Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 783 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,380
There is no fucking way this thing is legit
100% a knock-off. most obviously due to the hilariously bad craftsmanship others have pointed out,
1703576530868.png

the numbers should be printed onto the jersey material-- not applied as shitty (uneven) decals.

also jerseys that have the tiny team name like that use the actual logo in that chunky retarded "old-timey" font:

1703575668004.png

not whatever this shit is
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also "Saints Black & Gold" is not a colorway for cowboys merch. some of the more obscure "salute to service" variants are like... yellow and ochre or something, but not black and gold... or to be more precise "black and gold except the flat safety-yellow player name"

this is just a cobbled-together rayon tent with a nike swoosh hot glued to the arm. i guess as uptight as scalfatty is about Netflix piracy, he does't have a problem with pirating gear from his beloved and noble fubba franchise...

EDIT: this is probably the one junior bought. looks about right, including those weird inverted-Y autopsy seams on the back: https://teehandy.com/product/dallas-cowboys-micah-parsons-black-golden-limited-jersey/
 
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This is supposed to be a Dallas Cowboys jersey?? Stupid. Ugly as hell too. These people could fuck up a wet dream.

And it always kills me when he posts on boomerbook in gigantic script you instead of your. Jesus he does it ALL the time too lmfao.

Get you stupid ugly overpriced jersey
lol @ jr being so broke that he can't even afford to buy his dad a real jersey as a gift

that's a hilariously awful knockoff even for knockoff standards and the cowboys have certainly never played a game in anything remotely similar to that jersey or colors. guarantee he came across it through some pop up ad online and thought it was some vintage throwback jersey from back in the day. even tammy's ridiculous tim tebow cowboys jersey is more authentic than that shit

if he was set on buying a fake, retard could've at least bought one with the actual cowboys colors. dhgate is full of cheap knockoffs like this one that would've cost him no more than $45 for the jersey+shipping

1703577279055.jpeg
 
100% a knock-off. most obviously due to the hilariously bad craftsmanship others have pointed out,
View attachment 5591697
the numbers should be printed onto the jersey material-- not applied as shitty (uneven) decals.

also jerseys that have the tiny team name like that use the actual logo in that chunky retarded "old-timey" font:

View attachment 5591689

not whatever this shit is
View attachment 5591684
also "Saints Black & Gold" is not a colorway for cowboys merch. some of the more obscure "salute to service" variants are like... yellow and ochre or something, but not black and gold... or to be more precise "black and gold except the flat safety-yellow player name"

this is just a cobbled-together rayon tent with a nike swoosh hot glued to the arm. i guess as uptight as scalfatty is about Netflix piracy, he does't have a problem with pirating gear from his beloved and noble fubba franchise...

EDIT: this is probably the one junior bought. looks about right, including those weird inverted-Y autopsy seams on the back: https://teehandy.com/product/dallas-cowboys-micah-parsons-black-golden-limited-jersey/
No... that's now how Nike did them until very recently. The Y stich on the back, and stitched on numbers are correct. It's the version Nike was using for the past couple of years before switching to their "FUSE elite" or whatever it's called for the current ones. Yeah, the design of the stitching and seam locations is supposed to look that bad. You can even see the stupid seams below the numbers on the back in Aaway's image.
 
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There is no fucking way this thing is legit. The stitching looks like total shit, especially at the bottom of the first "1". Not to mention it's hilarious how small the numbers are compared to the jersey itself because they had to get a 4 or 5xl It also looks like the left sleeve already has a run in it or some shitty loose thread. This has to be some made in china knock off crap.
View attachment 5591641

Why is Tammy holding up the shirt, and not Jack himself?

Oh wait...
 
Why is Tammy holding up the shirt, and not Jack himself?

Oh wait...
Nah, there's something a step weirder than that. I don't know about other families and christmas photos, but in mine whenever someone gets something like that they can just toss on real quick for a picture, that's the picture you'd normally show someone else.

Of course that would be an ordeal for Fatty. Wondering how much of a struggle it might be for Fatty with his dead arm, I just put on a shirt treat my dominant arm as if it were dead and useless unable to even be raised more than just a small amount. Now since I'm not a 450 pound lardass, I was able to use my other arm to get the sleeve over a dead arm, get the shirt over my head after getting my other arm through, then reaching over to pull it down properly. But even with his "gud arm" Fatty doesn't have the dexterity to properly wipe his ass anymore, let alone reach across his body or behind his head to straighten out clothing. Which then directed me to the hilarious and horrifying conclusion, that Tammy must dress him. There is no fucking way this lump could put pants on by himself, and yet he still occasionally makes snide comments to his wife on video...
 
My face is legit hurting from laughing so hard at the piling on of that ugly gay jersey.
Some 9 year old in a Chinese factory probably spent like two hours at 11 cents/per assembling that shit.
Can't wait for Jagoff to dribble some sauced pulporks down the front of it so Tranny can wash it, then melt it down and kill it in the dryer on only low heat
 
My face is legit hurting from laughing so hard at the piling on of that ugly gay jersey.
Some 9 year old in a Chinese factory probably spent like two hours at 11 cents/per assembling that shit.
Can't wait for Jagoff to dribble some sauced pulporks down the front of it so Tranny can wash it, then melt it down and kill it in the dryer on only low heat
It's just so easy to talk shit when he's proud of his grown man of a son buying him a $40 knock off jersey.
In other news, Fatty decided to post about NFTs for some fucking reason? Yes, some people made money and a bunch of people lost money. That's how pump and dump scams work Fatty.
jack_nft.JPG
 
It's just so easy to talk shit when he's proud of his grown man of a son buying him a $40 knock off jersey.
In other news, Fatty decided to post about NFTs for some fucking reason? Yes, some people made money and a bunch of people lost money. That's how pump and dump scams work Fatty.
View attachment 5592183
Could Fatty Doo Doo have gotten involved in some NFT scam and lost money on it?

Sounds like something he'd be stupid enough to get involved in.
 
It's just so easy to talk shit when he's proud of his grown man of a son buying him a $40 knock off jersey.
In other news, Fatty decided to post about NFTs for some fucking reason? Yes, some people made money and a bunch of people lost money. That's how pump and dump scams work Fatty.
View attachment 5592183
At this point I'm starting to think that the Wendigo's mind only reaches through the fog to grasp at sapience after consuming a shitton of JUICY MEATS (Christmas). That shit happened like what, 2 years ago Jack you stroked out motherfucker!

Anyway, I still can't believe that retards thought that pngs were ever worth anything just because they had a token attached to them. Even children know that writing "1488TTDBBCNIGGER5" on a candy wrapper doesn't make it inherently valuable if the candy is just not there. You have to be a subhuman to fall for that shit, so yeah, Jagoff probably bought that shit but forgot about it until the rousing of the Wendigo compelled him to check his account today or something.
 
Could Fatty Doo Doo have gotten involved in some NFT scam and lost money on it?

Sounds like something he'd be stupid enough to get involved in.
I feel like we'd have seen it or mentions about how right click is theft if he had. Jack can't spend money on something and not show it off to everyone.

Considering he's been passive aggressive and very sour grapes lately, I wonder if he knows someone who made a bit of money off NFT's. Not life changing amounts or he'd have been all over it, but maybe just a few hundred bucks on the side sorta deal.
 
Could Fatty Doo Doo have gotten involved in some NFT scam and lost money on it?

Sounds like something he'd be stupid enough to get involved in.
I dunno. Half the shit he posts about has nothing to do with him, then sometimes he inserts some bullshit like that crap about cars and jerseys only to have gotten a jersey. Earlier today he was posting new years shit and people were calling out that he was a week early so he bitched about christmas stuff being in stores early... yet he pretends to hate the commercial side of christmas except when it benefits him so maybe it was just a mushbrain moment and he forgot what day it was.
 
Could Fatty Doo Doo have gotten involved in some NFT scam and lost money on it?

Sounds like something he'd be stupid enough to get involved in.
I feel like we'd have seen it or mentions about how right click is theft if he had. Jack can't spend money on something and not show it off to everyone.

Considering he's been passive aggressive and very sour grapes lately, I wonder if he knows someone who made a bit of money off NFT's. Not life changing amounts or he'd have been all over it, but maybe just a few hundred bucks on the side sorta deal.
My hypothesis is that Jack got scammed not on NFTs themselves but on a NFT-making scheme
Maybe some troll offered Jack to make NFTs for him and make him rich, he just needed some money upfront for the minting, Jack willing gave money to him ("GET YOU NFT") and the guy ran to Mexico with the money or something like that

edit: typo
 
I feel like we'd have seen it or mentions about how right click is theft if he had. Jack can't spend money on something and not show it off to everyone.

Considering he's been passive aggressive and very sour grapes lately, I wonder if he knows someone who made a bit of money off NFT's. Not life changing amounts or he'd have been all over it, but maybe just a few hundred bucks on the side sorta deal.
Fatty’s oldest son (Garrett,
The one he choked out for smoking weed) did ok on NFTs to live an indulgent life of weed, rap, and ladyboy prostitutes in Thailand right now.

Jack is whining that the most successful Scalfani doesn’t have a “real job”. Yet Jack hasn’t had a real job since getting fired as a theme park DJ 20 years ago .
 
The idea of a non fungible token is kinda interesting for something like contracts and ways to validate ownership or something. Stupid monkey pictures were never going to be more than a boom/bust fad.

The jersey does look like something from DHgate. I've actually bought a couple counterfeit jerseys before and at first glance they can look ok, but looking actually at them they always seem off. They also fit and feel wrong too. Also why cowboys? He's in Titans territory and he was in raiders/rams territory before.
 
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Also, here’s the updated knife list:

#Name
1Edge of Belgravia Knives
2Mr. Chef Knife Set
3Ideeland Pro 8" Chef Knife
4Zelite Infinity Knives
5Zelite Knives (follow up w/ Santoku)
6Victorinox Knives
7Miracle Blades Series 3
8Aeroknife
9Miracle Blades World Class Series
10Klitory Damascus Steel Chef
11Vie Belles Reserve Knives
12Imarku Knives - 2018
13Tuo Cutlery - 2019
14The Chef Club Knives
15Tuo Knives Falcon Series - 2020
16Tuo Legacy Series - 2021
17Yoshi Blade
18"Knife Aid" Shark Tank
19Hammer Stahl Cutlery
20Steinbruke Knives
21Granitstone Knives
22Imarku Knives -2022
23CardSharp 2
24HexClad Japanese Damascus Steel Knives
25Kyoku Knives

Sorry I haven’t been around much, but hope you had (or are having) a nice holiday if you celebrate.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=819VMXX4tWs

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His gut has swollen to such proportions it has earned a title.
Fatty didn’t even do a true time lapse for the test. It’s a still image with lower thirds over the top. The lighting is the same in the background, no doubt the sun would have been down in TN by 6:40/7:40pm this time of year.

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What a dumb video. Of course the Tik Tok mug was going to fail. You can tell by how cheap the lid design looks.
 
The idea of a non fungible token is kinda interesting for something like contracts and ways to validate ownership or something. Stupid monkey pictures were never going to be more than a boom/bust fad.

The jersey does look like something from DHgate. I've actually bought a couple counterfeit jerseys before and at first glance they can look ok, but looking actually at them they always seem off. They also fit and feel wrong too. Also why cowboys? He's in Titans territory and he was in raiders/rams territory before.
Probably because the Cowboys are "America's team". I don't remember the timeline of when he was in CA, but I don't really see him as a fan of any of their teams because of their fanbases. The Raiders are black, the Chargers are Latinos, and the 49ers are gay liberals. Maybe the Rams back in the day but he probably considers them "traitors" for moving to St Louis.
 
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