She has been one of the most supportive people I've had in my life since I started my transition. I really don't know how I could have predicted what her reaction would be. She's gay herself and one of the most vocal LGBTQIA+ supporters I know. She was there when I came out to the first group of people in my life about my feelings and was monumental in helping me find true happiness.
It's like when I asked her out last night, everything I knew about her went out the window. All of a sudden, the incredibly supportive ally disappeared and was replaced by this bully. She could have just said no. Just told me she only saw me as a friend or wasn't interested in trying to have a more serious relationship with me. She didn't even need to give me a reason. She could have just said no thank you, and it would have been the end of it.
Instead, she had to let me know that she would NEVER date "anyone like me." She told me that she's a lesbian, not pansexual and that it was offensive to ask her out. She had to make it perfectly clear to me that "no REAL lesbian will ever date an AMAB person EVER!" These are her direct words.
This crushed me so much. Like, I actually felt years of progress on my self-consciousness and self-acceptance disappear. I couldn't even stand up for myself. I just had to stop reading the texts and put my phone away. I just laid in bed for hours, feeling like every little insecurity was true. Her friends are even backing her up because she had to tell them I asked her out. Someone else from the friend group even messaged me, telling me that I was "making real lesbians uncomfortable." and that "you can't be a lesbian, so please don't put another person in that situation."
My friend sent me a few texts this morning. I haven't even looked at them, but I caught a glimpse of her telling me that she's "sorry my feelings are hurt." I'm probably not even going to read them. Really love it when your "friends" allow their mask to fall and show they actually don't respect your identity at all :')