the fact that Juju, who is Nick's dream daddy, has been trying to bring down the business of a good friend of Gary's (Eric July) and Nick would gladly destroy his friendship and financial success he got with Nerdortic's crew in order to please daddy Juju. Nick is, for a lack of a better word, retarded.

also, vito was the one who flagged gary's fnt a year ago. vito is on team juju, rekieta is on team juju, therefore rekieta has chosen a side.

 

[Swole McPole]

• Crouching Cuckhold, Hidden Balldo
• The Swinging, big nosed wierdo
• Five Balldos
• Degenerate-Gays and Swinger-Degenerates
• Spicer Slave
• Balldo in the Red Vase
• Cope-fu master
• Degeneracy of the Drunk Minnesotan

He was a big Kung-Fu guy as well. My guess is that his favourites would include:

The Legend of Drunken Masturbator
Enter the Balldo
Once Upon a Time in Hedonism
The 8 Diagram Pole Sucker
Drink Cum With Me

Anything that features Sammo Well-Hung.

 

[Spaded Dave]

You guys have my permission to stop posting gay song lyrics now. Half of you don't even adhere to the proper syllable count in what you're parodying and it's becoming a lot to scroll past.

 

[FedPostalService]

We taking bets on a family annihilation style murder-suicide at the Rackets household tomorrow?

 

[Ice Gun Ninja]

We taking bets on a family annihilation style murder-suicide at the Rackets household tomorrow?

Another "worst day of his life" incoming.

 

[not william stenchever]

You guys have my permission to stop posting gay song lyrics now. Half of you don't even adhere to the proper syllable count in what you're parodying and it's becoming a lot to scroll past.

You have nothing to worry about from me friend. I'm bad at lyrics. However I will state once again for the record that Rackets hates his children, hates his parents, hates God, and is a repulsive cum guzzling faggot.

 

[Fapcop]

So let me try my hand at it. Traditional Characters first followed by Simplified. I recommend getting your victim to use Traditional Characters because it has more strokes, more pain, more humiliation.

How the F did you translate “balldo”. Did you combine the characters of “PENIS CAGE TESTICLE” or something?!

 

[AirdropShitposts]

You guys have my permission to stop posting gay song lyrics now. Half of you don't even adhere to the proper syllable count in what you're parodying and it's becoming a lot to scroll past.

Nice try, but the song lyric posters don't respond to extortion attempts.

 

[Maude Snew]

Ty apologized for missing his birthday & blamed Facebook for not giving him a reminder alert. Nick said he isn’t mad about that at all.

Of course not, Nick loves Ty, hopes he makes a million dollars.

 

[No Scope]

I'm going to be in the minority and hope that Nick reopens his law office. If Nick were to win the lolsuit against Monty, which I doubt, what better way to advertise to new clients than his win. I'm sure the first sucker client will sue him for malpractice or file some valid ethics complaint a few months later leading to his disbarment.

 

[Fapcop]

This motherfucker is such a piece of shit I actually had to take a break from my holiday travels to create this for my fellow farmers.

To be clear, I don't give a fuck about the crassness of the humor. I'm not moralfagging about that. But this alcoholic faggot spent 15 minutes grandstanding about Schneider not being considerate of addicts less than 24 fucking hours ago. What a retard.


View attachment 5584130

Yeah, it’s not particularly funny, but mocking an addict for dying when you’ve JUST sat and talked about having respect for addicts because they CANT not do drugs, is a real smooth brained POS move.

(Also: His take is as uninformed as it’s not funny. MP had ketamine and Buprenorphine, an opiate agonist/antagonist that is prescribed for addiction, in his system, not ALL DA DRUGS!)

I think Nick is seething because Matthew Perry had everything that Nick wants in life: Tons of cash, tons of ass and pussy. No responsibility. Yet instead of living that sweet libertine life, he had to waste it and DIE LIKE A JUNKIE!

 

[Artificial Stupidity]

Nicky is now sneeding that Jersh will NEVER be allowed in the kingdom of Balldo EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Very ironic since not too long ago he said he loved Josh and wished him a billion dollars and he just needed to be a good boy to get Nick's expert legal aid.

Nick is dying of alcoholism, he's so wet brained, the only way null will consider speaking to nick is if he sobers up is extortion to nick, this is solidifying how wet brained he is.

The closeted homosexuality nick has is driving him, sad very sad.

 

[Fapcop]

This whole concept of a hot tub stream is just weird to me.

(Like what do you say when you kids want to do something? “Sorry, that’ll have to wait! I’m doing my hot tub stream now!”)

Did he start in some attempt to bring in winemoms on stream, soaking in hot tubs showing off their bolt ons?

It’s just weird.

Titty streamers do it because simps want to see tittys. Nick does it because… His trial/legal audience demanded it?!?


I totally believe him when he says he wants to start an OF though. Too bad that high regard for his kids didn’t pop up when he told his stream that he balldo’d his wife.

Imagine knowing that about your parents. Fuck!

 

[Maude Snew]

This whole concept of a hot tub stream is just weird to me.

(Like what do you say when you kids want to do something? “Sorry, that’ll have to wait! I’m doing my hot tub stream now!”)

Did he start in some attempt to bring in winemoms on stream, soaking in hot tubs showing off their bolt ons?

It’s just weird.

Titty streamers do it because simps want to see tittys. Nick does it because… His trial/legal audience demanded it?!?


I totally believe him when he says he wants to start an OF though. Too bad that high regard for his kids didn’t pop up when he told his stream that he balldo’d his wife.

Imagine knowing that about your parents. Fuck!

If he was even remotely in his right mind I'd say a tax thing passing it off as a business expense but trying to get myself into Nick's way of thinking wouldn't work without giving myself massive brain damage and I don't have a trust fund to ride that out.

 

[elb]

This whole concept of a hot tub stream is just weird to me.

(Like what do you say when you kids want to do something? “Sorry, that’ll have to wait! I’m doing my hot tub stream now!”)

Did he start in some attempt to bring in winemoms on stream, soaking in hot tubs showing off their bolt ons?

The hot tub streams pre-date The Coomening. He’s been doing those for awhile now

You guys have my permission to stop posting gay song lyrics now. Half of you don't even adhere to the proper syllable count in what you're parodying and it's becoming a lot to scroll past.

Bah humbug

 

[Get the rope Macaulay!]

Taekwondo is really gay now

I assure you it was gay then too. it was a meme for literal incel types like Nick. Which is why it was mocked in both napoleon dynamite and the foot fist way in the early 2000s. every loser in the 90s was into it.

Are her parents well to do and retired? It is my understanding that Kayla's family is much closer to them than Nick's are, which is the entire reason why Nick states why he can't move out of MN.

even if they were trailer trash thats even more reason for them to constantly be over. My extended family lives within driving distance and its like modern family every week. The Rekieta household should feel like the Ruby Ridge compound with a dozen adults and countless kids running all over the place. I'd assume if Kayla is that close with them that they couldn't even leave the area that they must have been helping the parents at some point.

 

[he who has thus come/gone]

This whole concept of a hot tub stream is just weird to me.

(Like what do you say when you kids want to do something? “Sorry, that’ll have to wait! I’m doing my hot tub stream now!”)

Did he start in some attempt to bring in winemoms on stream, soaking in hot tubs showing off their bolt ons?

It’s just weird.

Titty streamers do it because simps want to see tittys. Nick does it because… His trial/legal audience demanded it?!?

Probably just laziness and pride. The thought process in his head likely is that people come to his streams to listen to him dispense wisdom and comedy, so he might as well do that in a way that is most comfortable to him personally, and what's more comfortable than hanging out in his hot tub? There might be a bragging aspect to it, too, as if showing off his hot tub is a way to exhibit his wealth and success despite being a non-practicing lawyer, or as if him making money from his hot tub is a big middle finger to all the actual hardworking professionals out there (which is just cope).

Maybe there's a sexual parasocial thing, too, but I honestly think most of it is just thinking that his audience is servile and doesn't care about anything other than the thoughts sliding off his wetbrain, so might as well do that in a hot tub since the audience is gonna be the same in the end.

 

[Ethan Ralph Is 5'1"]

This whole concept of a hot tub stream is just weird to me.

(Like what do you say when you kids want to do something? “Sorry, that’ll have to wait! I’m doing my hot tub stream now!”)

Did he start in some attempt to bring in winemoms on stream, soaking in hot tubs showing off their bolt ons?

It’s just weird.

Titty streamers do it because simps want to see tittys. Nick does it because… His trial/legal audience demanded it?!?


I totally believe him when he says he wants to start an OF though. Too bad that high regard for his kids didn’t pop up when he told his stream that he balldo’d his wife.

Imagine knowing that about your parents. Fuck!

It's definitely exhibitionism. He's made it clear many times that he's a nudist, even though he's unable to simply state it clearly and with pride.
It's why he goes to Hedonism II (if we're being very charitable and just take Ricardo and Romaine banging Kayla as shitposting for a minute)

Him being a nudist make these hot tub streams very creepy, tbh, because he's obviously getting some sort of gratification out of it and he's forcing his viewers to be a part of it.