Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 783 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,380
Gave myself a radial nerve injury on my right hand and I feel like Jack with a useless limb. Can't even turn a doorknob the shit hurts so bad. At least now I know what it's like to be Jack. Temporarily though.
But unlike Jack I would assume you plan to do what is needed to regain function in your injured arm. Jack just decided to do fuck all and hope for the best.
 
Jack is in favor for putting honey on his brussel sprouts. (SUGAR) NO MORE AUNT MYRNA.
Yeah but it's mostly fructose which, while sweeter than sucrose, has a lower glycemic index. Not that that matters to him. He just craves sweet and can't eat processed sugars anymore.

Gave myself a radial nerve injury on my right hand and I feel like Jack with a useless limb. Can't even turn a doorknob the shit hurts so bad. At least now I know what it's like to be Jack. Temporarily though.
We've all had to suffer through bouts of that. But at no time do you, or anybody else, blame it on outside forces. You were probably being stupid or it was an accident. Jagoff likes to say he did everything right and it's due to things outside his control that caused it.

Guy literally can't take responsibility for anything.
 
A Visit From The Wendigo

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the home,
The smell of cheese salad invaded your nose.
The bags of our garbage were piled up on the curb,
Full of leftovers, raw meat and dessert.
The children were locked up all tight in their rooms,
Beth Sue softly crying, and Russ trolling troons.
And Mama and I, stumbling home from the bar,
Had just settled down to shoot up some tar
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I grabbed my AR to see what was the matter.
I lurched to the window, to flip off the sheriff,
And kick up the standoff I thought was apparent.
The moon on the breast of the junk cars outside,
Gave off too much light for the lawmen to hide,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a shambling figure, with antlers like deer,
And a wide gaping mouth, with juices aflow,
I knew right away, this was the Wendigo!
More rapid than sloths, his scooter it came,
And he called his companions, each one by their name:
“On Zoe! On Bre, I’m dragging in Hope,
Come Junior, come Tammy, and come on in close!”
He was dressed in a tee shirt (“Jesus greater than Earth”)
And his belly stuck out, with ridiculous girth.
His face was so swollen! His lips lolling wide,
And his withering arm hung loose by his side.
His clothes stained with juice, and a bag at his feet,
He pointed to the smoker he left as a treat.
“You can cook all your pulpork, every meat you hold dear,
And still have enough for your chili next year.”
Some packets of freeze-dried beef for my kids,
And my wife got Alibaba knives from “BELSID”.
“This last one’s for you,” the Wendigo slurred,
And gave me some meat that once was a bird.
Its color was pale, the juices ran pink,
And underneath all the butter, I detected a stink.
So the Wendigo coughed, and choked on his spit,
To tell all his family it’s now time to split.
As they dragged him away, he made one last cry,
“I love all you guys, and I’ll see you next time!”
 
A Visit From The Wendigo

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the home,
The smell of cheese salad invaded your nose.
The bags of our garbage were piled up on the curb,
Full of leftovers, raw meat and dessert.
The children were locked up all tight in their rooms,
Beth Sue softly crying, and Russ trolling troons.
And Mama and I, stumbling home from the bar,
Had just settled down to shoot up some tar
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I grabbed my AR to see what was the matter.
I lurched to the window, to flip off the sheriff,
And kick up the standoff I thought was apparent.
The moon on the breast of the junk cars outside,
Gave off too much light for the lawmen to hide,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a shambling figure, with antlers like deer,
And a wide gaping mouth, with juices aflow,
I knew right away, this was the Wendigo!
More rapid than sloths, his scooter it came,
And he called his companions, each one by their name:
“On Zoe! On Bre, I’m dragging in Hope,
Come Junior, come Tammy, and come on in close!”
He was dressed in a tee shirt (“Jesus greater than Earth”)
And his belly stuck out, with ridiculous girth.
His face was so swollen! His lips lolling wide,
And his withering arm hung loose by his side.
His clothes stained with juice, and a bag at his feet,
He pointed to the smoker he left as a treat.
“You can cook all your pulpork, every meat you hold dear,
And still have enough for your chili next year.”
Some packets of freeze-dried beef for my kids,
And my wife got Alibaba knives from “BELSID”.
“This last one’s for you,” the Wendigo slurred,
And gave me some meat that once was a bird.
Its color was pale, the juices ran pink,
And underneath all the butter, I detected a stink.
So the Wendigo coughed, and choked on his spit,
To tell all his family it’s now time to split.
As they dragged him away, he made one last cry,
“I love all you guys, and I’ll see you next time!”
Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.
 
Shurgur bad. Honey no shurgur. Honey gud.

What a phenomenal fucking sped.
It's almost like I called it exactly how it was when I said fatty doesn't consider anything to be SHUGUR unless it's plan granulated or maybe powdered sugar.
Yeah but it's mostly fructose which, while sweeter than sucrose, has a lower glycemic index. Not that that matters to him. He just craves sweet and can't eat processed sugars anymore.
Do you really believe this man knows wtf a glycemic index is, or the impact of the quantity of sugar he consumes is?

Also, it seems Fatty has set his FB page to only allow members to scroll through it I guess. Jr must have noticed the uptick in the ability to mine it for gold.
 
Jack is so useless that he can't even press down on a Magic Bullet. And even if he could, he wouldn't because bigger chunks of FUD means GUD.
More like Jack's so goddamn retarded he almost broke it twice in the same video. Also he was so stupid that he blamed fucking up making an omelet on it rather than just sucking at cooking eggs. He from that point was aiming to make it look bad and looked for ways to say it sucks.
 
More like Jack's so goddamn retarded he almost broke it twice in the same video. Also he was so stupid that he blamed fucking up making an omelet on it rather than just sucking at cooking eggs. He from that point was aiming to make it look bad and looked for ways to say it sucks.
How the fuck do you break a magic bullet? You just put shit in and press until soup, right?
 
How the fuck do you break a magic bullet? You just put shit in and press until soup, right?
If you press the button too hard or put too much shit in it at once you can derate and break its spinning motion. It's a bit fragile in this respect, but you can easily tell if that will happen by not slamming the button down like a retard and doing quick pulses.
 
If you press the button too hard or put too much shit in it at once you can derate and break its spinning motion. It's a bit fragile in this respect, but you can easily tell if that will happen by not slamming the button down like a retard and doing quick pulses.
The motor in those things is weak as hell. I had a friend that had one and he literally burned out the motor from trying to blend something.
 
Get you Christmas!
Screenshot_20231225_150342_Facebook.jpg
 
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Get you Christmas!
Not “thanks for letting me live after multiple debilitating gluttony-induced injuries”. Not “thanks for my fans and [hate]viewers” (lol). Not even “thanks for my family and friends”. It’s “thanks for plastic toys and polyester sportsball shirt”. Never change Jack :story: God knows you won’t .
 
Not “thanks for letting me live after multiple debilitating gluttony-induced injuries”. Not “thanks for my fans and [hate]viewers” (lol). Not even “thanks for my family and friends”. It’s “thanks for plastic toys and polyester sportsball shirt”. Never change Jack :story: God knows you won’t .
Well I don't think Fatty got a new car. I think this is his mushbrain attempt at trying to tell other people to think about Jesus instead of gifts they received.
 
Well I don't think Fatty got a new car. I think this is his mushbrain attempt at trying to tell other people to think about Jesus instead of gifts they received.
It almost has a seething quality to it. Like, someone he knew got a car, someone else got a PS5, and here he is with his jersey that he can't even put on without help.
 
It almost has a seething quality to it. Like, someone he knew got a car, someone else got a PS5, and here he is with his jersey that he can't even put on without help.
Screenshot_20231225-105955~2.png

This is supposed to be a Dallas Cowboys jersey?? Stupid. Ugly as hell too. These people could fuck up a wet dream.

And it always kills me when he posts on boomerbook in gigantic script you instead of your. Jesus he does it ALL the time too lmfao.

Get you stupid ugly overpriced jersey
 
View attachment 5591357
This is supposed to be a Dallas Cowboys jersey?? Stupid. Ugly as hell too. These people could fuck up a wet dream.

And it always kills me when he posts on boomerbook in gigantic script you instead of your. Jesus he does it ALL the time too lmfao.

Get you stupid ugly overpriced jersey

White trash like this frames these things and put them on the living room wall.
 
View attachment 5591357
This is supposed to be a Dallas Cowboys jersey?? Stupid. Ugly as hell too. These people could fuck up a wet dream.

And it always kills me when he posts on boomerbook in gigantic script you instead of your. Jesus he does it ALL the time too lmfao.

Get you stupid ugly overpriced jersey
There is no fucking way this thing is legit. The stitching looks like total shit, especially at the bottom of the first "1". Not to mention it's hilarious how small the numbers are compared to the jersey itself because they had to get a 4 or 5xl It also looks like the left sleeve already has a run in it or some shitty loose thread. This has to be some made in china knock off crap.
jersey_back.jpg
 
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