Most pathetic lolcow(s)?

[AMHOLIO]

I'll take multiple answers, but which lolcow do you think is the most pathetic? Is it bossmanjack's endless begging? Is it the Ralphamale losing pretty much everything and trying to pretend he isn't owned (while slowly shrinking into a corncob)? Is it Chris and his continued desire to live in his delusional world? Is it null, because ?

Discuss.

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

i think as a conclusion for 2023, Rekieta being catfished as a lawyer and having wife and kids made it the most pathetic lolcow for me. i mean it's completely fine to go full retard and thirst post from time to time but jesus christ you have a reputation and a fucking family to feed ffs and all you do is just drink like a bum and make an ass out of yourself in front of the live stream, so even Null makes fun of you. idk it's just so fucking weird.

 

[AMHOLIO]

idk it's just so fucking weird.

Is this just what middle age men are cursed to go through? "Do I stag responsible or do I become a giant fucking manchild who shirks responsibilities?" There's so many men who don't and an alarming number of men who do (and some have replaced it with trooning), I feel like we should have studies on what causes men to tard out by now.

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

Is this just what middle age men are cursed to go through? "Do I stag responsible or do I become a giant fucking manchild who shirks responsibilities?" There's so many men who don't and an alarming number of men who do (and some have replaced it with trooning), I feel like we should have studies on what causes men to tard out by now.

i think the midlife-crisis is playing a small part, maybe a bigger part if you're unhappy and unfullfilled in life, but it shouldn't fuck a persons mind that hard, by thinking wtf someone should do with his limited time on earth.

 

[A Crying Goblin]

Being a lolcow is like Sin. Besides the unforgivable sin, most of them are the same level. I'd say they're all equally pathetic. Horrorcows are when you get to the next level of shit. Someone like a Nick Bate, Tooter, EDP, they all give you that visceral shock and level of hatred. Someone like a OUMB or Boogie you just feel frustrated at their self destruction/lack of change. But you don't pity them because they're fucking annoying.

Genuinely schizo/tardcows are the most pathetic in the sense you feel genuine sympathy/pity for them.

 

[WTBOnlineFather]

In my book it's Booger1488. Not only is he viscerally disgusting in every way but he has perfected the "art" of playing victim in a way no one else I know has quite achieved. Even DSP doesn't always blame external factors for every single one of his own fuckups like Boogie, he can at least pretend like he's owning up to something even if he immediately minimizes it. Boogie will literally use phrases like "you have to pat me on the back" like he's a 5 year old child who's successfully wiped his own ass for the first time, and his clear public humiliation fetish adds another dimension of grossoutitude to everything he does.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

I got to go with my boy Fatrick Hamlimson. There are so many layers of being a sad pathetic fat fuck. Usually with a lolcow, there is some sympathy to be had, not with Patrick. He is in a hell of his own creation and acts surprised that his dumb actions have consequences.

Ralph used to be successful. You root for Bossman Jack just so he has more money to lose harder. Patrick is so hateable because every benign online interaction turns caustic with his shitty attitude.

He tries (very unsuccessfully) to put on this tough guy persona. Just because he owns a cheap glock and a 500cc Triumph, he thinks that makes him a weapons expert and certified badass. He's compulsive liar and thinks repeating the same thing over and over will materialize it into fruition. He's a deadbeat who doesn't pay his debts for frivolous lawsuits. I could go on but there's nearly 3000 pages of bullshit with this clown.

 

[A Crying Goblin]

In my book it's Booger1488. Not only is he viscerally disgusting in every way but he has perfected the "art" of playing victim in a way no one else I know has quite achieved. Even DSP doesn't always blame external factors for every single one of his own fuckups like Boogie, he can at least pretend like he's owning up to something even if he immediately minimizes it. Boogie will literally use phrases like "you have to pat me on the back" like he's a 5 year old child who's successfully wiped his own ass for the first time, and his clear public humiliation fetish adds another dimension of grossoutitude to everything he does.

Boogie is the definition of Beta male. I think for the most part that Alpha/Beta shit is fucking retarded but Booger is 100 percent beta. Keemstar was yelling at him, calling him a fucking retard, flaming the absolute shit out of him.

All Booger can do is say: "Yeah man I respect that" Then he gets on his knees for his Daddy Keem like a lil bitch. He talks a big game in the podcast and makes fun of Wings a lot, despite being (as it has been revealed) a far Bigger cow than even him. He just managed to convince everyone over the years he's not because of his Youtube Fame association, now that's crumbling and we see just how much of a Lolcow booger really is. I used to like him to. I thought he was hilarious. Now I basically hate him. He's such a narcissistic, self centered, sociopathic piece of shit. The world would be better if that fat faggot kicks the bucket.

 

[AMHOLIO]

He's compulsive liar and thinks repeating the same thing over and over will materialize it into fruition. He's a deadbeat who doesn't pay his debts for frivolous lawsuits. I could go on but there's nearly 3000 pages of bullshit with this clown.

I hate being like this but part of the 3000 pages is like 20% a-logging. It got so bad that null had to put the thread on a hiatus for a bit bc people could not calm the fuck down about Mr. Fat and just.... exploded. Tard raging, forever. There's something to be said about being so unlikeable that other people melt down at you. I feel like Patrick, WingsofRedemption, and formerly DarksydePhil have those anti-fanbases where you wonder if some of the people with blind rage (not general anger and annoyance like you expressed) are seeing a too much of themselves or someone they know in them. I think due to that my brain doesn't equate Pat as the most pathetic, due to his detractors sometimes even being more pathetic.


I think Lou Gallagher, furry begger, is one of the most pathetic since he cries for food, griftws off his dying cat without giving the cat the medical care, and lives with his parents who comfortably feed him but don't give him enough gibs for junkfood and furry porn. It's just sad and doubled in patheticness since he has nothing to worry about and doesn't do much when called out. Boogie is also a good candidate, but he has his own house (for now) and girlfriend (for now) and a theoretical youtube career so he's slightly more successful than Lou for me.

I think patheticness does inspire sympathy, but I see it more as derogatory. Pathetic in the sense you see someone constantly wasting something they could fix but are too lazy or stubborn to, or always debasing themselves for a fix in a way embarrassing to everyone else or harder on the body/soul than actually getting a job or working towards a goal. Sympathy has run out and just dissapointment and annoyance remains. That's my take on patheticness for this thread, but I'm fine with people talking about pathetic in evoking sympathetic feelings too.

 

[🔪Cold Steel Brand Rep🔪]

Chris is so incredibly pathetic nobody even brought him up yet. He's so pathetic that as soon as we found a reason, he was erased from the Collective consciousness, after being allowed to reside there out of pity for several years. Squeezing every last bit of goodwill out of a community that previously accepted you is peak pathetic, and it's a path many of our other friends are now following.

 

[A Crying Goblin]

Chris is so incredibly pathetic nobody even brought him up yet. He's so pathetic that as soon as we found a reason, he was erased from the Collective consciousness, after being allowed to reside there out of pity for several years. Squeezing every last bit of goodwill out of a community that previously accepted you is peak pathetic, and it's a path many of our other friends are now following.

Chris is hard to compare to anyone. He's simultaneously both a remarkable and pathetic person. He truly is an enigma, a one of a kind. There's nobody like him and there never will be ever again. You can't predict what he's going to do next, there is no low point for Chris. The entire saga is just a neverending downwards spiral into horror, hilarity and insanity. I don't look back upon any of the "Sagas" With some kind of reverence or longing for the good old days. I feel depressed and grossed out overall. He should've never had internet access.

Probably should've just been aborted to begin with.

 

[Lavender Moth]

Anyone who troons automatically becomes a special level of pathetic to me, but Dong Gone Ching Chong William "Liz" Fong-Jones is #1 imo.

Imagine being a man who cuts his own cock off, rapes a woman, admits to raping said woman while trying to spin HIMSELF as "the victim" because it was all just "a consent accident", and then proceeds to blow thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to silence a group of misfits who enjoy laughing at his dickless rapist antics. He could do so much good with that kind of money. Children's charities, food banks, animal shelters; I can think of a dozen charity groups off the top of my head that could do so much tangible good if he had donated a fat sum of cash to them. But no, instead he's content to toss millions into the void all because he got deservingly laughed at for being a pathetic, soulless, cockless rapist with a punchable, manly brick face and a lumpy eunuchoid body.

Chris is definitely pathetic, but at least he still has his cock.

 

[A Crying Goblin]

Anyone who troons automatically becomes a special level of pathetic to me, but Dong Gone Ching Chong William "Liz" Fong-Jones is #1 imo.

Imagine being a man who cuts his own cock off, rapes a woman, admits to raping said woman while trying to spin HIMSELF as "the victim" because it was all just "a consent accident", and then proceeds to blow thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to silence a group of misfits who enjoy laughing at his dickless rapist antics. He could do so much good with that kind of money. Children's charities, food banks, animal shelters; I can think of a dozen charity groups off the top of my head that could do so much tangible good if he had donated a fat sum of cash to them. But no, instead he's content to toss millions into the void all because he got deservingly laughed at for being a pathetic, soulless, cockless rapist with a punchable, manly brick face and a lumpy eunuchoid body.

Chris is definitely pathetic, but at least he still has his cock.

He did fuck his mom and slice his taint open, so he's not far behind.

 

[polyester]

SecretGamerGrrl is up there.


1) Has horrible genes - he's autistic, obese, bald, and looks twice his age.

2) Is a total "failure to start" - left school with nothing lined up, 'cause he thought he could just be a "game designer" or "game journalist", but then completely failed to make it happen. Continues to be a workshy NEET into his 40s.

3) Lived with his mom until he was almost 40; Then she finally managed to dump him in a separate apartment (that she pays for, and to which she continues to deliver tendies).

4 Has often referred to his cousin as the closest thing he ever had to a friend. Then wasn't invited to that cousin's wedding (ouch).

5) Trooned out to finally get some positive attention online. And it initially worked out great during GamerGate, where it made him one of the biggest figures in the "anti" camp, and where he though he had "friends" and a purpose for the first time in his life. But this only made the crash come all the harder, when he was excommunicated by Zoe Quinn and relegated to the lowest and most toxic parts of troon twitter.

6) Has spent most of his days since GamerGate throwing himself pity parties in the form of long, unreadable tweetchains filled with cry-typing and vague-posting, while e-begging for neetbux so that he can buy himself more video games.


He's become boring since he's been banned from Twitter, though.

 

[Meat Target]

Russell Greer is pretty pathetic. Face and personality like a rat, loses all the time, no hobbies, gets pissy that his zero-effort master plans don't work, all while being delusionally narcissistic.

 

[Beautiful Border]

People like Cynthia Hanson and Bancystudios1994 always make me feel a tinge of sadness. People who have an ambition but lack the technical skill or competence to produce anything other people would unironically enjoy, and their lives contain nothing else to make up for it either. They somehow loop back around to being inspirational and I end up rooting for them more than I'm laughing at them. And that really is being pathetic in its purest form, when people don't even want to make fun of you because it makes them feel bad.

 

[Dire Dire Cocks]

I would bet money Patrick Tomlinson spends at least 5 hours a day on Twitter, solely responding to trolls.

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

Goonclown is the first one that comes to mind. I have never seen anyone so completely a slave to their lust. The guy is young, 21, but already thrown his life away.

 

[TATE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE!!]

View attachment 5606497
SecretGamerGrrl is up there.


1) Has horrible genes - he's autistic, obese, bald, and looks twice his age.

2) Is a total "failure to start" - left school with nothing lined up, 'cause he thought he could just be a "game designer" or "game journalist", but then completely failed to make it happen. Continues to be a workshy NEET into his 40s.

3) Lived with his mom until he was almost 40; Then she finally managed to dump him in a separate apartment (that she pays for, and to which she continues to deliver tendies).

4 Has often referred to his cousin as the closest thing he ever had to a friend. Then wasn't invited to that cousin's wedding (ouch).

5) Trooned out to finally get some positive attention online. And it initially worked out great during GamerGate, where it made him one of the biggest figures in the "anti" camp, and where he though he had "friends" and a purpose for the first time in his life. But this only made the crash come all the harder, when he was excommunicated by Zoe Quinn and relegated to the lowest and most toxic parts of troon twitter.

6) Has spent most of his days since GamerGate throwing himself pity parties in the form of long, unreadable tweetchains filled with cry-typing and vague-posting, while e-begging for neetbux so that he can buy himself more video games.


He's become boring since he's been banned from Twitter, though.

Pretty much first person that crosses my mind when I think of absolutely pathetic. Not even fun to watch make an ass of himself.

I think he beats out moviebob for me by a very slim margin.

 

[A Crying Goblin]

Also not really lolcows in the traditional sense, but when going by pathetic scale? Oh yeah... That being: Elliot Rodger, Randy Stair, and our very own @FuckYou.

Elliot: Mind bogglingly narcissistic, entitled, whiny pathetic. Had everything in life handed to him. Rich family, nice car, great opportunities in the area he lived in, a family who supported him, physically attractive, ETC. This dude went to private concerts for celebrities and traveled the world. Yet he was still a whining, autistic pathetic faggot. His manifesto is a massive streak of cope and it's so hard to fucking believe he's being serious writing that shit. Motherfucker tried to push girls off a ledge and he's all shocked and angry "HRRN the world is so fucking against me, all the Chads did that to me!" YEAH I WONDER WHY.

Randy Stair: One of the saddest, most bizarre human beings to ever live. He's a Tranny Brony Columbine worshipping edgelord who shot up his supermarket because he wanted to be reincarnated as a Nickelodeon goth girl with a Ghost pussy. He was 24 years old worshipping fucking Columbine.. That's the shit edgy 15 year old girls do. This motherfucker was 24. Had noodle arms and shit accuracy. Just watch his shooting range video, motherfucker couldn't hit shit from like 10 foot away.. WITH A SHOTGUN. Absolute waste of space.

William Atchison/FuckYou: Do I even need to say anything? Spent years obsessing over autistic computer block games, starting drama on the forums of said games. Was a vapid low IQ retard, said and did nothing unique or original, got cucked by a fucking Couch pushed by an 80 year old grandma.

All three of these pathetic faggots can rest in shit.