Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[PixarsTedKennedy]

He should just go fuck a hooker honestly

No hooker is going to touch him without upselling his ass by a lot.

 

['Ol Stinky]

Floor ropes until total tooth death.
Josh would not put in a quarter of the effort required to find a hooker let alone sleep with one.
Not to mention his crippling fear of women and the police. (Well, Jury is still out on the police after recent events).
Remember when he accidentally public'd the pot smoking videos? Kid shit a brick!

 

[Spunt]

No hooker is going to touch him without upselling his ass by a lot.

Remember that hooker who wouldn't fuck AirsoftFatty on Fishtank because he smelled bad?

Cobes makes AirsoftFatty look like Terry Crews. The only hookers who would touch Cobes are the ones so wasted on drugs they no longer have functioning senses of smell, sight, taste or touch and who really, really need the money to stay that way.

 

[Smegward]

https://www.youtube.com/clip/Ugkxd0fVl1_gB9-11egAgQ4qOdOXK_B0PH7N?si=Zm4KzlEDy1P_njZC Controlling other people´s dreams is mdwuyt

 

[UncommonParlence]

I saw a video of nakedandtarded where she was saying that it was up to cobes if they would get married but she was all for it. I feel like she's a shabusiness type. A decapitate and rape bloodless type. In her mind they've been together for years. Hopefully cobra scorns her now before she gets close.

Edit: holy fuck. That cobra video is swamped by her schizo comments. Talkin' bout kids and shit. I'm scared for him now...

Lmao, million dollar playground for la Conquistador apartments.

Love, youtube, love... is like a magic wand. Its not built in a day.

You can't rush a fine wine - cobra pouring his 12 day vintage.

 

[BallsMcLongDong]

Same shit happens to me I feel like Bateman in American psycho talking about Huey Lewis

Me: …and on the infamous Valentine’s Day stream he knocks over his cobra cane, and get this, it spills his drink! Know what happens next?”
Gf: *deep sigh* I don’t know, Slim, he cleans it up?”
Me: No! He gets mad at the cane for knocking his drink over! He blames the inanimate object that HE moved, can you believe it?!
GF: Damn, thats crazy.
Me: here’s the kicker, he absolutely hollers a mighty “GODDAMNIIIIIIT” it what he said just before that has become a running joke in the community but here’s the thing almost everybody gets the quote completely wrong. It’s a misconception that what he yells is “I just spilled the last drink combination I haaaaaaaadd!” What he actually yelled that day was “I just spilt the entire fuckin drink combination i haaaaaaaaaaaadddd” now, it does kind of bother me that basically nobody gets the quote right but it is what it is. Maybe it being the last one makes for better memes
Gf: Maybe.

I feel this.
Luckily, she lurks KF and is interested in lolcows. So it usually goes,
Balls: "Guess what Jorp did?"
Pretty Lady: "Seizure?"
Balls: "Nah, but...okay a little bit, but he headbutted his monitor and screamed at the cops during a welfare check."
PL: "Did Clint show up?"
Balls: "Not even close."
PL: "I miss when FloorLord came over."

 

[bonified retard]

No hooker is going to touch him without upselling his ass by a lot.

Being upsold is not an issue to him, it's how he normally does business. If he could find a prostitute with a menu full of additional service options, he might be into it. "One goth whore - white, add hand job, add blow job, add rim job, add bacon, no robusto inspired creampie, add facial."

 

[DYLAN ‘DIELAWN’ VOLK]

Being upsold is not an issue to him, it's how he normally does business. If he could find a prostitute with a menu full of additional service options, he might be into it. "One goth whore - white, add hand job, add blow job, add rim job, add bacon, no robusto inspired creampie, add facial."

"Extra bacon"

 

[biggacracka]

Being upsold is not an issue to him, it's how he normally does business. If he could find a prostitute with a menu full of additional service options, he might be into it. "One goth whore - white, add hand job, add blow job, add rim job, add bacon, no robusto inspired creampie, add facial."

Cobra sex hacks when?

 

[Terrorist]

He really outdid himself by bringing his baby bottle to the family Christmas gathering. Cherry on top was during his apology video where he blames his family for "fucking with him."
Cobes is truly a Christmas miracle.

The reason for the season is telling the trolls to suck your fucking cock. “Alexa, play Cobra’s Crude Christmas Carols.”

 

['Ole Dente]

I jumped on for a second and she was rattling on about Cobes getting on the Rogain and getting his hair back. This is def not going anywhere haha

“I can fix him” is never applicable to this boy, he doesn’t even want to be fixed he is completely happy being a scraggly creature who sniffs chair poots and drinks rotten vegetable water.

But if by some miracle this person is just gunna be okay with him being gross and she loves him anyway, isn’t that ultimately a good thing for this guy? He’s been lonely for years and sure she’s a crackhead but what woman would accept him now? If it works out i’ll be happy for him this is probably the best option he has left. Just some cracked out lady with droopy boobies who sucks his wiener and doesn’t give a fuck about him not having a debit card.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

He really outdid himself by bringing his baby bottle to the family Christmas gathering. Cherry on top was during his apology video where he blames his family for "fucking with him."
Cobes is truly a Christmas miracle.

Is the next event going to be during New Years? I hope I don't have to wait until Valentine's Day for another pout stream.

He just wanted to show off how much of a master winemaker he is to his family along with being a rockstar famous youtuber and a master wandmaker. Cobes is going places, TROLE.

 

[Slim Boglim]

“I can fix him” is never applicable to this boy, he doesn’t even want to be fixed he is completely happy being a scraggly creature who sniffs chair poots and drinks rotten vegetable water.

But if by some miracle this person is just gunna be okay with him being gross and she loves him anyway, isn’t that ultimately a good thing for this guy? He’s been lonely for years and sure she’s a crackhead but what woman would accept him now? If it works out i’ll be happy for him this is probably the best option he has left. Just some cracked out lady with droopy boobies who sucks his wiener and doesn’t give a fuck about him not having a debit card.

I want cobra to find somebody that loves him unconditionally. Unfortunately cobra is so far gone now he’s incapable of love. Out of all the attempts to diagnose him I think he has a unique type of personality disorder that only exists from the specific circumstances he’s lived through. Sort of like Chris Chan. Something created by a bizarre concoction of fantasy, denial of reality, and having a constant audience that routinely pokes, prods, tricks and manipulates.

Cobes mix of circumstance, low intelligence, mental retardation, addiction has morphed into a new unique type of undocumented personality disorder. He’ll never be in a real meaningful relationship (aside from the obvious that nobody would ever want to be his partner) because it’s just not a capability. He would be strictly unable to handle any of the basic fundamentals of a relationship. Imagine Cobes girlfriend being like “hey I asked you to take out the garbage earlier. Can you do it now?” He’d fucking lose his shit “I already WAS going to take out the garbage! Why are you always FUCKING WITH MEEEEE! I’m SICK OF IIIIIITTTTT I’ll take out the garbage WHEN I WANT TO! FUCK AWWWFFFFFF”

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

She's either legitimately insane, trying too hard for clout or a mix of both. Also most Gen Z BPD egirls will end up like her in 20 years. Mark my words.

 

['Ole Dente]

I want cobra to find somebody that loves him unconditionally. Unfortunately cobra is so far gone now he’s incapable of love.

I don't know if his capacity to feel or understand love is a problem so much as his weird understanding of relationships with women is. Relationships seem to be a mixture of antiquated Normal Rockwell shit mixed with getting his dick sucked constantly and having zero tolerance for any retardation, he's spent the past decade sucking up all this gay MGTOW shit and any women he's interacted with have been weens who just tell him whatever he wants to hear, his conceptualization of what a relationship with a woman is is borderline delusional, it's just fantasyland-cotton-candy-pie-in-the-sky bullshit, if by the grace of God some woman who even approaches the concept of normal shows interest in him they will see this and bug the fuck out and that's assuming they're tolerant of everything else and thats practically impossible. The amount of issues with dating this stinky boy is inumerable his shortcomings are so great that his chances of even smelling a crumb of pussy is an actual 0%.

If a woman can just hurdle over all of that and they still wanna be his girlfriend, he should never pass that up. Crackhead, saggy stinky titties, looks like she eats doo doo out of a garbage can, whatever her issues man he's not getting another one like that. Whatever form that relationship takes will be his only chance and it will be 10x better than what he's done for the past decade anyway. It's either he's getting laid by some floppers or he's rubbing pig fat and onions on him.

 

[UncommonParlence]

That last video of his was a master class in cringe.

He spent the whole time peacocking(pisscocking?) and bragging.

He covered how wise beyond his years he is. He got into his gender fixing manifestation. The guitar shredding and vocal "matching".

A lot of bragging about managing his drinking. Plenty of boasts about how humble he is(trust and believe).

This tarded girl(old) has really, really gone to his head.

We got to see philanthropic cobes and hear about how much he'd sacrifice from spending building his clocktower dream mansion to construct a playscape at the Conquistador apartments(1 million $, slapped on the landlords desk).

It's very amusing to see how much his ego has inflated, and how quickly, with a few crumbs of female attention.

Waxing philosophical about love he was.

Spoke at length and repeatedly about forcing his and nakedandtarded's child(Jason Voorhees Saunders) to drink and smoke tobacco. He sounds almost as unhinged as she does.

"Grandpa clint is what Jason will call my dad. I can hear it now" -cobes not worried about having kids.

 

[Mister Baranavichy]

That last video of his was a master class in cringe.

He spent the whole time peacocking(pisscocking?) and bragging.

He covered how wise beyond his years he is. He got into his gender fixing manifestation. The guitar shredding and vocal "matching".

A lot of bragging about managing his drinking. Plenty of boasts about how humble he is(trust and believe).

This tarded girl(old) has really, really gone to his head.

We got to see philanthropic cobes and hear about how much he'd sacrifice from spending building his clocktower dream mansion to construct a playscape at the Conquistador apartments(1 million $, slapped on the landlords desk).

It's very amusing to see how much his ego has inflated, and how quickly, with a few crumbs of female attention.

Waxing philosophical about love he was.

Spoke at length and repeatedly about forcing his and nakedandtarded's child(Jason Voorhees Saunders) to drink and smoke tobacco. He sounds almost as unhinged as she does.

"Grandpa clint is what Jason will call my dad. I can hear it now" -cobes not worried about having kids.

And let me add that he kept repeating himself on everyone of these topics, over and over, for the 2 hours - You can tell he hasn't done anything worthwhile for days andnis just falling back on his bread and butter, I legit thought that the video was stuttering mutliple times because he kept repeating everything almost word for word.

 

[A Wumpa Fruit]

That last video of his was a master class in cringe.

He spent the whole time peacocking(pisscocking?) and bragging.

He covered how wise beyond his years he is. He got into his gender fixing manifestation. The guitar shredding and vocal "matching".

A lot of bragging about managing his drinking. Plenty of boasts about how humble he is(trust and believe).

This tarded girl(old) has really, really gone to his head.

We got to see philanthropic cobes and hear about how much he'd sacrifice from spending building his clocktower dream mansion to construct a playscape at the Conquistador apartments(1 million $, slapped on the landlords desk).

It's very amusing to see how much his ego has inflated, and how quickly, with a few crumbs of female attention.

Waxing philosophical about love he was.

Spoke at length and repeatedly about forcing his and nakedandtarded's child(Jason Voorhees Saunders) to drink and smoke tobacco. He sounds almost as unhinged as she does.

"Grandpa clint is what Jason will call my dad. I can hear it now" -cobes not worried about having kids.

Why all those Chris Chan-style tards always wants kids? I thought that people so self-centered and mentally incapacitated like those guys couldn´t stand any children...good thing that his disgusting desires will not come true...probably

 

[ASeabear8952]

Good lord she’s literally been streaming all day.

https://www.youtube.com/live/oLO05NyDGUM?si=N-sLcIgGoaIHpSP7

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

Ngl, I kinda ship it. I want to see Cobes get his BPD Meth Dream Girl.