Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[CoolFool]

This doesn't work for me because attractiveness is kind of irrelevant in terms of social interaction for me. The fact that I'm talking to a woman, regardless if I find her hot or not is enough to cause anxiety and make me fumble and fuck up. I got anxious and awkward talking to my own family members I've known my entire life so talking to a girl, even if she's obese is enough to freak me out.

Well you aren't ever going to get over this anxiety by not talking to women. Like anything in life that makes you anxious, you have to keep exposing yourself to it or you'll stay that way forever.

 

[Doppelmonger]

Waning to build confidence to talk to girls without interacting with them is like wanting to learn how to swim, without wanting to be inside a body of water

You need to man up my fren, build confidence talking to people first, look for a common topic and do not turn the conversation about you. Start slow and do not overthink everything. The worst is that you may no get a 2nd chance or that the date will end earlier

I personally do no like when men avoid eye contact or when they start fidgeting while talking to me, it feels like I am talking to a child that I am about to punish for being mischievous

 

[ShiftyBoi]

See I think I'm going about it all wrong with this girl I'm seeing.

She approached me, said she wanted someone to care about and was glad she met me and all that, and I immediately dick-activated and said I was open to dating. And after that she's been more aloof. I made that mistake, didn't want to be friends for friendship's sake, just wanted poon.

I've been chasing that same emotional high like when she said that stuff to me, to the point of allowing some pretty stupid things to happen. Like she's said really inconsiderate things to me, and was an hour late to our first date, completely preventably she just didn't care enough to be on time. Despite how much it bugs me I'm just letting it roll off me cause whatever it takes for physical affection right?

I wish I could start from square one, maybe it's best to cut and run before I embarrass myself.

 

[A Crying Goblin]

Waning to build confidence to talk to girls without interacting with them is like wanting to learn how to swim, without wanting to be inside a body of water

You need to man up my fren, build confidence talking to people first, look for a common topic and do not turn the conversation about you. Start slow and do not overthink everything. The worst is that you may no get a 2nd chance or that the date will end earlier

I overthink everything. It's not like I get over it when I blunder or fail a conversation. I often think about it weeks, months, even years later. It never leaves me. Shit I did years ago keeps me up at night.

I personally do no like when men avoid eye contact or when they start fidgeting while talking to me, it feels like I am talking to a child that I am about to punish for being mischievous

Gonna sound autistic here but I find eye contact threatening. Maybe not as much from women but men especially. It creeps me out. Prolonged eye contact is not endearing or romantic to me. It's more like "hey bitch let's fucking fight" My rule is generally don't look in the eye unless you're looking for conflict.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

A very rare nugget of wisdom I found on 4chan years ago. That being said, genuine "nerd" girls do exist who aren't damaged goods.

 

[Taxidermied Rat]

to the point of allowing some pretty stupid things to happen. Like she's said really inconsiderate things to me, and was an hour late to our first date, completely preventably she just didn't care enough to be on time. Despite how much it bugs me I'm just letting it roll off me cause whatever it takes for physical affection right?

I wish I could start from square one, maybe it's best to cut and run before I embarrass myself.

It might not be too late.

Step one is for you to decide if you want to stick with this girl or not. Maybe even write out all the pros and cons of dating this girl.

Step two, assuming you want to make it work, you should tell her that what she said/her actions bothered you. It depends on what she said, how it bothered you, and what she is like to determine how you go about telling her but if you do not want the relationship to continue this way, you have to tell her. I recommend a calm approach, do not yell and DO NOT CRY. You should make sure to be clear that her behavior is a deal breaker(don't be dramatic about it though).

If she cares about you at all or is a good lady she

1. won't freak out,
2. won't try to make it your fault or gaslight you
3. will apologize and recognize that she hurt you and will try to not make the same mistake again.

I recommend planning out what you are going to say before you say it so you can be sure of your emotions on the matter and you can deliver it with confidence.

This is risky since she may use this as an opportunity to break up with you. But to be honest it doesn't seem like she really respects you(and she most likely would never sleep with you). Women can smell desperation and it's the biggest turn off. It means that any old hussy will do and a woman wants to feel like you want her for more than her warm body aka they want to feel special/loved. So if this works make sure to compliment her and appreciate if she admits that she is wrong(it's not easy for people to admit that they are wrong). It reinforces her apologetic behavior and reinforces that you actually like her.

So at worst you are no longer wasting time with a woman who would never respect you. But at best it will correct the foundation for what you two have going on and hopefully lead to a better relationship. You seem rather young and it's better to not waste time with someone who will never really love or respect you.

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

Fun question: what are traditionally men movies which women like?

I was watching the northman yesterday and I could definitely imagine my hypothetical gf not liking it as much as I did. Same with all of the Japanese movies I like.

 

[A Crying Goblin]

A very rare nugget of wisdom I found on 4chan years ago. That being said, genuine "nerd" girls do exist who aren't damaged goods.

I mean. It depends what you're looking for. A serious actual relationship or just a quick fuck/hookup. I don't think there's anything wrong or "slutty" if a girl not in a relationship has frequent hookups. Same goes for Men. Hell if I could I'd do it frequently so I don't really look down upon people who do.

 

[Johnny Salami]

A very rare nugget of wisdom I found on 4chan years ago. That being said, genuine "nerd" girls do exist who aren't damaged goods.

Some of the sluttiest girls I've met were the nerdy ones, especially at cons (mind you this was in the mid 2000s before anime became mainstream). Sluts come in all shapes and sizes (and the sluttiest girls I've met have been fat). And I've met gorgeous women that weren't sluts and only had sex with men in LTRs.

 

[dick brain]

Fun question: what are traditionally men movies which women like?

I was watching the northman yesterday and I could definitely imagine my hypothetical gf not liking it as much as I did. Same with all of the Japanese movies I like.

Not foid but my ex and I essentially narrowed it down to men liking stories where people do things and women liking stories where people feel things. She absolutely could not give a fuck about most Cohen brothers movies, for example, because even though plenty of events occur that would reasonably elicit a strong emotional response, that emotional response is seldom even depicted, let alone focused on to any degree of catharsis. She liked the first few seasons of Vikings more than The Northman, for similar reasons.

n of 1 obviously but it seems to bear true in the general public from what I've seen.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

I mean. It depends what you're looking for. A serious actual relationship or just a quick fuck/hookup. I don't think there's anything wrong or "slutty" if a girl not in a relationship has frequent hookups. Same goes for Men. Hell if I could I'd do it frequently so I don't really look down upon people who do.

It really does depend on what you're looking for and how secure you feel as a person.

Some of the sluttiest girls I've met were the nerdy ones, especially at cons (mind you this was in the mid 2000s before anime became mainstream). Sluts come in all shapes and sizes (and the sluttiest girls I've met have been fat). And I've met gorgeous women that weren't sluts and only had sex with men in LTRs.

The key here is that women aren't a monolith. I've met nerdy girls who were femcel tier because of their own toxic behavior, to big tiddy bitches with surprisingly low body counts in their late 20's.

 

[suspended animation]

Fun question: what are traditionally men movies which women like?

I was watching the northman yesterday and I could definitely imagine my hypothetical gf not liking it as much as I did. Same with all of the Japanese movies I like.

Movies with big, strong manly men being heroic and getting naked to show how they make sweet love to the leading lady (like in Northman) will always be enjoyable movies for many of us.

I could watch Alexander Skarsgaard in anything and really enjoy myself.

 

[A Crying Goblin]

It really does depend on what you're looking for

I mean beggars can't be choosers I guess. But in a perfect world: Big booty somewhat nerdy girl who's goofy but not retard goofy. Not necessarily edgy but not easily offended, isn't interested in any kind of stupid politics shit or spergism of that nature. Isn't cocoa crispies extremely dark skin. Isn't boogie tier obese. Uhhhhh.... I dunno. That's most of the bases covered. The rest of the shit like what she does or any other trait is whatever. Obviously I wouldn't want someone who's wanting some cuck shit polyamorous relationship though.

and how secure you feel as a person.

Eeeek. I think based on my posts here you can guess.

 

[Spitz]

See I think I'm going about it all wrong with this girl I'm seeing.

She approached me, said she wanted someone to care about and was glad she met me and all that, and I immediately dick-activated and said I was open to dating. And after that she's been more aloof. I made that mistake, didn't want to be friends for friendship's sake, just wanted poon.

I've been chasing that same emotional high like when she said that stuff to me, to the point of allowing some pretty stupid things to happen. Like she's said really inconsiderate things to me, and was an hour late to our first date, completely preventably she just didn't care enough to be on time. Despite how much it bugs me I'm just letting it roll off me cause whatever it takes for physical affection right?

I wish I could start from square one, maybe it's best to cut and run before I embarrass myself.

Cut and run. You failed a huge Shit Test. An hour wait? You're a doormat to her after that. Don't explain it, either. Don't engage at all. That's more fuel for the humiliation fire.

When you tell a woman to meet you somewhere for a date:
"Let's meet up at the restaurant at 6. 6 and change, and I'm gone."
2 minutes late is too late.

Boundaries from the very beginning, never after the fact.

It might not be too late.

This thread is gonna have more suicides behind it than everything else on the site. You're giving him the worst advice. If you're a man, you're retarded. If you're a woman, that's some cold-blooded shit.

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

Movies with big, strong manly men being heroic and getting naked to show how they make sweet love to the leading lady (like in Northman) will always be enjoyable movies for many of us.

I could watch Alexander Skarsgaard in anything and really enjoy myself.

You like it for the sex, I like it for the action (also the final fight scene and the shit about hamlet).

We are not the same

Not foid but my ex and I essentially narrowed it down to men liking stories where people do things and women liking stories where people feel things. She absolutely could not give a fuck about most Cohen brothers movies, for example, because even though plenty of events occur that would reasonably elicit a strong emotional response, that emotional response is seldom even depicted, let alone focused on to any degree of catharsis. She liked the first few seasons of Vikings more than The Northman, for similar reasons.

n of 1 obviously but it seems to bear true in the general public from what I've seen.

This is accurate cause I really dislike lady Bird for some reason and everything else women have recommended to me like wong kar wai. Despite me being a cinephile I guess I only like one particular type of movies even if I pretty much watch anything. Same thing with the night porter, I've heard a lot of women like it but it's just porn I don't understand what's so good about it. My catharsis is when shit gets done, when people kill each other for justified reasons. Granted it can have a lot of subtext like that one scene from the good the bad and the ugly with the dying soldier and the cigar but it must fundamentally have something which propels the narrative.

 

[56 others]

So why do some supposedly normal women gravitate towards bad boy/drug addict/criminal men? I have my retarded theories but I want to hear first from the women.

 

[ShiftyBoi]

Cut and run. You failed a huge Shit Test. An hour wait? You're a doormat to her after that. Don't explain it, either. Don't engage at all. That's more fuel for the humiliation fire.

When you tell a woman to meet you somewhere for a date:
"Let's meet up at the restaurant at 6. 6 and change, and I'm gone."
2 minutes late is too late.

Boundaries from the very beginning, never after the fact.

We weren't meeting, she had to pick me up cause my roommate was out of town and my car was in the shop.

Her being late wasn't even the embarrassing part of the date, the restaurant we went to required a reservation which I didn't know about, my fault. They let us sit at the bar, so I was closer to her but it was harder to make eye contact or engage like you would in a normal date. It was kind of a double shit burger of a night honestly.

 

[Spitz]

We weren't meeting, she had to pick me up cause my roommate was out of town and my car was in the shop.

Her being late wasn't even the embarrassing part of the date, the restaurant we went to required a reservation which I didn't know about, my fault. They let us sit at the bar, so I was closer to her but it was harder to make eye contact or engage like you would in a normal date. It was kind of a double shit burger of a night honestly.

Shit man that's worse. You need to get the hell outta there. If you stay with her, it might be a few months, if you're lucky, or it might be years before the shit hits you, but it's gonna hit you hard. It's best to break off now while the branch is steady.

You're in some romantic comedy shit right now, and those never work out in the real world.

 

[JamusActimus]

She approached me, said she wanted someone to care about and was glad she met me and all that, and I immediately dick-activated and said I was open to dating. And after that she's been more aloof. I made that mistake, didn't want to be friends for friendship's sake, just wanted poon.

You don't value her presence unless you get pussy?
Sounds like you also don't respect/value her that much.

You have to at least appreciate a woman pre-dating. If you only want to get pussy it's not going to go far.

 

[ShiftyBoi]

You don't value her presence unless you get pussy?
Sounds like you also don't respect/value her that much.

You have to at least appreciate a woman pre-dating. If you only want to get pussy it's not going to go far.

Fair enough. I thought I did appreciate her but I think fumbling and going into dating too soon tanked it. It creates expectations for both parties that are higher than what some people can meet this early.
I don't even want sex I just want someone I can be affectionate with and relate to. But that ape part of your brain it can propel you into doing stupid shit instead of biding your time.