My dysphoria...
Like many ABDL people within this community, I am transgender (or gender fluid? I'm confused… but I know I hate my body and wish I had more feminine features and less hair) . Either way I experience a large amount of gender dysphoria that negatively impacts my life on a daily basis. Throughout my life, I've recognized that things would have been much simpler if I were simply just born a girl. This prompted me to present myself as a girl online whenever I was online, just so I could for a brief moment actually feel like myself. Then in person I would present myself as a male to appease my conservative family and be able to live without question or ridicule. Unfortunately, when I look in the mirror, I don't see the girl that I aspire to be or the femboi I believe I might be; instead, I see a gross hairy monster, someone that I do not recognize but someone I’m forced to be (Like picking a wrong character in a video game). I experience a deep sense of depression from dysphoria on a daily basis, I hate looking at myself in the mirror. Despite attempts to change how I look through dieting and daily shaving, the persistent 4 o'clock shadow remains, making even simple ABDL photos for Twitter and JustForFans a challenge to share without significant amounts of makeup and hours of Photoshop. The face mask in my photos not only meant to conceal my identity due to the nature of what I draw online but also serves as a way to hide the stubborn 4 o’clock shadow that I always have present.
Ever since highschool I long desired to pursue hormones and hormone blockers, but growing up in a conservative household with my parents' insurance has deterred me, as I fear if they found out they would disown me and kick me off their insurance. I knew I could get my own insurance however affording it was not an option considering I was and still am struggling with money. However I'm now 26 and thus been kicked off my parents insurance, because of this I was forced to switch to Medicaid. This proved to be both a blessing and a curse. My antidepressants are now more expensive and coverage for hospital visits are higher but I'm no longer attached to my parents insurance and thus have the opportunity now to transition without their interference which is something I want more then anything right now. However I recognize my insurance lack of support for transitioning resources. This is where I hope readers of this letter might come in, I'm reaching out for donations to fund my journey towards feeling more at ease in my own body. Contributions will go towards essential aspects of my transition, including doctor appointments, therapy for a gender dysphoria diagnosis, laser hair removal, and potential surgeries for my jawline and private parts.
Currently I identify as gender fluid but yearning to have been born female, my facial and body hair causes significant amounts of dysphoria. Daily shaving leaves me with a painful 4 o'clock shadow and constant razor burns which serves as a daily reminder of my gender dysphoria. I want more than anything to be able to be myself, to be comfortable in my own body. To be able to look in the mirror and not immediately cringe at the sight I see. I want to be able to take ABDL pictures without having to go through hours of photoshop. I want to be me.
I know that this is a large request to ask however I'm unsure where else to turn to. I wish I didn't have to use the Internet to beg for my transition goals but I want to be able to be comfortable in my own skin. Any amount donated will be a huge help in achieving this goal. If you have the means to support me and enjoy my artwork I’d love your support. However please don’t feel pressured to donate. I recognize that I ask for help often and I don’t want to take advantage of anyone's generosity especially if you're also struggling with money and gender dysphoria. Please don’t donate if you helped me in the past with rent or are also struggling with gender dysphoria and money.
Thank you for reading my long letter and I hope you all have a lovely night

I also hope that you feel comfy in your body and if you don’t I hope you’ll be able to feel comfy in yours someday <3
Donation Link
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=DEYXMS9JFRWM8