Have To Move Out (
self.MtF)
submitted 1 month ago * by
Kaseffera to
r/MtF
So I was living my best life with my family being a closeted girl at home and living a cis girl life outside fully passing or at least being at an “acceptable” point to have people feel comfortable around me and never raise questions about my gender.
Not long ago I posted about uncle bothering me and finding out I have a name changed legally. It went okay, we continued usual life.
However yesterday he came home and started yelling at me, asking who I am, what’s in my sex line in ID. I told him it’s male and that I couldn’t change it to F here. Then he started how I make family look bad and funny. Then he said “If you think that your grandmas memories will let you live free here and shit on us you are being wrong”. “You make me look silly”.
I told him I did nothing wrong.
That I even dress masculine just for them! I have a pixie.
At one point he raised his tshirt hands like he was preparing to hit me. I started crying.
I want to move from here. I don’t feel safe. I’m tired of living a life where I change my clothes in taxi spending tons of money, where I do my makeup sitting in a bus, on a park bench. I’m tired of fulfilling someone else’s fantasies of me. I’m tired of not having friends because of weirdo family. I’m tired of being scared. I surrender to them everything. Long hair, nails, dresses, makeup, voice. Now what?! Name?! Sex line in ID? NO. Enough.
It’s so hard to find a room in my city because of Russian mass migration but my coworker lady mentioned her having a nice room for rent if I wanted. I feel like I’d like to speak with her. She’s nice. The only person that speaks with me there and loves me truly. She’s even making for me a bracelet and suggested she could give me some money before my paycheck.
I know it’s tough. I wanted to save money, I want to live with my mom and sister but this awful man is destroying my mental health and it’s too much for me.
P.S. Not long ago he asked me where I work and what’s the address. I lied to him. Now I’m scared he would like to find it out and come and make a scene. I should stick to my workplace and have a constant flow of money. I can’t afford loosing it even if I’m sick of coworkers or any other thing.